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(The Onion)   The Onion ranks the top 10 wide receivers in the NFL   (theonion.com) divider line 84
    More: Amusing, NFL, wide receiver, Anquan Boldin, Dez Bryant, Julio Jones, Wes Welker, A.J. Green, Brandon Marshall  
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4237 clicks; posted to Sports » on 22 Aug 2013 at 6:05 PM (45 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-08-22 06:08:44 PM
Currently watching #10. Also a punter just bounced a ball off the screen.
http://i291.photobucket.com/albums/ll293/treygreen13/null_zps39b92381 . jpg
 
2013-08-22 06:17:19 PM
Hrm.

For a satire site, that list was surprisingly accurate. Except for #10 belonging on the list.
 
2013-08-22 06:18:59 PM
More accurate than ESPN reviews have ever been.
 
2013-08-22 06:19:09 PM

xaks: Hrm.

For a satire site, that list was surprisingly accurate. Except for #10 belonging on the list.


It happens more often than i'd like.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/bush-our-long-national-nightmare-of -p eace-and-pros,464/
 
2013-08-22 06:19:17 PM

xaks: Hrm.

For a satire site, that list was surprisingly accurate. Except for #10 belonging on the list.


Dez had 1382 yards and 12 TD last season.
 
2013-08-22 06:19:19 PM

xaks: Hrm.

For a satire site, that list was surprisingly accurate. Except for #10 belonging on the list.


Also the part implying that Kapernackernick is a particularly good passer.
 
2013-08-22 06:20:50 PM
2. Larry Fitzgerald: Following his underwhelming 2012 season, Fitzgerald is hoping to come back in a big way thanks to the Cardinals' addition of ... Carson Palmer? Oh, man, he's f*cked.

/I lol'd
 
2013-08-22 06:21:51 PM

SacriliciousBeerSwiller: xaks: Hrm.

For a satire site, that list was surprisingly accurate. Except for #10 belonging on the list.

Also the part implying that Kapernackernick is a particularly good passer.


What? Didn't you hear Jaws say that he might be the greatest QB of all time? It's unpossible that he might not be that great of a passer.
 
2013-08-22 06:24:04 PM
They got Calvin Johnson perfectly.  Sadly :(

/Lions fan
 
2013-08-22 06:24:33 PM

xaks: For a satire site, that list was surprisingly accurate. Except for #10 belonging on the list.


You may have meant No. 8.

/love Boldin, have his jersey and all (it was steeply discounted and he led me to a FFB title a long time ago)...but he's nowhere near a top WR in the league at this point
 
2013-08-22 06:26:11 PM

IAmRight: xaks: For a satire site, that list was surprisingly accurate. Except for #10 belonging on the list.

You may have meant No. 8.

/love Boldin, have his jersey and all (it was steeply discounted and he led me to a FFB title a long time ago)...but he's nowhere near a top WR in the league at this point


He may get a boost from being the only standing NFL-caliber WR on the Niners, but yeah, he's not an elite WR anymore.
 
2013-08-22 06:34:43 PM
Shame Us:  He may get a boost from being the only standing NFL-caliber WR on the Niners, but yeah, he's not an elite WR anymore.

That trade was a sad day.  He is a clutch good guy.
 
2013-08-22 06:37:57 PM

Shame Us: SacriliciousBeerSwiller: xaks: Hrm.

For a satire site, that list was surprisingly accurate. Except for #10 belonging on the list.

Also the part implying that Kapernackernick is a particularly good passer.

What? Didn't you hear Jaws say that he might be the greatest QB of all time? It's unpossible that he might not be that great of a passer.


Imagine what Gruden would say
 
2013-08-22 06:39:29 PM
They need an entry for DeSean Jackson and an expose on all the hard work he's put in grasping the concept of a goal line.
 
2013-08-22 06:45:07 PM

Marcus Aurelius: They need an entry for DeSean Jackson and an expose on all the hard work he's put in grasping the concept of a goal line.


