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(Slate)   Well, I was an introvert before it was cool   (slate.com) divider line 98
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8024 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Aug 2013 at 3:43 PM (48 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-08-27 02:12:11 PM
Introverts, rejoice! The Internet thinks your glorious idiosyncrasies and private vexations are adorable and that you are worthy of complex care and feeding. Yes, it's great to be an introvert in 2013!

You mean I'm not alone?

That sucks.
 
2013-08-27 02:23:46 PM
I've been an introvert since I was in the freakin' cradle. Seriously, mom says I used to rarely cry and just sat there watching the world go by. Not much has changed, except I don't wear diapers anymore.

/at least not for another 30 years or so
 
2013-08-27 02:50:05 PM
www.shiftjournal.com
 
2013-08-27 03:25:51 PM
Shut up, Slate.  Nobody cares what you think.
 
2013-08-27 03:42:44 PM
We talking about those weird little dudes again?
 
2013-08-27 03:46:19 PM

Lucky LaRue: Shut up, Slate.  Nobody cares what you think.


That's basically what I came here to say. I got a few paragraphs in and couldn't come up with any reason to continue the pain.
 
2013-08-27 03:49:41 PM
No, being an introvert is not cool.

/Introvert
//Hate being an introvert
 
2013-08-27 03:50:21 PM
Wait, I thought being introverted was recently included in the autism spectrum.
 
2013-08-27 03:51:02 PM
Of course the internet loves introverts. It was created by and for us.
 
2013-08-27 03:52:14 PM

JesseL: Lucky LaRue: Shut up, Slate.  Nobody cares what you think.

That's basically what I came here to say. I got a few paragraphs in and couldn't come up with any reason to continue the pain.


Slate and crowds have two things in common : they both irritate and nauseate me.
 
2013-08-27 03:55:08 PM
*glances up briefly, then goes back to reading*
 
2013-08-27 03:55:48 PM

InfrasonicTom: Wait, I thought being introverted was recently included in the autism spectrum.


Everybody is on the autistic spectrum now. It's how they claim the need for grant money.
 
2013-08-27 03:56:05 PM
I'm probably about 75% introverted, although by all accounts I'm a super-friendly drunk.
 
2013-08-27 03:57:40 PM
I want to kick extroverts in the face.
 
2013-08-27 03:58:38 PM
Didn't we have this thread a few weeks ago? We all bonded, shared our personal frutrations and angst, told that one guy who didn't get it to shut up?

Yes?

Oh, ok carry on then.
 
2013-08-27 03:58:44 PM
Slate pretends to know what they are talking about yet again. Typical mixed message in the article that appeals to nearly everyone trying to be in the know, stay on the bleeding edge of the latest trends. Not a shred of factual evidence or logical thread to follow...

Is Slate female?
 
2013-08-27 03:59:57 PM

stevetherobot: No, being an introvert is not cool.

/Introvert
//Hate being an introvert


Sorry you think so. I hope you can work with it to be happy.
 
2013-08-27 04:03:48 PM

special20: Slate pretends to know what they are talking about yet again. Typical mixed message in the article that appeals to nearly everyone trying to be in the know, stay on the bleeding edge of the latest trends. Not a shred of factual evidence or logical thread to follow...

Is Slate female?


No, Slate is just an overeducated upper middle class white American from the Northeast who was sheltered from the actual world but thinks they know better and more than everyone and no matter how stylish or trendy they want to be, they still only feel at home wearing clothing from the LL Bean catalogue.
 
2013-08-27 04:04:01 PM
For years I was a really bad introvert. Really wouldn't talk to anyone but in college I came out of my shell a little bit. I'm a lot better now, but now and then I will slip back into my shell.
 
2013-08-27 04:11:31 PM
I was terribly introverted until I discovered crystal meth.
 
2013-08-27 04:14:04 PM
Why is everyone so desperate to label themselves as being "something"?
 
2013-08-27 04:15:25 PM

groppet: For years I was a really bad introvert. Really wouldn't talk to anyone but in college I came out of my shell a little bit. I'm a lot better now, but now and then I will slip back into my shell.



Sounds a lot like my own story -- around the same age I was probably full-blown avoidant. Certain social situations, like being in a large room with more than like 5 people, made me feel claustrophobic, I couldn't stand it. Goes without saying I never talked to strangers.

That's all gone away. And nowadays I'll always talk to strangers if I think I might make them laugh, and I usually succeed. I think. And I think I probably come across as being comfortable in my own skin.

Thing is most of the time I *like* being alone.
 
2013-08-27 04:19:41 PM
Being an introvert is never cool, but having the thoughtfulness and consideration that often comes with being very introverted very much is. It depends on the day as to if I'd say the trade offs are worth it, but given the full-derp alternative of being a loudmouth, impulsive extrovert I'll be happy staying who I am.
 
2013-08-27 04:21:03 PM
I was on the internet before it was cool.

/it was called "the usenet"
//get off my lawn
 
2013-08-27 04:21:26 PM
*clears throat and adjusts top hat*

Well, I'd introvert her.

/and we're done.
 
2013-08-27 04:22:08 PM

baconbeard: Why is everyone so desperate to label themselves as being "something"?


Human nature.  No one wants to feel alone and ostracized.  Ostracization can make you do some funny things to be accepted....

