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(Slate)   The new Taco Bell Fiery Doritos Locos Taco is a triumph of human ingenuity and the best bargain in fast food today. Just don't get the Supreme. (sour leakage)   (slate.com) divider line 99
    More: Interesting, Doritos Locos, Taco Bell, Fiery Doritos, Doritos, Doritos Locos Taco, nacho cheese  
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8668 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Aug 2013 at 7:22 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



99 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-08-23 07:27:02 AM  
Just like HP sells printers for cheap to make up margin on ink and toner, I wonder how much revenue Taco Bell gets from antacid and toilet paper sales
 
2013-08-23 07:28:09 AM  
These are simply terrible- and this coming from someone who is willing to eat Taco Bell.
They are ridiculously salty (we're talking Dead Sea salty), and the cardboard advertisement they are sheathed in traps steam making it a soggy mess that breaks at the bend in the excuse for a tortilla.
 
2013-08-23 07:33:35 AM  
I just wish they did a sweet & spicy chili flavor. Those are amazing, and great in tuna fish
 
2013-08-23 07:37:33 AM  
It's a free country with a free market, so if you don't want to eat something that tastes like an acre of ass, if you'd prefer not to inflict your explosive farts and unexpected shart-bombs on those around you, then there are plenty of other things to eat for a buck fifty.
Taco Bell is for drunk impulse purchases, they'd do well to borrow this ad campaign from the UK.
bloomdesign.typepad.com
/hot
 
2013-08-23 07:38:42 AM  

NeuroticRocker:  great in tuna fish


I'm intrigued.
 
2013-08-23 07:38:43 AM  
I love the Guy Fieri-level flavor analysis by the insipid j-school dropout.
 
2013-08-23 07:39:26 AM  
I can see why people get excited for this stoner cuisine, but just the thought of that meat makes my stomach turn.
 
2013-08-23 07:42:07 AM  

HotWingConspiracy: I can see why people get excited for this stoner cuisine, but just the thought of that meat makes my stomach turn.


What is the 'meat' you are referring to? Remember that we are speaking of Taco Bell.
 
2013-08-23 07:42:25 AM  
First, the writer insults food by calling the taco a "dish." Second, I like Taco Bell. A lot. Their quesadillas are awesome and awesomely cheap.

But a fiery shell on a taco? How about no. If I want heat on a taco, I shall use hot (OK, in my case, mild) sauce. I like the nacho-flavored tacos, and I can eat more than a few of the cool ranch ones. But fiery ones? Just no.
 
2013-08-23 07:42:36 AM  
'the best bargain in fast food today '

I'll pass thanks, on anything described thusly
 
2013-08-23 07:43:35 AM  
That crap is so awful, they can't even make it look good in a promotional picture.
 
2013-08-23 07:44:22 AM  
I just had their new smothered burrito yesterday. Taco Bell shouldn't be allowed to sell something that good.
 
2013-08-23 07:44:39 AM  

HotWingConspiracy: I can see why people get excited for this stoner cuisine, but just the thought of that meat makes my stomach turn.


I think their chicken might be a better choice than their "meat," but I've never asked for it. Having said that, the tacos are generally good.
 
2013-08-23 07:46:12 AM  
Mouthfeel?

/lulz
 
2013-08-23 07:46:21 AM  
7 layer burrito was great before the latest couple of versions of their fake sour cream and fake guacamole.  Still kind of okay.
 
2013-08-23 07:48:28 AM  

K3rmy: HotWingConspiracy: I can see why people get excited for this stoner cuisine, but just the thought of that meat makes my stomach turn.

What is the 'meat' you are referring to? Remember that we are speaking of Taco Bell.


Sorry, the spiced protein paste.
 
2013-08-23 07:50:15 AM  

YoOjo: acre of ass


I have struggled to name my new album, but I think I've finally found it. EIP for copyright negotiation.
 
2013-08-23 07:55:23 AM  
Id rather eat gas station hot dogs than that crap. But hey- if it floats yer boat, feel free.
 
2013-08-23 07:57:20 AM  

dickfreckle: YoOjo: acre of ass

I have struggled to name my new album, but I think I've finally found it. EIP for copyright negotiation.


Have at it, it's just words.
 
2013-08-23 07:58:26 AM  

Colour_out_of_Space: These are simply terrible- and this coming from someone who is willing to eat Taco Bell.
They are ridiculously salty (we're talking Dead Sea salty), and the cardboard advertisement they are sheathed in traps steam making it a soggy mess that breaks at the bend in the excuse for a tortilla.


