If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(io9)   How do you convince consumers that your product has real staying power? Show people using it in the future   (io9.com) divider line 47
    More: Amusing, hotel management, consumers  
•       •       •

6536 clicks; posted to Geek » on 24 Aug 2013 at 10:39 PM (48 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



47 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-08-24 06:29:11 PM
Men who plan beyond tomorrow like to get drunk on Seagram's today.
 
2013-08-24 06:51:03 PM
The future used to look so amazing.
 
2013-08-24 09:46:05 PM
They got one thing right. Anyone who "types" is a biatch. Men hammer their keyboards with two fingers, like men. Anyone who uses his pinky or whatever, he's a biatch. "I use all my fingers, because it's so much faster." Yeah, fark you. Stick all your fingers up your ass, because that's where you like them. Like a biatch likes them.
 
2013-08-24 10:53:22 PM

rumpelstiltskin: They got one thing right. Anyone who "types" is a biatch. Men hammer their keyboards with two fingers, like men. Anyone who uses his pinky or whatever, he's a biatch. "I use all my fingers, because it's so much faster." Yeah, fark you. Stick all your fingers up your ass, because that's where you like them. Like a biatch likes them.


Show me on this doll where the keyboard touched you...
 
2013-08-24 11:04:37 PM
img.gawkerassets.com
I want this Station Wagon!
 
2013-08-24 11:10:06 PM
90 minutes from New York to Paris
By '76 we'll be A-OK
 
2013-08-24 11:10:23 PM
MALK! Simpso... no wait... Synthsemesc did it.
 
2013-08-24 11:28:04 PM
img.gawkerassets.com

Looks like this astronaut's about to get an alien handie!

/allllllllll right
 
2013-08-24 11:32:49 PM
img.gawkerassets.com

It appears that this ad is marketed towards Supervillains.
 
2013-08-24 11:45:55 PM

Larry Mahnken: It appears that this ad is marketed towards Supervillains.


I'm drinking some Segrams (7) right now so I'm getting a kick etc.
 
2013-08-24 11:46:09 PM

Larry Mahnken: [img.gawkerassets.com image 640x795]

It appears that this ad is marketed towards Supervillains.


Or Tesla.
 
2013-08-24 11:53:15 PM
img.gawkerassets.com

Had to look up this insanity and all these words are from clockwork orange as milk ingredients. If a real milk company made this ad that's pretty bold.
 
2013-08-24 11:54:41 PM
let's not forget

static.thesocietypages.org
 
2013-08-25 12:04:04 AM
img20.imageshack.us

Worked for the iPhone 4.
 
2013-08-25 12:15:30 AM
I'm still waiting for Nuka-Cola to be a real thing, dangit.
 
2013-08-25 12:16:25 AM

J. Frank Parnell: Had to look up this insanity and all these words are from clockwork orange as milk ingredients. If a real milk company made this ad that's pretty bold.


Or Kubrick drew from real life ads knowing that at least some of his audience would recognize it and make the movie even more real lifelike in a surreal setting.
 
2013-08-25 12:44:24 AM
img822.imageshack.us
img593.imageshack.us
img607.imageshack.us
img834.imageshack.us
img27.imageshack.us
 
2013-08-25 12:47:46 AM

Radioactive Ass: J. Frank Parnell: Had to look up this insanity and all these words are from clockwork orange as milk ingredients. If a real milk company made this ad that's pretty bold.

Or Kubrick drew from real life ads knowing that at least some of his audience would recognize it and make the movie even more real lifelike in a surreal setting.


A Clockwork Orange was written by Anthony Burgess, not Stanley Kubrick, and all that stuff was made up or invented.
 
2013-08-25 01:10:34 AM
Didn't work so well for the brands feature in Blade Runner.
 
2013-08-25 01:17:29 AM

red5ish: A Clockwork Orange was written by Anthony Burgess, not Stanley Kubrick, and all that stuff was made up or invented.


Well, you're half-right. The drugs in the milk are all real, but just given the same pseudo-Russian slang treatment as everything else - vellocet is opiates, synthemesc is mescaline, and drencrom is adrenochrome (aka the crazy pineal gland drug from Fear & Loathing).
 
