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(Daily Mail)   Plastic surgeon creates 'perfect wife' and then marries her. 'She was a total teardown - lips, nips, hips, and lips'   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 115
    More: Asinine, plastic surgeons  
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26481 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Aug 2013 at 2:11 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



115 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-08-26 11:27:02 PM  
How the hell did this guy keep his medical license?  There's a plastic surgeon in Des Moines who married one of his patients, a local TV reporter, and he came just this close to losing his license.  What saved him was that he waited a year after doing her boob job before dating her.
 
2013-08-26 11:44:28 PM  
i216.photobucket.com
 
2013-08-26 11:51:52 PM  
static.guim.co.uk
 
2013-08-27 12:04:41 AM  

Aulus: How the hell did this guy keep his medical license?


Those abs. How can you blame her for saying yes.
 
2013-08-27 12:42:32 AM  
Wait, for a minute here I thought this was just another recap of Nip/Tuck Season 1. Paging Dr. Christian Troy...
 
2013-08-27 01:52:16 AM  
Steinman:  Four-oh silk and ...done.

Nurse:  The nose looks terrific, Doctor Steinman ...Doctor?

Steinman:  You know, looking at her now... I didn't realize how much her face sags... Scalpel...

Nurse:  Excuse me?

Steinman:  Scalpel!

Nurse:  Uh, doctor, she's not booked for a face lift...

Steinman:  Let's just come in here and... *starts whistling*
Nurse:Doctor... Stop cutting... Doctor, stop cutting... Get me the chief of surgery! Get me the chief of surgery NOW!!!
 
2013-08-27 02:14:11 AM  
images2.wikia.nocookie.net
Gotta make it sexy!
 
2013-08-27 02:14:49 AM  
SOOO MUCH SILICON!! IT'S EVERYWHERE!!
 
2013-08-27 02:16:22 AM  
To be fair, she received far better results than most plastic surgery addicts.
 
2013-08-27 02:18:13 AM  
And yet, even if I didn't know she was fake, the trainer  in the background of the pics is still way hotter.
 
2013-08-27 02:19:28 AM  
I've seen that guy's abs somewhere else before . . .


tometheus.com
 
2013-08-27 02:20:02 AM  
He looks like he's had some work done as well.

I guess you could say they were... made for each other.

/YEEEAAAAAHHHHH!
 
2013-08-27 02:23:46 AM  
Approves:

www.mediabistro.com
 
2013-08-27 02:24:47 AM  
couldn't get rid of that crappy tattoo?
 
2013-08-27 02:24:49 AM  
Huh. Aren't most renos flipped?

emoryfx.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-08-27 02:25:07 AM  
images3.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-08-27 02:25:42 AM  
Isn't them being completely and totally fake and competing in fitness competitions akin to MLB players being roided up?
 
2013-08-27 02:26:54 AM  
People like this make me sick. "Oh, look--I have a perfect body!*"

*Thanks to plastic surgery, lipsuction, and putting all manner of crap in my body that probably isn't supposed to be there.

I hope they both get a horrible disease from the botulism injections--and botulism, too. Because that's what they deserve.
 
2013-08-27 02:27:19 AM  

log_jammin: Steinman:  Four-oh silk and ...done.

Nurse:  The nose looks terrific, Doctor Steinman ...Doctor?

Steinman:  You know, looking at her now... I didn't realize how much her face sags... Scalpel...

Nurse:  Excuse me?

Steinman:  Scalpel!

Nurse:  Uh, doctor, she's not booked for a face lift...

Steinman:  Let's just come in here and... *starts whistling*
Nurse:Doctor... Stop cutting... Doctor, stop cutting... Get me the chief of surgery! Get me the chief of surgery NOW!!!


When Picasso became bored of painting people, he started representing them as cubes and other abstract forms. The world called him a genius! I've spent my entire surgical career creating the same tired shapes, over and over again: the upturned nose, the cleft chin, the ample bosom. Wouldn't it be wonderful if I could do with a knife what that old Spaniard did with a brush?
 