Just don't punt it to him. Right Giants?   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uf6UpiiLWaY
 
2013-08-22 06:45:12 PM

Shame Us: SacriliciousBeerSwiller: xaks: Hrm.

For a satire site, that list was surprisingly accurate. Except for #10 belonging on the list.

Also the part implying that Kapernackernick is a particularly good passer.

What? Didn't you hear Jaws say that he might be the greatest QB of all time? It's unpossible that he might not be that great of a passer.


More proof that Jaws should join one of those concussion lawsuits.
 
2013-08-22 06:47:30 PM

machoprogrammer: Shame Us: SacriliciousBeerSwiller: xaks: Hrm.

For a satire site, that list was surprisingly accurate. Except for #10 belonging on the list.

Also the part implying that Kapernackernick is a particularly good passer.

What? Didn't you hear Jaws say that he might be the greatest QB of all time? It's unpossible that he might not be that great of a passer.

Imagine what Gruden would say


Gruden is on the Russell Wilson train.
 
2013-08-22 06:49:25 PM

Tunk87: Shame Us: SacriliciousBeerSwiller: xaks: Hrm.

For a satire site, that list was surprisingly accurate. Except for #10 belonging on the list.

Also the part implying that Kapernackernick is a particularly good passer.

What? Didn't you hear Jaws say that he might be the greatest QB of all time? It's unpossible that he might not be that great of a passer.

More proof that Jaws should join one of those concussion lawsuits.


The talking heads have been going crazy lately. Jaws with his Kaep hyperbole, Gruden saying he'd trade a 1st rounder for Cousins, Phil Simms saying that 1) Andrew Luck doesn't have an NFL arm and 2) Russell Wilson is a system QB...we need to get some actual games going to give these guys something to talk about, becasue they're going insane.
 
2013-08-22 06:54:41 PM

Shame Us: Tunk87: Shame Us: SacriliciousBeerSwiller: xaks: Hrm.

For a satire site, that list was surprisingly accurate. Except for #10 belonging on the list.

Also the part implying that Kapernackernick is a particularly good passer.

What? Didn't you hear Jaws say that he might be the greatest QB of all time? It's unpossible that he might not be that great of a passer.

More proof that Jaws should join one of those concussion lawsuits.

The talking heads have been going crazy lately. Jaws with his Kaep hyperbole, Gruden saying he'd trade a 1st rounder for Cousins, Phil Simms saying that 1) Andrew Luck doesn't have an NFL arm and 2) Russell Wilson is a system QB...we need to get some actual games going to give these guys something to talk about, becasue they're going insane.


The crazy for me was hearing the MNF crew talking up OG RG3, I mean I'm all for dragons, but fark sake Grossman is an embarrasment to the nfl on par with the bills and browns.
 
2013-08-22 07:00:30 PM

SenorBenedict: I mean I'm all for dragons, but fark sake Grossman is an embarrasment to the nfl on par with the bills and browns.


Can't really say on par with the Browns...Grossman has made it to a Super Bowl.
 
2013-08-22 07:03:05 PM

IAmRight: SenorBenedict: I mean I'm all for dragons, but fark sake Grossman is an embarrasment to the nfl on par with the bills and browns.

Can't really say on par with the Browns...Grossman has made it to a Super Bowl.


Which still makes my eyes roll so hard I almost fall out of my chair. It'd be ridiculous, and I'd call you a blasphemer for even mentioning that abomination, but Dilfer won the damn thing to set a precedent.
 
2013-08-22 07:04:33 PM

Shame Us: machoprogrammer: Shame Us: SacriliciousBeerSwiller: xaks: Hrm.

For a satire site, that list was surprisingly accurate. Except for #10 belonging on the list.

Also the part implying that Kapernackernick is a particularly good passer.

What? Didn't you hear Jaws say that he might be the greatest QB of all time? It's unpossible that he might not be that great of a passer.

Imagine what Gruden would say

Gruden is on the Russell Wilson train.


Gruden is on the everybody train. Show him a picture of LP Ladouceur and he'll jizz his pants.
 
