If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(The Onion)   The Onion ranks the top 10 wide receivers in the NFL   (theonion.com) divider line 84
    More: Amusing, NFL, wide receiver, Anquan Boldin, Dez Bryant, Julio Jones, Wes Welker, A.J. Green, Brandon Marshall  
•       •       •

4237 clicks; posted to Sports » on 22 Aug 2013 at 6:05 PM (46 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



84 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-08-22 06:08:44 PM
Currently watching #10. Also a punter just bounced a ball off the screen.
http://i291.photobucket.com/albums/ll293/treygreen13/null_zps39b92381 . jpg
 
2013-08-22 06:17:19 PM
Hrm.

For a satire site, that list was surprisingly accurate. Except for #10 belonging on the list.
 
2013-08-22 06:18:59 PM
More accurate than ESPN reviews have ever been.
 
2013-08-22 06:19:09 PM

xaks: Hrm.

For a satire site, that list was surprisingly accurate. Except for #10 belonging on the list.


It happens more often than i'd like.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/bush-our-long-national-nightmare-of -p eace-and-pros,464/
 
2013-08-22 06:19:17 PM

xaks: Hrm.

For a satire site, that list was surprisingly accurate. Except for #10 belonging on the list.


Dez had 1382 yards and 12 TD last season.
 
2013-08-22 06:19:19 PM

xaks: Hrm.

For a satire site, that list was surprisingly accurate. Except for #10 belonging on the list.


Also the part implying that Kapernackernick is a particularly good passer.
 
2013-08-22 06:20:50 PM
2. Larry Fitzgerald: Following his underwhelming 2012 season, Fitzgerald is hoping to come back in a big way thanks to the Cardinals' addition of ... Carson Palmer? Oh, man, he's f*cked.

/I lol'd
 
2013-08-22 06:21:51 PM

SacriliciousBeerSwiller: xaks: Hrm.

For a satire site, that list was surprisingly accurate. Except for #10 belonging on the list.

Also the part implying that Kapernackernick is a particularly good passer.


What? Didn't you hear Jaws say that he might be the greatest QB of all time? It's unpossible that he might not be that great of a passer.
 
2013-08-22 06:24:04 PM
They got Calvin Johnson perfectly.  Sadly :(

/Lions fan
 
2013-08-22 06:24:33 PM

xaks: For a satire site, that list was surprisingly accurate. Except for #10 belonging on the list.


You may have meant No. 8.

/love Boldin, have his jersey and all (it was steeply discounted and he led me to a FFB title a long time ago)...but he's nowhere near a top WR in the league at this point
 
2013-08-22 06:26:11 PM

IAmRight: xaks: For a satire site, that list was surprisingly accurate. Except for #10 belonging on the list.

You may have meant No. 8.

/love Boldin, have his jersey and all (it was steeply discounted and he led me to a FFB title a long time ago)...but he's nowhere near a top WR in the league at this point


He may get a boost from being the only standing NFL-caliber WR on the Niners, but yeah, he's not an elite WR anymore.
 
2013-08-22 06:34:43 PM
Shame Us:  He may get a boost from being the only standing NFL-caliber WR on the Niners, but yeah, he's not an elite WR anymore.

That trade was a sad day.  He is a clutch good guy.
 
2013-08-22 06:37:57 PM

Shame Us: SacriliciousBeerSwiller: xaks: Hrm.

For a satire site, that list was surprisingly accurate. Except for #10 belonging on the list.

Also the part implying that Kapernackernick is a particularly good passer.

What? Didn't you hear Jaws say that he might be the greatest QB of all time? It's unpossible that he might not be that great of a passer.


Imagine what Gruden would say
 
2013-08-22 06:39:29 PM
They need an entry for DeSean Jackson and an expose on all the hard work he's put in grasping the concept of a goal line.
 
2013-08-22 06:45:07 PM

Marcus Aurelius: They need an entry for DeSean Jackson and an expose on all the hard work he's put in grasping the concept of a goal line.


Just don't punt it to him. Right Giants?   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uf6UpiiLWaY
 
2013-08-22 06:45:12 PM

Shame Us: SacriliciousBeerSwiller: xaks: Hrm.

For a satire site, that list was surprisingly accurate. Except for #10 belonging on the list.

Also the part implying that Kapernackernick is a particularly good passer.

What? Didn't you hear Jaws say that he might be the greatest QB of all time? It's unpossible that he might not be that great of a passer.


More proof that Jaws should join one of those concussion lawsuits.
 
2013-08-22 06:47:30 PM

machoprogrammer: Shame Us: SacriliciousBeerSwiller: xaks: Hrm.

For a satire site, that list was surprisingly accurate. Except for #10 belonging on the list.

Also the part implying that Kapernackernick is a particularly good passer.