By gaining a label, you have a group you can identify with, and you don't feel as lonely.
 
2013-08-27 04:38:46 PM
Can you please keep it down?
 
2013-08-27 04:40:58 PM
FTFA: "...you prefer the window or aisle seat on buses."

I've never been on a bus that has anything other than window or aisle seats (except that long seat that stretches across the entire back wall).
 
2013-08-27 04:42:32 PM
In before all the extraverts who pop in to angrily say that introversion is just anxiety.

/kind of funny to see extraverts being defensive, that's definitely a last-couple-years new thing
 
2013-08-27 04:46:08 PM

aerojockey: In before all the extraverts who pop in to angrily say that introversion is just anxiety.

/kind of funny to see extraverts being defensive, that's definitely a last-couple-years new thing


You have to tell them it's not anxiety, it's just a dislike of loud moronic idiots.

Then they really get mad.
 
2013-08-27 04:47:04 PM
my wife is an introvert bordering on hermit like.

/love her.
 
2013-08-27 04:48:10 PM

FunkOut: aerojockey: In before all the extraverts who pop in to angrily say that introversion is just anxiety.

/kind of funny to see extraverts being defensive, that's definitely a last-couple-years new thing

You have to tell them it's not anxiety, it's just a dislike of loud moronic idiots.

Then they really get mad.


And they still feel owed some social interaction.
 
2013-08-27 04:50:19 PM
Interactions with extroverts exhaust me.  Doesn't mean I hate extroverts.
 
2013-08-27 04:53:09 PM
Introvert or covert narcissist?


It seems that going on and on about being a sensitive introvert tends actually makes one a self loathing asshole.
 
2013-08-27 04:55:14 PM

Super Chronic: I'm probably about 75% introverted, although by all accounts I'm a super-friendly drunk.


They should add: Introverts don't like to be pigeonholed into a social category based on a handy-dandy checklist.
 
2013-08-27 04:56:15 PM

lostcat: FTFA: "...you prefer the window or aisle seat on buses."

I've never been on a bus that has anything other than window or aisle seats (except that long seat that stretches across the entire back wall).


It's almost like all this bullshiat started from a pandering book that told people what they wanted to hear - that they were super-special snowflakes that needed to be treated better and to their every whim. That'd never sell, right?
 
2013-08-27 04:56:53 PM

groppet: For years I was a really bad introvert. Really wouldn't talk to anyone but in college I came out of my shell a little bit. I'm a lot better now, but now and then I will slip back into my shell.



That sounds more like shyness/anxiety (did you feel uncomfortable around others?).   Introversion has more to do with people that prefer to be/work alone or in small groups, but have no major issues interacting with others.

One way to look at it is this... would you prefer to work in your own office, or in a large communal room.

Most shy people are introverts, but most introverts are not shy.
 
2013-08-27 04:57:09 PM

stevetherobot: No, being an introvert is not cool.

/Introvert
//Hate being an introvert




Most introverts just appear that way.
 
2013-08-27 05:00:45 PM

aerojockey: In before all the extraverts who pop in to angrily say that introversion is just anxiety.

/kind of funny to see extraverts being defensive, that's definitely a last-couple-years new thing


I think it's just more visible with the all the social networking options now.

I definitely remember all sorts of people getting defensive back in the 90's when I was in junior high and high school and that introversion was just "low self-esteem" when I didn't want to go out for sports and just read during lunch instead of play basketball.

Fark those people.  I love me now, back then they only convinced me there was something "wrong" with me and made me really farking depressed.
 
2013-08-27 05:01:09 PM
Another thread where "introverts" come to volunteer intimate details and descriptions of themselves to millions of random strangers, and how it makes them more cool than everyone else?
 
2013-08-27 05:01:13 PM
My introversion has slowly morphed into misanthropy over the years.
 
2013-08-27 05:02:47 PM

ThrobblefootSpectre: Another thread where "introverts" come to volunteer intimate details and descriptions of themselves to millions of random strangers, and how it makes them more cool than everyone else?


I'm more introverted than any motherfarker here.  I'll be streaming my webcam for 8 hours tonight so you all can see how introverted I am.  I'll tweet the link to all my followers when I get the feed up.
 
2013-08-27 05:04:12 PM

stevetherobot: No, being an introvert is not cool.

/Introvert
//Hate being an introvert


Why?

I'm an introvert and I wouldn't have it otherwise. The only downside to being an introvert are the extroverts who think not being all jumpy with joy all the time is the same as having a "negative attitude."

/supposedly an extrovert as a kid
//school changed that
 
2013-08-27 05:05:20 PM

LoneCraneFullMoon: My introversion has slowly morphed into misanthropy over the years.

 
2013-08-27 05:05:23 PM

TheDirtyNacho: groppet: For years I was a really bad introvert. Really wouldn't talk to anyone but in college I came out of my shell a little bit. I'm a lot better now, but now and then I will slip back into my shell.


That sounds more like shyness/anxiety (did you feel uncomfortable around others?).   Introversion has more to do with people that prefer to be/work alone or in small groups, but have no major issues interacting with others.

One way to look at it is this... would you prefer to work in your own office, or in a large communal room.

Most shy people are introverts, but most introverts are not shy.


