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(Time)   Whole Foods attempts to be your one-stop shop for all your hipster needs, begins offering vinyl records in some locations   (entertainment.time.com) divider line 94
    More: Ironic, whole foods, Fresh Sound, hair products, Paramore, Urban Outfitters, Alternative Lifestyles  
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2770 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Aug 2013 at 9:43 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



94 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-08-24 08:11:01 PM
I can see this backfiring. Whole Foods may have a lot of regular customers who will now be embarrassed to shop there. There's a certain plausible deniability being abandoned here.
 
2013-08-24 08:54:51 PM
cdn.stereogum.com

Don't give them ideas!
 
2013-08-24 09:28:05 PM
 You can't fault a store for recognizing and then catering to their demographic.
 
2013-08-24 09:32:06 PM
Anyone who shops at Whole Foods also tends to:

1. Own a TV but haven't turned it on in years
2. Drink microbrewery beer
3. Watch Japanese children's cartoons on a Mac
4. Appreciate the warmth of vinyl phonograph records
5. Read books at Starbucks
6. Claim to prefer girls with small breasts
7. Make snide remarks about Wal-Mart.
8. Walk past a smoker and force pretentious coughing noises
9. Take comfort in believing size doesn't matter
10. Feign disgust at the idea of eating a Big Mac

11. Ride a bike wearing spandex stretch trousers
 
2013-08-24 09:45:39 PM
Nobody prefers women with small breasts.
 
2013-08-24 09:48:17 PM

DoctorCal: Anyone who shops at Whole Foods also tends to:

1. Own a TV but haven't turned it on in years
2. Drink microbrewery beer
3. Watch Japanese children's cartoons on a Mac
4. Appreciate the warmth of vinyl phonograph records
5. Read books at Starbucks
6. Claim to prefer girls with small breasts
7. Make snide remarks about Wal-Mart.
8. Walk past a smoker and force pretentious coughing noises
9. Take comfort in believing size doesn't matter
10. Feign disgust at the idea of eating a Big Mac
11. Ride a bike wearing spandex stretch trousers


I watch Japanese Adult cartoons on a Mac. Thats different right?
 
2013-08-24 09:49:41 PM

DanZero: [cdn.stereogum.com image 608x475]

Don't give them ideas!


eil.com
 
2013-08-24 09:51:20 PM
Whole Foods block parties are next!

timenewsfeed.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-08-24 09:52:37 PM
The problem is, by the time you get to the front of the line everyone will have heard of the band.
 
2013-08-24 09:53:07 PM

DoctorCal: Anyone who shops at Whole Foods also tends to:

1. Own a TV but haven't turned it on in years
2. Drink microbrewery beer
3. Watch Japanese children's cartoons on a Mac
4. Appreciate the warmth of vinyl phonograph records
5. Read books at Starbucks
6. Claim to prefer girls with small breasts
7. Make snide remarks about Wal-Mart.
8. Walk past a smoker and force pretentious coughing noises
9. Take comfort in believing size doesn't matter
10. Feign disgust at the idea of eating a Big Mac
11. Ride a bike wearing spandex stretch trousers


I do drink microbrew but in fact I'm drinking busch light right now.

I enjoy shopping and listening to records.

The rest, not true at all.

I do almost all ny shopping at whole foods. It's friendly, clean, fun and more importantly the food is delicious.

They already sell compact discs at the one I go to. Might as well sell records I guess.
 
2013-08-24 09:57:06 PM

mrswood: DoctorCal: Anyone who shops at Whole Foods also tends to:

1. Own a TV but haven't turned it on in years
2. Drink microbrewery beer
3. Watch Japanese children's cartoons on a Mac
4. Appreciate the warmth of vinyl phonograph records
5. Read books at Starbucks
6. Claim to prefer girls with small breasts
7. Make snide remarks about Wal-Mart.
8. Walk past a smoker and force pretentious coughing noises
9. Take comfort in believing size doesn't matter
10. Feign disgust at the idea of eating a Big Mac
11. Ride a bike wearing spandex stretch trousers

I do drink microbrew but in fact I'm drinking busch light right now.

I enjoy shopping and listening to records.

The rest, not true at all.

I do almost all ny shopping at whole foods. It's friendly, clean, fun and more importantly the food is delicious.

