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(Slate)   You're using the wrong kind of knife to cut your tomatoes, cretin   (slate.com) divider line 68
    More: Dumbass  
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1325 clicks; posted to FarkUs » on 22 Aug 2013 at 9:43 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-08-22 08:21:58 AM  
If television has taught me anything, it's that prior to slicing a tomato, a knife should be used to cut a leather boot in half.
 
2013-08-22 08:24:26 AM  

Like I'm going to take advice from someone who sliced her tomatoes the wrong direction.


farm3.staticflickr.com

Cherokee Purple.
 
2013-08-22 08:24:41 AM  
Jeebus Frist...

A serrated bread knife? The chef in me in crying at the wrong that was done to that poor tomato. And the potential wrong done to that poor, ignorant girl's thumb. If you want to cut tomatoes like a Yuppie housewife, please go with that, but please, tuck in your damn fingers and thumb. Otherwise, use a sharp knife, as opposed to the dull piece of crap from that demonstration. Dull knives are what will cause you the most injury in a kitchen. They don't behave normally, they will sometimes catch in odd ways, as you are using more force than necessary, which leads to the knife taking an unpredictable path, and then leading to the knife doing a dance that winds up slicing the wrong damn thing, into your flesh as you press. A sharp knife does exactly the job you ask of it, and if you're holding the damn thing correctly, and your guiding hand is held safely, you won't hurt yourself.

Videos like this ARE very good if your editor has any stock in hospitals or bandage companies though, and thus they persist in teaching piss poor knife skills.
 
2013-08-22 08:30:09 AM  
You know what kind of knife I use?  A very sharp one.

I've got a nice knife set, I keep a whetstone handy, and the most amazing sharpening/honing steel I've ever used:
www.mpbs.com
 
2013-08-22 08:34:59 AM  

nekom: If television has taught me anything, it's that prior to slicing a tomato, a knife should be used to cut a leather boot in half.


I've heard that in Japan, the hand can be used like a knife.
 
2013-08-22 08:39:08 AM  
From the files of... "You know you're an amateur when..."

Endive Wombat: You know what kind of knife I use?  A very sharp one.

I've got a nice knife set, I keep a whetstone handy, and the most amazing sharpening/honing steel I've ever used:
[www.mpbs.com image 346x144]


I'm surprised you don't own a Norton tri-stone.
 
2013-08-22 08:40:26 AM  
Now I kind of want one of these crazy tomato knives.
 
2013-08-22 08:44:14 AM  

hubiestubert: Videos like this ARE very good if your editor has any stock in hospitals or bandage companies though, and thus they persist in teaching piss poor knife skills.


That's exactly what I was thinking.  Who the hell taught this woman how to cut?

More importantly, what or who made this woman think that she knows anything at all about how to work in a kitchen, much less enough to make a video?
 
2013-08-22 08:55:27 AM  
That has to be the worst knife technique I have ever seen. I literally cringed watching it.

Also, this:

basemetal: Like I'm going to take advice from someone who sliced her tomatoes the wrong direction.


[farm3.staticflickr.com image 640x480]

Cherokee Purple.


You cut a tomato along the equator.
 
2013-08-22 09:01:35 AM  

ginandbacon: You cut a tomato along the equator.


Great.  What about those of use who live above 40 degrees north latitude?
 
2013-08-22 09:16:32 AM  

dittybopper: ginandbacon: You cut a tomato along the equator.

Great.  What about those of use who live above 40 degrees north latitude?


Stand on yer head?
 
2013-08-22 09:19:56 AM  
Is it possible that Slate has been one big long con?
 
2013-08-22 09:48:00 AM  

Tomato tomahto, I'd like to *wink wink nudge nudge saynomore* slice off a piece of Laura Anderson. In fact, I think that I'll give her an honorary

dancininanson.net
 
2013-08-22 09:52:30 AM  
Does the knife work to slice the (item)?

Yes?

Then it IS the right knife.
 
2013-08-22 09:55:03 AM  
vegetarian problems.
 