What? Didn't you hear Jaws say that he might be the greatest QB of all time? It's unpossible that he might not be that great of a passer.

Imagine what Gruden would say


Gruden is on the Russell Wilson train.
 
2013-08-22 06:49:25 PM

Tunk87: Shame Us: SacriliciousBeerSwiller: xaks: Hrm.

For a satire site, that list was surprisingly accurate. Except for #10 belonging on the list.

Also the part implying that Kapernackernick is a particularly good passer.

What? Didn't you hear Jaws say that he might be the greatest QB of all time? It's unpossible that he might not be that great of a passer.

More proof that Jaws should join one of those concussion lawsuits.


The talking heads have been going crazy lately. Jaws with his Kaep hyperbole, Gruden saying he'd trade a 1st rounder for Cousins, Phil Simms saying that 1) Andrew Luck doesn't have an NFL arm and 2) Russell Wilson is a system QB...we need to get some actual games going to give these guys something to talk about, becasue they're going insane.
 
2013-08-22 06:54:41 PM

Shame Us: Tunk87: Shame Us: SacriliciousBeerSwiller: xaks: Hrm.

For a satire site, that list was surprisingly accurate. Except for #10 belonging on the list.

Also the part implying that Kapernackernick is a particularly good passer.

What? Didn't you hear Jaws say that he might be the greatest QB of all time? It's unpossible that he might not be that great of a passer.

More proof that Jaws should join one of those concussion lawsuits.

The talking heads have been going crazy lately. Jaws with his Kaep hyperbole, Gruden saying he'd trade a 1st rounder for Cousins, Phil Simms saying that 1) Andrew Luck doesn't have an NFL arm and 2) Russell Wilson is a system QB...we need to get some actual games going to give these guys something to talk about, becasue they're going insane.


The crazy for me was hearing the MNF crew talking up OG RG3, I mean I'm all for dragons, but fark sake Grossman is an embarrasment to the nfl on par with the bills and browns.
 
2013-08-22 07:00:30 PM

SenorBenedict: I mean I'm all for dragons, but fark sake Grossman is an embarrasment to the nfl on par with the bills and browns.


Can't really say on par with the Browns...Grossman has made it to a Super Bowl.
 
2013-08-22 07:03:05 PM

IAmRight: SenorBenedict: I mean I'm all for dragons, but fark sake Grossman is an embarrasment to the nfl on par with the bills and browns.

Can't really say on par with the Browns...Grossman has made it to a Super Bowl.


Which still makes my eyes roll so hard I almost fall out of my chair. It'd be ridiculous, and I'd call you a blasphemer for even mentioning that abomination, but Dilfer won the damn thing to set a precedent.
 
2013-08-22 07:04:33 PM

Shame Us: machoprogrammer: Shame Us: SacriliciousBeerSwiller: xaks: Hrm.

For a satire site, that list was surprisingly accurate. Except for #10 belonging on the list.

Also the part implying that Kapernackernick is a particularly good passer.

What? Didn't you hear Jaws say that he might be the greatest QB of all time? It's unpossible that he might not be that great of a passer.

Imagine what Gruden would say

Gruden is on the Russell Wilson train.


Gruden is on the everybody train. Show him a picture of LP Ladouceur and he'll jizz his pants.
 
2013-08-22 07:08:15 PM

Treygreen13: Shame Us: machoprogrammer: Shame Us: SacriliciousBeerSwiller: xaks: Hrm.

For a satire site, that list was surprisingly accurate. Except for #10 belonging on the list.

Also the part implying that Kapernackernick is a particularly good passer.

What? Didn't you hear Jaws say that he might be the greatest QB of all time? It's unpossible that he might not be that great of a passer.

Imagine what Gruden would say

Gruden is on the Russell Wilson train.

Gruden is on the everybody train. Show him a picture of LP Ladouceur and he'll jizz his pants.


Yeah, but Wilson makes him feel like a real woman again.
 
2013-08-22 07:13:42 PM

IAmRight: SenorBenedict: I mean I'm all for dragons, but fark sake Grossman is an embarrasment to the nfl on par with the bills and browns.

Can't really say on par with the Browns...Grossman has made it to a Super Bowl.


Ouch.
 
2013-08-22 07:16:54 PM
So which one of the rookie qbs last year craters? I'm going to guess Luck, because Hasselbeck is a qb curse!
 
2013-08-22 07:21:15 PM

IAmRight: xaks: For a satire site, that list was surprisingly accurate. Except for #10 belonging on the list.

You may have meant No. 8.

/love Boldin, have his jersey and all (it was steeply discounted and he led me to a FFB title a long time ago)...but he's nowhere near a top WR in the league at this point


More or less, THIS. He is without a doubt, pretty far above average, but he isn't top 10. Hell, he is probably in the top 4-5 for possession WRs alone. I wouldn't mind having him, but I feel like he is entering the 'paycheck' ($$$ based on past performance with little room for improvement) end of his career.
 
