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(YouTube)   Remember that traffic jam that made you scream like a sorority girl in a Freddy Krueger movie? Yeah. Here's what caused it (Not safe for work language)   (youtube.com) divider line 78
    More: Amusing, Whose Line Is It Anyway, sorority  
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8019 clicks; posted to Video » on 22 Aug 2013 at 5:55 PM (46 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



78 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-08-22 05:08:48 PM
If you're not tailgating, then you don't have to slam on the brakes if the guy in front of you taps his. It's not the guy in the front who creates the traffic jam, but the second guy.
 
2013-08-22 05:12:46 PM
I think people who don't know how or when to merge (and who has right of way) cause more problems than anything.  The object isn't to see how far you can get and how many cars you can bypass before you are forced to merge.
 
2013-08-22 05:29:24 PM

Theaetetus: If you're not tailgating, then you don't have to slam on the brakes if the guy in front of you taps his. It's not the guy in the front who creates the traffic jam, but the second guy.


Sure, blame the victim.
 
2013-08-22 06:01:07 PM
Rubbernecking?
 
2013-08-22 06:03:17 PM
Google cars will save us from all of this.  Can't wait until it's illegal to drive manually.

/only sorta joking
 
2013-08-22 06:23:20 PM

Theaetetus: If you're not tailgating, then you don't have to slam on the brakes if the guy in front of you taps his. It's not the guy in the front who creates the traffic jam, but the second guy.


And of course if you pull back to a safe distance, someone else will just pull in between you and now you're tailgating again.
 
2013-08-22 06:24:45 PM
Look, we all know traffic sucks. That's a fact of life. I would suggest we instead spend our time talking about what a piece of complete garbage that video clip was.  subbyshould be shot.
 
2013-08-22 06:27:01 PM
It's an old link, but it's still interesting:   http://www.carbibles.com/trafficmicrosimulation.html

You can alter the situations to see how just one extra car can cause smooth-flowing traffic to become stop-and-go hell, and how long it takes to clear up from one jerkass, clueless driver hitting the brakes.
 
2013-08-22 06:31:01 PM

Saberus Terras: It's an old link, but it's still interesting:   http://www.carbibles.com/trafficmicrosimulation.html

You can alter the situations to see how just one extra car can cause smooth-flowing traffic to become stop-and-go hell, and how long it takes to clear up from one jerkass, clueless driver hitting the brakes.


Is it sad that when one of the simulated cars actually stopped on the on-ramp, I got really pissed off at it?
 
2013-08-22 06:34:08 PM
 
2013-08-22 06:35:04 PM
That's the 405, right before Mulholland. I drive that f*cker every day. I've seen that bastard hit his brakes for no reason more than a few times. It makes me lose my focus when I'm texting. Hah!
 
2013-08-22 06:41:09 PM
Some comic years ago had a bit about:
So driving in LA, I keep trying to leave 3 car spaces between me and the guy ahead of me, but then a car fills the space so I slow up to get the space back. Then another guy pulls in and I slow down again. Then eventually, next thing you know, I'm backing down the highway at 60 MPH.

/Was it Cosby?
 
2013-08-22 06:44:00 PM

Theaetetus: If you're not tailgating, then you don't have to slam on the brakes if the guy in front of you taps his. It's not the guy in the front who creates the traffic jam, but the second guy.


Yeah, but if you leave a full car length ahead of you, then as soon as there is a small clearing in the lane to your right the guy behind you will zoom around the side of you, causing the people in that lane to hit their brakes, and then shove his way between you and the car in front, forcing you to slow down as well.

Scores of people braking, and at the end of it the guy who caused it all isn't going any faster than he was before.  But hey, he is one car further ahead than before!
 
2013-08-22 06:46:46 PM
I never get angry at other drivers.

A fight avoided is a fight won.
 
2013-08-22 07:00:58 PM

studebaker hoch: I never get angry at other drivers.

A fight avoided is a fight won.


Said many, many pencil-necked geeks.
 
2013-08-22 07:05:33 PM

UberDave: I think people who don't know how or when to merge (and who has right of way) cause more problems than anything.  The object isn't to see how far you can get and how many cars you can bypass before you are forced to merge.


There should be a sign that says, "There is going to be a merge point in 2 miles - merge now"
Followed by a sign one mile later that says, "There is going to be a merge point in 1 mile - merge NOW"
Followed by a police checkpoint one half mile later where all people that did not merge get shot in the head and their cars are impounded and sold at auction.
 
2013-08-22 07:13:12 PM

Lando Lincoln: UberDave: I think people who don't know how or when to merge (and who has right of way) cause more problems than anything.  The object isn't to see how far you can get and how many cars you can bypass before you are forced to merge.

There should be a sign that says, "There is going to be a merge point in 2 miles - merge now"
Followed by a sign one mile later that says, "There is going to be a merge point in 1 mile - merge NOW"
Followed by a police checkpoint one half mile later where all people that did not merge get shot in the head and their cars are impounded and sold at auction.


Harsh, but fair.
 
2013-08-22 07:14:54 PM

Lando Lincoln: UberDave: I think people who don't know how or when to merge (and who has right of way) cause more problems than anything.  The object isn't to see how far you can get and how many cars you can bypass before you are forced to merge.

There should be a sign that says, "There is going to be a merge point in 2 miles - merge now"
Followed by a sign one mile later that says, "There is going to be a merge point in 1 mile - merge NOW"
Followed by a police checkpoint one half mile later where all people that did not merge get shot in the head and their cars are impounded and sold at auction.


So, don't merge at the merge point?
 