2013-08-25 01:22:36 AM
I have the weirdest Bohner right now.
 
2013-08-25 01:34:14 AM

MrEricSir: [img20.imageshack.us image 546x405]

Worked for the iPhone 4.


Speaking of ST:TNG

www.zennie62blog.com
 
2013-08-25 01:57:48 AM
Ahh, Lalla Ward.. Best companion of the 80's, by far. :)
 
2013-08-25 02:45:35 AM

Ishkur: let's not forget

[static.thesocietypages.org image 400x512]


As someone who does print product design, and ... someone who now feels slightly OCD because of the forthcoming admission, the break in the word curative is unforgivable.
 
2013-08-25 04:36:56 AM

Hertzfeld: Ishkur: let's not forget

[static.thesocietypages.org image 400x512]

As someone who does print product design, and ... someone who now feels slightly OCD because of the forthcoming admission, the break in the word curative is unforgivable.


Or unforg-
ivable.
 
2013-08-25 05:46:16 AM
img.gawkerassets.com
"Mom, my martian friend got his footprints on the ceiling!"

3.bp.blogspot.com
"Kinky..."
 
2013-08-25 06:23:32 AM
National Oils Seals actually do protect the machines of tomorrow ... er today:

Link
 
2013-08-25 07:18:45 AM
Sorry, Bohn, but the biggest rotary buckets are 98% steel, 2% copper for the motors.

Prophet of Loss: National Oils Seals actually do protect the machines of tomorrow ... er today:

Link


In class I was taught that bearings had been figured out. Build to the catalog or better. Bearings from the catalogue were good for 90 million revolutions at their rated capacity, just calculate a load factor to see if there's an issue.

I've been going through "The Black Star Passes" by John W Campbell, 1930, and it's hilarious just how wrong he was. Even as an intelligent man of science he was fractally wrong about the future of air transport, semiconductors, applications of quantum mechanics, and stellar formation. He actually reflected a belief that planets were ejected from proto-stars, which emitted their radiation from nuclear decay (fission) rather than nucleosynthesis (fusion) because he was about three years ahead of fusion.

If you want to get really freaky in scifi, Doc Smith's Lensman series starts with a premise about disconnecting the ships from the field that imbues them with mass. Essentially, Higgs Field cancellation. As in our ultimate best bet in building FTL spacecraft, written about by a chemist about 30 years before the theoretical physicists stumbled upon the query "well, why does matter have mass". Unfortunately it's also about 40 years ahead of women's lib and about a misogynistic as the Republican party.
 
2013-08-25 07:19:24 AM

Radioactive Ass: J. Frank Parnell: Had to look up this insanity and all these words are from clockwork orange as milk ingredients. If a real milk company made this ad that's pretty bold.

Or Kubrick drew from real life ads knowing that at least some of his audience would recognize it and make the movie even more real lifelike in a surreal setting.


Something tells me you didn't read the book.
 
2013-08-25 07:45:06 AM
Remember when people used to look forward to the future? Good times, good times.
 
2013-08-25 08:14:04 AM
Welcome to the world of tomorrow!

img.gawkerassets.com

Now get back to the kitchen and make me a space sandwich.
 
2013-08-25 08:27:58 AM
I just wish modern keyboard manufacturers cared this much:
img.gawkerassets.com
 
2013-08-25 10:38:02 AM

J. Frank Parnell: [img.gawkerassets.com image 640x700]

Had to look up this insanity and all these words are from clockwork orange as milk ingredients. If a real milk company made this ad that's pretty bold.




Initiative comes to those that wait.
 
2013-08-25 11:03:23 AM
img.gawkerassets.com

"Good whiskey.  You like that?  Now, how about you and me get naked and do it on this rug here?"
 
2013-08-25 11:10:08 AM
Love LOVE those Bohn ads.  I've seen them on Vintagraph.com for years, I should probably buy a print or two.  They all look to be done by the same artist.  Anyone have an idea who that might be?
 
2013-08-25 12:53:27 PM
They even have it today.

jasongaboriau.com
I guess a robot will look sexy or something when I'm in my 60s.
 
