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(Sydney Morning Herald)   Dundead   (smh.com.au) divider line 96
    More: Scary  
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16739 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Aug 2013 at 2:41 PM (51 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-08-25 11:39:16 AM
Damn you Subs, I thought this was aboot Paul Hogan.
 
2013-08-25 11:47:59 AM
Can't fix stupid or dead....
 
2013-08-25 11:50:38 AM
www.macroevolution.net

Approves
 
2013-08-25 12:03:44 PM
i49.tinypic.com
 
2013-08-25 01:35:00 PM
A five-metre crocodile was waiting for Mr Cole, in his 20s, an IT worker from Darwin.

Some cities are appropriately named.
 
2013-08-25 02:02:20 PM
A man from Darwin, is Darwined.  Is this like rain on your wedding day?
 
2013-08-25 02:30:33 PM
images.smh.com.au

As reported by Grand Moff Dobby.
 
2013-08-25 02:38:50 PM
i.imgur.com

"But nothing's predictable in this tough, harsh, highly competitive world where today's champion is tomorrow's crocodile shiat. And back to you, in the studio, Norman!"
 
2013-08-25 02:43:18 PM
FTFA: ''When you get here, you are told there are crocs, that the river is full of them. Don't swim. Stay at least five metres back from the river. If people follow that advice, it is entirely safe.

That is about 16 1/2 feet for Yankees like me. Its not just about swimming, its also about not walking next to the river--because people just walking along the banks also get eaten in a flash. Was warned about that quite a bit last time I was in Queensland.
 
2013-08-25 02:43:50 PM

FloydA: A five-metre crocodile was waiting for Mr Cole, in his 20s, an IT worker from Darwin.

Some cities are appropriately named.


Of all the countries they could have put a city called Darwin, they had to choose Australia.
 
2013-08-25 02:44:32 PM
I am surprised the boater didn't get killed by a stingray.

i108.photobucket.com
 
2013-08-25 02:47:51 PM
I'm glad they at-least shot that one random croc to satisfy the blood demand
 
2013-08-25 02:49:54 PM
Was alcohol involved?
 
2013-08-25 02:50:42 PM

Gyrfalcon: Was alcohol involved?


Magic Eight Ball says.....  You Bet You Ass
 
2013-08-25 02:51:00 PM
...Mr Cole, in his 20s, an IT worker from Darwin...

4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-08-25 02:51:50 PM

Gyrfalcon: Was alcohol involved?


Nah, he just decided to go for a swim, and commune with the local reptiles. Become one with them, if you will...
 
2013-08-25 02:51:57 PM
Yes, that sounds like a delightful place to have a 30th party..
 
2013-08-25 02:52:05 PM
"Police shot a large crocodile lurking nearby - unlikely to be the one involved in the attack - to ensure the territorial reptile did not endanger searchers. When people are taken in billabongs, police sometimes shoot a croc so it can be cut open to search for the victim."


Morons like this not only get themselves killed, but some of the animals as well.
 
2013-08-25 02:52:39 PM
His friends watched helplessly from the bank as the crocodile grabbed him between its jaws and dragged him under the surface of the muddy river about 4pm on Saturday. He hasn't been seen since.

No shiat.
 
2013-08-25 02:53:18 PM

2wolves: Gyrfalcon: Was alcohol involved?

Magic Eight Ball says.....  You Bet You Ass


t0.gstatic.com
 
2013-08-25 02:56:22 PM
They were doin' the Crocodile Roll,
The moron and the reptile,
Doin' the Crocodile Roll
In the middle of the river.

/chomp
 
2013-08-25 02:56:53 PM

Chinchillazilla: His friends watched helplessly from the bank as the crocodile grabbed him between its jaws and dragged him under the surface of the muddy river about 4pm on Saturday. He hasn't been seen by humans since.

No shiat.


I imagine he is visible, to some degree, if you're a fish with an interest in bones.
 
