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(InfoWorld)   Ballmer 2.0: We can rebuild him. We have the means, we have the technology. We can make him bigger, fatter, angrier, louder   (akamai.infoworld.com) divider line 31
    More: Followup, Ballmer, Robert X. Cringely, Kara Swisher, Jonathan Ive, Microsoft, Infoworld  
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1585 clicks; posted to Geek » on 27 Aug 2013 at 9:15 AM (47 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



31 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-08-27 09:19:34 AM
Has anyone asked te DEVELOPERS, DEVELOPERS, DEVELOPERS?
 
2013-08-27 09:23:50 AM
Please let him take over EA. They deserve each other.
 
2013-08-27 09:29:28 AM
Ballmer 2.0's official name after release will be XBallOne.
 
2013-08-27 09:37:19 AM

Copperbelly watersnake: Please let him take over EA. They deserve each other.


If that could ultimately lead to development groups like Maxis getting out from under EA's ball sack I'm all for it.  Or Activision-Blizzard, both companies really need to be formally run into the ground so their IP can be looted by hopefully more deserving companies.
 
2013-08-27 09:49:48 AM
I've actually really enjoyed Microsoft products.   I switched over from Apple in 2002.  I ran through three iPods (including the dead-battery generation) and ditched them for a Zune.  Loved it.  I actually liked Windows.

Then I got a laptop with Windows 8.  Microsoft can EABOD and die.  Holy shiat that OS is a complete mess.  And they actually shut down other projects to focus on Windows 8?!  How the hell did they botch that so badly?
 
2013-08-27 09:52:28 AM
I thought he was going back to stage work.

i406.photobucket.com
 
2013-08-27 09:57:19 AM
He'd make a really really good loan shark.  Very scary.
 
2013-08-27 10:02:53 AM

FLMountainMan: Then I got a laptop with Windows 8.  Microsoft can EABOD and die.  Holy shiat that OS is a complete mess.  And they actually shut down other projects to focus on Windows 8?!  How the hell did they botch that so badly?


Here's the best way I can describe it:

I've worked in software for 23 years. I've used every interface you can think of. I'm a command-line commando; I've used every iteration of Windows (back to 1.0 in college), MacOS, SunWindows, Motif, Gnome, KDE, iOS, Android, and so forth. And I hate the Windows 8 interface with a passion, because to me it is utterly unintuitive and makes it difficult for me to do the things I need to do.

My 14-year-old daughter, OTOH, thinks that Windows 8 is awesome.

That tells me, more than any spec sheet or requirements doc ever could, what they were shooting for when they designed their interface, and why it is so frustrating to me. Because they were more interested in making it easy for teens to do what is important to them than in making it easy for adults to do the things that are important to us.
 
2013-08-27 10:08:14 AM
Good job, subby
 
2013-08-27 10:40:47 AM

Cybernetic: FLMountainMan: Then I got a laptop with Windows 8.  Microsoft can EABOD and die.  Holy shiat that OS is a complete mess.  And they actually shut down other projects to focus on Windows 8?!  How the hell did they botch that so badly?

Here's the best way I can describe it:

I've worked in software for 23 years. I've used every interface you can think of. I'm a command-line commando; I've used every iteration of Windows (back to 1.0 in college), MacOS, SunWindows, Motif, Gnome, KDE, iOS, Android, and so forth. And I hate the Windows 8 interface with a passion, because to me it is utterly unintuitive and makes it difficult for me to do the things I need to do.

My 14-year-old daughter, OTOH, thinks that Windows 8 is awesome.

That tells me, more than any spec sheet or requirements doc ever could, what they were shooting for when they designed their interface, and why it is so frustrating to me. Because they were more interested in making it easy for teens to do what is important to them than in making it easy for adults to do the things that are important to us.


Also easier for old people unfamiliar with previous interfaces. Something that I've noticed lately is that my expectations for lots of things are skewed by the contortions I had to go through with a previous product, and I've noticed that by watching people without those expectations.
 
2013-08-27 11:08:21 AM
Slashdot linked to a Vanity Fair article over the weekend that ended up being a really interesting read, even if it was a bit dated.  Actually, given how badly Windows 8 shiat the bed AFTER the article was published, it can be hilarious at times:

How Microsoft Lost its Mojo

Long story short, they did it to themselves and refused to see the failures piling up.
 