2013-08-22 09:55:34 AM  
My dream job is to be the person who can't manage to perform the simplest tasks on infomercials.

*opens soda can, accidentally decapitates self*

"Has this ever happened to you?"
 
2013-08-22 09:56:28 AM  

Diogenes: My dream job is to be the person who can't manage to perform the simplest tasks on infomercials.

*opens soda can, accidentally decapitates self*

"Has this ever happened to you?"


LOL you are so weird!
 
2013-08-22 09:59:48 AM  

hubiestubert: Jeebus Frist...

A serrated bread knife? The chef in me in crying at the wrong that was done to that poor tomato. And the potential wrong done to that poor, ignorant girl's thumb. If you want to cut tomatoes like a Yuppie housewife, please go with that, but please, tuck in your damn fingers and thumb. Otherwise, use a sharp knife, as opposed to the dull piece of crap from that demonstration. Dull knives are what will cause you the most injury in a kitchen. They don't behave normally, they will sometimes catch in odd ways, as you are using more force than necessary, which leads to the knife taking an unpredictable path, and then leading to the knife doing a dance that winds up slicing the wrong damn thing, into your flesh as you press. A sharp knife does exactly the job you ask of it, and if you're holding the damn thing correctly, and your guiding hand is held safely, you won't hurt yourself.

Videos like this ARE very good if your editor has any stock in hospitals or bandage companies though, and thus they persist in teaching piss poor knife skills.


Damnit Hubie I think I love you. I keep telling my wife to tuck her damn fingers and lose the serrated edge. Does she listen...hell no.

/BTW you know who my wife is
//ahickpoet
///you tell her I made this post and we fight
 
2013-08-22 10:01:50 AM  

ginandbacon: Diogenes: My dream job is to be the person who can't manage to perform the simplest tasks on infomercials.

*opens soda can, accidentally decapitates self*

"Has this ever happened to you?"

LOL you are so weird!


You honor me B-)
 
2013-08-22 10:08:41 AM  

nekom: If television has taught me anything, it's that prior to slicing a tomato, a knife should be used to cut a leather boot in half.


It's not the knife, it's the chef.

A shiatty knife can cut through paper and tomatoes like the edge of Japan's finest katana because EVERYTHING can cut through tomatoes and paper.
 
2013-08-22 10:10:18 AM  

basemetal: Like I'm going to take advice from someone who sliced her tomatoes the wrong direction


^ This.  The only part she got right was using a serrated knife.
 
2013-08-22 10:15:02 AM  

Diogenes: ginandbacon: Diogenes: My dream job is to be the person who can't manage to perform the simplest tasks on infomercials.

*opens soda can, accidentally decapitates self*

"Has this ever happened to you?"

LOL you are so weird!

You honor me B-)


Takes one to know one Baby :)
 
2013-08-22 10:15:24 AM  
i have an old 6" Mac chef's knife that the blade is all knicked and pitted on.  it's sort of micro-serrated i guess.  it cuts tomatoes fantastically.
 
2013-08-22 10:16:08 AM  
If you need to watch a video to figure our how to slice a tomato, you don't belong in a kitchen. Much like the woman in the video.
 
2013-08-22 10:16:37 AM  
I throw mine at the ceiling fan.  Perfect slices every time.
 
2013-08-22 10:35:05 AM  

Endive Wombat: You know what kind of knife I use?  A very sharp one.


THIS

i use a wusthof paring knife that i keep sharp as all fark. it has never faltered when cutting a tomato, no matter how ripe.
 
2013-08-22 10:38:32 AM  

Endive Wombat: You know what kind of knife I use?  A very sharp one.

I've got a nice knife set, I keep a whetstone handy, and the most amazing sharpening/honing steel I've ever used:
[www.mpbs.com image 346x144]


I would like to also point out that, unless it specifically says so, honing steels don't sharpen. My parents have a honing steel that they run across their knives and have done so for years. Their knives are totally dull and the only time I've ever cut myself in the kitchen is using their knives. Honing is light maintenance but after a few years there isn't an edge to hone and you need to get them sharpened. Either get a whetstone and learn to sharpen it yourself or find a shop that does it professionally.
 