2013-08-22 07:17:05 PM

Lando Lincoln: UberDave: I think people who don't know how or when to merge (and who has right of way) cause more problems than anything.  The object isn't to see how far you can get and how many cars you can bypass before you are forced to merge.

There should be a sign that says, "There is going to be a merge point in 2 miles - merge now"
Followed by a sign one mile later that says, "There is going to be a merge point in 1 mile - merge NOW"
Followed by a police checkpoint one half mile later where all people that did not merge get shot in the head and their cars are impounded and sold at auction.


Let's not get hasty... ticket them, impound the car, and suspend their license for failure to follow signage....

Anyone stopped w/ a suspended license at the checkpoint gets shot in the head.

Give them a chance to learn.
 
2013-08-22 07:17:36 PM

Mentat: Theaetetus: If you're not tailgating, then you don't have to slam on the brakes if the guy in front of you taps his. It's not the guy in the front who creates the traffic jam, but the second guy.

And of course if you pull back to a safe distance, someone else will just pull in between you and now you're tailgating again.


And of course if you hit a guy who cuts you off, you get blamed for following too closely.
 
2013-08-22 07:18:40 PM

Mentat: Theaetetus: If you're not tailgating, then you don't have to slam on the brakes if the guy in front of you taps his. It's not the guy in the front who creates the traffic jam, but the second guy.

And of course if you pull back to a safe distance, someone else will just pull in between you and now you're tailgating again.


Back in the day, I got out of a tailgating ticket by dashcaming this exact scenario using a 1979 Kodak Super 8 and replaying the footage in the courtroom.  Again and again, people swooped in in front of me.  There was no way to NOT tailgate.  Case dismissed.
 
2013-08-22 07:28:17 PM

foo monkey: Lando Lincoln: UberDave: I think people who don't know how or when to merge (and who has right of way) cause more problems than anything.  The object isn't to see how far you can get and how many cars you can bypass before you are forced to merge.

There should be a sign that says, "There is going to be a merge point in 2 miles - merge now"
Followed by a sign one mile later that says, "There is going to be a merge point in 1 mile - merge NOW"
Followed by a police checkpoint one half mile later where all people that did not merge get shot in the head and their cars are impounded and sold at auction.

So, don't merge at the merge point?


Exactly. If everybody started merging 2 miles before the actual merge, you have 2 miles worth of unused lane, making your traffic jam 2 miles longer than it needs to be (longer than that, actually, since the single merged lane will then proceed at sub-highway speeds until it passes the obstruction).

Pretend that traffic obeys the laws of fluid dynamics. Have it fill up all of the available space before allowing it to back up. If you have the ability to merge earlier, fine, but don't get all worked up when other people actually try to help the situation by filling up an otherwise empty lane.
 
2013-08-22 07:40:54 PM

Uzzah: Pretend that traffic obeys the laws of fluid dynamics.


Which brings me to an observation- if you put your thumb over the outlet of a hose, constricting it like bunching lane traffic, why is there an opposite effect?  The fluid actually goes through faster, but traffic tends to stop.  I understand completely why this is not so with traffic, but I remember having this thought exercise at about the same time I started driving.
 
2013-08-22 07:42:10 PM
One of these days, I'm going to buy a 1966 Chevy Impala and weld K-rails around the entire body. It won't make my daily commute ago any faster, but it sure will make it a lot more satisfying...

/Angeleno
//Your turn signal, jackass - Use it! Are you seriously too lazy and/or stupid to extend a single finger on your left hand and move it up or down one farking inch?
 
2013-08-22 07:52:21 PM

highendmighty: Google cars will save us from all of this.  Can't wait until it's illegal to drive manually.

/only sorta joking


- Daaad.  I need to go pee!!1!
- Ok. HAL, stop the car.
- I'm sorry, Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that!
 
2013-08-22 08:07:41 PM

MustangFive: //Your turn signal, jackass - Use it! Are you seriously too lazy and/or stupid to extend a single finger on your left hand and move it up or down one farking inch?


You never let your enemy know what you are planning.

 //Your turn signal, jackass - Use it!  Are you seriously too lazy and/or stupid to extend a single finger on your left hand and move it up or down one farking inch?

No, I happen to waive that finger at you quite often. You just seem to get even more pissed when I do though.


/sorry, couldn't resist
 
2013-08-22 08:11:48 PM

SomeAmerican: Theaetetus: If you're not tailgating, then you don't have to slam on the brakes if the guy in front of you taps his. It's not the guy in the front who creates the traffic jam, but the second guy.

Yeah, but if you leave a full car length ahead of you, then as soon as there is a small clearing in the lane to your right the guy behind you will zoom around the side of you, causing the people in that lane to hit their brakes, and then shove his way between you and the car in front, forcing you to slow down as well.

Scores of people braking, and at the end of it the guy who caused it all isn't going any faster than he was before.  But hey, he is one car further ahead than before!


That's why I wish people would just go with the "pick a lane and stick with it" method.  I think that would solve a bunch of problems.  You know when you're going to exit, and you know what lane you need to be in... just stay there.
 
2013-08-22 08:12:57 PM
I thought it was called incompetent looky-Loues?
average driver has just enough skills to get to work and back.
Barely, maybe. Most of the time.
Hopefully
 
2013-08-22 08:31:39 PM
 
2013-08-22 08:34:08 PM

fang06554: MustangFive: //Your turn signal, jackass - Use it! Are you seriously too lazy and/or stupid to extend a single finger on your left hand and move it up or down one farking inch?

You never let your enemy know what you are planning.