2013-08-27 11:21:35 AM
Can doesn't mean should.
 
2013-08-27 12:14:28 PM
I was recently hired to be the sole IT tech for a string of public libraries. Previously, these libraries relied on the county's IT techs and the county seat is quite a ways away, so it was REALLY inconvenient when an IT emergency popped up - hence, the creation of my position.

On my list of projects is upgrading the staff computers, which are currently HP Compaqs running Win XP and boasting a scorching 512MB of RAM. The library director was all about getting cutting-edge technology (mostly so that the upgraded machines will last the staff members a long time). I told her that there is no way I would allow a computer running Windows 8 onto my network.

So we'll be ordering computers running Windows 7 64 bit Pro with 4 gigs of RAM (expandable to 6 or 8, depending on which vendor the city lets us use).

/Fracking hate Windows 8 for everyday-use computers. It's a freakin' mobile browser and should stay on the mobile phones and tablets.
 
2013-08-27 12:15:42 PM

Aar1012: Has anyone asked te DEVELOPERS, DEVELOPERS, DEVELOPERS?


I'm still amazed he didn't have a heart attack during that speech.
 
2013-08-27 12:43:18 PM
Phones benefit from a very different interfaxe than do desktops. Just like you wouldn't put a linux command prompt on an iPhone, you shouldn't put metro on my non touch screen pc.

Why is this so farking hard to understand?
 
2013-08-27 01:06:08 PM

eyeq360: Ballmer 2.0's official name after release will be XBallOne.


I thought that was the Lance Armstrong game?
 
2013-08-27 01:23:59 PM

whither_apophis: eyeq360: Ballmer 2.0's official name after release will be XBallOne.
I thought that was the Lance Armstrong game?


It was supposed to be the Lance Armstrong game, but it was cancelled.  Something about real-life performance may not be as good as demonstration performance.
 
2013-08-27 01:32:51 PM

aevorea: Aar1012: Has anyone asked te DEVELOPERS, DEVELOPERS, DEVELOPERS?

I'm still amazed he didn't have a heart attack during that speech.


I'm amazed he hasn't had several heart attacks over the last twenty years, as he apparently regularly operates at that level of... uh, hyperactivity.
 
2013-08-27 01:38:41 PM

Cybernetic: Because they were more interested in making it easy for teens to do what is important to them than in making it easy for adults to do the things that are important to us.


There's one problem with that explanation: modularity. The Windows codebase has become extremely modular to the point that the entire GUI of a server install can be stripped or added on a whim. To pick on the most common complaint, there is no technical reason why they should have completely removed the start menu and replaced it exclusively with the start screen. Each could have easily been a feature to add or remove as each person saw fit. This, in fact, would have been the sensible way to go about 8 Professional and Server 2012.

I honestly think the only explanation is hubris. They decided they were going to break into the smartphone and tablet market, that they were going to "unify" their OS experience and that people were going to farking like it because Microsoft said so.

They've been acting like Apple, but they're too dumb to realize they don't enjoy even remotely the level of loyalty. Most people are using Microsoft products solely because of inertia. Push back hard enough against that and it will stop and people will switch to competing products.
 
2013-08-27 01:50:19 PM
I honestly think the only explanation is hubris. They decided they were going to break into the smartphone and tablet market, that they were going to "unify" their OS experience and that people were going to farking like it because Microsoft said so.

THIS
They forgot that the first step in software design is to get the customer's requirements. Instead they just made up what they thought the customer might want and rolled their own agenda into it.
 
2013-08-27 02:06:19 PM

skozlaw: I honestly think the only explanation is hubris


PainInTheASP's link above lays out the management philosophy that drove them into the ground.  Like many things in life, we can trace this one right back to the HR department.  Never listen to the HR department.  They are always wrong.

/oh and ballmer
 
2013-08-27 02:36:51 PM

Marcus Aurelius: Never listen to the HR department. They are always wrong.


You mean the person asking me what kind of tree I would be if I could be any tree during a network admin interview wasn't some sort of misunderstood genius? No. Freaking. Way.

