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(Chicago Trib)   Unemployment website now available in Klingon, because clearly people who can speak a made-up language will be unemployed   (chicagotribune.com) divider line 61
    More: Silly, Klingons, e-government, unemployment, Secretary of State for Employment  
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3862 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Aug 2013 at 9:38 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



61 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-08-22 09:40:32 AM  
What's Klingon for "You've wasted your life, you neckbeard-wearing fatass?"
 
2013-08-22 09:42:46 AM  
There is really only one response to that...
bmj2k.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-08-22 09:48:06 AM  
A klingon would never be unemployed, they would make great managers for fast food restaurants or telemarketing companies.
 
2013-08-22 09:49:08 AM  
Shaka, when the walls fell.
 
2013-08-22 09:52:01 AM  
All languages are made up.
 
182
2013-08-22 09:52:23 AM  
The toughest part about speaking Klingon is telling your parents you're gay.

/oldie but a goodie
 
2013-08-22 09:52:39 AM  
"To the best of my knowledge, we don't have any certified Klingon translators on staff," Rivara said.

At least not that anyone was willing to admit
 
2013-08-22 09:53:06 AM  

Headso: A klingon would never be unemployed, they would make great managers for fast food restaurants or telemarketing companies.


That, and the average American who's intelligent enough to learn Klingon will be able to find a job.

//They'll be another Aspie in IT, but that kinda goes without saying.
 
2013-08-22 09:53:24 AM  
Are not all languages "made up" ?
 
2013-08-22 09:55:03 AM  
"The Klingon translation started out as a promotion for the "Star Trek Into Darkness" movie that premiered in May."

Wow, Chicago must really be broke. It's a good thing we don't have any of the people who ran it into the ground in the federal government.
 
2013-08-22 09:57:07 AM  
I'm not sure if subby is being sarcastic or not, but anyone that puts time into learning a made up and utterly useless language probably does  not makes the smartest life decisions to begin with.
 
2013-08-22 09:57:22 AM  
A Klingon would not go to an unemployment website. Instead, they would perform the:

Hegh'bat
Literally translated as "The time to die", this is a Klingon ritualized suicide. When a Warrior can no longer stand and face his enemies, he brings himself an honorable death thru this ceremony. The eldest son of the individual, or a close friend would bring a ceremonial knife to the warrior who would plunge it into his or her chest. The son or friend would then remove the knife and wipe it on their sleeve.
 
2013-08-22 09:57:52 AM  
They're using a free translation service that can translate the site into many different languages, including Klingon. There are linguists who study it. Not more or less valid than any other language.

It was made up? So were all the others!
 
2013-08-22 10:00:03 AM  
Mi parolas esperanton kaj mi ĝuas tiun fadenon.
 
2013-08-22 10:02:25 AM  
A warrior does not work. A warrior conquers and takes!
 
2013-08-22 10:03:39 AM  

big pig peaches: "The Klingon translation started out as a promotion for the "Star Trek Into Darkness" movie that premiered in May."

Wow, Chicago must really be broke. It's a good thing we don't have any of the people who ran it into the ground in the federal government.


My mistake, it's the whole state. Still a good thing none of thier politicians have a real position of influence in the federal government.
 
2013-08-22 10:07:05 AM  
Today..is a good day to get a job
 
2013-08-22 10:08:44 AM  
I am more worried our state trusts a translation server to do good translations....
 
2013-08-22 10:10:26 AM  
You've translated the information site? You expect me to follow the orders of a computer? There is no honor in that. A warrior must command the machine. I demand to speak with a Klingon-speaking public servant at once, or I will kill each of you in single combat.
 
2013-08-22 10:18:16 AM  
Public servants lack the HONOR to use that language!
 
2013-08-22 10:18:39 AM  
But what about Quenya?

How will people read the Theses?

mantiseye.com

Well, at least I have a job.

/And some spiffy extra arms.
 
2013-08-22 10:21:23 AM  
At least it didn't cost anything.
 
2013-08-22 10:22:47 AM  
I think Lojban missed a chance by not rebranding itself as "Vulcan."
 
2013-08-22 10:31:29 AM  

CokeBear: Not more or less valid than any other language.


You keep thinking that. The rest of us will continue to know better.
 
2013-08-22 10:32:30 AM  
If that idiot Roddenberry had just made Klingon the same as Cantonese there'd be almost no Trekkie unemployment.  Though the Chinese would probably hate us a lot more than they already do.
 
2013-08-22 10:32:43 AM  
Subby is a petaQ.
 