2013-08-22 07:21:40 PM
1. larry craig
 
2013-08-22 07:21:54 PM

SenorBenedict: So which one of the rookie qbs last year craters? I'm going to guess Luck, because Hasselbeck is a qb curse!


I don't think any of them "crater". If you have to pick one whose number might dip, I'd go with RGIII because of the knee, obviously, but also because his numbers were ridiculously good. You'd think Luck's turnover numbers will get better in his 2nd year and Wilson's numbers will rise with the training wheels being off for an entire season. Tannehill could really go either way. It's not like Wallace is going to be a cure-all for that offense and they lost Bush and Long.
 
2013-08-22 07:22:48 PM

SacriliciousBeerSwiller: xaks: Hrm.

For a satire site, that list was surprisingly accurate. Except for #10 belonging on the list.

Also the part implying that Kapernackernick is a particularly good passer.


I think less of Tattoo being a good passer, more of Blake/McCown/Warner/Leinart/Flacco passes requiring a ridiculously talented WR to catch.

ymmv
 
2013-08-22 07:26:53 PM

Shame Us: SenorBenedict: So which one of the rookie qbs last year craters? I'm going to guess Luck, because Hasselbeck is a qb curse!

I don't think any of them "crater". If you have to pick one whose number might dip, I'd go with RGIII because of the knee, obviously, but also because his numbers were ridiculously good. You'd think Luck's turnover numbers will get better in his 2nd year and Wilson's numbers will rise with the training wheels being off for an entire season. Tannehill could really go either way. It's not like Wallace is going to be a cure-all for that offense and they lost Bush and Long.


Bobby Three Stick is going to lead the Redskins to a 13-3 season and a superbowl berth against the buffalo bills! Book it done!
 
2013-08-22 07:34:49 PM
I laughed hardest at the Julio Jones comment.  Kind of liked the Brandon Marshall comment too.

Agreed with above commentary that this is a surprisingly realistic list, except for the outlier at #8.
 
2013-08-22 07:37:11 PM

Shame Us: Which still makes my eyes roll so hard I almost fall out of my chair. It'd be ridiculous, and I'd call you a blasphemer for even mentioning that abomination, but Dilfer won the damn thing to set a precedent.


I don't care about that. Just wanted to cheap shot the Browns.

SenorBenedict: superbowl berth against the buffalo bills! Book it done!


Goddammit all your stinkin' Bills fan boards can talk about is sh*tty Da'Rick Rogers and whether or not he'll make the team/other people will get him. Brandon Kaufman had as many receiving yards last year as Rogers did in his last two, and he did it with a crappy transfer QB he'd never played with (who got replaced without being injured) and a true freshman at QB. And he's, yanno, actually made some plays this preseason.
 
2013-08-22 07:38:14 PM

IAmRight: Shame Us: Which still makes my eyes roll so hard I almost fall out of my chair. It'd be ridiculous, and I'd call you a blasphemer for even mentioning that abomination, but Dilfer won the damn thing to set a precedent.

I don't care about that. Just wanted to cheap shot the Browns.

SenorBenedict: superbowl berth against the buffalo bills! Book it done!

Goddammit all your stinkin' Bills fan boards can talk about is sh*tty Da'Rick Rogers and whether or not he'll make the team/other people will get him. Brandon Kaufman had as many receiving yards last year as Rogers did in his last two, and he did it with a crappy transfer QB he'd never played with (who got replaced without being injured) and a true freshman at QB. And he's, yanno, actually made some plays this preseason.


Bills fans are idiots, I mean we like the farking bills.
 
2013-08-22 07:40:16 PM

SenorBenedict: IAmRight: Shame Us: Which still makes my eyes roll so hard I almost fall out of my chair. It'd be ridiculous, and I'd call you a blasphemer for even mentioning that abomination, but Dilfer won the damn thing to set a precedent.

I don't care about that. Just wanted to cheap shot the Browns.

SenorBenedict: superbowl berth against the buffalo bills! Book it done!

Goddammit all your stinkin' Bills fan boards can talk about is sh*tty Da'Rick Rogers and whether or not he'll make the team/other people will get him. Brandon Kaufman had as many receiving yards last year as Rogers did in his last two, and he did it with a crappy transfer QB he'd never played with (who got replaced without being injured) and a true freshman at QB. And he's, yanno, actually made some plays this preseason.

Bills fans are idiots, I mean we like the farking bills.


Haven't you people figured out that they're cursed yet? How many playoff flameouts do you need to see before you realize that the Lord Himself has decreed that they shall not hoist the trophy?
 