2013-08-25 02:58:45 PM
Why are people posting pictures of Darwin?  He never said, "only the smart shall survive".    Hell, great white sharks, and these very crocs have been around some 200 million years and they're probably dumb as shiat.
 
2013-08-25 02:59:20 PM
Proof that technical knowhow cannot compensate for drunkenness and a lack of common sense.
 
2013-08-25 03:01:43 PM
A) this wasn't far from the town of Humpty Doo
B) Can you picture that drive home? Wow that would suck to get your family together for your death.
 
2013-08-25 03:02:56 PM

T.rex: Why are people posting pictures of Darwin?  He never said, "only the smart shall survive".    Hell, great white sharks, and these very crocs have been around some 200 million years and they're probably dumb as shiat.


1) Dude was from Darwin.
2) Sure, but the thing about crocs and sharks is that they are fit in other ways. As humans, we are relatively weak, small, unarmored, clawless, fangless... The only thing we have going for us is intelligence. Toss that out and you're just a snack.
 
2013-08-25 03:04:01 PM
The circumstances read like a hoax.
 
2013-08-25 03:04:49 PM
I can just hear him now, 'it's my birthday, and i'm gonna do whatever i waaaant!'
 
2013-08-25 03:07:16 PM

T.rex: Why are people posting pictures of Darwin?  He never said, "only the smart shall survive".    Hell, great white sharks, and these very crocs have been around some 200 million years and they're probably dumb as shiat.


"It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but rather the one most adaptable to change." - Misattributed to Darwin.

Still applies here, as the fellow from TFA failed to adapt to the change in state from not being eaten by a crocodile to being eaten by a crocodile.  He could've grown poisonous spines or a thick carapace, but he didn't.  Ipso facto, pictures of Darwin.
 
2013-08-25 03:07:20 PM
i.somethingawful.com
 
2013-08-25 03:07:37 PM

The Hutt: The circumstances read like a hoax.


Someone's never seen the show "I Survived". Croc attacks are somewhat common. Especially amongst groups of 20-30 something guys drinking booze and generally trying to show off. One kid in Florida decided to jump in a creek in the middle of the night to swim to the other shore; a croc came out and feasted on his arm. He lived, but the usual booze + bravado = derp is pretty on the mark here.
 
2013-08-25 03:08:03 PM
A five-metre crocodile was waiting for Mr Cole, in his 20s, an IT worker from Darwin.

Anyone mention that yet?
 
2013-08-25 03:09:13 PM

T.rex: Why are people posting pictures of Darwin?  He never said, "only the smart shall survive".    Hell, great white sharks, and these very crocs have been around some 200 million years and they're probably dumb as shiat.


Survival of the Fittest.  Fittest doesn't just mean good muscle tone it means all of the traits and characteristics that make an animal what it is.  Included in this is decision making ability.  Looks like there were many different indications that what he was doing was foolish and dangerous and he ignored them all.  His friend made it out alive but he did not, random chance and natural selection in action working together.  As I recall someone had a theory about that...thus the pictures.
 
hej
2013-08-25 03:10:31 PM

StoPPeRmobile: A five-metre crocodile was waiting for Mr Cole, in his 20s, an IT worker from Darwin.

Anyone mention that yet?


I came here to do it, and damnit, I'm still going to.

TFA: A five-metre crocodile was waiting for Mr Cole, in his 20s, an IT worker from Darwin.

Good find, subbs.
 
2013-08-25 03:12:53 PM
"His mate made it safely back to the bank, where his friends had gathered for the birthday party at the resort, halfway between Darwin and Kakadu National Park"

I'd say it was closer to Darwin Park.

/Darwin
 
2013-08-25 03:15:01 PM

Anastacya: The Hutt: The circumstances read like a hoax.

Someone's never seen the show "I Survived". Croc attacks are somewhat common. Especially amongst groups of 20-30 something guys drinking booze and generally trying to show off. One kid in Florida decided to jump in a creek in the middle of the night to swim to the other shore; a croc came out and feasted on his arm. He lived, but the usual booze + bravado = derp is pretty on the mark here.


