If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Phys Org2)   British chemists announce the formula for a perfect grilled cheese sandwich. Apparently they've finally given up on that whole genetic teeth situation thing   (phys.org) divider line 46
    More: Silly, grilled cheese sandwiches, pharmacy, Royal Society of Chemistry, The Royal Society, white-breads, recipes, teeth, perfect  
•       •       •

2368 clicks; posted to Geek » on 23 Aug 2013 at 9:50 PM (33 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



46 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-08-23 08:25:10 PM
Uuuum, no.
 
2013-08-23 08:29:24 PM
There's no variable for mayonnaise. I do not like mayonnaise in its natural habitat, but mayonnaise is an important component in grilled cheese. Instead of greasing the bread with butter, use mayonnaise. Not a lot, and your goal is to cook off most of the mayo. Mayo has much more flavor than butter, and it also helps get the bread nicely browned and crispy, while the cheese becomes gooey and delicious.

Mayonnaise, won't you?

This message has been brought to you by the Association for Cardiac Medicine.
 
2013-08-23 09:13:38 PM
Not even close. Skillet. Butter. More butter than you thought you would need. White bread. Sharp Cheddar. Medium-Low heat. Turn once. Probably needs more butter.
 
2013-08-23 09:16:45 PM
put about 4 slices of Thick sliced John Morrell Hickory Smoked bacon on it and it would be perfect.
 
2013-08-23 09:53:04 PM
I am sure that someone will nominate this for an IgNobel Award.  Of course, British scientists also came up with the perfect mathematical equation in optimizing tea absorption while maintaining maximum structural integrity of your cookie.
 
2013-08-23 09:54:48 PM
I thought it was : Step 1) Be drunk, stoned, tired, and/or cold, Step 2) coat the entire breads with butter and stick some orange cheese in the middle, Step 3) fry it until the cheese melts and alternate Step 4) Dip in cream of tomato soup.
 
2013-08-23 10:02:30 PM
Hot pan
Butter
Bread of your choice
Kraft American Deluxe

Heat pan... to under 300 degrees (smoking point for butter)
add a bit of butter
throw two slices of bread in pan and brown
flip
place 2 slices of cheese
sandwich the cheese
brown -  flip -  brown
enjoy

// I like thin sliced tomato on mine
 
2013-08-23 10:12:08 PM
 
2013-08-23 10:28:54 PM

DontMakeMeComeBackThere: http://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2012/08/grilled-cheese-with-sautee d -mushrooms-recipe.html

THAT is the best (hoity toity) grilled cheese ever


Once you include any vegetables or meat it's not really a grilled cheese anymore.  It can still be delicious, and in many cases even better, but grilled cheese is bread + cheese + (optional) condiments.
 
2013-08-23 10:29:29 PM
t3knomanser:

Funny'd for:

Mayonnaise, won't you?

I wish I could vote in multiples.  You have struck my humerus.
 
2013-08-23 10:34:44 PM
http://www.geek.com/science/scientists-determine-the-formula-for-perf e ct-melted-cheese-on-toast-1567602/
A) It's cheese toast not grilled cheese.
B) It fails to be science when the results are based on opinion.
C) Latin for 100
 
2013-08-23 10:40:28 PM
images2.wikia.nocookie.net

    1 x Fire Crystal
    1 x Black Pepper
    1 x Chalaimbille
    1 x Crying Mustard
    1 x Grauberg Lettuce
    1 x Mithran Tomato
    1 x White Bread

Your cooking level has to be at least 21.
 
2013-08-23 10:44:53 PM
t3knomanser : There's no variable for mayonnaise. I do not like mayonnaise in its natural habitat, but mayonnaise is an important component in grilled cheese. Instead of greasing the bread with butter, use mayonnaise. Not a lot, and your goal is to cook off most of the mayo. Mayo has much more flavor than butter,

You can keep your mayo, it's one of the few common foods on my banned food list (along with pickles and beets).

I use a gigantic cast iron pot to make grilled cheese.

// Mayo, not even once (youtube)
 
2013-08-23 11:05:22 PM
Place a frying pan on a burner set to medium.

Start like you're making a cold cheese sandwich. that is, butter two pieces of bread and put two slices of velveeta between the slices of bread, butter side IN.

Now butter the outside of one slide, and place the sandwich butter side down in the pan which has been heating while you've been constructing the sandwich. As the bottom of the sandwich starts frying, butter the outside of the top slice of bread.

Go check Facebook or Twitter.

Dash back to the stove and flip the sandwich. Bottom slice is golden brown and crispy.

Go look at Fark.

Back to the stove and flip the sammich. the other side is now golden brown delicious and the velveeta is melted.
 
2013-08-23 11:14:56 PM
ravenlore: and the velveeta is melted.

The WHAT?!
 