2013-08-22 07:41:28 PM
Shame Us:

Haven't you people figured out that they're cursed yet? How many playoff flameouts do you need to see before you realize that the Lord Himself has decreed that they shall not hoist the trophy?

Look cancer man died, we figure they'll be ok now. At some point, maybe. Ok not really at all, but damn it!
 
2013-08-22 07:42:34 PM

Shame Us: Haven't you people figured out that they're cursed yet? How many playoff flameouts do you need to see before you realize that the Lord Himself has decreed that they shall not hoist the trophy?


I don't think us Seattle fans can talk about things like that.
 
2013-08-22 07:43:48 PM

IAmRight: Shame Us: Haven't you people figured out that they're cursed yet? How many playoff flameouts do you need to see before you realize that the Lord Himself has decreed that they shall not hoist the trophy?

I don't think us Seattle fans can talk about things like that.


Our flameouts aren't quite as spectacular. We've only even tasted it once. Also, we don't have a Miracle named after our failure.
 
2013-08-22 07:45:14 PM

Shame Us: IAmRight: Shame Us: Haven't you people figured out that they're cursed yet? How many playoff flameouts do you need to see before you realize that the Lord Himself has decreed that they shall not hoist the trophy?

I don't think us Seattle fans can talk about things like that.

Our flameouts aren't quite as spectacular. We've only even tasted it once. Also, we don't have a Miracle named after our failure.


*cough* Failmary *cough*

Just saying!
 
2013-08-22 07:46:16 PM

IAmRight: /love Boldin, have his jersey and all (it was steeply discounted and he led me to a FFB title a long time ago)...but he's nowhere near a top WR in the league at this point


Cards or Ravens?

Also, they probably hit the Fitzgerald nail on right on the head.
 
2013-08-22 07:48:22 PM

neuroflare: IAmRight: /love Boldin, have his jersey and all (it was steeply discounted and he led me to a FFB title a long time ago)...but he's nowhere near a top WR in the league at this point

Cards or Ravens?

Also, they probably hit the Fitzgerald nail on right on the head.


Wasn't Palmer decent on the horrific raiders last year? Or was that by comparison to the chiefs and chargers?
 
2013-08-22 07:51:07 PM

SenorBenedict: Shame Us: IAmRight: Shame Us: Haven't you people figured out that they're cursed yet? How many playoff flameouts do you need to see before you realize that the Lord Himself has decreed that they shall not hoist the trophy?

I don't think us Seattle fans can talk about things like that.

Our flameouts aren't quite as spectacular. We've only even tasted it once. Also, we don't have a Miracle named after our failure.

*cough* Failmary *cough*

Just saying!


We won that game.
 
2013-08-22 07:51:52 PM

SenorBenedict: neuroflare: IAmRight: /love Boldin, have his jersey and all (it was steeply discounted and he led me to a FFB title a long time ago)...but he's nowhere near a top WR in the league at this point

Cards or Ravens?

Also, they probably hit the Fitzgerald nail on right on the head.

Wasn't Palmer decent on the horrific raiders last year? Or was that by comparison to the chiefs and chargers?


like matt stafford, but with less yards and more ints
 
2013-08-22 07:53:44 PM
thecpt:

like matt stafford, but with less yards and more ints

Oh... oh no.
 
2013-08-22 07:54:43 PM

Treygreen13: xaks: Hrm.

For a satire site, that list was surprisingly accurate. Except for #10 belonging on the list.

Dez had 1382 yards and 12 TD last season.


Plus he really picked it up in the back half of the season. He pretty much dominated from the first Philly game through the rest of the year.
 
2013-08-22 07:55:16 PM

SenorBenedict: Wasn't Palmer decent on the horrific raiders last year? Or was that by comparison to the chiefs and chargers?


Yeah he was decent on OAK, I also bookmarked a thread where I said Palmer WILL do better in AZ this year than he did in OAK last year.
 
2013-08-22 07:55:40 PM

thecpt: SenorBenedict: neuroflare: IAmRight: /love Boldin, have his jersey and all (it was steeply discounted and he led me to a FFB title a long time ago)...but he's nowhere near a top WR in the league at this point

Cards or Ravens?

Also, they probably hit the Fitzgerald nail on right on the head.

Wasn't Palmer decent on the horrific raiders last year? Or was that by comparison to the chiefs and chargers?

like matt stafford, but with less yards and more ints


So Matt Stafford without Megatron.
 
2013-08-22 07:56:45 PM

thecpt: like matt stafford, but with less yards and more ints


A little fewer than 1000 yards less than Stafford and 3 fewer interceptions. Stafford had a receiving corps, too.
 