Shyness and anxiety aren't the same thing, but both seem to get lumped in with the pop psychology definition of introvert. I blame the kind of people who write articles for sites like Slate.
 
2013-08-27 05:09:22 PM

Keeve: Super Chronic: I'm probably about 75% introverted, although by all accounts I'm a super-friendly drunk.

They should add: Introverts don't like to be pigeonholed into a social category based on a handy-dandy checklist.


They probably also make sure they're responding to the right post, presumably.  When did I say anything about a checklist?
 
2013-08-27 05:10:12 PM

meat0918: By gaining a label, you have a group you can identify with, and you don't feel as lonely.


You don't feel as lonely my ass. Not all labels are good labels, meat.
 
2013-08-27 05:16:35 PM

meat0918: baconbeard: Why is everyone so desperate to label themselves as being "something"?

Human nature.  No one wants to feel alone and ostracized.  Ostracization can make you do some funny things to be accepted....

By gaining a label, you have a group you can identify with, and you don't feel as lonely.


If we didn't label anything, nobody would be able to identify anything.

Humans need to label things because most are not telepathic.
 
2013-08-27 05:16:50 PM

Super Chronic: Keeve: Super Chronic: I'm probably about 75% introverted, although by all accounts I'm a super-friendly drunk.

They should add: Introverts don't like to be pigeonholed into a social category based on a handy-dandy checklist.

They probably also make sure they're responding to the right post, presumably.  When did I say anything about a checklist?


Sorry, I thought I was referring to the article. Turns out I was referring to the link within the article: "23 Signs You're Secretly an Introvert," out of which I also hit about 75% of their criteria.
 
2013-08-27 05:18:16 PM
Is this going to be like when geeks became trendy and the fashionable people started wearing glasses and saying they were geeks?  Do we have any external indicators than can be made marketable?
 
2013-08-27 05:19:38 PM

FunkOut: special20: Slate pretends to know what they are talking about yet again. Typical mixed message in the article that appeals to nearly everyone trying to be in the know, stay on the bleeding edge of the latest trends. Not a shred of factual evidence or logical thread to follow...

Is Slate female?

No, Slate is just an overeducated upper middle class white American from the Northeast who was sheltered from the actual world but thinks they know better and more than everyone and no matter how stylish or trendy they want to be, they still only feel at home wearing clothing from the LL Bean catalogue.


Well, since Banana Republic stopped being a catalog only haberdasher, it follows that Slate would be in such a confused state.
 
2013-08-27 05:20:14 PM

Keeve: Super Chronic: Keeve: Super Chronic: I'm probably about 75% introverted, although by all accounts I'm a super-friendly drunk.

They should add: Introverts don't like to be pigeonholed into a social category based on a handy-dandy checklist.

They probably also make sure they're responding to the right post, presumably.  When did I say anything about a checklist?

Sorry, I thought I was referring to the article. Turns out I was referring to the link within the article: "23 Signs You're Secretly an Introvert," out of which I also hit about 75% of their criteria.


Well okay, but when I say "probably about," I'm not actually quantifying anything here.  Just saying more introverted than not, as a rule, with one glorious exception.  I did read the "23 signs" article and while I didn't tick them all off, some of them hit home, particularly the one about screening calls (I almost never answer my phone, unless it's my wife or daughter; even if it's a friend, I'll usually let them leave a message and I'll call them back after I work up the energy).
 
2013-08-27 05:22:33 PM
I'm tired of the Buzzfeed et al. "[x] Jokes/Things Only [Group] Will Understand" lists. The content is always very accessible and broadly applicable, but packaged so that people who "get" it can feel special about their exclusive hobby or trait. yawn.

Always a canny way to get pageviews, though.
 
2013-08-27 05:22:51 PM

JNowe: Is this going to be like when geeks became trendy and the fashionable people started wearing glasses and saying they were geeks?  Do we have any external indicators than can be made marketable?


Well, we tend to be quiet.

If it'll get the "fashionable people" to STFU, I'd be willing to pay for that.
 
2013-08-27 05:31:23 PM

Inchoate: I'm tired of the Buzzfeed et al. "[x] Jokes/Things Only [Group] Will Understand" lists. The content is always very accessible and broadly applicable, but packaged so that people who "get" it can feel special about their exclusive hobby or trait. yawn.

Always a canny way to get pageviews, though.


"Things Only People With OCD Will Understand" ....click...click...click..."#4 Washing Your Hands Until Your Cuticles Bleed and Your Nails Become Loose"...heh heh heh, got me there...heh heh...*SOB*
 
2013-08-27 05:40:02 PM
Being a social introvert, myself I don't find things to be too bad. By hanging back in a social environment for a while, I get to see who is worth trying to talk to instead of having to suffer the disappointment of speaking to someone I can not have meaningful dialogue with.

/lurked fark for years before assuming a handle
//was hermit-level introvert in school
///got better
 
2013-08-27 05:43:14 PM

Skywolf Philosopher: meat0918: By gaining a label, you have a group you can identify with, and you don't feel as lonely.

You don't feel as lonely my ass. Not all labels are good labels, meat.


I know.

I'm a crazy cracker that people think is dirt poor, and get treated as such.

Truth is I'm a eccentric cracker that's pretty well off.
 