2013-08-22 07:08:15 PM

Treygreen13: Shame Us: machoprogrammer: Shame Us: SacriliciousBeerSwiller: xaks: Hrm.

For a satire site, that list was surprisingly accurate. Except for #10 belonging on the list.

Also the part implying that Kapernackernick is a particularly good passer.

What? Didn't you hear Jaws say that he might be the greatest QB of all time? It's unpossible that he might not be that great of a passer.

Imagine what Gruden would say

Gruden is on the Russell Wilson train.

Gruden is on the everybody train. Show him a picture of LP Ladouceur and he'll jizz his pants.


Yeah, but Wilson makes him feel like a real woman again.
 
2013-08-22 07:13:42 PM

IAmRight: SenorBenedict: I mean I'm all for dragons, but fark sake Grossman is an embarrasment to the nfl on par with the bills and browns.

Can't really say on par with the Browns...Grossman has made it to a Super Bowl.


Ouch.
 
2013-08-22 07:16:54 PM
So which one of the rookie qbs last year craters? I'm going to guess Luck, because Hasselbeck is a qb curse!
 
2013-08-22 07:21:15 PM

IAmRight: xaks: For a satire site, that list was surprisingly accurate. Except for #10 belonging on the list.

You may have meant No. 8.

/love Boldin, have his jersey and all (it was steeply discounted and he led me to a FFB title a long time ago)...but he's nowhere near a top WR in the league at this point


More or less, THIS. He is without a doubt, pretty far above average, but he isn't top 10. Hell, he is probably in the top 4-5 for possession WRs alone. I wouldn't mind having him, but I feel like he is entering the 'paycheck' ($$$ based on past performance with little room for improvement) end of his career.
 
2013-08-22 07:21:40 PM
1. larry craig
 
2013-08-22 07:21:54 PM

SenorBenedict: So which one of the rookie qbs last year craters? I'm going to guess Luck, because Hasselbeck is a qb curse!


I don't think any of them "crater". If you have to pick one whose number might dip, I'd go with RGIII because of the knee, obviously, but also because his numbers were ridiculously good. You'd think Luck's turnover numbers will get better in his 2nd year and Wilson's numbers will rise with the training wheels being off for an entire season. Tannehill could really go either way. It's not like Wallace is going to be a cure-all for that offense and they lost Bush and Long.
 
2013-08-22 07:22:48 PM

SacriliciousBeerSwiller: xaks: Hrm.

For a satire site, that list was surprisingly accurate. Except for #10 belonging on the list.

Also the part implying that Kapernackernick is a particularly good passer.


I think less of Tattoo being a good passer, more of Blake/McCown/Warner/Leinart/Flacco passes requiring a ridiculously talented WR to catch.

ymmv
 
2013-08-22 07:26:53 PM

Shame Us: SenorBenedict: So which one of the rookie qbs last year craters? I'm going to guess Luck, because Hasselbeck is a qb curse!

I don't think any of them "crater". If you have to pick one whose number might dip, I'd go with RGIII because of the knee, obviously, but also because his numbers were ridiculously good. You'd think Luck's turnover numbers will get better in his 2nd year and Wilson's numbers will rise with the training wheels being off for an entire season. Tannehill could really go either way. It's not like Wallace is going to be a cure-all for that offense and they lost Bush and Long.


Bobby Three Stick is going to lead the Redskins to a 13-3 season and a superbowl berth against the buffalo bills! Book it done!
 
2013-08-22 07:34:49 PM
I laughed hardest at the Julio Jones comment.  Kind of liked the Brandon Marshall comment too.

Agreed with above commentary that this is a surprisingly realistic list, except for the outlier at #8.
 
2013-08-22 07:37:11 PM

Shame Us: Which still makes my eyes roll so hard I almost fall out of my chair. It'd be ridiculous, and I'd call you a blasphemer for even mentioning that abomination, but Dilfer won the damn thing to set a precedent.


I don't care about that. Just wanted to cheap shot the Browns.

SenorBenedict: superbowl berth against the buffalo bills! Book it done!