2013-08-22 07:56:47 PM

SenorBenedict: thecpt:

like matt stafford, but with less yards and more ints

Oh... oh no.


wait, checked my stats.  He had a better year than staffy in all of those categories and TDs.  He did have tremendous receiving talent though.  Not sure he'll have as many quality receivers this year, but be optimistic
 
2013-08-22 07:57:19 PM

Shame Us: thecpt: SenorBenedict: neuroflare: IAmRight: /love Boldin, have his jersey and all (it was steeply discounted and he led me to a FFB title a long time ago)...but he's nowhere near a top WR in the league at this point

Cards or Ravens?

Also, they probably hit the Fitzgerald nail on right on the head.

Wasn't Palmer decent on the horrific raiders last year? Or was that by comparison to the chiefs and chargers?

like matt stafford, but with less yards and more ints

So Matt Stafford without Megatron.


Matt Stafford without Megatron, is like Matt Stafford without Natty Ice nearby, its no life to live.
 
2013-08-22 07:59:48 PM
got damnit, got to quit doing this while I watch newsroom.  Staffy did do better int wise per attempt, and given the lions had Mikel leshore I wouldn't give Staffy grief for less TDs, but still good year for Carson.
 
2013-08-22 08:14:55 PM
i306.photobucket.com
 
2013-08-22 08:30:15 PM

neuroflare: Cards


Cards, I think it was right before they shipped him out and they knew he was going. It was like $25.
 
2013-08-22 08:48:35 PM

xaks: Hrm.

For a satire site, that list was surprisingly accurate. Except for #10 belonging on the list.


And AJ deserves to be either tied for 1 or a close 2nd, also am I the only one who doesn't get the Julio joke...?
 
2013-08-22 08:52:06 PM

IAmRight: neuroflare: Cards

Cards, I think it was right before they shipped him out and they knew he was going. It was like $25.


Damn, Edgerrin James jerseys never got that cheap that I saw.
 
2013-08-22 08:53:22 PM

Treygreen13: Shame Us: machoprogrammer: Shame Us: SacriliciousBeerSwiller: xaks: Hrm.

For a satire site, that list was surprisingly accurate. Except for #10 belonging on the list.

Also the part implying that Kapernackernick is a particularly good passer.

What? Didn't you hear Jaws say that he might be the greatest QB of all time? It's unpossible that he might not be that great of a passer.

Imagine what Gruden would say

Gruden is on the Russell Wilson train.

Gruden is on the everybody train. Show him a picture of LP Ladouceur and he'll jizz his pants.


Didn't gruden say he'd give up first round picks to get Matt Flynn?
 
2013-08-22 08:54:45 PM

steamingpile: xaks: Hrm.

For a satire site, that list was surprisingly accurate. Except for #10 belonging on the list.

And AJ deserves to be either tied for 1 or a close 2nd, also am I the only one who doesn't get the Julio joke...?


I thought it was a blow against rookie salaries, but then I didn't know this happened:
7/28/2011: Signed a four-year, $16.183 million contract. The deal is fully guaranteed, including a $10.27 million signing bonus. 2013: $1,846,250, 2014: $2,581,875, 2015: Free Agent

sooo not even going to have to perform for a contract this year.

anyone else get it?
 
2013-08-22 08:57:09 PM

steamingpile: Didn't gruden say he'd give up first round picks to get Matt Flynn?


Kirk Cousins, I think.
 
2013-08-22 08:58:12 PM

neuroflare: IAmRight: /love Boldin, have his jersey and all (it was steeply discounted and he led me to a FFB title a long time ago)...but he's nowhere near a top WR in the league at this point

Cards or Ravens?

Also, they probably hit the Fitzgerald nail on right on the head.


I got a very old cardinals one. Got it thanksgiving 2003. It's all pealed away and shiat and has become a night shirt.

/I've retired: adrien Wilson black alternate, DRC black alternate and Leinart white jersey.
 
2013-08-22 08:58:46 PM

Treygreen13: steamingpile: Didn't gruden say he'd give up first round picks to get Matt Flynn?

Kirk Cousins, I think.


Oh yeah, still a stupid comment any way you slice it, gruden is a moron and any team that hires him are bigger morons.
 
2013-08-22 09:02:01 PM

steamingpile: Treygreen13: steamingpile: Didn't gruden say he'd give up first round picks to get Matt Flynn?

Kirk Cousins, I think.

Oh yeah, still a stupid comment any way you slice it, gruden is a moron and any team that hires him are bigger morons.


I think it was the very next day Cousins went down with a foot sprain. He'll be ok but I think it was the universe punishing Gruden.
 
2013-08-22 09:07:08 PM

Treygreen13: steamingpile: Treygreen13: steamingpile: Didn't gruden say he'd give up first round picks to get Matt Flynn?

Kirk Cousins, I think.

Oh yeah, still a stupid comment any way you slice it, gruden is a moron and any team that hires him are bigger morons.

I think it was the very next day Cousins went down with a foot sprain. He'll be ok but I think it was the universe punishing Gruden.


