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(Washington Post)   Jews worried about monopoly on the afterlife   (washingtonpost.com) divider line 131
    More: Interesting, Jewish, Greater Washington, Jewish leaders  
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8740 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Aug 2013 at 10:02 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-08-26 01:09:26 PM  

Hobodeluxe: mbillips: Oh, yeah, SCI is EEEvull. I've joined a memorial society; they contract with a crematory to provide cremation for a few hundred bucks, and cut the funeral homes out of the loop.

sounds like a plan.


I contacted a teaching hospital, and donated the whole enchilada to 'em. Who knows where I'll end up physically...

With the body gone, my family and friends can get on with the partying, as there's extra money to spend.

I can't believe people still wanna take up space on this crowded planet when they pass on.
 
2013-08-26 01:11:17 PM  

Mikeyworld: I contacted a teaching hospital, and donated the whole enchilada to 'em. Who knows where I'll end up physically...

With the body gone, my family and friends can get on with the partying, as there's extra money to spend.

I can't believe people still wanna take up space on this crowded planet when they pass on.


This. Your body, donated to a medical or teaching institution, can help Doctors, Nurses, RTs and Paramedics hone skills that can save countless lives, and give life-enhancing and limb-saving surgeries and medical techniques to thousands of other people.
 
2013-08-26 01:15:49 PM  
Is this cheap enough?
s2.postimg.org
 
2013-08-26 01:20:29 PM  

NostroZ: The whole idolatry of the body is forbidden in both Judaism and Islam, yet go to a Catholic church and you'll see graven images all over the place.


Well Constantine needs some way to get everyone on board with this Jesus thing.
 
2013-08-26 01:23:32 PM  
So, really, what the Jewish community of the DC area is worried about is that their monopoly discount relationship with one funeral provider will be affected by fair market practices, and they'll have to pay normal prices. Just like everyone else.  Or, they'll have to re-negotiate, and probably won't get as sweet a deal.

The horror.
 
2013-08-26 01:25:32 PM  

NostroZ: If you were not in with his family, you were not part of sitting shiva... since they are the one's affected the most by the passing of a family member, they are the one's who are the center of this ritual.


One of my favorite lines from a movie.

"Why are the mirrors covered?"
"So we don't see the pain on our faces."
"And why are we sitting on boxes?"
"To make sure there's pain on our faces."
 
2013-08-26 01:26:34 PM  

cameroncrazy1984: mbillips: cameroncrazy1984: NostroZ: Because if you may realize, there's OTHER PEOPLE involved in your life... people who may not wish to do beer bongs at your funeral...

Not to start an argument, but who cares about what they want during YOUR funeral?

Ah screw you, you're dead; it's not like you're gonna know what's happening. Funerals are for the living.

/I want to be cremated, loaded into a five-inch shell, and fired from a destroyer over the Atlantic. Now, THAT's a burial at sea.
//Separate memorial wake with lots of booze.

Funerals are meant to be a celebration of the deceased's life. Fark your selfishness.


Who's being selfish? You want to control people AFTER YOU'RE DEAD, and they're the selfish ones?
 
2013-08-26 01:28:21 PM  

Zavulon: Plant Rights Activist: How hard is it to have someone build a pine box?  Don't they have any carpenters?

Well, they had one once...


//window seat please


None that were any good at pulling nails.
 
2013-08-26 01:50:37 PM  
I don't understand, if the new owners do not to honor the agreement then just find another funeral home. Why would you want the government to force them into a contract? That will only cause them to hate you and send clowns to all your funerals. It shouldn't be hard to find another one, or if you have enough people just make your own.
 
2013-08-26 01:51:46 PM  

NostroZ: Jewish funerals is one of the reasons I am proud to be Jewish.

The body is buried quickly (within 24 hours).
There is a very defined set of grieving rituals for the surviving family members.
It's done in a respectable fashion (vs. parading around the dead like a marionette).


Yes, we understand you are superior to all other people.
 
2013-08-26 02:01:26 PM  

Thisbymaster: I don't understand, if the new owners do not to honor the agreement then just find another funeral home. Why would you want the government to force them into a contract? That will only cause them to hate you and send clowns to all your funerals. It shouldn't be hard to find another one, or if you have enough people just make your own.


RTFA. ALL U.S. funeral homes are being bought up by two mega-corporations, whose corporate policy is to gouge the living shiat out of their customers, and to avoid each other's territory to preserve monopoly pricing. The worry is that there WON'T be any competition to go to for a lower price.

Of course, there are alternatives to funeral homes; they could just form a burial co-op and do it themselves. But complaining is part of the process.
 
2013-08-26 02:03:06 PM  

NostroZ: Quiet the opposite... you are not allowed to speak to the affected family members unless they speak to you first... so as to avoid the unnecessary burden of having to 'entertain' people, as each one comes up and pays their condolence.