2013-08-25 02:37:37 PM

wildcardjack: Sorry, Bohn, but the biggest rotary buckets are 98% steel, 2% copper for the motors.

Prophet of Loss: National Oils Seals actually do protect the machines of tomorrow ... er today:

Link

In class I was taught that bearings had been figured out. Build to the catalog or better. Bearings from the catalogue were good for 90 million revolutions at their rated capacity, just calculate a load factor to see if there's an issue.

I've been going through "The Black Star Passes" by John W Campbell, 1930, and it's hilarious just how wrong he was. Even as an intelligent man of science he was fractally wrong about the future of air transport, semiconductors, applications of quantum mechanics, and stellar formation. He actually reflected a belief that planets were ejected from proto-stars, which emitted their radiation from nuclear decay (fission) rather than nucleosynthesis (fusion) because he was about three years ahead of fusion.

If you want to get really freaky in scifi, Doc Smith's Lensman series starts with a premise about disconnecting the ships from the field that imbues them with mass. Essentially, Higgs Field cancellation. As in our ultimate best bet in building FTL spacecraft, written about by a chemist about 30 years before the theoretical physicists stumbled upon the query "well, why does matter have mass". Unfortunately it's also about 40 years ahead of women's lib and about a misogynistic as the Republican party.


I've been reading lots of Asimov short stories and it's funny how many things he gets way wrong. Like the AI from self driving cars being so expensive that when the cars reach the end of their useful life someone wants to buy them and put the AI into new cars. Today with Google having self driving cars the actually CPU part is probably the cheapest thing in the whole system while the advance in chip technology makes anything more than a few years old almost worthless.
And another story uses an AI to proofread publications at a university. An AI in the form of a seven foot tall robot that picks up the manuscript and reads it page by page. The thought that people would type their manuscript directly into a computer that could check for spelling and grammar mistakes on the fly either didn't occur to him or was thought of as too bizarre.

Hindsight is cruel.
 
2013-08-25 04:03:36 PM

J. Frank Parnell: [img.gawkerassets.com image 640x700]

Had to look up this insanity and all these words are from clockwork orange as milk ingredients. If a real milk company made this ad that's pretty bold.


Not just "ingredients"; psychoactive drugs.
 
2013-08-25 04:49:42 PM

sendtodave: Now get back to the kitchen and make me a space sandwich.


I'd hate to have to clean the mascara splashback off of that space helmet visor.
 
2013-08-25 07:17:26 PM
I like the one of the old guy printing out his online newspaper, just like Your Grampie used to do.

They called that one right. And Your Grampie drank a lot of Seagrams product in his time, so they got a two-fur.
 
2013-08-25 07:19:37 PM
Thanx to jake-lex for this one:

img.fark.net

I'll give you a choice of captions:

a) If you think I'm hot, wait until you see our women folk!
b) You've come a long way, baby!
c) I'd rather switch than fight.
 
2013-08-25 07:21:39 PM
Americans just love smashing things into buildings.

Something you learn quickly on Fark.com.
 
2013-08-25 07:44:18 PM

crazypete: [img.gawkerassets.com image 747x898]
I want this Station Wagon!


As long as you never need to turn left or right.
 
2013-08-25 09:24:24 PM
god, now I'm having fallout 3 flashbacks.


/sips an ice cold nuka-cola quantum
 
2013-08-25 09:25:47 PM

Strolpol: I'm still waiting for Nuka-Cola to be a real thing, dangit.


it can be! get some radium and add a minute trace to coke. the tingling means its fresh.
 
2013-08-26 07:52:10 AM
A couple of the Bohn adverts were close to the mark.  The observation car on was very much like the ones on the California Zephyr, and there have been a few automobiles with transparent roof sections.

The streamlined tanker truck was a thing of beauty, though.  If I were rich, I'd have someone make me one for no other reason than to see it on the road.
 
2013-08-26 09:12:32 AM
I'm really getting tired of these vintage ad lists that have the ad on there so farking small that you can't read the actual body of the ad. At least let us click for a high-res version, I don't think that I'm the only one who would be interested in the type of shiat they used to sell these products back in the day.
 
Displayed 47 of 47 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report