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(The New York Times)   Goldman Sachs banker accused of rape. Literal this time, not financial   (nytimes.com) divider line 50
    More: Dumbass, Goldman Sachs  
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3919 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Aug 2013 at 10:28 PM (48 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



50 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-08-22 09:12:37 PM
www.gq.com
 
2013-08-22 10:31:42 PM
Jump you farkers
 
2013-08-22 10:34:48 PM
So there are people at goldmen sachs?
 
2013-08-22 10:35:43 PM
knoji.com

DAMN YOU JASON LEE!!!!!

/would you like some chocolate covered pretzels?
 
2013-08-22 10:35:48 PM
FTFA:"While investigating, officers learned that a 20-year-old woman had been sexually assaulted inside the residence where several people had gathered," the East Hampton police said in the statement. "


Read: Cocaine-fueled, rich-people orgy gone wrong. Or gold-digger. Or both.
 
2013-08-22 10:38:57 PM
As a Goldman Sachs employee, I'm sure he'll be fired if they find out that raping someone was the most evil thing he did that day.
 
2013-08-22 10:41:01 PM
I have to wonder if this is a case of legitimate rape or not.  I know a lot of women are simply jumping at the opportunity to be "taken advantage of" by those of us who are well off enough that we'd be willing to pay some sex fiend a ripe sum of hush money just to make the accusations go away.  Not that I'm saying the slut(s) involved were doing that, it's not like I know the real facts of the case or bothered to read the linked article or that I'm making a point of any kind other.  I'm simply going by the preconceived stereotypes I've read and heard about regarding "rape" victims looking for a payday.  And sexism or some crap like that.  Don't blame the messenger, blame the dame.
 
2013-08-22 10:44:00 PM

MrHappyRotter: I have to wonder if this is a case of legitimate rape or not.  I know a lot of women are simply jumping at the opportunity to be "taken advantage of" by those of us who are well off enough that we'd be willing to pay some sex fiend a ripe sum of hush money just to make the accusations go away.  Not that I'm saying the slut(s) involved were doing that, it's not like I know the real facts of the case or bothered to read the linked article or that I'm making a point of any kind other.  I'm simply going by the preconceived stereotypes I've read and heard about regarding "rape" victims looking for a payday.  And sexism or some crap like that.  Don't blame the messenger, blame the dame.


Broads don't like being called dames, you sexist lout!
 
2013-08-22 10:47:20 PM

megarian: MrHappyRotter: I have to wonder if this is a case of legitimate rape or not.  I know a lot of women are simply jumping at the opportunity to be "taken advantage of" by those of us who are well off enough that we'd be willing to pay some sex fiend a ripe sum of hush money just to make the accusations go away.  Not that I'm saying the slut(s) involved were doing that, it's not like I know the real facts of the case or bothered to read the linked article or that I'm making a point of any kind other.  I'm simply going by the preconceived stereotypes I've read and heard about regarding "rape" victims looking for a payday.  And sexism or some crap like that.  Don't blame the messenger, blame the dame.

Broads don't like being called dames, you sexist lout!


"I don't know how many times I've told those boys, 'Never call chicks broads'."

www.i-mockery.com
 
gja [TotalFark]
2013-08-22 10:49:59 PM

megarian: MrHappyRotter: I have to wonder if this is a case of legitimate rape or not.  I know a lot of women are simply jumping at the opportunity to be "taken advantage of" by those of us who are well off enough that we'd be willing to pay some sex fiend a ripe sum of hush money just to make the accusations go away.  Not that I'm saying the slut(s) involved were doing that, it's not like I know the real facts of the case or bothered to read the linked article or that I'm making a point of any kind other.  I'm simply going by the preconceived stereotypes I've read and heard about regarding "rape" victims looking for a payday.  And sexism or some crap like that.  Don't blame the messenger, blame the dame.

Broads don't like being called dames, you sexist lout!


All you biatches gettin all uppity sheeeit. Ima lay my pimphand down on y'all.

/how dat?
 