2013-08-27 05:56:05 PM

stevetherobot: No, being an introvert is not cool.

/Introvert
//Hate being an introvert


And this is how you tell the "real" Introverts from the hipster snowflakes that want to be like the Big Bang Theory crew.

This is like when Geek went from being an unfortunate group to belong to, to being synonymous with "Liking Something a Lot" and dressing funny.

Also, fark the Big Bang Theory. That show is terrible in every way.
 
2013-08-27 05:56:56 PM

stevetherobot: No, being an introvert is not cool.

/Introvert
//Hate being an introvert


Maybe you should question whether you are actually an introvert, or just shy/have poor social skills or low self-esteem.

Being an introvert and being shy often go together, but they are actually two different things. The shyness and lack of confidence can be caused by being introverted, but unlike introvertedness which is a matter of personality, shyness can be overcome.  I am a pretty hardcore introvert and as a kid I was extremely shy as well as a result, but over the years I gained confidence and overcame my shyness. Alcohol, drugs, and farking drunk chicks with low esteem helped a lot to make the first steps though.

I have no trouble interacting with people anymore. However, there are limits.  For each evening doing something social, I need an evening of alone time.  And if I have a choice between going to party and staying at home, I rather stay at home. But then again, I am perfectly happy being alone at home, or doing things by myself.

It's all about finding a balance. Accept that you are an introvert,be confident about it. It doesn't mean that you a lesser being. It doesn't mean that you can't learn how to be social.(unless you are also autistic). I joined Toastmasters and am now a confident pubic speaker, and the better you get at techniques, the less tiresome it becomes.

I also believe that even introverts need some social interaction in order to stay human and keep in touch with the world. Sometimes I have to force myself to accept an invitation, but if I do so, often it turns out to be fun.  I've learned to be social while at work, and I am actually a great networker because of my broad interests, and as long as I counter it with enough recovery time alone. I am lucky to have a few good friends who know me, and don't mind if I don't do smalltalk much.

I am perfectly happy being introverted. If some wizard would offer me a chance to turn into an extrovert, I'd refuse it.
 
2013-08-27 05:59:55 PM

aerojockey: In before all the extraverts who pop in to angrily say that introversion is just anxiety.

/kind of funny to see extraverts being defensive, that's definitely a last-couple-years new thing



Indeed, isn't it interesting how mad extraverts get at the notion that some people just don't want to interact with them!
They try so hard to convince others that that's a problem.
 
2013-08-27 06:02:47 PM

boozel: stevetherobot: No, being an introvert is not cool.

/Introvert
//Hate being an introvert

And this is how you tell the "real" Introverts from the hipster snowflakes that want to be like the Big Bang Theory crew.


bikkurikun: stevetherobot: No, being an introvert is not cool.

/Introvert
//Hate being an introvert

Maybe you should question whether you are actually an introvert, or just shy/have poor social skills or low self-esteem.


Well I'm glad we're all in agreement on this.
 
2013-08-27 06:11:11 PM

Skywolf Philosopher: meat0918: By gaining a label, you have a group you can identify with, and you don't feel as lonely.

You don't feel as lonely my ass. Not all labels are good labels, meat.



At first I thought the "meat" part was a reference to Bull Durham, and kudos were in order.
 
2013-08-27 06:21:55 PM
God, internet.  Will you shut the fark up about introverts?

Seriously.  This has gone much too far.  Just stop it.  It's like twice a day that I have to hear about introvert this or extrovert that.

If you think ANY aspect of human behavior can be mapped onto a single either/or binary, or even a sliding scale between only two poles, you're an idiot.

And this constant tactic of selling people on "are YOU this NEW AND EXCITING AND DIFFERENT type of person?  If you SAY YES to these fifteen easy things that apply to most people, YOU ARE NEW AND EXCITING AND DIFFERENT" needs to end.
 
2013-08-27 06:24:48 PM
Humanmetrics Jung Typology Test™


  You have strong preference of Introversion over Extraversion (100%)


I was a popular class clown until high school.  Puberty utterly destroyed me.

Oh well, whatever.  Someone give me a quarter.  I'll go downtown and find a suicide booth that cares.
 
2013-08-27 06:28:11 PM

boozel: stevetherobot: No, being an introvert is not cool.

/Introvert
//Hate being an introvert

And this is how you tell the "real" Introverts from the hipster snowflakes that want to be like the Big Bang Theory crew.

This is like when Geek went from being an unfortunate group to belong to, to being synonymous with "Liking Something a Lot" and dressing funny.

Also, fark the Big Bang Theory. That show is terrible in every way.


But the Big Bang Theory crew aren't introverts. Introverts wouldn't want to live together with other people and hang out with them everyday.

Being a geek/nerd doesn't equal being introverted, and neither does being shy or socially anxious equal being introverted.

These traits can occur simultaneously and reinforce each other, especially in kids (you're introverted, so you won't learn to socialize as easily, you will have other interests, so you will become shy or an outsider or have low self-esteem), but they are all different things.

An introvert is simply someone who prefers to do things on his own, has a limited need for social interaction, a limited need to share emotions with other people,  and doesn't feel the need to speak unless he feels he has something of value to add to the discussion.  Being introverted in itself, has nothing to do with unhappiness. An introvert can be perfectly happy being who he is.
 