2013-08-23 11:15:28 PM

t3knomanser: mayonnaise is an important component in grilled cheese.


www.sectalk.com
 
2013-08-23 11:18:45 PM

ravenlore: two slices of velveeta


www.sectalk.com
 
2013-08-23 11:25:32 PM

t3knomanser: There's no variable for mayonnaise. I do not like mayonnaise in its natural habitat, but mayonnaise is an important component in grilled cheese. Instead of greasing the bread with butter, use mayonnaise. Not a lot, and your goal is to cook off most of the mayo. Mayo has much more flavor than butter, and it also helps get the bread nicely browned and crispy, while the cheese becomes gooey and delicious.

Mayonnaise, won't you?

This message has been brought to you by the Association for Cardiac Medicine.

Mayonnaise? That's Hell, man

 
2013-08-23 11:27:23 PM
Also, a can of Easy Cheese on Wonder Bread, microwaved for 30 seconds. That's it
 
2013-08-23 11:36:05 PM

Paleorific: Hot pan
Butter
Bread of your choice
Kraft American Deluxe

Heat pan... to under 300 degrees (smoking point for butter)
add a bit of butter
throw two slices of bread in pan and brown
flip
place 2 slices of cheese
sandwich the cheese
brown -  flip -  brown
enjoy

// I like thin sliced tomato on mine


There are 3 ingredients in a grilled cheese: bread, cheese, and butter.  I like a little sharp cheddar with the american.

One important step is letting the pan warm up.  If you put the sandwich in the pan too soon, the first side ends up under done.

Also, the last step is to slice in to triangles with the end of the spatula.
 
2013-08-23 11:50:23 PM
wallaceandgromit.net
 
2013-08-24 12:29:11 AM
To truly make it British cuisine, don't you have to boil it next?
 
2013-08-24 12:32:59 AM

revrendjim: Not even close. Skillet. Butter. More butter than you thought you would need. White bread. Sharp Cheddar. Medium-Low heat. Turn once. Probably needs more butter.


Potato bread works great, too.
 
2013-08-24 12:38:14 AM
Three cheeses.  I like Gruyere, Havarti and Provelone.  With tomato bisque.  And a nice glass of white wine.
 
2013-08-24 12:38:23 AM

t3knomanser: There's no variable for mayonnaise. I do not like mayonnaise in its natural habitat, but mayonnaise is an important component in grilled cheese. Instead of greasing the bread with butter, use mayonnaise. Not a lot, and your goal is to cook off most of the mayo. Mayo has much more flavor than butter, and it also helps get the bread nicely browned and crispy, while the cheese becomes gooey and delicious.

Mayonnaise, won't you?

This message has been brought to you by the Association for Cardiac Medicine.


9.99/10
 
2013-08-24 01:00:25 AM

alaric3:
A) It's cheese toast not grilled cheese.
A) It's cheese toast not grilled cheese.
A) It's cheese toast not grilled cheese.



Just thought that needed reiterating.
/not all of the above was a direct quote
//just really needed reiterating

Also, you know what makes the perfect grilled cheese sandwich? It being free and mine. Everything beyond that is just gravy, as they say.

/// sometimes they say "frosting", but sometimes "they" are just high
 
2013-08-24 01:12:15 AM
Shenanigans!  Density of the bread isn't considered at all.  And they call themselves "scientists".  Pshaw!
 
2013-08-24 01:28:18 AM
"...sliced hard cheese, such as cheddar, on a slice of white bread  ..."

i0.kym-cdn.com
 
2013-08-24 02:24:49 AM
Take two fairly thick slices of medium density white bread. Beat some eggs, add paprika, cayenne, salt and pepper to the egg mixture. Now, dredge the slices of bread in the egg mixture, as though you were making French toast. Let them soak it up, then let them drip dry to remove the excess. In a hot buttered saute pan, start searing the first slice of bread. When it's been on for about 30 - 40 seconds, add on one slice of American, one slice of jalapeno jack, and one slice of cheddar. Let those melt in a bit, then place the second slice of bread on top, and flip the whole thing over. Cook until the second side is brown and crispy.

Serve with tomato bisque and a sphygmomanometer.
 
2013-08-24 02:32:55 AM
115C? That's not enough to brown the farking bread.
 
2013-08-24 02:47:14 AM
You guys will hate me.

I take Sourdough bread and Kraft Deluxe, and lightly spray is with PAM buttery spray, and put it in my toaster oven.
 
2013-08-24 02:48:01 AM

Relatively Obscure: t3knomanser: mayonnaise is an important component in grilled cheese.

[www.sectalk.com image 500x333]


can we pound on him a bit first?
 