2013-08-22 10:51:10 PM

gja: megarian: MrHappyRotter: I have to wonder if this is a case of legitimate rape or not.  I know a lot of women are simply jumping at the opportunity to be "taken advantage of" by those of us who are well off enough that we'd be willing to pay some sex fiend a ripe sum of hush money just to make the accusations go away.  Not that I'm saying the slut(s) involved were doing that, it's not like I know the real facts of the case or bothered to read the linked article or that I'm making a point of any kind other.  I'm simply going by the preconceived stereotypes I've read and heard about regarding "rape" victims looking for a payday.  And sexism or some crap like that.  Don't blame the messenger, blame the dame.

Broads don't like being called dames, you sexist lout!

All you biatches gettin all uppity sheeeit. Ima lay my pimphand down on y'all.

/how dat?


It's disrespectful to refer to those coonts as biatches.  You should be ashamed of yourself.

4/10
 
2013-08-22 10:51:10 PM
Evil banker rapes woman.

My first question: With his own dick?
 
2013-08-22 10:51:51 PM

Gyrfalcon: Evil banker rapes woman.

My first question: With his own dick?


Trick question, bankers don't have dicks.
 
2013-08-22 10:52:07 PM

megarian: MrHappyRotter: I have to wonder if this is a case of legitimate rape or not.  I know a lot of women are simply jumping at the opportunity to be "taken advantage of" by those of us who are well off enough that we'd be willing to pay some sex fiend a ripe sum of hush money just to make the accusations go away.  Not that I'm saying the slut(s) involved were doing that, it's not like I know the real facts of the case or bothered to read the linked article or that I'm making a point of any kind other.  I'm simply going by the preconceived stereotypes I've read and heard about regarding "rape" victims looking for a payday.  And sexism or some crap like that.  Don't blame the messenger, blame the dame.

Broads don't like being called dames, you sexist lout!


HEY!!! Chicks don't like being called broads ya dig?
 
gja [TotalFark]
2013-08-22 10:52:54 PM

Gyrfalcon: Evil banker rapes woman.

My first question: With his own dick?


Don't be gross. He leases it, like everything else in his life.

/with soft-dollars skimmed from his pool of basis points he is screwing investors blind for.....
 
2013-08-22 10:53:51 PM

albatros183: So there are people at goldmen sachs?


Reptilian overlords are similar to people.
 
2013-08-22 10:54:28 PM
So this is what it takes to put these bastards in prison.
Well if they violated the law once, then maybe they think they are not subject to the law.
 
2013-08-22 10:55:12 PM
Unauthorized night deposit?
 
2013-08-22 10:58:28 PM

itsaidwhat: Unauthorized night deposit?


Penalty for early withdrawal?
 
2013-08-22 11:00:54 PM

kendelrio: megarian: MrHappyRotter: I have to wonder if this is a case of legitimate rape or not.  I know a lot of women are simply jumping at the opportunity to be "taken advantage of" by those of us who are well off enough that we'd be willing to pay some sex fiend a ripe sum of hush money just to make the accusations go away.  Not that I'm saying the slut(s) involved were doing that, it's not like I know the real facts of the case or bothered to read the linked article or that I'm making a point of any kind other.  I'm simply going by the preconceived stereotypes I've read and heard about regarding "rape" victims looking for a payday.  And sexism or some crap like that.  Don't blame the messenger, blame the dame.

Broads don't like being called dames, you sexist lout!

HEY!!! Chicks don't like being called broads ya dig?


Unless they're showing off their gams.
 
2013-08-22 11:02:08 PM

MrHappyRotter: gja: megarian: MrHappyRotter: I have to wonder if this is a case of legitimate rape or not.  I know a lot of women are simply jumping at the opportunity to be "taken advantage of" by those of us who are well off enough that we'd be willing to pay some sex fiend a ripe sum of hush money just to make the accusations go away.  Not that I'm saying the slut(s) involved were doing that, it's not like I know the real facts of the case or bothered to read the linked article or that I'm making a point of any kind other.  I'm simply going by the preconceived stereotypes I've read and heard about regarding "rape" victims looking for a payday.  And sexism or some crap like that.  Don't blame the messenger, blame the dame.

Broads don't like being called dames, you sexist lout!

All you biatches gettin all uppity sheeeit. Ima lay my pimphand down on y'all.

/how dat?

It's disrespectful to refer to those coonts as biatches.  You should be ashamed of yourself.

4/10


We prefer twunts, ya insensitive prick.