 //Your turn signal, jackass - Use it!  Are you seriously too lazy and/or stupid to extend a single finger on your left hand and move it up or down one farking inch?

No, I happen to waive that finger at you quite often. You just seem to get even more pissed when I do though.


/sorry, couldn't resist


Yeah, I knew that was coming before I typed it, but I posted it anyway for the good of the cause, sort of an e-Bud Abbott.
 
2013-08-22 08:42:37 PM
studebaker hochI never get angry at other drivers.  A fight avoided is a fight won.

That's what Pappa Gallo thought, too-'til Lord Humungus hurled a Tri-Dent into his back
i0.wp.com
 
2013-08-22 08:42:59 PM
The same principle applies at a traffic light. Jam against the next driver, asshole to bellybutton, as we used to say in the Corps, and you are delayed in starting up to go through the green light. Allow about a car length, and start moving when the light turns green.... and everybody gets through the light in a timely matter.

Sadly there are too many idiots who stare at the car moving ahead of them wondering if the light might have changed, apparently, unable to bring their eyes up to the traffic light.

..another thing, please keep your eye on cross traffic BEFORE the light changes, rather than waiting until it turns green and waiting 10 seconds to scan the intersection before going. That's really farking annoying. Red lights aren't time to search your handbag, reach for that curly fry that fell under the passenger seat, or post a new blog entry through your Android phablet.
 
2013-08-22 08:58:26 PM

Uzzah: Exactly. If everybody started merging 2 miles before the actual merge, you have 2 miles worth of unused lane, making your traffic jam 2 miles longer than it needs to be (longer than that, actually, since the single merged lane will then proceed at sub-highway speeds until it passes the obstruction).

Pretend that traffic obeys the laws of fluid dynamics. Have it fill up all of the available space before allowing it to back up. If you have the ability to merge earlier, fine, but don't get all worked up when other people actually try to help the situation by filling up an otherwise empty lane.


Reminds me of the time I was traveling north bound on I-75 in the far left lane out of four lanes.  Just moving along and I noticed the other lanes slowed then stopped and I still had a wide open lane.  I knew I was well short of losing my lane by several miles so I didn't get what was going on.  Some commercial van saw me coming and shot out into my lane almost forcing me into the cement barrier.  A mile later we happened onto the reason for the jam, a construction zone and all the other drivers were already merged over a full two miles before the sign saying left lane ends in two miles.  Still the dumbest thing I have ever seen.  Too many idiots who get pissed about getting passed when sometimes you get stuck in that lane and every car to your right is almost pressing their bumpers together to keep you out.

Once I was going along about 10 mph in the left lane looking to merge when a car got over to block, not unusual around here for two or more cars to work together doing this, but the guy behind him left me a window by mistake and I shot over to the blocker's right leaving him in the left lane.  He was pissed.

Last weekend, because I have learned to expect the Sunday I-75 southbound jam, I took the two lane highway system home from up north.  A bit of 23, some 83 and finished with some 54 for those that know.
 
2013-08-22 09:16:44 PM
Holy hell.  I say this with all sincerity.  I wish "those" people and their entire family and everybody they love would die a slow, excruciating death.
 
2013-08-22 10:08:10 PM

Uzzah: foo monkey: Lando Lincoln: UberDave: I think people who don't know how or when to merge (and who has right of way) cause more problems than anything.  The object isn't to see how far you can get and how many cars you can bypass before you are forced to merge.

There should be a sign that says, "There is going to be a merge point in 2 miles - merge now"
Followed by a sign one mile later that says, "There is going to be a merge point in 1 mile - merge NOW"
Followed by a police checkpoint one half mile later where all people that did not merge get shot in the head and their cars are impounded and sold at auction.

So, don't merge at the merge point?

Exactly. If everybody started merging 2 miles before the actual merge, you have 2 miles worth of unused lane, making your traffic jam 2 miles longer than it needs to be (longer than that, actually, since the single merged lane will then proceed at sub-highway speeds until it passes the obstruction).

Pretend that traffic obeys the laws of fluid dynamics. Have it fill up all of the available space before allowing it to back up. If you have the ability to merge earlier, fine, but don't get all worked up when other people actually try to help the situation by filling up an otherwise empty lane.



But very rarely is that helping the situation.  As the video shows, traffic is more prone to slow down when someone hits their breaks.  This is what happens when someone shoots all the way to the end of a merge lane and then forces their way in.  Yes, there are instances were it will not matter because of the sheer volume of traffic.  And Lando's 2 mile merge lane was exaggeration.  But in most cases, it's because people just want to get ahead.

There's an interchange here in Houston, one of the oldest - I45 and the 610 south loop.  Going north on 45, almost *always* (during weekdays) sees a slowdown at this point.  Years ago, the city painted what direction each of the five lanes approaching the interchange for at least a mile.  And I believe there is a 2-mile sign.  There's never any problem here.  The freeway has the same amount of lanes for several miles and you are doing around 70 until you get within 1-4 miles of this interchange then you're crawling.  Once you're maybe 200 yards away, traffic takes off again (so it is not backed up on the ramps).  All of this is because people don't get into the lane they are supposed to be in early enough and have to cut people off at the last minute.

45 near my house is slow as hell all the time.  The only reason for that is because there's a 1/2 mile long merge ramp that gives plenty of time to get up to speed and slip into traffic but people choose to go all the way to the end and then force themselves in.  If the main traffic body is flowing steadily at 65 miles an hour and you, needing to enter the freeway, get up to speed, look for a gap and/or signal and merge on in, traffic will not slow.  If you go 80 to get past as many cars as possible then cut over at the last minute causing someone to slam on their breaks and go from 65 to 45 (or less), you're going to cause a multitude of cars to slow down off their steady speed.  Do that over and over in the span of a minute and you have dead traffic.
 
