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(Hartford Courant)   81-year-old man trying to ambush raccoon sneezes and shoots himself. Surprisingly, not Florida   (courant.com) divider line 23
    More: Strange  
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2479 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Aug 2013 at 8:31 AM (48 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



23 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-08-26 08:32:50 AM
*ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED*
 
2013-08-26 08:34:31 AM
I am trying not to laugh at this but failing. I am a miserable human being. Lambaste me as you will, I feel like shiat and I am going to chortle.
 
2013-08-26 08:38:33 AM
Ah....AHHH.....AHHHCHOOOOOBOOOOOOM!

if his gun only had a gun to defend him with...
 
2013-08-26 08:39:29 AM
How is this guy not living in Florida?
 
2013-08-26 08:39:47 AM

Police said it was then he realized he had accidentally shot himself in the shin.

Pace's son drove him to the hospital for treatment. His injuries are non-life threatening, police said.


It's a miracle he missed all of those vital organs in the shinnal region.
 
2013-08-26 08:41:04 AM
Gun accidents are nothing to sneeze at.
 
2013-08-26 08:41:57 AM
That's what they WANT you to think.  The animals have learned to use guns and they are invisible to finger print and DNA identification.  The animal revolution is coming.  4 legs good, 2 legs bad!
 
2013-08-26 08:43:29 AM
splashpage.mtv.com

If you don't take up arms against raccoons, only raccoons will be armed.
 
2013-08-26 09:07:43 AM
Didn't he learn from Marvin's roommate in Pulp Fiction that you don't try to ambush coons?
 
2013-08-26 09:07:46 AM
images.cryhavok.org

Yes. It appears, he accidentally shot himself. What an unfortunate accident.
 
2013-08-26 09:08:16 AM
I must be tired. It took me too long to parse this headline.

"81 year old man trying to ambush raccoon sneezes"

... how do you ambush raccoon sneezes?

/old man yells at cloud
 
2013-08-26 09:16:27 AM

fallingblox: ... how do you ambush raccoon sneezes?


This.
 
2013-08-26 09:25:23 AM
Next time use a bedpost.
i291.photobucket.com
 
2013-08-26 09:28:47 AM
Ready for a rodent, not ready for a nap.

img.fark.net

/swiped from a guardians of the galaxy thread
 
2013-08-26 09:39:52 AM
thehker.files.wordpress.com

'bout the right age, too.
 
2013-08-26 09:50:09 AM
I hate raccoons. I've chased off black bears, rattlesnakes, and many a mangy dog with naught but a cold stare and a firm step.

But when I tried that on a 12-lb raccoon the size of a basketball, the cursed thing charged me and chased me down the street, up the stairs, and scratched up my hastily barred front door.

No time in my life have I ever wished more that I had a baseball bat, or even a broomstick.
 
2013-08-26 10:01:26 AM

duenor: up the stairs, and scratched up my hastily barred front door.


He knows where you live, now.
 
2013-08-26 10:10:15 AM
I came home from work one day (in Florida, mind you) and was greeted by a raccoon stumbling down the street.  Displaying classic signs of rabies.  So I kept an eye on it while alerting nearby neighbors.  It eventually disappeared into a wooded area.  If I owned a gun, I would have shot it.

And I later found out that the best thing to do in that situation in an urban area to call the cops.  Not animal control; and no, not the wildlife rescue people or the health department.  The cops have guns - bang, bang, shoot, shoot.
 
2013-08-26 11:25:41 AM
Keep your booger picker off the boom switch dumb arse!
 
2013-08-26 12:29:47 PM
Serves him right
 
2013-08-26 01:25:14 PM
His next scheme is to paint a tunnel on the side of a cliff and chase the raccoon into it.
 
2013-08-26 05:21:58 PM

hillbillypharmacist: Next time use a bedpost.
[480x360 from http://i291.photobucket.com/albums/ll307/hillbillypharmacist/internetl ol/illustration.jpg image 480x360]


That is a rather veiny bedpost.

/Does not look like a bedpost
 
2013-08-26 09:19:15 PM
I've had problems with raccoons getting into the cat's food and water.
It's an urban area, so there are raccoons and opossums all around.

I have an air powered pellet rifle that I bought back about 1974-75 that I dug out and picked up pellets for it earlier this week.
I figured I'd give some of the varmints a sore hide and they'd move on to easier pickings.

However, Sunday night while I was sitting on the porch, sacrificing the fatted cigar while the cat sat on the porch steps...
three raccoons came walking up. The lead raccoon took a swipe at the cat and snapped his jaws at him.
He was in an ugly mood.
Naturally, the cat ran off like the brave cat that he is.
The lead raccoon then came up the steps, saw me and instead of leaving, he started coming toward me
snarling his little raccoon snarl trying to intimidate me.
He'd already pissed me off by farking with my cat friend, now he was farking with *me*.
Not a good career move, even if you *are* the ranking raccoon of the mob!

He was less than three feet away from me, when he felt a 5mm pellet enter his snarling little head at several hundred feet per second.
That took the fight right out of him and the other two racoons decided to go somewhere else.
(Maybe a costume party or trick-or-treating since they had masks on)
It's amazing what a little pellet can do when properly applied in a situation like this.
I haven't killed anything ('cept mice or mosquitos) in over 30 years.
Mr. Snarley McPointyteeth pissed me off by farking with my cat buddy.
Don't fark with my cat buddy!

Being the troublemaker that I am, I packed him up in a plastic bag and dumped him out
in a trashcan at a local gas station. Whoever changed the trash can liners Monday morning found a surprise.
To add to the surreal nature of the endeavor, on the way back I had a 'possum walk right in front of my van.
Sunday wasn't a very lucky day to be a varmint around me.

img.fark.net
 
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