2013-08-22 10:38:39 AM  
I will cop to using one of these to slice big onions.  I'm really bad at it.

ecx.images-amazon.com
 
2013-08-22 10:58:09 AM  
SLICING tomatoes?

www.bulgariantomatoes.com

Wuss
 
2013-08-22 11:03:10 AM  

odinsposse: I would like to also point out that, unless it specifically says so, honing steels don't sharpen. My parents have a honing steel that they run across their knives and have done so for years. Their knives are totally dull and the only time I've ever cut myself in the kitchen is using their knives. Honing is light maintenance but after a few years there isn't an edge to hone and you need to get them sharpened. Either get a whetstone and learn to sharpen it yourself or find a shop that does it professionally.


after use, a knife edge will roll over a bit. a honing steel will simply re-straighten it. if you don't know how to use one, it can ruin an edge. i'm lazy, so i keep a chef's choice electric sharpener on my counter at all times so i can hone my blades before every use.
 
2013-08-22 11:03:53 AM  

ReapTheChaos: If you need to watch a video to figure our how to slice a tomato, you don't belong in a kitchen. Much like the woman in the video.


This is really all that needs to be said.

Wusthofs in my kitchen.  Serrated knives are for bread.  Only bread.
 
2013-08-22 11:11:17 AM  
Good thing I don;t eat tomatoes unless they're in bite sized cherry tomato or sauce form.
 
2013-08-22 11:21:13 AM  

Endive Wombat: You know what kind of knife I use?  A very sharp one.

I've got a nice knife set, I keep a whetstone handy, and the most amazing sharpening/honing steel I've ever used:
[www.mpbs.com image 346x144]


That's awesome, but you really don't need it for tomatoes. You could probably cut them with a long fingernail just find.
 
2013-08-22 11:21:30 AM  

Diogenes: My dream job is to be the person who can't manage to perform the simplest tasks on infomercials.

*opens soda can, accidentally decapitates self*

"Has this ever happened to you?"


lulz

I love those commercials
 
2013-08-22 11:52:36 AM  
Someone email Red and tell her to put a little more thought into the videos she makes.  If you can't cut a f*cking tomato without cutting yourself, you shouldn't be handling knives.
 
2013-08-22 12:10:41 PM  

Diogenes: My dream job is to be the person who can't manage to perform the simplest tasks on infomercials.

*opens soda can, accidentally decapitates self*

"Has this ever happened to you?"


I ROFL'd.

Good jorb.
 
2013-08-22 12:11:52 PM  
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-08-22 12:44:47 PM  
AMATURE !

pictures.kyozou.com
 
2013-08-22 12:56:28 PM  

hubiestubert: Jeebus Frist...

A serrated bread knife? The chef in me in crying at the wrong that was done to that poor tomato. And the potential wrong done to that poor, ignorant girl's thumb. If you want to cut tomatoes like a Yuppie housewife, please go with that, but please, tuck in your damn fingers and thumb. Otherwise, use a sharp knife, as opposed to the dull piece of crap from that demonstration. Dull knives are what will cause you the most injury in a kitchen. They don't behave normally, they will sometimes catch in odd ways, as you are using more force than necessary, which leads to the knife taking an unpredictable path, and then leading to the knife doing a dance that winds up slicing the wrong damn thing, into your flesh as you press. A sharp knife does exactly the job you ask of it, and if you're holding the damn thing correctly, and your guiding hand is held safely, you won't hurt yourself.

Videos like this ARE very good if your editor has any stock in hospitals or bandage companies though, and thus they persist in teaching piss poor knife skills.


I was done when she hacked the fark out of the top of the tomato. Anyone who wants to convince me that they have a skill to share wold have found a farking tomato shark to core it, and kept it looking nice. Instead, she attacks the tomato like she was farking Leatherface... Yeah, the 'right' serrated knife might be OK, but a(Good quality) sharp knife is really gonna win every time, no matter what.
 