2013-08-22 10:18:44 PM

Enuratique: Rubbernecking?


I had to check to see if you were in Atlanta. If a cop has someone pulled over, the mesmerizing blue light causes a jam for miles.

I used to drive 30 miles into Atlanta for work. Excruciating. The final straw was the day I was crawling through the Grady Curve. Saw an opening, used my signal, and got over to the right. Apparently this woman was coming left at the same time so I kind of cut her off. I put my hand up in a "sorry" motion. Then we ground to a halt. This crazy biatch gets out of her car on the downtown connector, punches my driver side window and is doing that mountain gorilla "come on!" dance outside my window. A) I could have taken her. She was pudgy and middle aged, and I was 36 and a gym rat. B) I didn't want to be on the morning news - "Livecopter 3! Cat fight on the highway!" And C) I most likely would have gotten arrested for breaking her nose if she touched me. Traffic started moving again, so I called the State Patrol to report her crazy ass. More BS than I cared to deal with before 7:30 am. I took a pay cut and got a job close to home. I now have a 10 minute commute on town roads. I won't get rich here but the wear and tear on my car and my nerves is worth it.
 
2013-08-22 10:28:28 PM

Theaetetus: If you're not tailgating, then you don't have to slam on the brakes if the guy in front of you taps his. It's not the guy in the front who creates the traffic jam, but the second guy.


I see you haven't driven in traffic in a major city.  If you're far enough back that you don't have to tap your brakes when the person ahead taps his, another car will merge into your lane and fill that gap.   In Houston, if you tried to follow the old one car length for every 10 mph recommendation, you'd just stand still as people cut in front of you.  Then, of course, you'd be the one creating the traffic jam.
 
2013-08-22 10:39:40 PM
Another thing about Atlanta traffic. I was stuck in a lane behind an accident. Had my blinker on, trying desperately to get out from behind it. (I always use my signal - always. Try to drive friendly in general). NOT ONE mother farker would let me over. 90% of those assholes had Jesus fish and yellow ribbons on their vehicles - I have National Guard plates. Thanks for your support, shiatheads.
 
2013-08-22 10:42:06 PM
And! Jesus may love you, but the rest of us think you're an asshole.
 
2013-08-22 10:46:45 PM
woman driver
 
2013-08-22 11:07:41 PM

LesserEvil: ..another thing, please keep your eye on cross traffic BEFORE the light changes, rather than waiting until it turns green and waiting 10 seconds to scan the intersection before going.


Spoken like someone who has never seen a reckless driver barrel through an intersection 1 second after their light turns red.
 
2013-08-22 11:46:04 PM

UberDave: Uzzah: foo monkey: Lando Lincoln: UberDave: I think people who don't know how or when to merge (and who has right of way) cause more problems than anything.  The object isn't to see how far you can get and how many cars you can bypass before you are forced to merge.

There should be a sign that says, "There is going to be a merge point in 2 miles - merge now"
Followed by a sign one mile later that says, "There is going to be a merge point in 1 mile - merge NOW"
Followed by a police checkpoint one half mile later where all people that did not merge get shot in the head and their cars are impounded and sold at auction.

So, don't merge at the merge point?

Exactly. If everybody started merging 2 miles before the actual merge, you have 2 miles worth of unused lane, making your traffic jam 2 miles longer than it needs to be (longer than that, actually, since the single merged lane will then proceed at sub-highway speeds until it passes the obstruction).

Pretend that traffic obeys the laws of fluid dynamics. Have it fill up all of the available space before allowing it to back up. If you have the ability to merge earlier, fine, but don't get all worked up when other people actually try to help the situation by filling up an otherwise empty lane.


But very rarely is that helping the situation.  As the video shows, traffic is more prone to slow down when someone hits their breaks.  This is what happens when someone shoots all the way to the end of a merge lane and then forces their way in.  Yes, there are instances were it will not matter because of the sheer volume of traffic.  And Lando's 2 mile merge lane was exaggeration.  But in most cases, it's because people just want to get ahead.

There's an interchange here in Houston, one of the oldest - I45 and the 610 south loop.  Going north on 45, almost *always* (during weekdays) sees a slowdown at this point.  Years ago, the city painted what direction each of the five lanes approaching the interchange for at least a mil ...


And that's why I don't live in Clear Lake anymore and avoid 45 at all costs. From the Woodlands until Webster it's all stupid.
 
2013-08-23 12:05:51 AM

Uzzah: Exactly. If everybody started merging 2 miles before the actual merge, you have 2 miles worth of unused lane, making your traffic jam 2 miles longer than it needs to be


No, you'd have people merged and not hitting their goddamn brakes well before the merge point, thus not causing traffic jams in the first place.

Traffic doesn't work like fluid dynamics. Fluid doesn't create air pockets all by itself. Traffic does.
 
2013-08-23 12:10:28 AM

LesserEvil: The same principle applies at a traffic light. Jam against the next driver, asshole to bellybutton, as we used to say in the Corps, and you are delayed in starting up to go through the green light. Allow about a car length, and start moving when the light turns green.... and everybody gets through the light in a timely matter.



except when there are four or five cars at the light, and suddenly no one can get into the empty left turn lane (which would be easy if people actually pulled forward a bit more), and so people who need to turn get stuck at the light for an extra cycle.
 