2013-08-27 02:27:47 AM  
In my dreams,
You're all I sees,
Boobs, butt, and knees,
Be my main squeeze!
 
2013-08-27 02:27:52 AM  
Then there was this guy:
http://www.desmoinesregister.com/article/99999999/FAMOUSIOWANS/41217 02 5/Stallings-James

His wife, referenced in the article had serious facial injuries, including the loss of both lips.  He reconstructed them using tissue from the lining of her vagina.

The guy was a very talented surgeon but a total dick to deal with if you were not a patient.  I had occasion to have to deal with him a few times on insurance claims.  The guy charged a flat $100 fee for a one page medical report and that was in 1984 dollars.  Every insurance claims adjuster I knew back then hated his guts.
 
2013-08-27 02:31:59 AM  

OhioUGrad: Isn't them being completely and totally fake and competing in fitness competitions akin to MLB players being roided up?


That's what i was wondering. Seems a little unfair to have surgically sculpted abs.

The daughter seems to have a good attitude, and luckily the wife didn't go for the super fake looking generic face that all the chicks on real housewives of beverly hills have. The hubby sounds a Lil creepy and obsessive.
 
2013-08-27 02:33:45 AM  

farkingismybusiness: [408x306 from http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110716212736/itsalwayssunny/im ages/a/a1/Hips_and_Nips.png image 408x306]
Gotta make it sexy!


came for this, high five
 
2013-08-27 02:35:24 AM  
The whole Pygmalion aspect of this that subby invoked doesn't bother me so much.  As has been pointed out above, this woman is an addict and would have had that work done anyhow, probably at greater cost.  The part that made me cringe was the quote from the daughter/stepdaughter.

FTFA: "I would never want to get surgery, because it's not really you, like I want to be myself."

It can't be easy being 9 years old and sane in a house full of crazy.  Won't somebody please think of the children?!
 
2013-08-27 02:38:45 AM  
deadhomersociety.files.wordpress.com

You know, most faces need a little remodeling but this is a total teardown
 
2013-08-27 02:40:16 AM  
24.media.tumblr.com
She was hideous.

There's an old saying, a very, very old saying: "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder". When we leave here, when we go to the village, try to think of that, Miss Tyler. Say it over and over to yourself. "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder".
 
2013-08-27 02:49:38 AM  
We now have our Before pictures. See you all in a few years, when this injection molded tart looks like unfiltered ass, then we will have our After pics.
 
2013-08-27 02:52:20 AM  
People augment themselves every day, from eyeglasses, to corrective footwear and clothing for shaping bodies.   Yet people get freaked out about this.   We're not neanderthals anymore people - wake up, it's the 21st century.   All of you in your mid-20's or earlier, there will come a point where there's parts of your body you don't like -- and know they won't get better without external help; most of you farkers who are over 30 are just jealous because you have neither the money nor the expertise to do exactly what you want with your bodies.
 
2013-08-27 02:56:45 AM  
The thing about this is, I don't have any feeling of envy towards either of them. When I look at someone who day in and day out puts in the requisite work to have the real lean muscle, to have the actual strength and endurance, someone who is really healthy, then I feel envy. People who pay for things like fake abs and biceps don't interest me at all because none of it is real.

As a marathon runner, I'll never probably be as big or as cut as he is, but I feel infinitely more accomplished than either of them ever will. And I'm pretty ok with that, actually.
 
2013-08-27 02:57:19 AM  
In automotive terms: They've had 90% of their body cut out and bondo'd. Looks great, has a nice shine, but after a couple years, they'll hit a pothole or railroad track *just* the wrong way...and it'll all pop off, revealing all the hidden rust.
 