Cousins may be good in the long run from what I remember he was good in college but first round picks? What an idiot, at best a 3rd rounder for someone so unproven.
 
2013-08-22 09:18:40 PM

steamingpile: Cousins may be good in the long run from what I remember he was good in college but first round picks? What an idiot, at best a 3rd rounder for someone so unproven.


I think you're an SEC fan, but did you follow any Big 10 or at least watch the 2012 (2011 season) UGA MSU game?  He made them a team that could beat Georgia in a bowl game, and without him they forgot that the endzone is by the scoreboard (31 pts/game fell to 20 pts/game, and yes they still had le'veon bell after he left).  Look up his Big ten speech on youtube to see that he is a well spoken leader.
 
2013-08-22 09:19:06 PM

IAmRight: xaks: For a satire site, that list was surprisingly accurate. Except for #10 belonging on the list.

You may have meant No. 8.

/love Boldin, have his jersey and all (it was steeply discounted and he led me to a FFB title a long time ago)...but he's nowhere near a top WR in the league at this point


Dammit, i agree with this. Was mildly shocked to see him in the top 10 at all along with his former teammate Fitz at #2.  I think Fitz should be around #5, ahead of Welker behind Green.  He was a huge deal in a keeper league when i had both him and Fitz and then went to be WR1 for Flacco.  I never thought he got enough credit at Arizona.
 
2013-08-22 09:25:04 PM

machoprogrammer: Shame Us: SacriliciousBeerSwiller: xaks: Hrm.

For a satire site, that list was surprisingly accurate. Except for #10 belonging on the list.

Also the part implying that Kapernackernick is a particularly good passer.

What? Didn't you hear Jaws say that he might be the greatest QB of all time? It's unpossible that he might not be that great of a passer.

Imagine what Gruden would say


"This guy...this guy right there. This guy really impressed me this week when I sat down with him, Mike. He reminds me of a guy we had in Tampa named Keenan McCardell.  He's strong and damn if he couldn't run a z-right fly from the getgo, this guy."
 
2013-08-22 09:26:19 PM

thecpt: steamingpile: Cousins may be good in the long run from what I remember he was good in college but first round picks? What an idiot, at best a 3rd rounder for someone so unproven.

I think you're an SEC fan, but did you follow any Big 10 or at least watch the 2012 (2011 season) UGA MSU game?  He made them a team that could beat Georgia in a bowl game, and without him they forgot that the endzone is by the scoreboard (31 pts/game fell to 20 pts/game, and yes they still had le'veon bell after he left).  Look up his Big ten speech on youtube to see that he is a well spoken leader.


I said he was good in college geez big 10 people!

Still that was a crappy UGA team and if Willie was still coaching the defense then every QB looked like heisman trophy winners. God Willie was a terrible coach, its one of richts biggest flaws, too forgiving of shiatty performances.
 
2013-08-22 09:39:55 PM

steamingpile: thecpt: steamingpile: Cousins may be good in the long run from what I remember he was good in college but first round picks? What an idiot, at best a 3rd rounder for someone so unproven.

I think you're an SEC fan, but did you follow any Big 10 or at least watch the 2012 (2011 season) UGA MSU game?  He made them a team that could beat Georgia in a bowl game, and without him they forgot that the endzone is by the scoreboard (31 pts/game fell to 20 pts/game, and yes they still had le'veon bell after he left).  Look up his Big ten speech on youtube to see that he is a well spoken leader.

I said he was good in college geez big 10 people!

Still that was a crappy UGA team and if Willie was still coaching the defense then every QB looked like heisman trophy winners. God Willie was a terrible coach, its one of richts biggest flaws, too forgiving of shiatty performances.


I was just letting you know you were right, but more than you can imagine.  MSU was beat in that game too, UGA let them creep back in with disbelief that the Spartans didn't let Big Ten bowl game self fulfilling prophecy do themselves in.

From the little time I've seen Cousins play in the NFL, I think he has looked really good.  ESPN keeps bringing up his 3-10 performance when he filled in for RG3 during the playoffs which is completely out of context.  The redskins were losing, Seattle's d is one of the best, and other players constantly set back the O in down and distance. Easily 4 of those incompletions were from Seattle sending 7 and the deadskin line not being covered by qb mobility.

Not defending Gruden btw.  That guy loves lamp.
 
2013-08-22 10:10:38 PM

thecpt: steamingpile: thecpt: steamingpile: Cousins may be good in the long run from what I remember he was good in college but first round picks? What an idiot, at best a 3rd rounder for someone so unproven.

I think you're an SEC fan, but did you follow any Big 10 or at least watch the 2012 (2011 season) UGA MSU game?  He made them a team that could beat Georgia in a bowl game, and without him they forgot that the endzone is by the scoreboard (31 pts/game fell to 20 pts/game, and yes they still had le'veon bell after he left).  Look up his Big ten speech on youtube to see that he is a well spoken leader.