2013-08-24 02:51:52 AM
24.media.tumblr.com
/wants a grilled cheese
 
2013-08-24 03:41:37 AM

DontMakeMeComeBackThere: http://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2012/08/grilled-cheese-with-sautee d -mushrooms-recipe.html

THAT is the best (hoity toity) grilled cheese ever


Addition of shrooms? Godlike!
 
2013-08-24 04:17:49 AM

t3knomanser: There's no variable for mayonnaise. I do not like mayonnaise in its natural habitat, but mayonnaise is an important component in grilled cheese. Instead of greasing the bread with butter, use mayonnaise. Not a lot, and your goal is to cook off most of the mayo. Mayo has much more flavor than butter, and it also helps get the bread nicely browned and crispy, while the cheese becomes gooey and delicious.

Mayonnaise, won't you?

This message has been brought to you by the Association for Cardiac Medicine.


aioli > mayo for grilled cheese.  and no, it's not the same thing.

formula fails for even considering white bread.
 
2013-08-24 05:23:28 AM

Harry_Seldon: You guys will hate me.

I take Sourdough bread and Kraft Deluxe, and lightly spray is with PAM buttery spray, and put it in my toaster oven.


That is a fantastic recipe right up until the apartment fire.  I speak from experience - any oil/fat fire is difficult to put out.  Get an extinguisher specifically for it at one of the box stores.

/survivor of the great GWU bacon fire of 1989
//only ruined the toaster oven and a desk
///made Thurston Hall smell like smoke for a week
////water on a grease fire is a terrible idea
 
2013-08-24 05:53:38 AM
Wellp, I am at a loss for why the terrorists want to attack us, with the calm, level-headed discussion on how to cook bread and cheese we have here.
 
2013-08-24 06:07:44 AM

Lsherm: Harry_Seldon: You guys will hate me.

I take Sourdough bread and Kraft Deluxe, and lightly spray is with PAM buttery spray, and put it in my toaster oven.

That is a fantastic recipe right up until the apartment fire.  I speak from experience - any oil/fat fire is difficult to put out.  Get an extinguisher specifically for it at one of the box stores.

/survivor of the great GWU bacon fire of 1989
//only ruined the toaster oven and a desk
///made Thurston Hall smell like smoke for a week
////water on a grease fire is a terrible idea


It is technically not a "toaster oven." It is a Panasonic NB-G110P  FlashXpress. It cooks with infrared lights. Best "toaster oven" I ever owned. No fires. I have extinguishers all over the house. Costco had a sale.
 
2013-08-24 06:11:17 AM
Whole wheat bread, havarti, butter, and a slice of home-grown tomato.
 
2013-08-24 06:35:49 AM
Battle and Brew in Atlanta makes an Ultimate Grilled Cheese for $8.50: American, cheddar, provolone, swiss, fried mozzarella sticks and bacon. Served with Tater Tots. I have no reason to believe the English could have surpassed this work of art.
 
2013-08-24 09:28:31 AM

wildcardjack: 115C? That's not enough to brown the farking bread.


It's as hot as an EZ Bake Oven can get. But that light bulb will heat things over time just fine.
 
2013-08-24 10:58:14 AM

t3knomanser: There's no variable for mayonnaise. I do not like mayonnaise in its natural habitat, but mayonnaise is an important component in grilled cheese. Instead of greasing the bread with butter, use mayonnaise. Not a lot, and your goal is to cook off most of the mayo. Mayo has much more flavor than butter, and it also helps get the bread nicely browned and crispy, while the cheese becomes gooey and delicious.


I prefer a relatively strong olive oil. Same basic principle, and probably a little more heart healthy.
 
2013-08-24 11:19:19 AM
In my life I've had a grand total of one (one!) grilled cheese sandwich, done as a novelty and just to be able to say I've had one.

Probably a million pan-fried cheese sandwiches, though.
 
2013-08-24 03:01:09 PM
Sorry, but I just have to be a grammar Nazi here. It's "chemists announce" or "chemist announces," but never "chemists announces" or "chemist announce."
 
2013-08-24 04:28:00 PM
I think there's a disconnect here...

What Brits called grilled cheese, and what Americans call grilled cheese are two separate things.
 
2013-08-25 09:02:06 AM

tripleseven: I think there's a disconnect here...

What Brits called grilled cheese, and what Americans call grilled cheese are two separate things.


Brits don't call anything grilled cheese.. What yanks call grilled cheese, we call a cheese toastie, or a toasted cheese sandwich. The article is about cheese on toast, which is what it sounds like.. Toast one side of a piece of bread under a grill (which Americans call a broiler, just to confuse things further), then flip it, put cheese on it (generally Cheddar, but Red Leicester or Double Gloucester are acceptable alternatives) and keep grilling until the cheese bubbles. Personally I think Worcestershire sauce on the bread under the cheese is an excellent addition, but YMMV.
 
Displayed 46 of 46 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report