They already sell compact discs at the one I go to. Might as well sell records I guess.


You sound...flat.
 
2013-08-24 09:57:31 PM
I appreciate the use of the Ironic tag.
 
2013-08-24 10:00:45 PM
Organic Vinyl?
 
2013-08-24 10:02:44 PM
Onion article?
 
2013-08-24 10:03:25 PM

DoctorCal: Anyone who shops at Whole Foods also tends to:

1. Own a TV but haven't turned it on in years
2. Drink microbrewery beer
3. Watch Japanese children's cartoons on a Mac
4. Appreciate the warmth of vinyl phonograph records
5. Read books at Starbucks
6. Claim to prefer girls with small breasts
7. Make snide remarks about Wal-Mart.
8. Walk past a smoker and force pretentious coughing noises
9. Take comfort in believing size doesn't matter
10. Feign disgust at the idea of eating a Big Mac
11. Ride a bike wearing spandex stretch trousers


1. TV is on a lot.
2. Sometimes, sure, but not exclusively.
3. No.
4. I like records but most of my music is on CD
5. F*ck, no.
6. Not a preference, but not a deal-breaker.
7. Come on. Who doesn't?
8-11. No.
 
2013-08-24 10:04:56 PM
Whole Foods is for morans who like paying too much for their food. Wegmans forever!

/at least until Wegmans starts selling skinny jeans
 
2013-08-24 10:05:22 PM
Whole food more like whole paycheck amiright?
 
2013-08-24 10:05:51 PM
The fark is "GMO-free vinyl?" A shiatty joke, or are they actually claiming that? The only hits I get on a search refer to this very article.
 
2013-08-24 10:06:26 PM
The thing about vinyl records is the cost to benefit ratio. There's so much effort involved in actually getting the record out of the shelf, out of the sleeves, into the player, setting the needle, etc... That's a lot of work for 15 min of tunes
 
2013-08-24 10:08:52 PM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: The thing about vinyl records is the cost to benefit ratio. There's so much effort involved in actually getting the record out of the shelf, out of the sleeves, into the player, setting the needle, etc... That's a lot of work for 15 min of tunes


There's more music on the other side. You have to turn them over. Takes like ten seconds.
 
2013-08-24 10:09:26 PM
It was clear they were catering to hipsters when they started selling PBR.
 
2013-08-24 10:14:15 PM
Can someone explain Whole Foods to me (or Trader Joe's, for that matter).

I've been in both.  It feels like what you'd get if you crossed a Target with an upscale food cooperative.  The selection is worse than the local cooperative, and the prices are higher.

Why do people like them so much?

Is it the consistency?  That one Whole Foods is pretty much like the next, where the local independent cooperative is different from any other local independent cooperative?  Is it that the high prices makes you unlikely to avoid the dreadlock crowd?  Is it the whole Democrat-voting upper middle class suburban white people trying to seek their own kind?  Is it the sheer amount of easy to make food, while the local coop may have *gasp* raw ingredients?
 
2013-08-24 10:15:15 PM
There's something to be said for vinyl.
nogoodforme.filmstills.org
 
2013-08-24 10:16:06 PM

Por que tan serioso: mrswood: DoctorCal: Anyone who shops at Whole Foods also tends to:

1. Own a TV but haven't turned it on in years
2. Drink microbrewery beer
3. Watch Japanese children's cartoons on a Mac
4. Appreciate the warmth of vinyl phonograph records
5. Read books at Starbucks
6. Claim to prefer girls with small breasts
7. Make snide remarks about Wal-Mart.
8. Walk past a smoker and force pretentious coughing noises
9. Take comfort in believing size doesn't matter
10. Feign disgust at the idea of eating a Big Mac
11. Ride a bike wearing spandex stretch trousers

I do drink microbrew but in fact I'm drinking busch light right now.

I enjoy shopping and listening to records.

The rest, not true at all.

I do almost all ny shopping at whole foods. It's friendly, clean, fun and more importantly the food is delicious.

They already sell compact discs at the one I go to. Might as well sell records I guess.

You sound...flat.