2013-08-23 12:12:49 AM
Merging. I hate the jerks who ride the shoulder till the very...last...minute....to get as far ahead as they can, and stuff their way in. I never give an inch to those pricks.  At some point in life you have to WAIT YOUR FARKIN' TURN, you entitled  jackasses.

Those who think the rules of civility and common courtesy do not apply to them are on my "you can die first" list.
 
2013-08-23 12:15:21 AM

HotWingAgenda: LesserEvil: ..another thing, please keep your eye on cross traffic BEFORE the light changes, rather than waiting until it turns green and waiting 10 seconds to scan the intersection before going.

Spoken like someone who has never seen a reckless driver barrel through an intersection 1 second after their light turns red.


I have seen drivers barrel recklessly through an intersection, which is why you PAY ATTENTION when the light is still red. Fewer surprises. I didn't say a damn thing about going through a green light that has cross-traffic.

HighZoolander: LesserEvil: The same principle applies at a traffic light. Jam against the next driver, asshole to bellybutton, as we used to say in the Corps, and you are delayed in starting up to go through the green light. Allow about a car length, and start moving when the light turns green.... and everybody gets through the light in a timely matter.


except when there are four or five cars at the light, and suddenly no one can get into the empty left turn lane (which would be easy if people actually pulled forward a bit more), and so people who need to turn get stuck at the light for an extra cycle.


Judgment call. Sometimes I close up if it somebody needs the extra space to squeeze in or to get to the left turn lane. I was speaking general case. Smart and courteous driving doesn't involved absolutes.
 
2013-08-23 12:16:27 AM

Uzzah: foo monkey: Lando Lincoln: UberDave: I think people who don't know how or when to merge (and who has right of way) cause more problems than anything.  The object isn't to see how far you can get and how many cars you can bypass before you are forced to merge.

There should be a sign that says, "There is going to be a merge point in 2 miles - merge now"
Followed by a sign one mile later that says, "There is going to be a merge point in 1 mile - merge NOW"
Followed by a police checkpoint one half mile later where all people that did not merge get shot in the head and their cars are impounded and sold at auction.

So, don't merge at the merge point?

Exactly. If everybody started merging 2 miles before the actual merge, you have 2 miles worth of unused lane, making your traffic jam 2 miles longer than it needs to be (longer than that, actually, since the single merged lane will then proceed at sub-highway speeds until it passes the obstruction).

Pretend that traffic obeys the laws of fluid dynamics. Have it fill up all of the available space before allowing it to back up. If you have the ability to merge earlier, fine, but don't get all worked up when other people actually try to help the situation by filling up an otherwise empty lane.


Yup.
I am an early merger, but I never get douchey at those who prefer the late zipper.
 
2013-08-23 12:59:50 AM

LesserEvil: HighZoolander: LesserEvil: The same principle applies at a traffic light. Jam against the next driver, asshole to bellybutton, as we used to say in the Corps, and you are delayed in starting up to go through the green light. Allow about a car length, and start moving when the light turns green.... and everybody gets through the light in a timely matter.


except when there are four or five cars at the light, and suddenly no one can get into the empty left turn lane (which would be easy if people actually pulled forward a bit more), and so people who need to turn get stuck at the light for an extra cycle.

Judgment call. Sometimes I close up if it somebody needs the extra space to squeeze in or to get to the left turn lane. I was speaking general case. Smart and courteous driving doesn't involved absolutes.


Well, that's certainly true, but there are enough rude, dumb drivers out there (and some smart and courteous one who occasionally slip up and don't pay attention) to make it a bit of a pet peeve for me, particularly when I'm the one who gets stuck at the light.
 
2013-08-23 01:46:03 AM
This site has a pretty good paper on Traffic Waves.
 
2013-08-23 01:49:30 AM

freetomato: Merging. I hate the jerks who ride the shoulder till the very...last...minute....to get as far ahead as they can, and stuff their way in. I never give an inch to those pricks.  At some point in life you have to WAIT YOUR FARKIN' TURN, you entitled  jackasses.

Those who think the rules of civility and common courtesy do not apply to them are on my "you can die first" list.


Can you tell me exactly what all that extra road is for, if not other vehicles? Seriously. If everyone just drove to the end, it'd be a simple "you first, then me" like a zipper closing.

Otherwise you have people just randomly choosing to merge at some spot 500 or 600 or 300 meters back, and it's a giant clusterfark of "Oh I guess I'll merge here for some reason" and someone else reacting "Oh apparently this guy has chosen here to randomly merge, which I wasn't expecting, so now I have to crunch my brakes to make room, which farks up everything behind me" (multiplied x 50 for all the people randomly merging wherever the hell they feel like)

Seriously. If you can give me a good reason why that extra 500 meters of road is there, when cars aren't supposed to use it, then I'm all ears.
 
2013-08-23 02:40:04 AM

leftymcrighty: freetomato: Merging. I hate the jerks who ride the shoulder till the very...last...minute....to get as far ahead as they can, and stuff their way in. I never give an inch to those pricks.  At some point in life you have to WAIT YOUR FARKIN' TURN, you entitled  jackasses.

Those who think the rules of civility and common courtesy do not apply to them are on my "you can die first" list.

Can you tell me exactly what all that extra road is for, if not other vehicles? Seriously. If everyone just drove to the end, it'd be a simple "you first, then me" like a zipper closing.

Otherwise you have people just randomly choosing to merge at some spot 500 or 600 or 300 meters back, and it's a giant clusterfark of "Oh I guess I'll merge here for some reason" and someone else reacting "Oh apparently this guy has chosen here to randomly merge, which I wasn't expecting, so now I have to crunch my brakes to make room, which farks up everything behind me" (multiplied x 50 for all the people randomly merging wherever the hell they feel like)

Seriously. If you can give me a good reason why that extra 500 meters of road is there, when cars aren't supposed to use it, then I'm all ears.


