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(Sydney Morning Herald)   Dundead   (smh.com.au) divider line 96
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16739 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Aug 2013 at 2:41 PM (48 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-08-25 03:49:27 PM
Saw a rather impressive croc in Kakadu a couple of years ago, it was playing with the head of a 500 pound wild boar it had just eaten a couple of days ago, just massive in size.
 
2013-08-25 03:55:52 PM
Ah, the eternal struggle of IT professional vs crocodile
 
2013-08-25 03:56:02 PM

hej: Buggar: So if you are from Darwin and you die, does your life only serve to be the punchline of an internet joke?

If you die in an act of enormous stupidity, yes.


Ab so farkin lutely
 
2013-08-25 04:00:31 PM

Canton: Gyrfalcon: Was alcohol involved?

Nah, he just decided to go for a swim, and commune with the local reptiles. Become one with them, if you will...

img442.imageshack.us
 
2013-08-25 04:06:46 PM
 
GBB [TotalFark]
2013-08-25 04:11:11 PM
HairBolus:
While a 15 meter croc is big I don't think it is large enough to swallow a human whole. Also I don't think dragging the river will dislodge a body if a croc has it firmly wedged underwater to let it ripen. I can't find info on crocodilians actually swallowing full grown humans but still the whole shoot it and cut it open seems rather pointless.

3.bp.blogspot.com

Here's one that's reported at only 5.5m.  Now imagine it about 3 times longer, then tell me what you think.
 
2013-08-25 04:14:10 PM
From the BBC story:

"Sergeant Geoff Bahnert is quoted as saying by the AP news agency 'The Mary River is known worldwide to have the greatest saturation of adult saltwater crocodiles in the world. You don't swim in the Mary River'.

You don't swim in the Mary River.

You don't swim in the Mary River.

You don't swim in the Mary River.


I went fishing for barramundi in Kakadu when we were there (didn't catch any) and even I knew that I should only be fishing from a VERY high river bank, and not stay in the same place for too long.
 
2013-08-25 04:16:58 PM

GBB: HairBolus:
While a 15 meter croc is big I don't think it is large enough to swallow a human whole. Also I don't think dragging the river will dislodge a body if a croc has it firmly wedged underwater to let it ripen. I can't find info on crocodilians actually swallowing full grown humans but still the whole shoot it and cut it open seems rather pointless.

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 400x225]

Here's one that's reported at only 5.5m.  Now imagine it about 3 times longer, then tell me what you think.


That croc seems to be missing a right arm.
 
2013-08-25 04:19:52 PM
urbanislandz.com
RIP Sean Cole
 
2013-08-25 04:20:02 PM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Anastacya: The Hutt: The circumstances read like a hoax.

Someone's never seen the show "I Survived". Croc attacks are somewhat common. Especially amongst groups of 20-30 something guys drinking booze and generally trying to show off. One kid in Florida decided to jump in a creek in the middle of the night to swim to the other shore; a croc came out and feasted on his arm. He lived, but the usual booze + bravado = derp is pretty on the mark here.

A Croc? In a creek in FL? That's farking amazing.


Jesus, gator. I realized right after I posted I screwed up and knew that I'd be a victim of pedantry (even if I did legitimately post the wrong thing and didn't fix it because I had more important things to do). Oh well, shame on me.

/bad, bad Zeus
 
2013-08-25 04:20:44 PM
Please do not swim in the water, it's dangerous."
"FARK YOU, ITS ME MATES BIRTHDAY! LULZ" *dives in* "HEY GAIZ, YOLO!"
"Sir, you really shouldn't get into the water."
"HAHA, IM IN THE WATER NOW MATE! RELAX A LITTLE! STOP TRYING TO SPOIL THE FU-"omonononomonom.
 
2013-08-25 04:26:34 PM
Maaaan, that's a rough way to go.
 
2013-08-25 04:30:52 PM

GBB: HairBolus:
While a 15 meter croc is big I don't think it is large enough to swallow a human whole. Also I don't think dragging the river will dislodge a body if a croc has it firmly wedged underwater to let it ripen. I can't find info on crocodilians actually swallowing full grown humans but still the whole shoot it and cut it open seems rather pointless.