2013-08-27 02:59:08 AM  
He's a doc and that's the best he can do?  She must suck a mean dick
 
2013-08-27 03:01:02 AM  
www.wearysloth.com

/approves
 
2013-08-27 03:01:08 AM  
Hips
Tits
Lips

POWER!

/Slightly obscure?
 
2013-08-27 03:01:48 AM  
And if he created the perfect wife, why is her mouth not sewn shut?
 
2013-08-27 03:01:55 AM  
well he has a Lambo and what looks like a Maserati?

Even though it's not my dream Murcielago -- he's still doing better than me.   Best I've done in 2008 was get myself a spanking new 08 Z06.  Car was sex.

On the topic of his wife -- sure she's pretty hot for being older and having a kid and all that.  But as a sensible man if I tallied up all the money I spent to keep a woman like that around, he could have probably had 5 more Lambo's in the garage.
 
2013-08-27 03:04:22 AM  
'We have scales in the house, basically in the master bedroom,' he said.


Wow. He sounds like a real barrel of freakin' laughs.
 
2013-08-27 03:05:23 AM  

brobinson2001: In automotive terms: They've had 90% of their body cut out and bondo'd. Looks great, has a nice shine, but after a couple years, they'll hit a pothole or railroad track *just* the wrong way...and it'll all pop off, revealing all the hidden rust.


"I see he sold you on the 'Tijuana supremo' package."
 
2013-08-27 03:09:01 AM  
 "Veronica Matlock met her husband David when she went for vaginoplasty surgery after the birth of her daughter Isabella, now aged nine."


WTF
O_o
 
2013-08-27 03:10:15 AM  

brobinson2001: In automotive terms: They've had 90% of their body cut out and bondo'd. Looks great, has a nice shine, but after a couple years, they'll hit a pothole or railroad track *just* the wrong way...and it'll all pop off, revealing all the hidden rust.


Buddy backed into my door, on a 76 Camaro when I was a kid. He promised to fix it. We laid it on the driveway and poured 2 (maybe 3) GALLONS of Bondo into the void, after running some screws (deck screws) into the door and putting chicken wire around the screws. It was still hot after days. Sculpted it down perfect and Dupli-Color'd it, it looked great. Sold the car months later to what ended up being a neighbor of another buddy. Less than a week after he bought it, that whole chunk of bondo fell off in his driveway. It was still gooey inside.
 
2013-08-27 03:12:46 AM  

phrawgh: [400x302 from http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lx5gmsYVAk1qd745ko1_400.jpg image 400x302]
She was hideous.

There's an old saying, a very, very old saying: "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder". When we leave here, when we go to the village, try to think of that, Miss Tyler. Say it over and over to yourself. "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder".


Thank you
 
2013-08-27 03:14:24 AM  
Wasn't this the subplot in Godfather for Sonny's whore?
 
2013-08-27 03:16:22 AM  
Fark SoCal anyway. I mean, I know some great people there, even a few into the cult of The Body. But basically I feel the way I do about metro NY, where I know some great people, too: fark it. Fark it right in the ear.
 
2013-08-27 03:32:00 AM  
i.dailymail.co.uk

How long before her step-father thinks 'Hmmm, I need to fix that face'?

/what?!
 
2013-08-27 03:34:41 AM  
These people seem really nice and down to earth.
 
2013-08-27 03:37:35 AM  

gas giant: Hips
Tits
Lips

POWER!

/Slightly obscure?


No, a friend of mine used to have this shirt.
 
2013-08-27 03:40:45 AM  

Wyckyd Sceptre: [601x408 from http://i216.photobucket.com/albums/cc156/556308/taggart-hedley_lamarr. jpg image 601x408]


I was going for that reference, but then I realized that the second lips were a different pair of lips from the first lips.
 
2013-08-27 03:43:24 AM  
Hey Bruce Jenner--what's your opinion on this?

Oh...you can't give us a facial expression because your face is frozen like that? Too bad.
 