The Zipper fails miserably because there are always drivers who wait until the absolute last minute, to shove in, while driving at least three or four times the speed of the lane they are trying to merge into, causing them to SLAM on their brakes when they cut in the line.

The zipper is a horrible model to follow, since it relies on every single driver being perfectly courteous and obeying the general rule. Drivers will take advantage of it in the worst way, and other drivers will be frustrated in the worst way.

This is why "early merge" is a better model... merging when your speed is closer means nobody is slamming on their breaks when they cut in. Human nature defeats the late zipper, early merge allows for natural behavior.
 
2013-08-23 02:41:11 AM
...and of course I typo'd "breaks" when I meant "brakes"

Ugh. I am usually more literate, but I'm tired and on my way to bed.
 
2013-08-23 03:21:49 AM

leftymcrighty: freetomato: Merging. I hate the jerks who ride the shoulder till the very...last...minute....to get as far ahead as they can, and stuff their way in. I never give an inch to those pricks.  At some point in life you have to WAIT YOUR FARKIN' TURN, you entitled  jackasses.

Those who think the rules of civility and common courtesy do not apply to them are on my "you can die first" list.

Can you tell me exactly what all that extra road is for, if not other vehicles? Seriously. If everyone just drove to the end, it'd be a simple "you first, then me" like a zipper closing.

Otherwise you have people just randomly choosing to merge at some spot 500 or 600 or 300 meters back, and it's a giant clusterfark of "Oh I guess I'll merge here for some reason" and someone else reacting "Oh apparently this guy has chosen here to randomly merge, which I wasn't expecting, so now I have to crunch my brakes to make room, which farks up everything behind me" (multiplied x 50 for all the people randomly merging wherever the hell they feel like)

Seriously. If you can give me a good reason why that extra 500 meters of road is there, when cars aren't supposed to use it, then I'm all ears.


FFS, use common sense. That road is for acceleration and merging when traffic is at highway speeds.

When it's stop and go, and you use it to pass everyone, you're a fuking cock sucker.
 
2013-08-23 03:29:25 AM

LesserEvil: The Zipper fails miserably because there are always drivers who wait until the absolute last minute, to shove in, while driving at least three or four times the speed of the lane they are trying to merge into, causing them to SLAM on their brakes when they cut in the line.

The zipper is a horrible model to follow, since it relies on every single driver being perfectly courteous and obeying the general rule. Drivers will take advantage of it in the worst way, and other drivers will be frustrated in the worst way.

This is why "early merge" is a better model... merging when your speed is closer means nobody is slamming on their breaks when they cut in. Human nature defeats the late zipper, early merge allows for natural behavior.


Bullshat.

The zipper uses "human nature" to force everyone to merge at the same spot, so they have to take turns. Your model IGNORES human nature and expects everyone to FREELY merge ahead of time - AND THEY WON'T, BECAUSE IT'S AGAINST HUMAN NATURE- there are always drivers who wait until the absolute last minute, to shove in, while driving at least three or four times the speed of the lane they are trying to merge into, causing them to SLAM on their brakes when they cut in the line.

You literally have it 100% backwards, and traffic science has proved it.

The only problem with the zipper merge, is DOTs still pick a left or right lane for dominance, causing misinformed people like you to choose it while ignoring the flashing "USE BOTH LANE" signs.
 
2013-08-23 03:55:55 AM
My god, idiot actors who can't drive describing things written by an idiot journalist who can't drive.

"THAT GUY" and all the cars behind him were traveling too fast for the rest of the traffic and jammed up.
Then the farkballs behind "that guy" suddenly let the gap in front of them get to more than TWICE the gap they were using as a following distance prior to the slow-down because NONE of them are actually paying attention to driving.

Who's at fault?  Not the guy who slammed on his brakes, the people who sat there waiting for a cookie behind him.

When I was growing up in Illinois and there weren't that many large trucks running around in town we could ALL see the green lights at intersections and we'd ALL START MOVING AT THE SAME TIME.   It was a point of pride that we could get sixty cars through a green light that any other state could only get 20 through.  One solid line of cars spreading out their following distance AS they accelerated instead of before they accelerated.

PAY ATTENTION TO DRIVING AND NOTHING ELSE.   That's the moral of the story here.
 
2013-08-23 06:15:00 AM
There's a reason that one-lane closures for highway construction are often preceeded by large signs saying "STAY IN LANE UNTIL MERGE POINT" or "USE BOTH LANES," with a sign saying "MERGE HERE" at the lane closure. A late zipper merge is substantially more efficient than the early merge. Using the whole available road reduces backups further down the highway.

Here's more:

http://www.jamesrobertwatson.com/merge.html

It's really mind-boggling that this isn't more apparent to people.
 
2013-08-23 06:24:39 AM
Speeding, tailgating, and poorly initiated road work that create bottlenecks are what causes traffic jams.
 
2013-08-23 06:30:42 AM

nonvideas: There's a reason that one-lane closures for highway construction are often preceeded by large signs saying "STAY IN LANE UNTIL MERGE POINT" or "USE BOTH LANES," with a sign saying "MERGE HERE" at the lane closure. A late zipper merge is substantially more efficient than the early merge. Using the whole available road reduces backups further down the highway.

Here's more:

http://www.jamesrobertwatson.com/merge.html

It's really mind-boggling that this isn't more apparent to people.