Flat like mount Everest
 
2013-08-24 10:21:02 PM

mrswood: Por que tan serioso: mrswood: DoctorCal: Anyone who shops at Whole Foods also tends to:

1. Own a TV but haven't turned it on in years
2. Drink microbrewery beer
3. Watch Japanese children's cartoons on a Mac
4. Appreciate the warmth of vinyl phonograph records
5. Read books at Starbucks
6. Claim to prefer girls with small breasts
7. Make snide remarks about Wal-Mart.
8. Walk past a smoker and force pretentious coughing noises
9. Take comfort in believing size doesn't matter
10. Feign disgust at the idea of eating a Big Mac
11. Ride a bike wearing spandex stretch trousers

I do drink microbrew but in fact I'm drinking busch light right now.

I enjoy shopping and listening to records.

The rest, not true at all.

I do almost all ny shopping at whole foods. It's friendly, clean, fun and more importantly the food is delicious.

They already sell compact discs at the one I go to. Might as well sell records I guess.

You sound...flat.

Flat like mount Everest


How YOU doin?
 
2013-08-24 10:21:19 PM
The stench of pretense was already close to unbearable to my local Whole Foods.  Fine, I'll just shop at Earth Fare.
 
2013-08-24 10:22:35 PM
Hopefully they expand the program.  A friend of mine is distraught that Reckless Records is closing its Forest Park, Illinois location tomorrow.  There are still at least a dozen other record stores in Chicago she could go to, but she's very typically suburban -- afraid of the big bad city.
 
2013-08-24 10:36:42 PM

DoctorCal: Anyone who shops at Whole Foods also tends to:

1. Own a TV but haven't turned it on in years
2. Drink microbrewery beer
3. Watch Japanese children's cartoons on a Mac
4. Appreciate the warmth of vinyl phonograph records
5. Read books at Starbucks
6. Claim to prefer girls with small breasts
7. Make snide remarks about Wal-Mart.
8. Walk past a smoker and force pretentious coughing noises
9. Take comfort in believing size doesn't matter
10. Feign disgust at the idea of eating a Big Mac
11. Ride a bike wearing spandex stretch trousers


What's it like living in fear of young people making fun of the unfashionable cut of your trousers?
 
2013-08-24 10:38:46 PM

DoctorCal: Anyone who shops at Whole Foods also tends to:

1. Own a TV but haven't turned it on in years
2. Drink microbrewery beer
3. Watch Japanese children's cartoons on a Mac
4. Appreciate the warmth of vinyl phonograph records
5. Read books at Starbucks
6. Claim to prefer girls with small breasts
7. Make snide remarks about Wal-Mart.
8. Walk past a smoker and force pretentious coughing noises
9. Take comfort in believing size doesn't matter
10. Feign disgust at the idea of eating a Big Mac
11. Ride a bike wearing spandex stretch trousers


12. Wear sandal's in public
 
2013-08-24 10:43:13 PM

mrswood: Por que tan serioso: mrswood: DoctorCal: Anyone who shops at Whole Foods also tends to:

1. Own a TV but haven't turned it on in years
2. Drink microbrewery beer
3. Watch Japanese children's cartoons on a Mac
4. Appreciate the warmth of vinyl phonograph records
5. Read books at Starbucks
6. Claim to prefer girls with small breasts
7. Make snide remarks about Wal-Mart.
8. Walk past a smoker and force pretentious coughing noises
9. Take comfort in believing size doesn't matter
10. Feign disgust at the idea of eating a Big Mac
11. Ride a bike wearing spandex stretch trousers

I do drink microbrew but in fact I'm drinking busch light right now.

I enjoy shopping and listening to records.

The rest, not true at all.

I do almost all ny shopping at whole foods. It's friendly, clean, fun and more importantly the food is delicious.

They already sell compact discs at the one I go to. Might as well sell records I guess.

You sound...flat.

Flat like mount Everest




Proof please
 
2013-08-24 10:45:42 PM

Brick-House: Organic Vinyl?


Soy based, with fair trade cut grooves, which were themselves cut using artisinally hand hammered
steel, which was sourced from a hypodermic needle that Lou Reed used to shoot a particularly tasty batch of fair trade china white, while recording The Velvet Underground and Nico.
 
2013-08-24 10:46:56 PM

DerpHerder: Whole food more like whole paycheck amiright?