This is definitely irritating.  Yet the top of it crumbles like talc.  We already bought your product, you don't need to advertise it to us yet again.

Unless of course the moisture is the only thing keeping it from completely disintegrating.
 
2013-08-23 07:59:42 AM  
Anyone complained about the Cheap (so called) meat yet? Who cares... Taco bell wouldn't survive if it used actual ground beef and charged for it. Just the other day I went shopping and got sticker shocked that 93/7 ground beef is almost $4.50 a pound.
Every once in a while I break down and visit taco bell for some supreme hard tacos. I'd much rather make it at home with actual ground beef, but taco bell serves its purpose as you can get full on a few dollars.

I havent tried any of the new tacos, I doubt I will unless I get another Taco bell crave. which likely won't be any time soon - there's an actual mexican restaurant near me (family owned) that does 3 awesome taco's for $5, something Taco Bell should try (you know real meat and real hispanic tacos?)
 
2013-08-23 08:00:43 AM  
While I don't doubt that the author liked the taco, I find myself wondering his delivery wasn't hella satirical.
 
2013-08-23 08:02:11 AM  
weknowmemes.com
 
2013-08-23 08:05:40 AM  

Misconduc: Anyone complained about the Cheap (so called) meat yet? Who cares... Taco bell wouldn't survive if it used actual ground beef and charged for it. Just the other day I went shopping and got sticker shocked that 93/7 ground beef is almost $4.50 a pound.


Taco Bell wouldn't be paying that price. They would survive just fine, but there is more profit in just spicing crap.
 
2013-08-23 08:13:29 AM  
Sour Leakage is the name of my new proctology report.
 
2013-08-23 08:15:49 AM  
I like the bean and cheese burritos. Everything else is swill.
 
2013-08-23 08:21:45 AM  
first of all, they're not even very good.... secondly, 40 cents extra per taco for flavored dust? Bargain, my ass
 
2013-08-23 08:24:58 AM  
Godammitsomuch! I have to work for a living. I want a job like his where I get paid to "investigate" and write (should have put that word in quotes as well) about cheap food
 
2013-08-23 08:25:15 AM  

THX 1138: While I don't doubt that the author liked the taco, I find myself wondering his delivery wasn't hella satirical.


This.

Especially the emphatic stress on how the spirit of American innovation has seen a renaissance in Taco Bell's DLTs(?!!!) Is Author poking fun at poor, fat, dumb Americans, or is Author just not so clever as to insinuate thusly? It's certainly the first thought I thunk upon completion of this rather nicely-worded ode to such a flaming turd as this "dish" (again, above, this.) - alright, the second thought; first was decidedly do not want this in my mouth ever.
 
2013-08-23 08:25:30 AM  
Taco Bell's new slogan; Tastes just like meat!
 
2013-08-23 08:29:47 AM  

HotWingConspiracy: K3rmy: HotWingConspiracy: I can see why people get excited for this stoner cuisine, but just the thought of that meat makes my stomach turn.

What is the 'meat' you are referring to? Remember that we are speaking of Taco Bell.

Sorry, the spiced protein paste.


Protein?  Once again, I think you err too far on the side of quality.
 
2013-08-23 08:31:24 AM  

K3rmy: HotWingConspiracy: I can see why people get excited for this stoner cuisine, but just the thought of that meat makes my stomach turn.

What is the 'meat' you are referring to? Remember that we are speaking of Taco Bell.


There was an article where Taco Bell proudly said that their ground beef filling was "88% meat."  The rest was presumably their blend of flavorings, whatever that means.
 
2013-08-23 08:32:25 AM  
i pity people with piss poor putrid palates.
 
2013-08-23 08:34:37 AM  
So are they going to bring back Fiery Habanero Doritos?  Cos those were wonderful.

/couldn't care less about the Toxicology Lab
 
2013-08-23 08:38:36 AM  
Came here for the food 'snobs' blasting anything that wasn't organic, locally grown vegetables grown from recycled wastewater, fertilized with recycled organic, local food, and grown from seeds of previously eaten food because OMG we can't throw those away.
 
2013-08-23 08:43:43 AM  
I ate the "happy hour" loaded grillers yesterday - 2 beef, 2 chicken, and I drank a cherry limeade and nursed a little of a pina colada "chiller". I can tell I'm getting older by my purchase regret. No real physical issues, just: wow, that didn't taste very good at all. No snobbery, just that it's finally sinking in that as a grownup, I probably need to eat at grownup places. Also, fake pineapple/coconut flavor never fails to creep me out.
 