How did the crocodile end up in Florida?
 
2013-08-25 03:15:25 PM

Anastacya: The Hutt: The circumstances read like a hoax.

Someone's never seen the show "I Survived". Croc attacks are somewhat common. Especially amongst groups of 20-30 something guys drinking booze and generally trying to show off. One kid in Florida decided to jump in a creek in the middle of the night to swim to the other shore; a croc came out and feasted on his arm. He lived, but the usual booze + bravado = derp is pretty on the mark here.


A Croc? In a creek in FL? That's farking amazing.
 
2013-08-25 03:17:09 PM
So if you are from Darwin and you die, does your life only serve to be the punchline of an internet joke?
 
2013-08-25 03:19:40 PM
www.rizzotees.com
 
2013-08-25 03:21:40 PM

bugmn99: Anastacya: The Hutt: The circumstances read like a hoax.

Someone's never seen the show "I Survived". Croc attacks are somewhat common. Especially amongst groups of 20-30 something guys drinking booze and generally trying to show off. One kid in Florida decided to jump in a creek in the middle of the night to swim to the other shore; a croc came out and feasted on his arm. He lived, but the usual booze + bravado = derp is pretty on the mark here.

How did the crocodile end up in Florida?


Crocnado
 
2013-08-25 03:24:00 PM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Anastacya: The Hutt: The circumstances read like a hoax.

Someone's never seen the show "I Survived". Croc attacks are somewhat common. Especially amongst groups of 20-30 something guys drinking booze and generally trying to show off. One kid in Florida decided to jump in a creek in the middle of the night to swim to the other shore; a croc came out and feasted on his arm. He lived, but the usual booze + bravado = derp is pretty on the mark here.

A Croc? In a creek in FL? That's farking amazing.


It's called the American Crocodile and its US range is southern Florida.

// I agree that it was more likely an alligator
 
2013-08-25 03:24:50 PM

veedeevadeevoodee: [www.rizzotees.com image 479x480]


i.imgur.com
 
2013-08-25 03:25:30 PM
Disregarded warnings about crocodiles and went in for a swim anyways?

Fair. Next.
 
2013-08-25 03:26:15 PM
Drongo.
 
2013-08-25 03:34:43 PM
The crocodile doesn't eat you immediately: It cannot chew. It drowns its catch and lets it decompose so it can easily process it. Crocs are also very difficult to kill instantly, as its brain is walnut-sized and tough to hit from front or profile.

What a miserable way to go.
 
2013-08-25 03:37:54 PM
FTFA:
On Sunday afternoon they were still watching hopelessly as police dragged the river in search of his remains.
 ...
When people are taken in billabongs, police sometimes shoot a croc so it can be cut open to search for the victim.


Wikipedia: ripening caching:
However, in ripening caching behavior, animals collect and cache food which is immediately inedible but will become "ripe" and edible after a short while. ... Crocodilians such as the Alligator are predators with ineffective teeth action - they can bite prey to kill it but can't tear flesh or chew. Small enough prey are swallowed whole while for larger prey, such as a deer, the carcass is cached underwater and left to rot (or "ripen") until it is easy to eat.

While a 15 meter croc is big I don't think it is large enough to swallow a human whole. Also I don't think dragging the river will dislodge a body if a croc has it firmly wedged underwater to let it ripen. I can't find info on crocodilians actually swallowing full grown humans but still the whole shoot it and cut it open seems rather pointless.
 
2013-08-25 03:38:00 PM
A five-metre crocodile was waiting for Mr Cole

Note to self, don't make appointments with crocodiles.
 
2013-08-25 03:40:29 PM
They're gonna need a bigger IT worker.
 
hej
2013-08-25 03:41:21 PM

Buggar: So if you are from Darwin and you die, does your life only serve to be the punchline of an internet joke?


If you die in an act of enormous stupidity, yes.
 
2013-08-25 03:41:54 PM
Can we get a "farking retarded" tag?
 
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