Your handle, I like it.
 
2013-08-24 10:50:57 PM

MemeSlave: Nobody prefers women with small breasts.


I have small breast and men I meet prefer them. Got a problem with that?
 
2013-08-24 10:52:14 PM

Quackadam: DoctorCal: Anyone who shops at Whole Foods also tends to:

1. Own a TV but haven't turned it on in years
2. Drink microbrewery beer
3. Watch Japanese children's cartoons on a Mac
4. Appreciate the warmth of vinyl phonograph records
5. Read books at Starbucks
6. Claim to prefer girls with small breasts
7. Make snide remarks about Wal-Mart.
8. Walk past a smoker and force pretentious coughing noises
9. Take comfort in believing size doesn't matter
10. Feign disgust at the idea of eating a Big Mac
11. Ride a bike wearing spandex stretch trousers

12. Wear sandal's in public


13. Vapes
 
2013-08-24 10:53:45 PM
Uhoh. Somebody summoned Moby.
 
2013-08-24 10:54:03 PM

sn82: MemeSlave: Nobody prefers women with small breasts.

I have small breast and men I meet prefer them. Got a problem with that?


What happened, single mastectomy?
 
2013-08-24 10:55:15 PM
imageshack.com
 
2013-08-24 10:56:29 PM
I can't imagine anything more annoying than people shopping at places and enjoying things that I don't like.
 
2013-08-24 11:00:19 PM
I don't care...I'd love a Whole Foods in my neck of the woods (Wal-Mart country). I just want trail mix that doesn't have m&m's in it, that I don't have to pay $15 an oz. for (at the only co-op in town).

I would put up with all the scarves and skinny jeans in the world for this.

/not afraid of hipters, fark - my town has a business run out of an airstream that sells nothing but flannel shorts.
 
2013-08-24 11:02:07 PM

Kaleon: I appreciate the use of the Ironic tag.


I also came to commend what might possibly be FARK's only proper use of the "ironic" tag.
 
2013-08-24 11:05:10 PM
Fark Whole Foods.


wheatsville.coop
 
2013-08-24 11:06:17 PM

DoctorCal: Anyone who shops at Whole Foods also tends to:

1. Own a TV but haven't turned it on in years
2. Drink microbrewery beer
3. Watch Japanese children's cartoons on a Mac
4. Appreciate the warmth of vinyl phonograph records
5. Read books at Starbucks
6. Claim to prefer girls with small breasts
7. Make snide remarks about Wal-Mart.
8. Walk past a smoker and force pretentious coughing noises
9. Take comfort in believing size doesn't matter
10. Feign disgust at the idea of eating a Big Mac
11. Ride a bike wearing spandex stretch trousers


I believe 11 is also a fixed gear.
 
2013-08-24 11:12:21 PM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: sn82: MemeSlave: Nobody prefers women with small breasts.

I have small breast and men I meet prefer them. Got a problem with that?

What happened, single mastectomy?


Nah, genes of the wimmin folk in the family.
 
2013-08-24 11:23:46 PM

wyltoknow: I can't imagine anything more annoying than people shopping at places and enjoying things that I don't like.


People not liking the things you do like, and not shopping at the places you do shop?
 
2013-08-24 11:24:00 PM
I saved some vinyl from my grandpa's collection.

tralfaz-archives.com
 
2013-08-24 11:26:45 PM

jtown: I saved some vinyl from my grandpa's collection.

[tralfaz-archives.com image 400x400]


Sigh. If you want something right, you've got to do it yourself.
i.imgur.com
 
2013-08-24 11:37:55 PM
I can only assume that each record will sell for about $37.99 based on what they charge for all other products at Whole Foods.
 
2013-08-24 11:59:50 PM

MiamiChef: I can only assume that each record will sell for about $37.99 based on what they charge for all other products at Whole Foods.


Only $37.99? No way in hell is Jack White taking a pay cut.
 
2013-08-25 12:08:06 AM

tonguedepressor: [imageshack.com image 720x960]


That steak better include a BJ for that price.
 
2013-08-25 12:26:52 AM

LarryDan43: 11. Ride a bike wearing spandex stretch trousers

I believe 11 is also a fixed gear.


Nobody rides fixies in Spandex.
 
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