Here's one that's reported at only 5.5m.  Now imagine it about 3 times longer, then tell me what you think.


I would like to see a 15 meter (50 ft) croc, just not up close. Lot bigger than the 5 meter croc in TFA.
 
2013-08-25 04:36:17 PM

HairBolus: While a 15 meter croc is big


Ummmm ... the article is talking about a 5 meter croc, not 15.  Modern era crocs don't get to be anywhere near 15 meters long.  Fifteen meters is almost 50 ft.  Even the so-called 'King of the prehistoric crocodiles' - the Sarcosuchus - only got to a length of around 40 ft.
 
2013-08-25 04:36:31 PM

Bslim: Maaaan, that's a rough way to go.




Great story, if there is an afterlife. We are talking eternity here. I figure it would come up once in a while.
 
2013-08-25 04:40:16 PM

Anastacya: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Anastacya: The Hutt: The circumstances read like a hoax.

Someone's never seen the show "I Survived". Croc attacks are somewhat common. Especially amongst groups of 20-30 something guys drinking booze and generally trying to show off. One kid in Florida decided to jump in a creek in the middle of the night to swim to the other shore; a croc came out and feasted on his arm. He lived, but the usual booze + bravado = derp is pretty on the mark here.

A Croc? In a creek in FL? That's farking amazing.

Jesus, gator. I realized right after I posted I screwed up and knew that I'd be a victim of pedantry (even if I did legitimately post the wrong thing and didn't fix it because I had more important things to do). Oh well, shame on me.

/bad, bad Zeus




Zeus was a slut.
 
2013-08-25 04:42:04 PM

kimwim: GBB: HairBolus:
While a 15 meter croc is big I don't think it is large enough to swallow a human whole. Also I don't think dragging the river will dislodge a body if a croc has it firmly wedged underwater to let it ripen. I can't find info on crocodilians actually swallowing full grown humans but still the whole shoot it and cut it open seems rather pointless.

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 400x225]

Here's one that's reported at only 5.5m.  Now imagine it about 3 times longer, then tell me what you think.

That croc seems to be missing a right arm.


Croc like that you don't eat all at once.
 
GBB [TotalFark]
2013-08-25 04:42:41 PM

Nick Nostril: GBB: HairBolus:
While a 15 meter croc is big I don't think it is large enough to swallow a human whole. Also I don't think dragging the river will dislodge a body if a croc has it firmly wedged underwater to let it ripen. I can't find info on crocodilians actually swallowing full grown humans but still the whole shoot it and cut it open seems rather pointless.

Here's one that's reported at only 5.5m.  Now imagine it about 3 times longer, then tell me what you think.

I would like to see a 15 meter (50 ft) croc, just not up close. Lot bigger than the 5 meter croc in TFA.


Ah, well, there's the problem.  Journalists and units.
 
2013-08-25 04:45:34 PM

Pert: You don't swim in the Mary River.

You don't swim in the Mary River.

You don't swim in the Mary River.


Also not recommended: tugging on Superman's cape, spitting into the wind, messing around with Jim.

/it's a stretch, but it scans if you pause in the right places
 
2013-08-25 04:48:01 PM

GBB: HairBolus:
While a 15 meter croc is big I don't think it is large enough to swallow a human whole. Also I don't think dragging the river will dislodge a body if a croc has it firmly wedged underwater to let it ripen. I can't find info on crocodilians actually swallowing full grown humans but still the whole shoot it and cut it open seems rather pointless.

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 400x225]

Here's one that's reported at only 5.5m.  Now imagine it about 3 times longer, then tell me what you think.


Umm, I made a typo of either "15" for "5" or "meter" for "foot".

I still haven't found an account of a croc swallowing an adult human. This article, Largest Known Crocodile Could Swallow a Human, about one that "may have exceeded 27 feet" and lived 2-4 million years ago implies that current crocs can't swallow humans.
 ,

images.sciencedaily.com
 
2013-08-25 04:53:18 PM

Bondith: Croc like that you don't eat all at once.


No, the CROC is missing an arm.
 
2013-08-25 05:00:01 PM
It's a croc eat croc world out there, lemme tell ya..

s17.postimg.org
 
2013-08-25 05:00:43 PM
static.euronews.com

So maybe this is a bad idea?
 