3.14.../10
 
2013-08-22 11:02:29 PM
Blame the culture

i40.tinypic.com
 
2013-08-22 11:02:57 PM
If Jesus didn't want people to get raped, why didn't he encrypt our asses and vaginas?
 
2013-08-22 11:04:51 PM

albatros183: So there are people at goldmen sachs?


No, there aren't. Not people.
 
2013-08-22 11:06:16 PM
That's one.
 
2013-08-22 11:06:54 PM

thurstonxhowell: As a Goldman Sachs employee, I'm sure he'll be fired if they find out that raping someone was wasn't the most evil thing he did that day.


/ FTFY
 
gja [TotalFark]
2013-08-22 11:07:58 PM

megarian: MrHappyRotter: gja: megarian: MrHappyRotter: I have to wonder if this is a case of legitimate rape or not.  I know a lot of women are simply jumping at the opportunity to be "taken advantage of" by those of us who are well off enough that we'd be willing to pay some sex fiend a ripe sum of hush money just to make the accusations go away.  Not that I'm saying the slut(s) involved were doing that, it's not like I know the real facts of the case or bothered to read the linked article or that I'm making a point of any kind other.  I'm simply going by the preconceived stereotypes I've read and heard about regarding "rape" victims looking for a payday.  And sexism or some crap like that.  Don't blame the messenger, blame the dame.

Broads don't like being called dames, you sexist lout!

All you biatches gettin all uppity sheeeit. Ima lay my pimphand down on y'all.

/how dat?

It's disrespectful to refer to those coonts as biatches.  You should be ashamed of yourself.

4/10

We prefer twunts, ya insensitive prick.

3.14.../10


Pi?
But....I barely know ya.....

/sorry, that was bad and i feel bad for having went there.
//no, not really, because i am a guy and we ARE mostly dogs.....
 
2013-08-22 11:12:50 PM

gja: megarian: MrHappyRotter: gja: megarian: MrHappyRotter: I have to wonder if this is a case of legitimate rape or not.  I know a lot of women are simply jumping at the opportunity to be "taken advantage of" by those of us who are well off enough that we'd be willing to pay some sex fiend a ripe sum of hush money just to make the accusations go away.  Not that I'm saying the slut(s) involved were doing that, it's not like I know the real facts of the case or bothered to read the linked article or that I'm making a point of any kind other.  I'm simply going by the preconceived stereotypes I've read and heard about regarding "rape" victims looking for a payday.  And sexism or some crap like that.  Don't blame the messenger, blame the dame.

Broads don't like being called dames, you sexist lout!

All you biatches gettin all uppity sheeeit. Ima lay my pimphand down on y'all.

/how dat?

It's disrespectful to refer to those coonts as biatches.  You should be ashamed of yourself.

4/10

We prefer twunts, ya insensitive prick.

3.14.../10

Pi?
But....I barely know ya.....

/sorry, that was bad and i feel bad for having went there.
//no, not really, because i am a guy and we ARE mostly dogs.....


Well, I am a wimmin and we are mostly pie.


Fark. Now I want pie. And not the math or vagina kind.
 
2013-08-22 11:13:39 PM

megarian: .

Fark. Now I want pie. And not the math or vagina kind.


There are others?
 
2013-08-22 11:17:01 PM

MrHappyRotter: megarian: .

Fark. Now I want pie. And not the math or vagina kind.

There are others?


Oh...oh shiat I know this one. Fark. I wasn't prepared.

What time did the pies leave the stations? How fast was pie A going?

Can I use a calculator?
 
2013-08-22 11:17:05 PM

MrHappyRotter: megarian: .

Fark. Now I want pie. And not the math or vagina kind.

There are others?


There is cow.

And chicken pot.
 
2013-08-22 11:19:29 PM

K3rmy: MrHappyRotter: megarian: .

Fark. Now I want pie. And not the math or vagina kind.

There are others?

There is cow.

And chicken pot.


And moon.
 
2013-08-22 11:19:31 PM
Pie is delicious
 
2013-08-22 11:20:09 PM

K3rmy: MrHappyRotter: megarian: .

Fark. Now I want pie. And not the math or vagina kind.

There are others?

There is cow.

And chicken pot.


Don't forget the C's -- cream and cutie.
 