2013-08-27 03:56:10 AM  
Hey you farkers - what kind of cars are these?

i.dailymail.co.uk
 
2013-08-27 03:58:28 AM  
Am I reading this correctly? He sculpts his muscles by surgically depositing fat? Explains those abs I guess.
 
2013-08-27 03:59:18 AM  

skrame: Hey you farkers - what kind of cars are these?

[634x424 from http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/08/26/article-0-1B779CBD000005DC-7 85_634x424.jpg image 634x424]


Lambo left, Maserati right.
 
2013-08-27 04:04:05 AM  
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com
 
2013-08-27 04:06:18 AM  
FTFA:  And it is not just his wife who has gone under the knife in her own quest for physical perfection - Dr Matlock has himself undergone several procedures that utilise a fat-implant technique called Vaser High Def Liposculpting, which he pioneered.

Made up of live fat from the patient's body, the implants can be injected into the biceps, triceps, calves, or pecs to create a perfectly sculpted, muscular figure.



 He's liposucked out his own fat and re-injected into specific areas to give the appearance of musculature.  He's not muscular. He's well marbled.
 
2013-08-27 04:15:46 AM  
if they have kids he may be a complete asshat towards them if he has a image in his head of how they should look, act and what they need to accomplish.
 
2013-08-27 04:44:39 AM  
Why does his head look photoshopped onto his body in every pic?
 
2013-08-27 04:54:11 AM  

gas giant: Hips
Tits
Lips

POWER!

/Slightly obscure?


Pigface!
 
2013-08-27 05:01:04 AM  
You guys are just jealous cause you dont look good , like this guy
i1184.photobucket.com

you arent trying hard enough
 
2013-08-27 05:04:59 AM  
Meh, whatever......rich people problems. I say, goodluck with their plastic life. I'm perfectly happy with my 100% natural body. I wonder how they will feel about their looks in 20 years. I know I will be okay myself, just a little more grey in my hair.....maybe a few more wrinkles around my eyes.

/ and I will be okay with that.....
 
2013-08-27 05:05:51 AM  

The Muthaship: skrame: Hey you farkers - what kind of cars are these?

[634x424 from http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/08/26/article-0-1B779CBD000005DC-7 85_634x424.jpg image 634x424]

Lambo left, Maserati right.


Thank god, if either was a BMW I'd have to start agreeing with Fark on that issue.
 
2013-08-27 05:13:19 AM  
Galatea
 
2013-08-27 05:14:29 AM  

Kahabut: Thank god, if either was a BMW I'd have to start agreeing with Fark on that issue.


The BMW is probably in the other garage.
 
2013-08-27 05:19:38 AM  

The Muthaship: Kahabut: Thank god, if either was a BMW I'd have to start agreeing with Fark on that issue.

The BMW is probably in the other garage.


yeah, I'm sure it's not just a 2car garage.
 
2013-08-27 05:21:10 AM  

WeenerGord: FTFA:  And it is not just his wife who has gone under the knife in her own quest for physical perfection - Dr Matlock has himself undergone several procedures that utilise a fat-implant technique called Vaser High Def Liposculpting, which he pioneered.

Made up of live fat from the patient's body, the implants can be injected into the biceps, triceps, calves, or pecs to create a perfectly sculpted, muscular figure.


 He's liposucked out his own fat and re-injected into specific areas to give the appearance of musculature.   He's not muscular. He's well marbled.



Best and most appropriate description ever.
 
2013-08-27 05:37:23 AM  

skrame: Hey you farkers - what kind of cars are these?

[634x424 from http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/08/26/article-0-1B779CBD000005DC-7 85_634x424.jpg image 634x424]


a lambo and a maserati.

don't know which model.
 
2013-08-27 05:38:50 AM  

lindseyp: don't know which model.


Looks like a Gallardo and a Quattroporte.  Could be a Gran Turismo.....
 
2013-08-27 05:44:34 AM  

OhioUGrad: Isn't them being completely and totally fake and competing in fitness competitions akin to MLB players being roided up?