I said he was good in college geez big 10 people!

Still that was a crappy UGA team and if Willie was still coaching the defense then every QB looked like heisman trophy winners. God Willie was a terrible coach, its one of richts biggest flaws, too forgiving of shiatty performances.

I was just letting you know you were right, but more than you can imagine.  MSU was beat in that game too, UGA let them creep back in with disbelief that the Spartans didn't let Big Ten bowl game self fulfilling prophecy do themselves in.

From the little time I've seen Cousins play in the NFL, I think he has looked really good.  ESPN keeps bringing up his 3-10 performance when he filled in for RG3 during the playoffs which is completely out of context.  The redskins were losing, Seattle's d is one of the best, and other players constantly set back the O in down and distance. Easily 4 of those incompletions were from Seattle sending 7 and the deadskin line not being covered by qb mobility.

Not defending Gruden btw.  That guy loves lamp.


Yeah, that was Grantham's first year with his guys and the learning curve was bad, I remember uga going ahead early then screwing around like Richt always does. Give that man a 10 point lead and he acts like the game is over, I wished he would have listened to Bowden more and learned to stomp teams when he was ahead. This is painful but its the one thing I like about Spurrier, he keeps whipping that pony till its dead, still he's an arrogant ass and I'm sure he's dirty but has just never got caught.
 
2013-08-22 10:30:59 PM
steamingpile:Cousins may be good in the long run from what I remember he was good in college but first round picks? What an idiot, at best a 3rd rounder for someone so unproven.

I disagree. There are about 20 starting caliber QBs in a 32 team league. Why do you think the Chiefs paid so much for Cassel? Based on currency of the league and value if he succeeds, I would say depending on where you're drafting, based on his limited performance, he's easily worth a late first round (Chris Ponder)/early second round pick (Tarvaris Jackson)...
 
2013-08-22 10:44:15 PM

This Looks Fun: steamingpile:Cousins may be good in the long run from what I remember he was good in college but first round picks? What an idiot, at best a 3rd rounder for someone so unproven.

I disagree. There are about 20 starting caliber QBs in a 32 team league. Why do you think the Chiefs paid so much for Cassel? Based on currency of the league and value if he succeeds, I would say depending on where you're drafting, based on his limited performance, he's easily worth a late first round (Chris Ponder)/early second round pick (Tarvaris Jackson)...


I don't know,  he's not better than a third round (Wilson) and definitely not better than a sixth rounder (Brady).

/that got weird
 
2013-08-22 10:55:40 PM
Their QB list was better, having "2005 Carson Palmer" #8:

http://www.theonion.com/articles/the-nfls-top-10-quarterbacks,33462/
 
2013-08-22 10:58:21 PM
This has turned into a QB thread, and that's fine, but the WR list is pretty good. I wouldn't include Boldin or Welker though, but add Demaryius Thomas and Roddy White.
 
2013-08-23 12:01:30 AM
6. Wes Welker: All he has to do is connect with Peyton Manning for a touchdown against the Patriots in Foxborough so we can see Tom Brady's reaction. That's it. That's all we care about.

After being denied my Brady/Manning AFC title matchup last season, maximum this.
 
2013-08-23 04:14:36 AM
3. Andre Johnson: Johnson is once again expected to have an outstanding season that ultimately means nothing

2. Larry Fitzgerald: Following his underwhelming 2012 season, Fitzgerald is hoping to come back in a big way thanks to the Cardinals' addition of ... Carson Palmer? Oh, man, he's farked

1. Calvin Johnson: With his size, speed, and tremendous athleticism, Lions fans can expect Johnson to carry their team tantalizingly close to the playoffs this year


All three were lulz.
 
2013-08-23 07:37:52 AM

IAmRight: xaks: For a satire site, that list was surprisingly accurate. Except for #10 belonging on the list.

You may have meant No. 8.

/love Boldin, have his jersey and all (it was steeply discounted and he led me to a FFB title a long time ago)...but he's nowhere near a top WR in the league at this point


#10 deserves, Boldin does not.

Where is roddy white?
 
2013-08-23 08:42:16 AM

IAmRight: SenorBenedict: I mean I'm all for dragons, but fark sake Grossman is an embarrasment to the nfl on par with the bills and browns.

Can't really say on par with the Browns...Grossman has made it to a Super Bowl.


What's crazy is that he might be wearing a ring if Tommie Harris hadn't hurt his hamstring.
 
2013-08-23 08:57:49 AM

Treygreen13: xaks: Hrm.

For a satire site, that list was surprisingly accurate. Except for #10 belonging on the list.

Dez had 1382 yards and 12 TD last season.


BUT ITS A COWBOY. I DONT LIKE COWBOYS SO THEYRE STATS ARE INVALID.
 