2013-08-27 06:28:57 PM

Altitude5280: I want to kick extroverts in the face.


Yeah? Bring it.

This trendy introvert trend that's trending is super-annoying. Yeah yeah, you're all more "genuine" and "real" than I am because you're an introvert. Hey, you know what? We're both happier when you're buried in your book, so go do that and STFU already.

/I'm actually not as pissed off as that sounds. Oh well.
 
2013-08-27 06:32:50 PM
1. Be introvert
2. Study hard and get STEM degree
3. Make lots of money as engineer or something
4. Have plenty of money for DVDs, books, videogames, booze
5. Being an introvert, easily avoid life-ruining relationships such as marriage or having kids
5. Win at life.
 
2013-08-27 07:04:06 PM
#18 hit me in the gut. I've been told that quite a few times. That and variation like "What are you, 70?" so many times.
 
2013-08-27 07:51:47 PM

meat0918: baconbeard: Why is everyone so desperate to label themselves as being "something"?
Human nature.  No one wants to feel alone and ostracized.  Ostracization can make you do some funny things to be accepted....
By gaining a label, you have a group you can identify with, and you don't feel as lonely.


I thought that was why we joined Fark. I...I. thought you guys loved and accepted me. I thought......I thought I was part of a group finally. I thought we were pals. I even ponied up for TF. OH GOD I CAN NEVER FIT IN. I'm going to go live in a cave now. With my dog. Don't even try to contact me. I'm an introvert. I DON'T NEED YOU.
 
2013-08-27 08:01:26 PM
My list of ways you might be an introvert:
1) You don't write articles about it.
 
2013-08-27 09:11:14 PM

baconbeard: Why is everyone so desperate to label themselves as being "something"?


Attention? Need to be special?
 
2013-08-27 09:18:16 PM

corn-bread: aerojockey: In before all the extraverts who pop in to angrily say that introversion is just anxiety.

/kind of funny to see extraverts being defensive, that's definitely a last-couple-years new thing


Indeed, isn't it interesting how mad extraverts get at the notion that some people just don't want to interact with them!
They try so hard to convince others that that's a problem.


I have yet to see an extrovert give as crap. I suspect you're making that up.
 
2013-08-27 09:34:47 PM

addy2: Indeed, isn't it interesting how mad extraverts get at the notion that some people just don't want to interact with them!
They try so hard to convince others that that's a problem.
I have yet to see an extrovert give as crap. I suspect you're making that up.


Actually a lot of people, and I don't give a fark what kind of people they are, do get offended and take it very personally if you don't want to interact with them. Because your personality has nothing to do with it (like you might just be a quiet person), it's all about them. You could never convince them that your actions just might not have anything to do with them.
 
2013-08-27 09:38:33 PM
Actually, being an introvert really means that before you speak, what you're going to say doesn't go straight out your mouth, it meanders around your brain's memory centers first. This meandering makes it very difficult to answer things in the split second that the rest of the world seems to demand. Since typing online allows for a time span in which to reasonably answer, that's why the internet is an excellent leveling field for introverts.
 
2013-08-27 09:40:39 PM

cryinoutloud: addy2: Indeed, isn't it interesting how mad extraverts get at the notion that some people just don't want to interact with them!
They try so hard to convince others that that's a problem.
I have yet to see an extrovert give as crap. I suspect you're making that up.

Actually a lot of people, and I don't give a fark what kind of people they are, do get offended and take it very personally if you don't want to interact with them. Because your personality has nothing to do with it (like you might just be a quiet person), it's all about them. You could never convince them that your actions just might not have anything to do with them.


I've had other women think I was rude and unfriendly because I didn't want to exchange hugs and do the "you go gurl" rubbish. I'm sorry but it's just stupid.
 
2013-08-27 09:40:42 PM

cryinoutloud: addy2: Indeed, isn't it interesting how mad extraverts get at the notion that some people just don't want to interact with them!
They try so hard to convince others that that's a problem.
I have yet to see an extrovert give as crap. I suspect you're making that up.

Actually a lot of people, and I don't give a fark what kind of people they are, do get offended and take it very personally if you don't want to interact with them. Because your personality has nothing to do with it (like you might just be a quiet person), it's all about them. You could never convince them that your actions just might not have anything to do with them.


I've worked in offices, restaurants, customer service, support and have never seen anyone get upset that someone doesn't want to interact with them. I was also a shy teen and never saw that. Again, no one cares as much as you think they do.
 
2013-08-27 09:41:58 PM

cryinoutloud: addy2: Indeed, isn't it interesting how mad extraverts get at the notion that some people just don't want to interact with them!
They try so hard to convince others that that's a problem.
I have yet to see an extrovert give as crap. I suspect you're making that up.

Actually a lot of people, and I don't give a fark what kind of people they are, do get offended and take it very personally if you don't want to interact with them. Because your personality has nothing to do with it (like you might just be a quiet person), it's all about them. You could never convince them that your actions just might not have anything to do with them.


This, so much. Had a coworker who felt entitled to everyone's attention, and she set out to make me miserable because I didn't want to listen to her squawking all the time and would rather do my job. There are plenty of people out there like that, and we generally refer to them as attention whores.
 