We expect more from those that move a ball around a field.
 
2013-08-27 05:48:15 AM  

phrawgh: [400x302 from http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lx5gmsYVAk1qd745ko1_400.jpg image 400x302]
She was hideous.

There's an old saying, a very, very old saying: "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder". When we leave here, when we go to the village, try to think of that, Miss Tyler. Say it over and over to yourself. "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder".




www.3dartistonline.com
 
2013-08-27 05:54:03 AM  
i1047.photobucket.com
 
2013-08-27 06:24:41 AM  
Narcissists.
 
2013-08-27 06:25:36 AM  
I can take a woman into any strip club in America and just go "give me her tits, her ass, her nose and her mouth" but you know what? You can't fix stupid.
 
2013-08-27 06:34:32 AM  

Aulus: Then there was this guy:
http://www.desmoinesregister.com/article/99999999/FAMOUSIOWANS/41217 02 5/Stallings-James

His wife, referenced in the article had serious facial injuries, including the loss of both lips.  He reconstructed them using tissue from the lining of her vagina.

The guy was a very talented surgeon but a total dick to deal with if you were not a patient.  I had occasion to have to deal with him a few times on insurance claims.  The guy charged a flat $100 fee for a one page medical report and that was in 1984 dollars.  Every insurance claims adjuster I knew back then hated his guts.


Sorry, dude...anybody who pisses off insurance guys is OK in my book.
 
2013-08-27 06:38:29 AM  

the_celt: "Veronica Matlock met her husband David when she went for vaginoplasty surgery after the birth of her daughter Isabella, now aged nine."

WTF
O_o


Afaik, that's actually not all that uncommon, at least the simple variety where they put in a stitch or so to tighten things back up again.

You know, after a small person has squeezed through...
 
2013-08-27 06:51:57 AM  
"Dr David Matlock met his bride Veronica, 38, in 2007 when she was 40lbs heavier and visited him seeking what is commonly known as 'designer vagina' surgery after giving birth to her daughter Isabella, "

sooo....... where is the man that farked her to make Isabella?  did this creepy fark steal her from him?

Must be awesome for the kid knowing that she wrecked moms vagina so bad that dad left her and the only man that would fark her only did it after fixing it.
 
2013-08-27 06:53:16 AM  
i.cdn.turner.com

Priya?
 
2013-08-27 06:55:43 AM  
She still looks pretty average. I mean, in great shape from working out, obviously, but nothing that screams "Look at all of this beauty I've gained from these multiple expensive surgeries".  I'd expect her to look...extraordinary.
 
2013-08-27 07:02:13 AM  

gadian: She still looks pretty average. I mean, in great shape from working out, obviously, but nothing that screams "Look at all of this beauty I've gained from these multiple expensive surgeries".  I'd expect her to look...extraordinary.


In fairness, before the surgery she was a 78-year-old Korean man.
 
2013-08-27 07:06:14 AM  

maram500: People like this make me sick. "Oh, look--I have a perfect body!*"

*Thanks to plastic surgery, lipsuction, and putting all manner of crap in my body that probably isn't supposed to be there.

I hope they both get a horrible disease from the botulism injections--and botulism, too. Because that's what they deserve.


Wow, why you full of hate?  Disagree with their choices all you want, but it's their farking life and body, and they can do whatever they want to it.  You wish them death??  Seriously??  Wow, you need some help man...
 
2013-08-27 07:15:02 AM  
www.slschofield.com
 
2013-08-27 07:16:15 AM  
It'll never stand up in court. He was married to his abs first.
 
2013-08-27 07:36:36 AM  

maram500: People like this make me sick. "Oh, look--I have a perfect body!*"

*Thanks to plastic surgery, lipsuction, and putting all manner of crap in my body that probably isn't supposed to be there.

I hope they both get a horrible disease from the botulism injections--and botulism, too. Because that's what they deserve.