2013-08-23 09:10:38 AM

This Looks Fun: steamingpile:Cousins may be good in the long run from what I remember he was good in college but first round picks? What an idiot, at best a 3rd rounder for someone so unproven.

I disagree. There are about 20 starting caliber QBs in a 32 team league. Why do you think the Chiefs paid so much for Cassel? Based on currency of the league and value if he succeeds, I would say depending on where you're drafting, based on his limited performance, he's easily worth a late first round (Chris Ponder)/early second round pick (Tarvaris Jackson)...


Yes and here's the problem, do you know he's a starting NFL QB? There is no way to know for sure since he has not had an extensive sample to pull from in his short time. Cassel was a starter for a full year and looked impressive so that argument is not valid, Flynn had 2-4 starts in GB that looked decent to great.

There is no reason to give up a first rounder for someone so unproven at this time.
 
2013-08-23 09:28:26 AM
Read the Andre Johnson and hung my head in glum acceptance
 
2013-08-23 09:38:00 AM
As a Hawks fan that's watch many Seattle/Arizona games I have to say that Fitz is the best.
Seems like a good guy in general.
 
2013-08-23 10:25:44 AM

SlothB77: IAmRight: xaks: For a satire site, that list was surprisingly accurate. Except for #10 belonging on the list.

You may have meant No. 8.

/love Boldin, have his jersey and all (it was steeply discounted and he led me to a FFB title a long time ago)...but he's nowhere near a top WR in the league at this point

#10 deserves, Boldin does not.

Where is roddy white?


You guys are missing the point. Never miss out on an opportunity to take a pot shot at Flacco.  That's all the main reason why Boldin is listed, not his on the field abilities.
 
2013-08-23 10:37:49 AM

steamingpile: Yes and here's the problem, do you know he's a starting NFL QB? There is no way to know for sure since he has not had an extensive sample to pull from in his short time. Cassel was a starter for a full year and looked impressive so that argument is not valid, Flynn had 2-4 starts in GB that looked decent to great.

There is no reason to give up a first rounder for someone so unproven at this time.


There are no proven starters who have not started. But you have to take someone in the first round. I'd rather take a guy who's seen some NFL action and done well than the 4th best QB in a college draft. Fact: Cousins has played better in the NFL than any QB in college right now. That might sound stupid, but it's true. Since there's no guarantee a 1st rounder will pan out, I'd rather use it on someone I at least know can complete a pass down the field in the NFL. I'd give any 1st rounder past 15 for him.
 
2013-08-23 11:22:20 AM

Orgasmatron138: What's crazy is that he might be wearing a ring if Tommie Harris hadn't hurt his hamstring.


Or if someone stayed within 30 yards of Reggie Wayne on that one play.

litespeed74: As a Hawks fan that's watch many Seattle/Arizona games I have to say that Fitz is the best.
Seems like a good guy in general.


After seeing Wilson throw to him in the Pro Bowl it was like PLEEEAAAAASE COME TO SEATTLE FITZ.
 
2013-08-23 03:04:28 PM

This Looks Fun: steamingpile: Yes and here's the problem, do you know he's a starting NFL QB? There is no way to know for sure since he has not had an extensive sample to pull from in his short time. Cassel was a starter for a full year and looked impressive so that argument is not valid, Flynn had 2-4 starts in GB that looked decent to great.

There is no reason to give up a first rounder for someone so unproven at this time.

There are no proven starters who have not started. But you have to take someone in the first round. I'd rather take a guy who's seen some NFL action and done well than the 4th best QB in a college draft. Fact: Cousins has played better in the NFL than any QB in college right now. That might sound stupid, but it's true. Since there's no guarantee a 1st rounder will pan out, I'd rather use it on someone I at least know can complete a pass down the field in the NFL. I'd give any 1st rounder past 15 for him.


That's not the argument, its about trading away picks for an unproven and that's plural because most teams will want more than one pick. That is how a hot commodity works, when Atlanta got rid of schaub they got back 2-3 picks. It worked OK for the Texans but when someone has 48PA then its a huge gamble.
 
2013-08-23 03:41:22 PM

steamingpile: That's not the argument, its about trading away picks for an unproven and that's plural because most teams will want more than one pick. That is how a hot commodity works, when Atlanta got rid of schaub they got back 2-3 picks. It worked OK for the Texans but when someone has 48PA then its a huge gamble.


Eh... Drafting is a huge gamble and you're doing that with 0PA. You're either using draft picks on an unproven commodity or trading them FOR an unproven commodity. I don't really see a difference, but I thought the Schaub trade was a good one. I thought KC got fleeced for Cassel, but a lot of people thought his play for one season earned him that. I don't think we'll agree on this, which is fine.
 
Displayed 84 of 84 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report