2013-08-27 10:07:46 PM

Vector R: Actually, being an introvert really means that before you speak, what you're going to say doesn't go straight out your mouth, it meanders around your brain's memory centers first. This meandering makes it very difficult to answer things in the split second that the rest of the world seems to demand. Since typing online allows for a time span in which to reasonably answer, that's why the internet is an excellent leveling field for introverts.


Actually, I would think it tips the field in their favor.

That mental "meandering" is taking place because the introvert has more/better information to sift through. So, what they do end up saying tends to be more knowledgeable and better considered, on average.

Introverts have probably always held an advantage wherever communication was mostly done through writing (e.g., the arts and sciences). What the internet did is to create a whole new dimension to the social area, built squarely on the introvert's home turf.
 
2013-08-27 10:18:31 PM

corn-bread: aerojockey: In before all the extraverts who pop in to angrily say that introversion is just anxiety.

/kind of funny to see extraverts being defensive, that's definitely a last-couple-years new thing

Indeed, isn't it interesting how mad extraverts get at the notion that some people just don't want to interact with them!
They try so hard to convince others that that's a problem.


That's not what I meant.  I meant some extraverts are getting defensive about the fact that the public opinion (and money) seems to be swinging in the favor of introverts.  The most respected people these days aren't schmoozing CEOs and Wild On party animals, but hackers and engineers and even gamers.  Some of the more sensitive extraverts are now lashing out a world that they think turned against them.  It's kind of hilarious.  (And by "kind of" mean "really totally".)
 
2013-08-27 10:18:42 PM

Vector R: Actually, being an introvert really means that before you speak, what you're going to say doesn't go straight out your mouth, it meanders around your brain's memory centers first. This meandering makes it very difficult to answer things in the split second that the rest of the world seems to demand. Since typing online allows for a time span in which to reasonably answer, that's why the internet is an excellent leveling field for introverts.


I appreciate your post because as a typical "introvert" who feels fairly comfortable communicating on the internet, I like to see this dichotomy addressed.  That said, I don't think your theory really covers it.  It's kind of like saying you shoot basketballs really well when there's no clock. This is not better than or equal to being able to shoot well WITH a clock; it's objectively inferior.

We introverts like to point out the other end of the spectrum--the chatty overbearing annoying people who don't seem to filter their words--as validation of our behavior, while ignoring the decent-sized chunk of the populace that's capable of moderation.  I don't think any introvert should be forced to change their behavior and become more "normal," but I don't like the explanations that cast non-introverts as impulsive and inferior.  I do believe that more can be achieved in this world by being comfortable with and capable of both extrovert and introvert behavior, as many people are. It's not good or bad, it's just the way it is.  We can choose not to seek those benefits, but I don't think we can honestly say they don't exist.
 
2013-08-27 10:23:47 PM
By the way, I am saying this as someone who once considered himself a 5-sigma introvert, and now (once I took care of most of my social anxiety) am more like a 1-sigma introvert, and have had some bona fide changes of opinion.  Like for instance, I don't think "networking" is a plot by Satan to inflict pain and misery on the human race any more.
 
2013-08-27 10:36:20 PM
I have an admission to make. I strongly detest being around people. I Would rather poke out my eyes with an oscillating fan.

Which is funny. I work as a Health Care Aide (Certified Nursing Assistant, for you yanks) at the local hospital

I can wipe your grandma's ass, for twelve hours a day.  Just don't try and talk to me.
 
2013-08-27 10:55:52 PM
I would like to have sex with the woman in the photo very much.
 
2013-08-27 10:56:43 PM
For a good time, visit geekyintroverts.com and find out which wallflower has been waiting just for you.
 
2013-08-27 11:15:11 PM

Yankees Team Gynecologist: Vector R: Actually, being an introvert really means that before you speak, what you're going to say doesn't go straight out your mouth, it meanders around your brain's memory centers first. This meandering makes it very difficult to answer things in the split second that the rest of the world seems to demand. Since typing online allows for a time span in which to reasonably answer, that's why the internet is an excellent leveling field for introverts.

I appreciate your post because as a typical "introvert" who feels fairly comfortable communicating on the internet, I like to see this dichotomy addressed. That said, I don't think your theory really covers it. It's kind of like saying you shoot basketballs really well when there's no clock. This is not better than or equal to being able to shoot well WITH a clock; it's objectively inferior.


Eh -- who said both sides were shooting the ball equally well?
 
2013-08-27 11:24:38 PM

Bumblefark: Eh -- who said both sides were shooting the ball equally well?


When I split my post into two paragraphs, I specifically hesitated because I thought someone might (intentionally or unintentionally) ignore the second part and just run with flawed premise that all non-introverts are incapable of speed AND quality.  I shouldn't have doubted myself.
 
2013-08-27 11:46:36 PM

Yankees Team Gynecologist: Bumblefark: Eh -- who said both sides were shooting the ball equally well?

When I split my post into two paragraphs, I specifically hesitated because I thought someone might (intentionally or unintentionally)

ignore the second part and just run with flawed premise that all non-introverts are incapable of speed AND quality. I shouldn't have doubted myself.

Well, at the very least, you probably should have doubted your writing abilities. There's nothing in the second paragraph that obviously qualifies or extends the inapt metaphor in the first paragraph -- which simply reads, instead, as a passing retort to an earlier comment about group differences.