2013-08-23 08:46:25 AM  

Creoena: Came here for the food 'snobs' blasting anything that wasn't organic, locally grown vegetables grown from recycled wastewater, fertilized with recycled organic, local food, and grown from seeds of previously eaten food because OMG we can't throw those away.


and left disappointed? there there
 
2013-08-23 08:47:03 AM  

Creoena: Came here for the food 'snobs' blasting anything that wasn't organic, locally grown vegetables grown from recycled wastewater, fertilized with recycled organic, local food, and grown from seeds of previously eaten food because OMG we can't throw those away.


And you left empty handed.
 
2013-08-23 08:47:10 AM  
Yeah, I'm definitely a food guy.  We don't buy processed food, shop at the farmer's market as much as we can, cut our own meat from primals, grind our own beef, etc.  Pretty adept at dozens of different types of cuisine.

I like the DLTs.  They are excellent fast food junk.  I'll take one over anything else on the taco bell menu, anything on McD's, etc.  Outside of a WhichWhich or JJ or Jersey Mike's sub I'd say it is the best fast food out there.  For a once a quarter treat they aren't bad.  I could see how they would destroy you if you ate this crap daily, but for what they are they are excellent.
 
2013-08-23 08:49:06 AM  

Creoena: Came here for the food 'snobs' blasting anything that wasn't organic, locally grown vegetables grown from recycled wastewater, fertilized with recycled organic, local food, and grown from seeds of previously eaten food because OMG we can't throw those away.


Sorry we, uh, disappointed?

I wish the DLTs had a crispier shell, but I love them anyway.
 
2013-08-23 08:49:43 AM  
Note to sour cream lovers. Taco bell with sell you a small container of sour cream for about 50 cents. You can you then use it to spread sour cream on several tacos. A way cheaper option than ordering your tacos with sour cream.
 
2013-08-23 08:50:45 AM  
If this is the future of fast food I have finally grown up and moved on. No thanks.
 
2013-08-23 08:50:49 AM  

HotWingConspiracy: I can see why people get excited for this stoner cuisine, but just the thought of that meat makes my stomach turn.


It's not meat, it's a mixture containing something we know as meat and taco bell's own mixtures of non-meat stuff. Enjoy the various spices and chemicals fooling your senses, but don't forget...digestion will out.
 
2013-08-23 08:52:10 AM  

dickfreckle: YoOjo: acre of ass

I have struggled to name my new album, but I think I've finally found it. EIP for copyright negotiation.


I think it's probably been used for a porn video title, but then again, it wouldn't be too surprising.
 
2013-08-23 08:53:11 AM  
So basically this is a normal Dorito taco with lava sauce on it. Big deal. You can have them put lava sauce on anything (I was sad about my volcano tacos going away until they let me know about the lava sauce).

The Dorito tacos taste like crap. Even with lava sauce all it would be is spicier crap.
 
2013-08-23 08:55:06 AM  
How anyone with more than a grade school education can order that is beyond me.Homemade tacos and Doritos sounds revolting....TB doing it makes me yak.
 
2013-08-23 08:56:33 AM  
If you want to know why people who eat Doritos tend to be fatasses, buy a small bag of them, take a pair of tongs, keep a fire extinguisher handy, and light one on fire. Observe.

After you've put out your hair and eyebrows, you will quickly realize that your metabolism can't possibly keep up with that sh*t. Those calories go straight to your soon-to-be-diabetic ass.
 
2013-08-23 09:03:18 AM  

picturescrazy: I just had their new smothered burrito yesterday. Taco Bell shouldn't be allowed to sell something that good.


img.fark.net
Image "beared" repeating after I read that sentence.

That smothered burrito looks like diarrhea on a plate.
 
2013-08-23 09:03:53 AM  

hailin: So basically this is a normal Dorito taco with lava sauce on it. Big deal. You can have them put lava sauce on anything (I was sad about my volcano tacos going away until they let me know about the lava sauce).

The Dorito tacos taste like crap. Even with lava sauce all it would be is spicier crap.


I don't think you understand how the Locos tacos work...
 
2013-08-23 09:05:45 AM  
Gack. I had one of the nacho-flavored ones when they came out. Just tasted like a stale taco shell with more salt than usual.

2-3 times a year, I make taco night at home, with actual ground beef, a homemade spice mix that doesn't include corn flour or other adulterants, fresh tomato, Monterray Jack cheese, and fresh lettuce, on Trader Joe's taco shells. They are so INFINITELY tastier than Taco Bell that I really can't stand spending money on those nasty things any more.

/Their bean burrito is edible, and pretty much the most food you can get for 99 cents.
 
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