Goddammit all your stinkin' Bills fan boards can talk about is sh*tty Da'Rick Rogers and whether or not he'll make the team/other people will get him. Brandon Kaufman had as many receiving yards last year as Rogers did in his last two, and he did it with a crappy transfer QB he'd never played with (who got replaced without being injured) and a true freshman at QB. And he's, yanno, actually made some plays this preseason.
 
2013-08-22 07:38:14 PM

IAmRight: Shame Us: Which still makes my eyes roll so hard I almost fall out of my chair. It'd be ridiculous, and I'd call you a blasphemer for even mentioning that abomination, but Dilfer won the damn thing to set a precedent.

I don't care about that. Just wanted to cheap shot the Browns.

SenorBenedict: superbowl berth against the buffalo bills! Book it done!

Goddammit all your stinkin' Bills fan boards can talk about is sh*tty Da'Rick Rogers and whether or not he'll make the team/other people will get him. Brandon Kaufman had as many receiving yards last year as Rogers did in his last two, and he did it with a crappy transfer QB he'd never played with (who got replaced without being injured) and a true freshman at QB. And he's, yanno, actually made some plays this preseason.


Bills fans are idiots, I mean we like the farking bills.
 
2013-08-22 07:40:16 PM

SenorBenedict: IAmRight: Shame Us: Which still makes my eyes roll so hard I almost fall out of my chair. It'd be ridiculous, and I'd call you a blasphemer for even mentioning that abomination, but Dilfer won the damn thing to set a precedent.

I don't care about that. Just wanted to cheap shot the Browns.

SenorBenedict: superbowl berth against the buffalo bills! Book it done!

Goddammit all your stinkin' Bills fan boards can talk about is sh*tty Da'Rick Rogers and whether or not he'll make the team/other people will get him. Brandon Kaufman had as many receiving yards last year as Rogers did in his last two, and he did it with a crappy transfer QB he'd never played with (who got replaced without being injured) and a true freshman at QB. And he's, yanno, actually made some plays this preseason.

Bills fans are idiots, I mean we like the farking bills.


Haven't you people figured out that they're cursed yet? How many playoff flameouts do you need to see before you realize that the Lord Himself has decreed that they shall not hoist the trophy?
 
2013-08-22 07:41:28 PM
Shame Us:

Haven't you people figured out that they're cursed yet? How many playoff flameouts do you need to see before you realize that the Lord Himself has decreed that they shall not hoist the trophy?

Look cancer man died, we figure they'll be ok now. At some point, maybe. Ok not really at all, but damn it!
 
2013-08-22 07:42:34 PM

Shame Us: Haven't you people figured out that they're cursed yet? How many playoff flameouts do you need to see before you realize that the Lord Himself has decreed that they shall not hoist the trophy?


I don't think us Seattle fans can talk about things like that.
 
2013-08-22 07:43:48 PM

IAmRight: Shame Us: Haven't you people figured out that they're cursed yet? How many playoff flameouts do you need to see before you realize that the Lord Himself has decreed that they shall not hoist the trophy?

I don't think us Seattle fans can talk about things like that.


Our flameouts aren't quite as spectacular. We've only even tasted it once. Also, we don't have a Miracle named after our failure.
 
2013-08-22 07:45:14 PM

Shame Us: IAmRight: Shame Us: Haven't you people figured out that they're cursed yet? How many playoff flameouts do you need to see before you realize that the Lord Himself has decreed that they shall not hoist the trophy?

I don't think us Seattle fans can talk about things like that.

Our flameouts aren't quite as spectacular. We've only even tasted it once. Also, we don't have a Miracle named after our failure.


*cough* Failmary *cough*

Just saying!
 
2013-08-22 07:46:16 PM

IAmRight: /love Boldin, have his jersey and all (it was steeply discounted and he led me to a FFB title a long time ago)...but he's nowhere near a top WR in the league at this point


Cards or Ravens?

Also, they probably hit the Fitzgerald nail on right on the head.
 