This. Fark these vain, self-absorbed people. As a short woman, I struggle to keep my weight down and wear flattering clothes. I also color my hair and had a mole removed but I am nowhere near vain and self-deluded enough to think I need to (or even can) make myself "hot" with plastic surgery.
 
2013-08-27 07:46:42 AM  
I'm surprised someone who's been cosmetically "enhanced" is allowed to to compete in bodybuilding contests. I find that look disgusting, but those people do train really hard (which he apparently does but... fat implants. Ugh.)
 
2013-08-27 07:47:53 AM  
In 20 years these morons will be sagging frozen faced freaks.

He will and dump her and use his money to sugar daddy for some young thing. She will be a miserable unwanted disfigured mess.
 
2013-08-27 07:57:49 AM  
someone with more talent needs to flip the fresh prince song for this chick.
 
2013-08-27 08:18:05 AM  
brookedebetties.com
 
2013-08-27 08:30:55 AM  

Emposter: And yet, even if I didn't know she was fake, the trainer  in the background of the pics is still way hotter.


Looks like she has a set of bolt-ons as well.
 
2013-08-27 09:00:54 AM  
Someone needs to make a show like "Love it or List it", where one surgical team redesigns a mans wife, while another tries to lure him to a new wife entirely.
 
2013-08-27 09:02:29 AM  

Dwindle: Someone needs to make a show like "Love it or List it", where one surgical team redesigns a mans wife, while another tries to lure him to a new wife entirely.


I swear to all that is holy, if the right person sees that post, that show will happen.
 
2013-08-27 09:04:07 AM  
I think it's sweet when 2 people with matching dysmorphic disorders find each other.
 
2013-08-27 09:04:31 AM  
dvdmedia.ign.com
 
2013-08-27 09:08:49 AM  
Zydrate comes in a little glass vial.
 
2013-08-27 09:09:30 AM  
Why include a pic of the "snatchoplasty" equipment?
 
2013-08-27 09:23:10 AM  

bonobo73: People augment themselves every day, from eyeglasses, to corrective footwear and clothing for shaping bodies.   Yet people get freaked out about this.   We're not neanderthals anymore people - wake up, it's the 21st century.   All of you in your mid-20's or earlier, there will come a point where there's parts of your body you don't like -- and know they won't get better without external help; most of you farkers who are over 30 are just jealous because you have neither the money nor the expertise to do exactly what you want with your bodies.


Some people don't augment anything. As my hair grays and falls out, I just keep it clean and cut. No coloring, no combover, no transplants, or other illusions. As I fight an aging metabolism, I keep the gut away by eating right and exercising -- hard.

I don't think Spanx are any more appropriate than plastic surgery, but at least a woman can take them off. Glasses are not augmentation (for most people), and choosing attractive frames is no different than choosing attractive clothing. Getting dressed is not augmentation.

PunGent: Aulus: Then there was this guy:
http://www.desmoinesregister.com/article/99999999/FAMOUSIOWANS/41217 02 5/Stallings-James

His wife, referenced in the article had serious facial injuries, including the loss of both lips.  He reconstructed them using tissue from the lining of her vagina.

The guy was a very talented surgeon but a total dick to deal with if you were not a patient.  I had occasion to have to deal with him a few times on insurance claims.  The guy charged a flat $100 fee for a one page medical report and that was in 1984 dollars.  Every insurance claims adjuster I knew back then hated his guts.

Sorry, dude...anybody who pisses off insurance guys is OK in my book.


That's exactly what I was thinking. I was at an event with a UHC executive, and in a small group he said  "We are not in the healthcare payment business. We are in the premium collection business." I'm glad there are still people who do things for the joy it brings to themselves and to others, but this guy isn't one of them.
 
2013-08-27 09:40:55 AM  

maram500: People like this make me sick. "Oh, look--I have a perfect body!*"

*Thanks to plastic surgery, lipsuction, and putting all manner of crap in my body that probably isn't supposed to be there.