Sort of. You don't GREET the mourners with a hearty back-slap and a "Morty! Long time, what's the haps?", but you absolutely do speak to them. There may be some archaic rule about not addressing people until they address you (also a sign of respect, BTW), but in the myriad shiva homes I've been in people don't really observe the "no greeting" rule either. Maybe in the more hardcore places, it's enforced.

NostroZ: WhoopAssWayne: NostroZ: The body is buried quickly (within 24 hours).

Well, that actually clears up a lot. We had a Jewish neighbor die last winter and everyone in the hood was a bit put off because there was no visitation, memorial service, or anything like that. I'd know the guy my entire life, worked with him on community projects, volunteer fire dept, etc, and then he was just gone without any ceremony or anything. It still feels very strange.

Sorry to hear that man.

If you were not in with his family, you were not part of sitting shiva... since they are the one's affected the most by the passing of a family member, they are the one's who are the center of this ritual.


Shiva is only OBSERVED by close family members (parents, siblings, children, spouse), but anyone is welcome to pay respects to the house. There's a custom to leave the door open (also because the mourners can't greet people; see above) for that very reason. As a matter of fact, in some sad cases, they actually invite people to shiva houses to make a quorum of 10 for prayer services.

Broktun: Is the tearing of garments still in play?


Should be. That goes for the top layer of any clothing worn by the mourners (parents, siblings, children, spouse) over the week, beginning with the clothing worn when the mourner first hears the news. My grandfather had a jacket that I absolutely loved (it's how I picture him from my childhood) that he was wearing when my grandmother died.

flemardo: Them getting a discount fixed price means goyim get to shoulder the cost.


There may be a difference in the cost of services/materials as well. Jews get buried in unpainted wooden boxes. Many others get buried in ornate coffins made with stone pieces, perhaps metal rails, with fabric linings and if there's a viewing, the cost of dressing/making up the deceased.
 
2013-08-26 02:07:44 PM  

maxx2112: So I go to the funeral home the day after my father-in-law dies, and I met everyone in the funeral director's office.

He goes out to check on something, and I look around and see a book on a binder on his desk that says "JEWISH PRICE LIST."

"I wonder what that's all about?"  I ask no one in particular.

My brother in law chimes in, "what do you think they call the non Jewish prices?

Without batting an eye:  "Retail."

/ I'll be here all week


You'd figure they'd have a Facebook page by now. Enjoy the earworm.
http://myspace.com/livejews/music/song/beggin-for-a-bargain-49486876
 
2013-08-26 02:08:20 PM  

cptjeff: That's not just the Jewish community. That's all of DC.


well yes, but with the Jewish community, outside of Silver Spring, you don't have many 2nd or 3rd generations so people return home to die I presume
 
2013-08-26 02:19:10 PM  

Mikeyworld: Hobodeluxe: mbillips: Oh, yeah, SCI is EEEvull. I've joined a memorial society; they contract with a crematory to provide cremation for a few hundred bucks, and cut the funeral homes out of the loop.

sounds like a plan.

I contacted a teaching hospital, and donated the whole enchilada to 'em. Who knows where I'll end up physically...

With the body gone, my family and friends can get on with the partying, as there's extra money to spend.

I can't believe people still wanna take up space on this crowded planet when they pass on.


yeah what do I care about my body after I pass? If I had my way I'd send it to Africa and let the cannibals have a BBQ.
 
2013-08-26 02:25:11 PM  

specialkae: I think that the Jewish people have it right.  Isn't it bad enough when you lose someone?  Just to have a funeral home come in and take advantage of the bereaved?  I had an interest in becoming a Funeral Director until I experienced the loss of 2 parents in 4 years and saw how they treated the living out of supposed "respect" for the dead.  Costs should be minimal not exorbitant.  Same thing i think about weddings, though so YMMV.



With weddings you can just go down to City Hall or elope to Vegas.  Is there an option like that for funerals?
 
2013-08-26 02:45:13 PM  

MagicBus


With weddings you can just go down to City Hall or elope to Vegas. Is there an option like that for funerals?


You could probably go to Las Vegas* and kick a made guy in the beanbag and urinate on him while he's down. Your body will never be found and it won't cost you a penny.


(Information may be dated. Please substitute NY or NJ as required.)
 
2013-08-26 02:54:42 PM  
"Jewish afterlife": isn't that a trick statement?  I thought Jews don't believe in an afterlife, but they do have to observe the Commandments in this life, or they get a beat-down from the Assyrians or Babylonians.

RE the price hikes: not surprising, given how the relatively cash-flush Boomers are shortly going to enter the Invisible Choir pipeline.
 
2013-08-26 03:16:13 PM  

hardinparamedic: Your body, donated to a medical or teaching institution, can help Doctors, Nurses, RTs and Paramedics hone skills that can save countless lives, and give life-enhancing and limb-saving surgeries and medical techniques to thousands of other people.


