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(ABC 33/40 Birmingham)   News: Suspects thwarted by gun-packing homeowner. Fark: Suspects told deputies that they had been given permission to be on the property to collect scrap. Uber Fark: Then said the homeowner's donkey escaped and tried to coax it back with a cracker   (abc3340.com) divider line 21
    More: Amusing, Birmingham News, Suspects thwarted, 16th Street, homeowners, Suspects told, Central Alabama  
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2883 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Aug 2013 at 7:09 PM (34 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



21 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-08-23 07:14:23 PM
Goat Bait:

l3.yimg.com
 
2013-08-23 07:14:58 PM
Donkey...dammit, I'm a jackass.
 
2013-08-23 07:18:06 PM
Well, hell. Crackers gonna be crackers.

I got nuthin.
 
2013-08-23 07:34:08 PM
Who you callin' cracker biatch?
 
2013-08-23 07:35:41 PM
There's a guy who's been stopping by my place for years, back when it was my grandpas, to pick up scrap so I'm getting a kick out of this story.  He's had my permission to grab anything he wants that's not in/on/near the house since I got the place.  But I sold it and escrow closes next week and the number I have for him doesn't work any more.  Hopefully he'll knock on the door before loading up any scrap in the future.  He always has in the past so I'm not too worried but I need to let the new owners know that he's not a scammer or a thief.
 
2013-08-23 07:38:41 PM
Donkeys enjoy biscotti, mules are the ones that like crackers. Jackasses.
 
2013-08-23 07:41:25 PM
Who you callin' cracker biatch.

i860.photobucket.com

Got nuthin'.
 
2013-08-23 08:03:58 PM
what kind of cracker?
 
2013-08-23 08:35:14 PM

Carn: what kind of cracker?


He was about 4'3" blond hair, blue eyes and weighted about 45-50 pounds.
 
2013-08-23 08:53:12 PM
i1280.photobucket.com
Obliga, bliga, bliga,blig.
 
2013-08-23 09:04:48 PM
A responsible gun owner and the Liberals are miles away from at least giving the guy a "good job".  At least we have a thread with some peace and quiet then.
 
2013-08-24 12:01:13 AM
Ya, the cracker lure is only gonna work if soup is involved. Jeeze, stupid people are stupid.
 
2013-08-24 01:17:20 AM
FTFA: "the suspects told deputies that they had been given permission by "someone" to be on the property to collect scrap items... They then said the homeowner's donkey had managed to get outside of the fenced-in property and they were there trying to coax it back inside the fence with a cracker. Both alibis proved to be false and they were taken into custody then transported to the Jefferson County Jail."

Those aren't alibis.  Those are explanations for why they were there...as in the exact OPPOSITE of an alibi. An alibi would have been proof that they WEREN'T there.  How do you get to be a reporter, writing articles on local criminal activities, and not even know what an alibi is?
 
2013-08-24 01:30:04 AM

Fade2black: A responsible gun owner and the Liberals are miles away from at least giving the guy a "good job".  At least we have a thread with some peace and quiet then.


IS he a responsible gun owner?  Does he lock his gun up so children and other non-owners can't get it?  Does he train regularly at a range? Are you sure he doesn't take pot shots in his backyard which faces another house while drunk in his underwear?  Etc etc.  Cause the article doesn't say shiat about any of that or anything else related to being responsible.

Or are we using the Fark Independent version of responsible gun owner, AKA a person who manages to avoid accidentally shooting himself in the balls during the twenty minutes covered by the article?

It's important to be specific.
 
2013-08-24 05:10:00 AM

8Fingers: Ya, the cracker lure is only gonna work if soup is involved. Jeeze, stupid people are stupid.




www.coe.ksu.edu
 
2013-08-24 06:35:22 AM

Emposter: FTFA: "the suspects told deputies that they had been given permission by "someone" to be on the property to collect scrap items... They then said the homeowner's donkey had managed to get outside of the fenced-in property and they were there trying to coax it back inside the fence with a cracker. Both alibis proved to be false and they were taken into custody then transported to the Jefferson County Jail."

Those aren't alibis.  Those are explanations for why they were there...as in the exact OPPOSITE of an alibi. An alibi would have been proof that they WEREN'T there.  How do you get to be a reporter, writing articles on local criminal activities, and not even know what an alibi is?


Normally, legal reporting is pretty crappy, but, actually, 'alibi' also includes a secondary definition that DOES cover this situation...at least according to dictionary.com

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/alibi?s=t
 
2013-08-24 07:56:50 AM

Emposter: Fade2black: A responsible gun owner and the Liberals are miles away from at least giving the guy a "good job".  At least we have a thread with some peace and quiet then.

IS he a responsible gun owner?  Does he lock his gun up so children and other non-owners can't get it?  Does he train regularly at a range? Are you sure he doesn't take pot shots in his backyard which faces another house while drunk in his underwear?  Etc etc.  Cause the article doesn't say shiat about any of that or anything else related to being responsible.

Or are we using the Fark Independent version of responsible gun owner, AKA a person who manages to avoid accidentally shooting himself in the balls during the twenty minutes covered by the article?

It's important to be specific.


i bet you assume people are racist unless proven otherwise too, huh?
 
2013-08-24 08:00:59 AM
I'm confused, what was the donkey trying to coax back with a cracker????
 
2013-08-24 10:26:39 AM

Pathman: Emposter: Fade2black: A responsible gun owner and the Liberals are miles away from at least giving the guy a "good job".  At least we have a thread with some peace and quiet then.

IS he a responsible gun owner?  Does he lock his gun up so children and other non-owners can't get it?  Does he train regularly at a range? Are you sure he doesn't take pot shots in his backyard which faces another house while drunk in his underwear?  Etc etc.  Cause the article doesn't say shiat about any of that or anything else related to being responsible.

Or are we using the Fark Independent version of responsible gun owner, AKA a person who manages to avoid accidentally shooting himself in the balls during the twenty minutes covered by the article?

It's important to be specific.

i bet you assume people are racist unless proven otherwise too, huh?




I'm a proud monkeysherist.
 
2013-08-24 10:38:54 AM

Pathman: Emposter: Fade2black: A responsible gun owner and the Liberals are miles away from at least giving the guy a "good job".  At least we have a thread with some peace and quiet then.

IS he a responsible gun owner?  Does he lock his gun up so children and other non-owners can't get it?  Does he train regularly at a range? Are you sure he doesn't take pot shots in his backyard which faces another house while drunk in his underwear?  Etc etc.  Cause the article doesn't say shiat about any of that or anything else related to being responsible.

Or are we using the Fark Independent version of responsible gun owner, AKA a person who manages to avoid accidentally shooting himself in the balls during the twenty minutes covered by the article?

It's important to be specific.

i bet you assume people are racist unless proven otherwise too, huh?


Not just proven, he has to have them in his sight 24/7. If you ever slip away then there is no way to know if you are a racist, which means you probably are.
 
2013-08-24 11:35:30 AM
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
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