Nobody follows the zipper method because the non-merging lane always believes they have the right-of-way.

They make it a point to not let you in and pretend that you are not even there.

In fact they act all surprised when they notice that you are not farking around and aren't backing down either, as if they didn't realize that there was traffic going on next to them.

I see it everyday, 5 times a day. There is always that farker that does it.
 
2013-08-23 06:57:13 AM
Isn't this also referred to as snaking?  Because it looks like a snake slithering along, one section stops while the other part in front scoots long.
 
2013-08-23 07:41:23 AM
I don't recall Freddy ever killing ANY sorority girls.  That wasn't really his M.O.
 
2013-08-23 07:45:25 AM

sheep snorter: Some comic years ago had a bit about:
So driving in LA, I keep trying to leave 3 car spaces between me and the guy ahead of me, but then a car fills the space so I slow up to get the space back. Then another guy pulls in and I slow down again. Then eventually, next thing you know, I'm backing down the highway at 60 MPH.

/Was it Cosby?


I think it was Carlos Mencia.
/That guy has all the great jokes.
 
2013-08-23 08:13:27 AM
Now that I can run faster than cars, I don't even bother driving anymore.

i.imgur.com
 
2013-08-23 08:45:45 AM

Mentat: And of course if you pull back to a safe distance, someone else will just pull in between you and now you're tailgating again.


amen brother... that pisses me off so flipping much.
 
2013-08-23 08:59:41 AM

nonvideas: It's really mind-boggling that this isn't more apparent to people.


This would be great if it ever worked that way.  From what I can tell, the most efficient thing to do is merge when you can, not when you have to. Sometimes safety and not being a cock sucker is more efficient.
 
2013-08-23 09:47:29 AM

LesserEvil: That's really farking annoying. Red lights aren't time to search your handbag, reach for that curly fry that fell under the passenger seat, or post a new blog entry through your Android phablet.


I'm not sure there's a lot of efficiency that can be squeezed out of red lights.

But that said, red lights can be fun.  The compression cycle is great entertainment value.  Someone thinks it over, decides they really should have stopped a car length further ahead.  A gap forms.  The car behind fills it.  And so forth.  The same lead car decides there's another foot or two in there.  He pulls forward again.  There's a half life cycle.  16 ft.  8 ft.  4ft.  2 ft.

I'm the guy who refuses to move.  I keep watching the gap grow and as my resolve grows.  This patch of pavement is my own until the light turns green.  Very rarely, a big enough gap will form to allow a car to change lanes in front of me.  You have to say it like the church lady, but, "oooooh."  The anxiety in other faces is comical, visual accusations that I did this.
 
2013-08-23 10:04:44 AM

impaler: The zipper uses "human nature" to force everyone to merge at the same spot, so they have to take turns. Your model IGNORES human nature and expects everyone to FREELY merge ahead of time - AND THEY WON'T, BECAUSE IT'S AGAINST HUMAN NATURE


Thus, the "cops shoot people in the head" method of dealing with the greedy pricks that don't give a fark if they make people brake behind them, creating traffic jams behind them.
 
2013-08-23 10:08:23 AM

nonvideas: A late zipper merge is substantially more efficient than the early merge. Using the whole available road reduces backups further down the highway.


That's total bullshiat. If everyone was able to merge to the requisite lanes without causing anyone to seriously brake (IE, everyone merging well ahead of the merge point), then there would be no traffic jams. But no. Instead, we prefer to be jackasses and merge as late as possible, at five miles per hour.
 
2013-08-23 10:40:56 AM

Lando Lincoln: nonvideas: A late zipper merge is substantially more efficient than the early merge. Using the whole available road reduces backups further down the highway.

That's total bullshiat. If everyone was able to merge to the requisite lanes without causing anyone to seriously brake (IE, everyone merging well ahead of the merge point), then there would be no traffic jams. But no. Instead, we prefer to be jackasses and merge as late as possible, at five miles per hour.


Wrong... traffic congestion is directly related to two things: the number of cars on the road and the amount of road available. If everyone merges early, there is less road available for the same number of cars. That's not to say that a logjam at the absolute final merge point is the most efficient method, either. There will inevitably be a slow down due to increased congestion when one lane is eliminated, but it doesn't have to be a slow merge at 5 mph, though. That is caused, primarily, by people in the continuing lane refusing to merge with the ending lane. If a computer was controlling every car efficiently, then the optimal merge would be very close to the absolute final merge point at a speed reduced to the point that the continuing lane(s) can accommodate the flow of traffic.
 
2013-08-23 11:20:05 AM

leftymcrighty: Seriously. If you can give me a good reason why that extra 500 meters of road is there, when cars aren't supposed to use it, then I'm all ears.


We have a special breed of asshole here in Georgia that use the SHOULDER, the breakdown lane if you will, to zoom to the front of the perceived line and try to ram their way in.  That is who I was referring to.
 
2013-08-23 12:12:50 PM

Flab: highendmighty: Google cars will save us from all of this.  Can't wait until it's illegal to drive manually.

/only sorta joking

- Daaad.  I need to go pee!!1!
- Ok. HAL, stop the car.
- I'm sorry, Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that!


Son, the water jug was good enough to use in the Cessna, it's good enough to use in the car.
 
2013-08-23 12:49:13 PM

Lando Lincoln: nonvideas: A late zipper merge is substantially more efficient than the early merge. Using the whole available road reduces backups further down the highway.