2013-08-25 05:14:16 PM

FloydA: A five-metre crocodile was waiting for Mr Cole, in his 20s, an IT worker from Darwin.

Some cities are appropriately named.


Yeah. Subby missed a golden opportunity there.
 
2013-08-25 05:15:24 PM

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: [static.euronews.com image 850x592]

So maybe this is a bad idea?


No, that's fine. It's a bullfrog and not 15 metres long.
 
2013-08-25 05:18:01 PM

StoPPeRmobile: Anastacya: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Anastacya: The Hutt: The circumstances read like a hoax.

Someone's never seen the show "I Survived". Croc attacks are somewhat common. Especially amongst groups of 20-30 something guys drinking booze and generally trying to show off. One kid in Florida decided to jump in a creek in the middle of the night to swim to the other shore; a croc came out and feasted on his arm. He lived, but the usual booze + bravado = derp is pretty on the mark here.

A Croc? In a creek in FL? That's farking amazing.

Jesus, gator. I realized right after I posted I screwed up and knew that I'd be a victim of pedantry (even if I did legitimately post the wrong thing and didn't fix it because I had more important things to do). Oh well, shame on me.

/bad, bad Zeus

Zeus was a slut.


Naughty, naughty Zeus.
 
2013-08-25 05:20:48 PM
This is horrible!!! Tragic!!! To think that you people would sit here and make light of such a thing! And he died so young...

They ignored the signs and verbal warnings from staff at the Mary River Wilderness Retreat and Caravan Park: this is no place to swim.

... -_-

Carry on.
 
2013-08-25 05:40:34 PM

bugmn99: Anastacya: The Hutt: The circumstances read like a hoax.

Someone's never seen the show "I Survived". Croc attacks are somewhat common. Especially amongst groups of 20-30 something guys drinking booze and generally trying to show off. One kid in Florida decided to jump in a creek in the middle of the night to swim to the other shore; a croc came out and feasted on his arm. He lived, but the usual booze + bravado = derp is pretty on the mark here.

How did the crocodile end up in Florida?


American Crocodiles exist. Very endangered. Not as aggressive as other crocs though.

They are making a decent comeback in the warm waters coming from a nuclear plant's cooling system.
 
2013-08-25 05:45:49 PM
FLAWLESS

i651.photobucket.com

Victory.
 
2013-08-25 06:04:10 PM

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: Ah, the eternal struggle of IT professional vs crocodile


And a perfect exhibit of a Fatal Error.
 
2013-08-25 06:06:01 PM

KidneyStone: bugmn99: Anastacya: The Hutt: The circumstances read like a hoax.

Someone's never seen the show "I Survived". Croc attacks are somewhat common. Especially amongst groups of 20-30 something guys drinking booze and generally trying to show off. One kid in Florida decided to jump in a creek in the middle of the night to swim to the other shore; a croc came out and feasted on his arm. He lived, but the usual booze + bravado = derp is pretty on the mark here.

How did the crocodile end up in Florida?

American Crocodiles exist. Very endangered. Not as aggressive as other crocs though.

They are making a decent comeback in the warm waters coming from a nuclear plant's cooling system.


Nuclear crocodiles, just one more reason to stay away from Florida.
 
2013-08-25 06:28:49 PM

Lars The Canadian Viking: KidneyStone: bugmn99: Anastacya: The Hutt: The circumstances read like a hoax.

Someone's never seen the show "I Survived". Croc attacks are somewhat common. Especially amongst groups of 20-30 something guys drinking booze and generally trying to show off. One kid in Florida decided to jump in a creek in the middle of the night to swim to the other shore; a croc came out and feasted on his arm. He lived, but the usual booze + bravado = derp is pretty on the mark here.

How did the crocodile end up in Florida?

American Crocodiles exist. Very endangered. Not as aggressive as other crocs though.

They are making a decent comeback in the warm waters coming from a nuclear plant's cooling system.

Nuclear crocodiles, just one more reason to stay away from Florida.




Yes, please, stay the fark out!

It's too hot for you pussies anyway.

/go climate change
 
2013-08-25 06:44:17 PM

Buggar: So if you are from Darwin and you die, does your life only serve to be the punchline of an internet joke?