/ HR, because somebody has to be dumb enough to hire the MBAs
// I'd be a rotted tree in your front yard just waiting to fall into your living room you nattering nitwit
 
2013-08-27 02:51:22 PM

Luse: Phones benefit from a very different interfaxe than do desktops. Just like you wouldn't put a linux command prompt on an iPhone, you shouldn't put metro on my non touch screen pc.


It sounds like you're implying that Metro is even a good touch interface to begin with, rather than a hastily slapped together mess.

Microsoft needs to learn the difference between a finished product and a beta. That's always been their biggest weakness.
 
2013-08-27 03:05:04 PM
Follow any of the advice in the headline and you're just making Mayor Crackhead v2.
 
2013-08-27 04:50:41 PM
2020 will really be the breaking point for Microsoft. If they haven't moved a good business replacement for Windows 7 by then (7 will go EOL) businesses will be forced to dump them or move to a competitor. They won't lose all of their OS business, but they'll lose enough that the company will probably be broken up. It'll be interesting to see if Mac OS, Chrome, or some other Linux dev will dominate after that. I highly doubt Win 8 will be gone, but it won't dominate the business market like XP or 7 has.

Looks like Microsoft is moving to be on the bottom of the bell curve.
 
2013-08-27 04:52:05 PM

MadMattressMack: 2020 will really be the breaking point for Microsoft. If they haven't moved a good business replacement for Windows 7 by then (7 will go EOL) businesses will be forced to dump them and move to a competitor or taken the training and productivity cost hit in moving to 8. They won't lose all of their OS business, but they'll lose enough that the company will probably be broken up. It'll be interesting to see if Mac OS, Chrome, or some other Linux dev will dominate after that. I highly doubt Win 8 will be gone, but it won't dominate the business market like XP or 7 has.

Looks like Microsoft is moving to be on the bottom of the bell curve.


FTFM
 
2013-08-27 05:58:06 PM

Cybernetic: FLMountainMan: Then I got a laptop with Windows 8.  Microsoft can EABOD and die.  Holy shiat that OS is a complete mess.  And they actually shut down other projects to focus on Windows 8?!  How the hell did they botch that so badly?

Here's the best way I can describe it:

I've worked in software for 23 years. I've used every interface you can think of. I'm a command-line commando; I've used every iteration of Windows (back to 1.0 in college), MacOS, SunWindows, Motif, Gnome, KDE, iOS, Android, and so forth. And I hate the Windows 8 interface with a passion, because to me it is utterly unintuitive and makes it difficult for me to do the things I need to do.

My 14-year-old daughter, OTOH, thinks that Windows 8 is awesome.

That tells me, more than any spec sheet or requirements doc ever could, what they were shooting for when they designed their interface, and why it is so frustrating to me. Because they were more interested in making it easy for teens to do what is important to them than in making it easy for adults to do the things that are important to us.


Then you know that Windows never was an OS. The path started with Win1 and then they derailed. Compare this to e.g. OS/2 and Motif.
Windows is just a view-port ("window") with supporting crappy to non-excisting OS functionality. It was lacking fundamental OS functions from the get-go and still is today (e.g. security, task/user isolation, memory management/reclaiming/swapping etc. etc. The list is very, very long). And they never understood the iNTEL architecture. They missed the train with 80286.....
MacroShiat has single-handedly held the OS development back for at least 20 years!
 
2013-08-27 06:07:17 PM
Windows 8 has barely changed the way I use my non-touch, desktop PC, if at all. I don't spend any more time on the Start screen than I did on the Start menu. It's amazing what you can do with the Windows key and Alt-Tab.

/ I think Ballmer's exit is a good thing.
// Dedication and enthusiasm are worthless when you're stuck in the past.
 
2013-08-27 08:34:12 PM

MadMattressMack: 2020 will really be the breaking point for Microsoft. If they haven't moved a good business replacement for Windows 7 by then (7 will go EOL) businesses will be forced to dump them or move to a competitor. They won't lose all of their OS business, but they'll lose enough that the company will probably be broken up. It'll be interesting to see if Mac OS, Chrome, or some other Linux dev will dominate after that. I highly doubt Win 8 will be gone, but it won't dominate the business market like XP or 7 has.

Looks like Microsoft is moving to be on the bottom of the bell curve.


*sigh* this argument is almost as tired as the "OMG PC GAMING IS DYING" that gets rehashed every console release.