That's total bullshiat. If everyone was able to merge to the requisite lanes without causing anyone to seriously brake (IE, everyone merging well ahead of the merge point), then there would be no traffic jams. But no. Instead, we prefer to be jackasses and merge as late as possible, at five miles per hour.


You and I are talking about two different things:

If traffic is moving smoothly, and drivers are given sufficient advance notice of the upcoming merge, and they're all good enough to merge while there is still room to do so without causing anybody else to hit the brakes, and the traffic density is light enough that it can be accommodated in one lane without a material decrease of cruising speed, then you're right: everybody gently moves into the lane that passes through the obstruction and traffic never slows down.

I'm talking about the situation where one of those factors isn't present, and we've now got a jam. At that point, using all of the available merging lane, all the way up to the obstruction, reduces the length of the jam and actually allows the merge to take place more efficiently.
 
2013-08-23 12:53:26 PM

leftymcrighty: Can you tell me exactly what all that extra road is for, if not other vehicles? Seriously. If everyone just drove to the end, it'd be a simple "you first, then me" like a zipper closing.


Careful. It's important to distinguish between the people doing a zip merge into flowing traffic and the people who are just being selfish dildos and are intentionally driving along in the wrong lane for as long as possible just to try and fly past as many people as possible into SLOWING traffic.

Case in point, there's one spot on my commute home where a very long ramp joins the interstate, but, inevitably, everybody will try to force their way over as soon as possible and hundreds of feet of the ramp often go unused. The spot is a constant snarl as a result because over about 200 feet you have effectively three lanes of traffic collapsing to two all at one small point.

Earlier in my commute, however, there's a spot where the left lane of a two-lane freeway ends and the remaining lane joins a new right lane so the two split off as ramps onto the interstate, one in each direction.

EVERY GODDAMN DAY you have these dickcheeses who will fly as far up the left lane as they can despite the warnings for a mile and a half that the lane ends just so they can try and jam as far ahead of traffic as possible and not have to wait an extra 20 or 30 seconds by driving the prevailing speed. This ALSO creates a jam because they're not merging, they're just cutting people off on the ramps by intentionally not getting out of a travel lane that ends.

Two jams created by opposite behaviors that are both wrong in their specific scenarios.
 
2013-08-23 01:52:09 PM

UberDave: I think people who don't know how or when to merge (and who has right of way) cause more problems than anything.  The object isn't to see how far you can get and how many cars you can bypass before you are forced to merge.


Wrong. The more merge distance the more smoother the merge. It's the ones who try to merge immediately from almost a dead stop that causes more of a jam. Especially the ones who cross the double white lines.
 
2013-08-23 02:03:06 PM
d3img3do1wj44f.cloudfront.net
 
2013-08-23 03:23:48 PM
This video doesn't really explain WHY each successive car in traffic ends up having to slow down more than the car before it. :\

Also, that burning couch example. ...What? Two slotcars in separate lanes =/= traffic jam.
 
2013-08-23 04:39:28 PM

freetomato: Enuratique: Rubbernecking?

I had to check to see if you were in Atlanta. If a cop has someone pulled over, the mesmerizing blue light causes a jam for miles.

I used to drive 30 miles into Atlanta for work. Excruciating. The final straw was the day I was crawling through the Grady Curve. Saw an opening, used my signal, and got over to the right. Apparently this woman was coming left at the same time so I kind of cut her off. I put my hand up in a "sorry" motion. Then we ground to a halt. This crazy biatch gets out of her car on the downtown connector, punches my driver side window and is doing that mountain gorilla "come on!" dance outside my window. A) I could have taken her. She was pudgy and middle aged, and I was 36 and a gym rat. B) I didn't want to be on the morning news - "Livecopter 3! Cat fight on the highway!" And C) I most likely would have gotten arrested for breaking her nose if she touched me. Traffic started moving again, so I called the State Patrol to report her crazy ass. More BS than I cared to deal with before 7:30 am. I took a pay cut and got a job close to home. I now have a 10 minute commute on town roads. I won't get rich here but the wear and tear on my car and my nerves is worth it.


LOL, I was born, raised, and learned to drive in Atlanta... Haven't updated my profile in a while, but I'm in Dallas now. Regardless, I feel your pain, brother.
 
2013-08-23 07:21:42 PM

Lando Lincoln: nonvideas: A late zipper merge is substantially more efficient than the early merge. Using the whole available road reduces backups further down the highway.

That's total bullshiat. If everyone was able to merge to the requisite lanes without causing anyone to seriously brake (IE, everyone merging well ahead of the merge point), then there would be no traffic jams. But no. Instead, we prefer to be jackasses and merge as late as possible, at five miles per hour.


This is already happening no matter where the merging point is.

Are you saying that you want to leave a lane wide open while we merge when you say we should merge?

Wait, you are saying that there should just be one lane all the way home right? Yes, I think that is what you are saying.
 
2013-08-23 07:47:53 PM
My earlier comment was about one specific situation: lane closure, where one lane (the one that doesn't close) is filled with hundreds of cars that are locked in stop and go, and the other lane (the one closing) not being used because everyone is merging at random early points.

I maintain that the stop and go traffic is a direct result of random merging.  All it takes is one guy to say "I'll just merge here in this random location" and one driver to say "Oh, that guy's gonna merge I guess" and he hits the brakes and BAM brake wave leads to traffic eventually stopping.

If everyone were on the same page, and left plenty of room for a car to get in front of them, including at the merge point, there'd be less brake tromping because now people EXPECT people to merge in front of them. Less brake tromping means less traffic jam.

In case you didn't see the link, check out the one posted by nonvideas:

http://www.jamesrobertwatson.com/merge.html
 
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