But, hey...I'll let you get back to it, Shakespeare.
 
2013-08-27 11:56:30 PM
Bumblefark: Well, at the very least, you probably should have doubted your writing abilities. There's nothing in the second paragraph that obviously qualifies or extends the inapt metaphor in the first paragraph -- which simply reads, instead, as a passing retort to an earlier comment about group differences.

But, hey...I'll let you get back to it, Shakespeare.
Yeah, but still.

It's a pretty simple and obvious concept, regardless of what I say. My post failed because it provided you the opportunity to do one more pointless lap with your intellectually dishonest premise.
 
2013-08-28 12:13:57 AM

Yankees Team Gynecologist: Bumblefark: Well, at the very least, you probably should have doubted your writing abilities. There's nothing in the second paragraph that obviously qualifies or extends the inapt metaphor in the first paragraph -- which simply reads, instead, as a passing retort to an earlier comment about group differences.

But, hey...I'll let you get back to it, Shakespeare.Yeah, but still.

It's a pretty simple and obvious concept, regardless of what I say. My post failed because it provided you the opportunity to do one more pointless lap with your intellectually dishonest premise.


No, nothing you've said is either simple or obvious. You offered up one muddled sports analogy, followed by some touchy-feely derp about everyone being awesome in his/her own way...or something. I admit you sort of lost me there. But, again, I just might not be accustomed to reading an author of such subtlety and nuance as yourself. *shrugs*

As for my "intellectually dishonest premise" -- still, not a clue what you're babbling about. I guess it might be a reference back to the "flawed premise that all non-introverts are incapable of speed AND quality." But, seeing as how I never said any such thing, and was actually just making fun of your metaphor, I'm not sure what that has to do with me.

But, hey -- scribble me up a sonnet or something, and I'll do my best to discern your artistic intentions.
 
2013-08-28 12:20:07 AM

Yankees Team Gynecologist: Vector R: Actually, being an introvert really means that before you speak, what you're going to say doesn't go straight out your mouth, it meanders around your brain's memory centers first. This meandering makes it very difficult to answer things in the split second that the rest of the world seems to demand. Since typing online allows for a time span in which to reasonably answer, that's why the internet is an excellent leveling field for introverts.

I appreciate your post because as a typical "introvert" who feels fairly comfortable communicating on the internet, I like to see this dichotomy addressed.  That said, I don't think your theory really covers it.  It's kind of like saying you shoot basketballs really well when there's no clock. This is not better than or equal to being able to shoot well WITH a clock; it's objectively inferior.

We introverts like to point out the other end of the spectrum--the chatty overbearing annoying people who don't seem to filter their words--as validation of our behavior, while ignoring the decent-sized chunk of the populace that's capable of moderation.  I don't think any introvert should be forced to change their behavior and become more "normal," but I don't like the explanations that cast non-introverts as impulsive and inferior.  I do believe that more can be achieved in this world by being comfortable with and capable of both extrovert and introvert behavior, as many people are. It's not good or bad, it's just the way it is.  We can choose not to seek those benefits, but I don't think we can honestly say they don't exist.


You also make a great point, and I will admit to being a bit biased in our favor. It just gets frustrating over time - I reached a point where I just don't contribute much unless the timing is just so. Education in particular is really created with extroverts in mind, from group work to calling on people in class (the bane of my existence, even today). I'll never forget last semester - I enjoy medical coding and want to get into that niche job market, but when the class reverted to shouting out answers, there's just no point. Granted, they were right about 75% of the time, but it was no less annoying, even though they probably enjoyed doing it that way. Online learning has made a tremendous difference, and I only wish it had been available when I was in grade school.

Both sides need to work to their own advantage as well as learn to deal with each other. I'm not sure if it will get better or worse - on the plus side, there's a lot more options when it comes to communication and even physically being in the workplace at all. On the minus side, the instant gratification can tie into the push towards getting an immediate answer.
 
2013-08-28 12:24:41 AM

Dafatone: God, internet.  Will you shut the fark up about introverts?

Seriously.  This has gone much too far.  Just stop it.  It's like twice a day that I have to hear about introvert this or extrovert that.

If you think ANY aspect of human behavior can be mapped onto a single either/or binary, or even a sliding scale between only two poles, you're an idiot.

And this constant tactic of selling people on "are YOU this NEW AND EXCITING AND DIFFERENT type of person?  If you SAY YES to these fifteen easy things that apply to most people, YOU ARE NEW AND EXCITING AND DIFFERENT" needs to end.


Yup... and people who tell the internet to shut up with lots of capital letters too.
 
2013-08-28 12:28:52 AM

Bumblefark: Vector R: Actually, being an introvert really means that before you speak, what you're going to say doesn't go straight out your mouth, it meanders around your brain's memory centers first. This meandering makes it very difficult to answer things in the split second that the rest of the world seems to demand. Since typing online allows for a time span in which to reasonably answer, that's why the internet is an excellent leveling field for introverts.

Actually, I would think it tips the field in their favor.

That mental "meandering" is taking place because the introvert has more/better information to sift through. So, what they do end up saying tends to be more knowledgeable and better considered, on average.