Or you can be the centerpiece for some gruesomely amusing pranks!
 
2013-08-26 03:20:56 PM  

mbillips: cameroncrazy1984: mbillips: cameroncrazy1984: NostroZ: Because if you may realize, there's OTHER PEOPLE involved in your life... people who may not wish to do beer bongs at your funeral...

Not to start an argument, but who cares about what they want during YOUR funeral?

Ah screw you, you're dead; it's not like you're gonna know what's happening. Funerals are for the living.

/I want to be cremated, loaded into a five-inch shell, and fired from a destroyer over the Atlantic. Now, THAT's a burial at sea.
//Separate memorial wake with lots of booze.

Funerals are meant to be a celebration of the deceased's life. Fark your selfishness.

Who's being selfish? You want to control people AFTER YOU'RE DEAD, and they're the selfish ones?


Anyone I've pissed off, slagged, embarrassed or insulted is welcome to urinate on my corpse if it makes them feel better.

It'll only hasten the process, really. Eat a bunch of seeds and take a dump on the body. Even more productive.

/It is only an empty shell now. Please treat it as such.
 
2013-08-26 03:23:35 PM  

Therion: hardinparamedic: Your body, donated to a medical or teaching institution, can help Doctors, Nurses, RTs and Paramedics hone skills that can save countless lives, and give life-enhancing and limb-saving surgeries and medical techniques to thousands of other people.

Or you can be the centerpiece for some gruesomely amusing pranks!


Hey, give a show when you go. Leave 'em laughing, I say.
 
2013-08-26 03:29:49 PM  

Therion: hardinparamedic: Your body, donated to a medical or teaching institution, can help Doctors, Nurses, RTs and Paramedics hone skills that can save countless lives, and give life-enhancing and limb-saving surgeries and medical techniques to thousands of other people.

Or you can be the centerpiece for some gruesomely amusing pranks!


WTF would you care. You ain't using it. I hope to test jet windows...who needs a chicken?
 
2013-08-26 03:44:20 PM  
I didn't say that being the centerpiece for some gruesomely amusing pranks was a negative thing.

(wants a viking funeral in armor, or to be entombed sitting on a throne at the bottom of a lake that goes dry every century or so)
 
2013-08-26 04:09:02 PM  

hardinparamedic: NostroZ: Jewish funerals is one of the reasons I am proud to be Jewish.

The body is buried quickly (within 24 hours).
There is a very defined set of grieving rituals for the surviving family members.
It's done in a respectable fashion (vs. parading around the dead like a marionette).

Do they do the chair dance there too?


No the chairs are tiny and you wear socks.
 
2013-08-26 04:50:43 PM  
i40.tinypic.com
 
2013-08-26 05:02:14 PM  
i40.tinypic.com
 
2013-08-26 05:05:06 PM  
i42.tinypic.com
 
2013-08-26 06:19:18 PM  

mjjt: [692x900 from http://i42.tinypic.com/op5pco.jpg image 692x900]


Christ, what an asshole.

On another topic, best prank ever: according to Erroll Flynn, some of John Barrymore Sr.'s friends , purloined Barrymore's body from the mortuary on the day he died and brought it to Flynn's house. They sat him up in a chair and put a drink in his hand, and Flynn screamed like a little girl when he came home drunk.
 
2013-08-26 09:40:10 PM  

MagicBus: specialkae: I think that the Jewish people have it right.  Isn't it bad enough when you lose someone?  Just to have a funeral home come in and take advantage of the bereaved?  I had an interest in becoming a Funeral Director until I experienced the loss of 2 parents in 4 years and saw how they treated the living out of supposed "respect" for the dead.  Costs should be minimal not exorbitant.  Same thing i think about weddings, though so YMMV.


With weddings you can just go down to City Hall or elope to Vegas.  Is there an option like that for funerals?


No. Over $3k for no casket, cremation, remains in a steel can, and a military/national cemetery plot/niche. That's as close to an eloping in Vegas funeral as you can get.

I love my father dearly, it's what he wanted- no frills, but I about strangled my uncle when he told me what he had fronted for the services.
 
2013-08-26 11:12:28 PM  

hardinparamedic: NostroZ: Quiet the opposite... you are not allowed to speak to the affected family members unless they speak to you first... so as to avoid the unnecessary burden of having to 'entertain' people, as each one comes up and pays their condolence.

That's horrible.

You know what? I want my funeral to have beer, and strippers, and blackjack.

And I want there to be fireworks. And everyone telling everyone what an asshole I was.

And I want everyone to pay .25 cents for a solo cup at the door.


In fact, forget the funeral!
 
2013-08-27 12:00:52 PM  
mjjt - I presume the olde Ferguson was a devout follower of Flying Spaghetti Monster.  Maybe the pirates are later in the service.
 
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