I hope they both get a horrible disease from the botulism injections--and botulism, too. Because that's what they deserve.


You sound fat.
 
2013-08-27 10:21:03 AM  
Carved up these too?

i.imgur.com
 
2013-08-27 10:27:03 AM  
Boy, all the fat and ugly farkers sure get sandy vaginas over this.
 
2013-08-27 10:44:18 AM  

The Muthaship: Lambo left, Maserati right.


lindseyp: a lambo and a maserati.


Thanks. I thought it was the Lambo (but wasn't positive), but had no clue about the Maserati.
 
2013-08-27 10:47:41 AM  

Dwindle: Someone needs to make a show like "Love it or List it", where one surgical team redesigns a mans wife, while another tries to lure him to a new wife entirely.


That. Is. Awesome.
 
2013-08-27 10:48:54 AM  
megadouchnozzle
 
2013-08-27 10:52:18 AM  

o'really: The daughter seems to have a good attitude


Indeed, she's a refreshing princess of Bel Air.
 
2013-08-27 11:54:46 AM  

waterrockets: bonobo73: People augment themselves every day, from eyeglasses, to corrective footwear and clothing for shaping bodies.   Yet people get freaked out about this.   We're not neanderthals anymore people - wake up, it's the 21st century.   All of you in your mid-20's or earlier, there will come a point where there's parts of your body you don't like -- and know they won't get better without external help; most of you farkers who are over 30 are just jealous because you have neither the money nor the expertise to do exactly what you want with your bodies.

Some people don't augment anything. As my hair grays and falls out, I just keep it clean and cut. No coloring, no combover, no transplants, or other illusions. As I fight an aging metabolism, I keep the gut away by eating right and exercising -- hard.

I don't think Spanx are any more appropriate than plastic surgery, but at least a woman can take them off. Glasses are not augmentation (for most people), and choosing attractive frames is no different than choosing attractive clothing. Getting dressed is not augmentation.


I agree with your sentiment, but don't feed the troll.  Bonobo73 is either a troll or he has one of the most appropriate fark handles ever.
 
2013-08-27 12:06:46 PM  
if those two ever have kids they'll probably come out in a Jell-o mold.
 
2013-08-27 12:16:09 PM  
 You said lips twice.


(i know it was over in one, but I came all the way here....)
 
2013-08-27 12:21:16 PM  
I thought the vagina was a magical piece of equipment, and that after child birth it went right back to its original state, and that only basement dwelling virgins thought that vaginas could be damaged by any kind of use.
 
2013-08-27 12:27:37 PM  

otaku69: I thought the vagina was a magical piece of equipment, and that after child birth it went right back to its original state, and that only basement dwelling virgins thought that vaginas could be damaged by any kind of use.


ummm..  no

they can definitely be "damaged" by use.
 
2013-08-27 12:53:02 PM  

denbroc: [240x260 from http://i.cdn.turner.com/v5cache/TBS/Images/Dynamic/i85/bbt_JohnnyGalec ki_240x260_071320110525.jpg image 240x260]

Priya?


That's kinda what I thought too.
 
2013-08-27 02:36:49 PM  
"Hundreds if not thousands of Americans die yearly because doctors are too lazy or egotistical to wash their hands, and nobody bats an eye...."

"...one surgeon marries a designer vagina recipient and everyone loses their minds."
 
2013-08-27 02:48:31 PM  

kvinesknows: otaku69: I thought the vagina was a magical piece of equipment, and that after child birth it went right back to its original state, and that only basement dwelling virgins thought that vaginas could be damaged by any kind of use.

ummm..  no

they can definitely be "damaged" by use.


Quite true. In fact, the very first use can cause tearing and bleeding.
 
2013-08-27 02:52:34 PM  
My mom is going to have to have botox injections in her bladder due to a failed bladder mesh,failed as in eroded into her bladder,so I'm getting kick out of these assholes botoxing their faces....
 