Is Win8 bad? Nah, it actually works remarkably well for a tablet OS, it's phone version is top-notch and it's at least passable with a mouse and keyboard. Will it make such massive inroads in business as Win7 or WinXP? Not really, unless those businesses start switching over to tablets because they have a need (think medical facilities). Even then, most will use Windows 7 until the next round of Windows OS. No company is going to jump ship to Google, Linux or iOS, especially if they're strictly business. Linux will continue to be used in server farms and as background OS for major storage cloud-based companies. iOS will still be used in graphic design, journalism and other low-powered, non-tech savvy areas. Windows will still be dominant in a majority of businesses because it works, first and foremost, as a business operating system and it does that better than any other. Not only that, but machines that typically run Windows, tend to be high-powered machines and will perform high-powered tasks such as video-encoding or scientific calculations. To that end, Windows is perfect for that. It's simple to use (unlike Linux) and kicks the snot out of the iOS machine at the same price point. Oh, probably should mention that most programs run on Windows, and are made for Windows. iOS is great in that you don't have exploits but it's also a very locked down system so your library of programs is vastly smaller than those on Windows. Linux is the runt of the three when it comes to that. Though both are getting more cross-platform programs, most will run on Windows first and the others as an afterthought. Think of it as the inverse of the App market on the mobile phone OSes. iOS has everything, Android has most of the iOS library, and Win7/8 has probably half the library but most of it takes a year to get out after it has already made the rounds on iOS and Android.

face it, Windows is going to be a major operating system for a long long time. Microsoft isn't going anywhere and these are all the same arguments that come out after every major flop Microsoft has made and every single time, they prove them wrong. shiat ain't changing and you're a damn fool if you think Microsoft is really going down the shiatter in the next 20 years.
 
2013-08-28 01:13:27 AM

somedude210: MadMattressMack: 2020 will really be the breaking point for Microsoft. If they haven't moved a good business replacement for Windows 7 by then (7 will go EOL) businesses will be forced to dump them or move to a competitor. They won't lose all of their OS business, but they'll lose enough that the company will probably be broken up. It'll be interesting to see if Mac OS, Chrome, or some other Linux dev will dominate after that. I highly doubt Win 8 will be gone, but it won't dominate the business market like XP or 7 has.

Looks like Microsoft is moving to be on the bottom of the bell curve.

*sigh* this argument is almost as tired as the "OMG PC GAMING IS DYING" that gets rehashed every console release.

Is Win8 bad? Nah, it actually works remarkably well for a tablet OS, it's phone version is top-notch and it's at least passable with a mouse and keyboard. Will it make such massive inroads in business as Win7 or WinXP? Not really, unless those businesses start switching over to tablets because they have a need (think medical facilities). Even then, most will use Windows 7 until the next round of Windows OS. No company is going to jump ship to Google, Linux or iOS, especially if they're strictly business. Linux will continue to be used in server farms and as background OS for major storage cloud-based companies. iOS will still be used in graphic design, journalism and other low-powered, non-tech savvy areas. Windows will still be dominant in a majority of businesses because it works, first and foremost, as a business operating system and it does that better than any other. Not only that, but machines that typically run Windows, tend to be high-powered machines and will perform high-powered tasks such as video-encoding or scientific calculations. To that end, Windows is perfect for that. It's simple to use (unlike Linux) and kicks the snot out of the iOS machine at the same price point. Oh, probably should mention that most programs run on Windows, and are made for Win ...


Do I see MS being out of the tech space, of course not. I never said that and I don't see what you need to dress me down for thinking that way, because I don't. I'm saying they're not going to be as dominate as they've been in the OS market.

But I do see them bungling and when they do others are waiting to pick up the slack. As I'm not rolling 8 in my environment and MS' roadmap has 7 going EOL in 2020, what alternative is there?   With that every screw up is giving an in road to another player.  I've already got 4 OSX devices I have to deal with now. 2 because they were inherited with software, 2 because they are higher ups and I can't force them to get off of them. Add in a couple of Samsung Tab 2s for testing and there's already Mac and Droid in our house. 5  years ago neither of those were on the horizon. Now they're getting serious looks.

I'm saying if MS continues to make stupid mistakes then yes, it could be broken up. But I doubt that will happen. But these stupid releases are going to hurt their market share.
 
2013-08-28 01:15:38 AM
 
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