Only among easily-amused Americans who have never heard of the place.

/it's one of eight capital cities in Australia
 
2013-08-25 06:55:22 PM
If only Darwin, California were as well known.
 
2013-08-25 07:07:30 PM

zvoidx: veedeevadeevoodee: [www.rizzotees.com image 479x480]

[i.imgur.com image 375x384]


Oh Laaaaawdy!  Oooh-oh oh!
Volare! Oooh oh oh!
 
2013-08-25 07:08:35 PM

zvoidx: veedeevadeevoodee: [www.rizzotees.com image 479x480]

[i.imgur.com image 375x384]


img.movieberry.com

/Didn't upload first time
//Fark IMBD
 
2013-08-25 07:36:43 PM

Day_Old_Dutchie: It's a croc eat croc world out there, lemme tell ya..

[s17.postimg.org image 640x360]


tick tock tick tock tick tock
 
2013-08-25 08:26:24 PM

hoots_toot_ochaye: HairBolus: While a 15 meter croc is big

Ummmm ... the article is talking about a 5 meter croc, not 15.  Modern era crocs don't get to be anywhere near 15 meters long.  Fifteen meters is almost 50 ft.  Even the so-called 'King of the prehistoric crocodiles' - the Sarcosuchus - only got to a length of around 40 ft.


I don't wanna talk to a scientist. Y'all motherfarkers lying, and getting me pissed.

-Shaggy2Dope
 
2013-08-25 08:30:35 PM
Ah, Australia.  The continent where almost every animal is (intelligently?) designed to kill you.
 
2013-08-25 08:38:05 PM

spamdog: Buggar: So if you are from Darwin and you die, does your life only serve to be the punchline of an internet joke?

Only among easily-amused Americans who have never heard of the place.

/it's one of eight capital cities in Australia


Most Americans have heard of Darwin. I think so at least.
 
2013-08-25 10:19:16 PM

ArkPanda: Can we get a "farking retarded" tag?


There's already a "Florida" tag.
 
2013-08-25 11:47:00 PM

spamdog: Buggar: So if you are from Darwin and you die, does your life only serve to be the punchline of an internet joke?

Only among easily-amused Americans who have never heard of the place.

/it's one of eight capital cities in Australia


Yes. Yes. And who the Fark cares.
 
2013-08-25 11:49:46 PM
♫ It's my party and I'll die if I want to, die if I want to ♫
 
2013-08-26 12:16:54 AM
Csb.
A group of my friends went to mexico for a vacation on the rivera maya. One of my wife's (now ex) friends who is a surgeon wanted to go swimming in the ocean at midnight with black flags flying.
I tried to explain to him the myriad dangers of this and that I wasn't going to let his stupidity ruin everyone's vacation. After two hours of talking, begging and pleading I finally had to use the theat of fource. I told him if you are going to the hospital or morgue tonight I'm going to be the one who put you there.
 
2013-08-26 08:07:15 AM

HairBolus: GBB: HairBolus:
While a 15 meter croc is big I don't think it is large enough to swallow a human whole. Also I don't think dragging the river will dislodge a body if a croc has it firmly wedged underwater to let it ripen. I can't find info on crocodilians actually swallowing full grown humans but still the whole shoot it and cut it open seems rather pointless.

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 400x225]

Here's one that's reported at only 5.5m.  Now imagine it about 3 times longer, then tell me what you think.

Umm, I made a typo of either "15" for "5" or "meter" for "foot".

I still haven't found an account of a croc swallowing an adult human. This article, Largest Known Crocodile Could Swallow a Human, about one that "may have exceeded 27 feet" and lived 2-4 million years ago implies that current crocs can't swallow humans.
 ,

[images.sciencedaily.com image 300x86]


Why does the croc need to swallow him whole? I'm sure a 5.5M croc could sufficiently make a human disappear one bite at a time.
 
2013-08-26 03:30:52 PM

italie: Why does the croc need to swallow him whole? I'm sure a 5.5M croc could sufficiently make a human disappear one bite at a time.


If you had bothered to read my above comment, crocs can't bite fresh prey into pieces. If they can't swallow prey whole, they have to let it rot for a while so they can eat it.
 
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