2013-08-27 03:03:37 PM  
img51.imageshack.us

The Company is glad that this couple's rebirth is going well. Would hate to have to reassign them.
 
2013-08-27 03:43:36 PM  
That article was extremely sad to read.  Essentially he "fell in love at first sight" with a woman who had such crushingly low self esteem that he knew he could completely control her right down to changing her appearance and mandating her diet and exercise routine for life.  When she gets too old to "fix" he's probably going to cheat on and/or beat her.  I shudder to think of the kinds of complexes her poor daughter is going to grow up with.

Made me feel way better about going out for lunch today.  I struggle with my weight but there are way worse ways to be broken.
 
2013-08-27 04:15:48 PM  

kvinesknows: "Dr David Matlock met his bride Veronica, 38, in 2007 when she was 40lbs heavier and visited him seeking what is commonly known as 'designer vagina' surgery after giving birth to her daughter Isabella, "

sooo....... where is the man that farked her to make Isabella?  did this creepy fark steal her from him?

Must be awesome for the kid knowing that she wrecked moms vagina so bad that dad left her and the only man that would fark her only did it after fixing it.


"Stewie: So, what happened sport? Come on, talk to your pal Stewie.
Brian: Alright, but only because I've gotta tell somebody. I pretty much just threw myself at Lois.
Stewie: So, you finally did it huh? Well look Brian, as your friend, I should tell you that that vagina is ground zero man. I mean I just wrecked that thing on the way out, and just to be a jerk, I carved "Brooks was here" in the wall. Did you see that? Did you see "Brooks was here."
Brian: We didn't have sex.
Stewie: Of course with Chris going before me I pretty much just walked outta there. Didn't even have to stoop over. There was even room to twirl a cane as I strolled.
Brian: You're exaggerating.
Stewie: Only a little bit! That's the messed up thing."

/relevant
 
2013-08-27 04:16:36 PM  
The first (or maybe third) rule of Fight Club is to recycle the liposuction fat.

"Go home/and check yourself/you think we're singing 'bout someone else?"  - FZ - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SVEqxSlaQ64
 
2013-08-27 04:27:55 PM  

tiamet4: That article was extremely sad to read.  Essentially he "fell in love at first sight" with a woman who had such crushingly low self esteem that he knew he could completely control her right down to changing her appearance and mandating her diet and exercise routine for life.  When she gets too old to "fix" he's probably going to cheat on and/or beat her.  I shudder to think of the kinds of complexes her poor daughter is going to grow up with.

Made me feel way better about going out for lunch today.  I struggle with my weight but there are way worse ways to be broken.


Now that's going way out of your way to justify one cheesesburger....
 
2013-08-27 04:46:18 PM  

The Muthaship: tiamet4: That article was extremely sad to read.  Essentially he "fell in love at first sight" with a woman who had such crushingly low self esteem that he knew he could completely control her right down to changing her appearance and mandating her diet and exercise routine for life.  When she gets too old to "fix" he's probably going to cheat on and/or beat her.  I shudder to think of the kinds of complexes her poor daughter is going to grow up with.

Made me feel way better about going out for lunch today.  I struggle with my weight but there are way worse ways to be broken.

Now that's going way out of your way to justify one cheesesburger....


Nah, the 5 mile run I'm going to try to squeeze in after work is.

I'm just feeling some schadenfreud at having a husband who told me to sleep in with him this morning instead of running and who'll boink me even though I had that cheeseburger (though he'll be annoyed that I didn't get him one too).
 
2013-08-27 05:28:19 PM  

oohpah: Galatea


Came here for this. Leaving satisfied, . . . with faith that some still appreciate the classics.
 
2013-08-27 10:12:52 PM  

tiamet4: When she gets too old to "fix" he's probably going to cheat on and/or beat her.



Can't expect a guy like him to wait that long.
 
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