2013-08-22 07:48:22 PM

neuroflare: IAmRight: /love Boldin, have his jersey and all (it was steeply discounted and he led me to a FFB title a long time ago)...but he's nowhere near a top WR in the league at this point

Cards or Ravens?

Also, they probably hit the Fitzgerald nail on right on the head.


Wasn't Palmer decent on the horrific raiders last year? Or was that by comparison to the chiefs and chargers?
 
2013-08-22 07:51:07 PM

SenorBenedict: Shame Us: IAmRight: Shame Us: Haven't you people figured out that they're cursed yet? How many playoff flameouts do you need to see before you realize that the Lord Himself has decreed that they shall not hoist the trophy?

I don't think us Seattle fans can talk about things like that.

Our flameouts aren't quite as spectacular. We've only even tasted it once. Also, we don't have a Miracle named after our failure.

*cough* Failmary *cough*

Just saying!


We won that game.
 
2013-08-22 07:51:52 PM

SenorBenedict: neuroflare: IAmRight: /love Boldin, have his jersey and all (it was steeply discounted and he led me to a FFB title a long time ago)...but he's nowhere near a top WR in the league at this point

Cards or Ravens?

Also, they probably hit the Fitzgerald nail on right on the head.

Wasn't Palmer decent on the horrific raiders last year? Or was that by comparison to the chiefs and chargers?


like matt stafford, but with less yards and more ints
 
2013-08-22 07:53:44 PM
thecpt:

like matt stafford, but with less yards and more ints

Oh... oh no.
 
2013-08-22 07:54:43 PM

Treygreen13: xaks: Hrm.

For a satire site, that list was surprisingly accurate. Except for #10 belonging on the list.

Dez had 1382 yards and 12 TD last season.


Plus he really picked it up in the back half of the season. He pretty much dominated from the first Philly game through the rest of the year.
 
2013-08-22 07:55:16 PM

SenorBenedict: Wasn't Palmer decent on the horrific raiders last year? Or was that by comparison to the chiefs and chargers?


Yeah he was decent on OAK, I also bookmarked a thread where I said Palmer WILL do better in AZ this year than he did in OAK last year.
 
2013-08-22 07:55:40 PM

thecpt: SenorBenedict: neuroflare: IAmRight: /love Boldin, have his jersey and all (it was steeply discounted and he led me to a FFB title a long time ago)...but he's nowhere near a top WR in the league at this point

Cards or Ravens?

Also, they probably hit the Fitzgerald nail on right on the head.

Wasn't Palmer decent on the horrific raiders last year? Or was that by comparison to the chiefs and chargers?

like matt stafford, but with less yards and more ints


So Matt Stafford without Megatron.
 
2013-08-22 07:56:45 PM

thecpt: like matt stafford, but with less yards and more ints


A little fewer than 1000 yards less than Stafford and 3 fewer interceptions. Stafford had a receiving corps, too.
 
2013-08-22 07:56:47 PM

SenorBenedict: thecpt:

like matt stafford, but with less yards and more ints

Oh... oh no.


wait, checked my stats.  He had a better year than staffy in all of those categories and TDs.  He did have tremendous receiving talent though.  Not sure he'll have as many quality receivers this year, but be optimistic
 
2013-08-22 07:57:19 PM

Shame Us: thecpt: SenorBenedict: neuroflare: IAmRight: /love Boldin, have his jersey and all (it was steeply discounted and he led me to a FFB title a long time ago)...but he's nowhere near a top WR in the league at this point

Cards or Ravens?

Also, they probably hit the Fitzgerald nail on right on the head.

Wasn't Palmer decent on the horrific raiders last year? Or was that by comparison to the chiefs and chargers?

like matt stafford, but with less yards and more ints

So Matt Stafford without Megatron.


Matt Stafford without Megatron, is like Matt Stafford without Natty Ice nearby, its no life to live.
 
2013-08-22 07:59:48 PM
got damnit, got to quit doing this while I watch newsroom.  Staffy did do better int wise per attempt, and given the lions had Mikel leshore I wouldn't give Staffy grief for less TDs, but still good year for Carson.
 
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