2013-08-22 11:22:29 PM
We're about the same age. Presumably he's an Ivy. I wonder if I knew the guy somehow
 
2013-08-22 11:24:29 PM

MrHappyRotter: K3rmy: MrHappyRotter: megarian: .

Fark. Now I want pie. And not the math or vagina kind.

There are others?

There is cow.

And chicken pot.

Don't forget the C's -- cream and cutie.


Yeah, but the GISs for "cream pie" and "cutie pie" yield very different ideas for "yum".
 
2013-08-22 11:25:43 PM

HaywoodJablonski: We're about the same age. Presumably he's an Ivy. I wonder if I knew the guy somehow


Penn. De facto state school.
 
2013-08-22 11:29:57 PM
In his defense, she was irresistible...

imgc.allpostersimages.com

/best I could find
//why yes, I do dislike Goldman $ach$
 
2013-08-22 11:33:15 PM
Hey Baby, I have accrued interest in you.  What's your availability policy?  Can I see your periodic statement?  I feel like doing a balance transfer, but don't worry, I have a certificate of release.  I want to issue a hold on your assets.  I'm experiencing inflation, I want to make a direct deposit, and I'm too big to fail.
 
2013-08-22 11:34:23 PM
And he was arrested? She must be the daughter of someone on the board of directors.
 
2013-08-22 11:35:02 PM

Precision Boobery: Hey Baby, I have accrued interest in you.  What's your availability policy?  Can I see your periodic statement?  I feel like doing a balance transfer, but don't worry, I have a certificate of release.  I want to issue a hold on your assets.  I'm experiencing inflation, I want to make a direct deposit, and I'm too big to fail.


Wow.
 
2013-08-22 11:35:07 PM

megarian: K3rmy: MrHappyRotter: megarian: .

Fark. Now I want pie. And not the math or vagina kind.

There are others?

There is cow.

And chicken pot.

And moon.


Yes, but the Moon Pie also requires the presence of an RC Cola. It's an entirely different pie altogether...
 
2013-08-22 11:35:30 PM
These are too good not to post in a bank hate thread:

dailybail.com0.tqn.com

/love political cartoons
 
2013-08-22 11:38:00 PM

UHC2005: megarian: K3rmy: MrHappyRotter: megarian: .

Fark. Now I want pie. And not the math or vagina kind.

There are others?

There is cow.

And chicken pot.

And moon.

Yes, but the Moon Pie also requires the presence of an RC Cola. It's an entirely different pie altogether...


Hm. Well, you're technically correct.

Which is the best kind of correct.
 
2013-08-22 11:40:18 PM
imageshack.com
 
2013-08-23 01:09:18 AM

MrHappyRotter: Gyrfalcon: Evil banker rapes woman.

My first question: With his own dick?

Trick question, bankers don't have dicks.


They have lawyers. Different thing?
 
2013-08-23 03:03:24 AM
t1.gstatic.com
 
2013-08-23 07:26:33 AM
Why didn't the woman just shut the whole thing down? I've heard they can do that.
 
2013-08-23 08:36:18 AM
I bet the horny mofo signed her up for an adjustable mortage and a NINJA loan. Pervert!
 
2013-08-23 06:37:33 PM

gja: megarian: MrHappyRotter: gja: megarian: MrHappyRotter: I have to wonder if this is a case of legitimate rape or not.  I know a lot of women are simply jumping at the opportunity to be "taken advantage of" by those of us who are well off enough that we'd be willing to pay some sex fiend a ripe sum of hush money just to make the accusations go away.  Not that I'm saying the slut(s) involved were doing that, it's not like I know the real facts of the case or bothered to read the linked article or that I'm making a point of any kind other.  I'm simply going by the preconceived stereotypes I've read and heard about regarding "rape" victims looking for a payday.  And sexism or some crap like that.  Don't blame the messenger, blame the dame.

Broads don't like being called dames, you sexist lout!

All you biatches gettin all uppity sheeeit. Ima lay my pimphand down on y'all.

/how dat?

It's disrespectful to refer to those coonts as biatches.  You should be ashamed of yourself.

4/10

We prefer twunts, ya insensitive prick.

3.14.../10

Pi?
But....I barely know ya.....

/sorry, that was bad and i feel bad for having went there.
//no, not really, because i am a guy and we ARE mostly dogs.....


Don't call me 'guy', buddy.
 
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