Introverts have probably always held an advantage wherever communication was mostly done through writing (e.g., the arts and sciences). What the internet did is to create a whole new dimension to the social area, built squarely on the introvert's home turf.


Nah, I figure it's even, since plenty of the basement dwellers are introverts who suddenly got a way to talk to the world and make us look bad. ;)

Seriously though, I very much agree, though it would be hubris to say the information is always better. Interestingly enough, Fark is one of those rare places online where extroverts do have a bit of an edge. Since a big point of the commenting is to get the funniest, snarkiest thing posted the fastest, there's still that same old "Dammit, I was gonna say that!" with the introvert lag. No fix for that though - extroverts have the speed while introverts have the details.
 
2013-08-28 12:30:35 AM

meat0918: baconbeard: Why is everyone so desperate to label themselves as being "something"?

Human nature.  No one wants to feel alone and ostracized.  Ostracization can make you do some funny things to be accepted....

By gaining a label, you have a group you can identify with, and you don't feel as lonely.


Thankfully I hear voices so I am never lonely.
 
2013-08-28 12:31:41 AM

ThrobblefootSpectre: Another thread where "introverts" come to volunteer intimate details and descriptions of themselves to millions of random strangers, and how it makes them more cool than everyone else?


Some introverts are alcoholics. They even have a website for them.
 
2013-08-28 12:47:57 AM

Vector R: Bumblefark: Vector R: Actually, being an introvert really means that before you speak, what you're going to say doesn't go straight out your mouth, it meanders around your brain's memory centers first. This meandering makes it very difficult to answer things in the split second that the rest of the world seems to demand. Since typing online allows for a time span in which to reasonably answer, that's why the internet is an excellent leveling field for introverts.

Actually, I would think it tips the field in their favor.

That mental "meandering" is taking place because the introvert has more/better information to sift through. So, what they do end up saying tends to be more knowledgeable and better considered, on average.

Introverts have probably always held an advantage wherever communication was mostly done through writing (e.g., the arts and sciences). What the internet did is to create a whole new dimension to the social area, built squarely on the introvert's home turf.

Nah, I figure it's even, since plenty of the basement dwellers are introverts who suddenly got a way to talk to the world and make us look bad. ;)

Seriously though, I very much agree, though it would be hubris to say the information is always better. Interestingly enough, Fark is one of those rare places online where extroverts do have a bit of an edge. Since a big point of the commenting is to get the funniest, snarkiest thing posted the fastest, there's still that same old "Dammit, I was gonna say that!" with the introvert lag. No fix for that though - extroverts have the speed while introverts have the details.


On the first point, yeah...touche.

But, the remark about information isn't hubris. That was actually an off-hand reference to the psychological research on introversion, at least as I remember it. The long and short of it is that, while introverts aren't really anymore intelligent (i.e., IQ), they do tend to process more and better information than extroverts. Which is just another way of affirming the conventional wisdom that introverts tend to be more observant and deliberative than extroverts.

...as for funny/smart, I dunno...I don't see a lot of self-proclaimed extroverts hanging around to trade snark in these "introvert/extrovert" threads, do you? I mean -- I take your point. But, at the same time, once you get past the competition to make all of the obvious jokes on a topic, seems to me the advantage swings back to the introverts.
 
2013-08-28 01:50:23 AM

bikkurikun: stevetherobot: No, being an introvert is not cool.

/Introvert
//Hate being an introvert

Maybe you should question whether you are actually an introvert, or just shy/have poor social skills or low self-esteem.

Being an introvert and being shy often go together, but they are actually two different things. The shyness and lack of confidence can be caused by being introverted, but unlike introvertedness which is a matter of personality, shyness can be overcome.  I am a pretty hardcore introvert and as a kid I was extremely shy as well as a result, but over the years I gained confidence and overcame my shyness. Alcohol, drugs, and farking drunk chicks with low esteem helped a lot to make the first steps though.

I have no trouble interacting with people anymore. However, there are limits.  For each evening doing something social, I need an evening of alone time.  And if I have a choice between going to party and staying at home, I rather stay at home. But then again, I am perfectly happy being alone at home, or doing things by myself.

It's all about finding a balance. Accept that you are an introvert,be confident about it. It doesn't mean that you a lesser being. It doesn't mean that you can't learn how to be social.(unless you are also autistic). I joined Toastmasters and am now a confident pubic speaker, and the better you get at techniques, the less tiresome it becomes.

I also believe that even introverts need some social interaction in order to stay human and keep in touch with the world. Sometimes I have to force myself to accept an invitation, but if I do so, often it turns out to be fun.  I've learned to be social while at work, and I am actually a great networker because of my broad interests, and as long as I counter it with enough recovery time alone. I am lucky to have a few good friends who know me, and don't mind if I don't do smalltalk much.

I am perfectly happy being introverted. If some wizard would offer me a chance to turn into an extrovert, I'd r ...


Out of curiosity, how do you tell the ones who are drunk AND have low self esteem apart from those with one or none?
 
2013-08-28 03:54:19 PM

JNowe: Is this going to be like when geeks became trendy and the fashionable people started wearing glasses and saying they were geeks?  Do we have any external indicators than can be made marketable?


Good computers and comfortable chairs?
 
2013-08-28 09:20:27 PM
I used to be an INTP but now I'm an ENTP
 
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