2013-08-22 12:58:22 PM  

doglover: nekom: If television has taught me anything, it's that prior to slicing a tomato, a knife should be used to cut a leather boot in half.

It's not the knife, it's the chef.

A shiatty knife can cut through paper and tomatoes like the edge of Japan's finest katana because EVERYTHING can cut through tomatoes and paper.


No, a dull knife will just squeeze the tomato into submission, and will eventually just rip through paper.
 
2013-08-22 01:00:35 PM  
Oh, you use a knife?  That explains why I have a hard time getting a good dice.  Here I am rendering them asunder with my bear hands.
 
2013-08-22 01:24:41 PM  

Endive Wombat: You know what kind of knife I use?  A very sharp one.


I'm not a professional chef so my endorsement of this statement means little.  However I agree, the only knife you need for tomatoes is a sharp one.  My only major knife scar is from a dull knife coming off of a tomato while I was working as a prep cook.  Now my dullest knife at home is sharp enough to dry shave and not pull a single hair.
 
2013-08-22 01:47:23 PM  
Got me a movie
I want you to know
Slicing up tomatoes
I want you to know
 
2013-08-22 02:04:23 PM  
I actually decided to watch the movie and I think it is as aptly named as my video of How to Score with Women where I go around getting slapped by women after I verbally assault them with bad pickup lines.
 
2013-08-22 03:04:27 PM  

Satan's Bunny Slippers: ReapTheChaos: If you need to watch a video to figure our how to slice a tomato, you don't belong in a kitchen. Much like the woman in the video.

This is really all that needs to be said.

Wusthofs in my kitchen.  Serrated knives are for bread.  Only bread.


You know it's also good on chocolate, tomatoes and other pasteries.  It's a tool. You don' need to be so uptight about it tha tyou become one a knive douche.

/Shun. (also a knife douche)
 
2013-08-22 04:08:24 PM  
This video is a joke right? She butchered that tomato, and I mean butchered in the "murdered" sense and not the "fine cuts of meat" sense.
 
2013-08-22 04:08:37 PM  

hubiestubert: Jeebus Frist...

A serrated bread knife? The chef in me in crying at the wrong that was done to that poor tomato. And the potential wrong done to that poor, ignorant girl's thumb. If you want to cut tomatoes like a Yuppie housewife, please go with that, but please, tuck in your damn fingers and thumb. Otherwise, use a sharp knife, as opposed to the dull piece of crap from that demonstration. Dull knives are what will cause you the most injury in a kitchen. They don't behave normally, they will sometimes catch in odd ways, as you are using more force than necessary, which leads to the knife taking an unpredictable path, and then leading to the knife doing a dance that winds up slicing the wrong damn thing, into your flesh as you press. A sharp knife does exactly the job you ask of it, and if you're holding the damn thing correctly, and your guiding hand is held safely, you won't hurt yourself.

Videos like this ARE very good if your editor has any stock in hospitals or bandage companies though, and thus they persist in teaching piss poor knife skills.


I've cut myself twice recently from letting my Wusthoff get dull (don't judge me!). I just had my knives professionally sharpened and it is like having to learn to cut all over again.
 
2013-08-22 04:13:34 PM  
24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-08-22 04:27:34 PM  
while we're on the subject, can anyone recommend a good instructional video on how to sharpen your knife set?

My wife and I got a really nice set as a wedding present, which came with a steel rod to sharpen, but the mixed answers I've gotten from friends/family about the proper technique has me hesitating before I try to do any sharpening myself.
 
2013-08-22 05:03:50 PM  

Boeheimian Rhapsody: while we're on the subject, can anyone recommend a good instructional video on how to sharpen your knife set?

My wife and I got a really nice set as a wedding present, which came with a steel rod to sharpen, but the mixed answers I've gotten from friends/family about the proper technique has me hesitating before I try to do any sharpening myself.


I've never done a good job sharpening mine. I recommend taking them someplace.
 
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