2013-08-22 10:42:19 AM  
6502, 8051, Z80, ARM, Pascal, BASIC, C, C++, C#, Algol, Prolog, occam, Ada, LISP, COBOL, Java, Javascript, Logo, Femto, Ato, Pico
 
2013-08-22 10:46:30 AM  
Working sucks. Take over the Alpha quadrant.
 
2013-08-22 10:50:24 AM  
Of Course no such words as Unemployment or Appeal  in Klingon, which I've not found, made nor taken the time to learn.  Unemployment doesn't exist, as Warriors are never unemployed, stated above.  Don't I recall from Ago that all Klingons are meant to be warriors?  Appeal signifies Weakness!!!
Q'tah-fooey!  snark snark
 
2013-08-22 10:52:06 AM  
If you are over the age of 11 and have taken the time to learn Klingon, it's probably a good idea to kill yourself.
 
2013-08-22 10:56:36 AM  

jonmurr: Are not all languages "made up" ?


No.  Languages evolve.  What we have as langauges now may have started out with a few grunts, but have morhped into what we have now.

Made up languages are those that take a common language that already exists and simply come up with new terms and words for usage.   Like Klingon, for instance.  That one didn't evolve, it was made up based on existing rules in existing langauges.
 
2013-08-22 11:00:35 AM  
Well where is the website that I can use my doctorate in sanskrit?
 
2013-08-22 11:03:31 AM  
farm3.static.flickr.com

farm4.static.flickr.com
 
2013-08-22 11:08:48 AM  
I think they need to do Ewok next.
 
2013-08-22 11:25:51 AM  

Headso: A klingon would never be unemployed, they would make great managers for fast food restaurants or telemarketing companies.


Yeah, but their requirements for a promotion are a real killer.
 
2013-08-22 11:26:15 AM  

Gonz: Headso: A klingon would never be unemployed, they would make great managers for fast food restaurants or telemarketing companies.

That, and the average American who's intelligent enough to learn Klingon will be able to find a job.

//They'll be another Aspie in IT, but that kinda goes without saying.


If someone were to put Klingon on a Resume that came across my desk they'd get an interview, if they could speak it they'd most likely get a job.
 
2013-08-22 11:28:43 AM  
They could get work at psychiatric hospitals. There's been numerous cases of mentally ill patients refusing to speak in anything but klingon, so they hire translators who speak klingon.
 
2013-08-22 11:29:29 AM  

Lt_Ryan: Gonz: Headso: A klingon would never be unemployed, they would make great managers for fast food restaurants or telemarketing companies.

That, and the average American who's intelligent enough to learn Klingon will be able to find a job.

//They'll be another Aspie in IT, but that kinda goes without saying.

If someone were to put Klingon on a Resume that came across my desk they'd get an interview, if they could speak it they'd most likely get a job.


Now we know Chancellor Martok's Fark handle.
 
2013-08-22 11:34:38 AM  
Oh, Subby? Shatner did a whole film in Esperanto yet he works constantly.
 
2013-08-22 11:34:59 AM  
Illinois? Unemployment? Next thing the website will be offering service in Liberal Dog Whistle.
 
2013-08-22 11:40:04 AM  
Today IS a good day to collect welfare!

DNRTFA
 
2013-08-22 11:41:30 AM  

laulaja: Of Course no such words as Unemployment...in Klingon


Generally, when a language has no word for unemployment, you can safely translate their word for "undateable" and get the same concept across.
 
2013-08-22 11:42:04 AM  
I don't want to alarm anyone, but I'm getting the feeling people in here are justifying their knowledge of Klingon by comparing it to other USEFUL languages.
Learning Klingon would be a hobby.  Like playing basketball or maintaining your garden. Putting "Klingon" on your resume and hoping to gain favor from it seems a bit risky unless you knew that the person interviewing you would appreciate it.
 
2013-08-22 11:55:17 AM  

2wolves: All languages are made up.


I came in to say this, exactly.
 
2013-08-22 11:57:17 AM  
My B.S. alarm just went off. Remember when people said that mental health department were looking for people that could speak Klingon?
 
2013-08-22 11:59:58 AM  
I despair for humanity when I see stories like this.
 
2013-08-22 12:00:22 PM  

Outrageous Muff: What's Klingon for "You've wasted your life, you neckbeard-wearing fatass?"


Learning Klingon is no more wasting your life than watching professional sports and memorizing stats.
 
2013-08-22 12:01:45 PM  

Headso: A klingon would never be unemployed, they would make great managers for fast food restaurants or telemarketing companies.


Why was there never an episode/storyline where some group of Klingons realized that business is war and began a trade war with the Ferengi while quoting Sun Tzu and Miyamoto Musashi?
 
2013-08-22 12:06:12 PM  

Mock26: Outrageous Muff: What's Klingon for "You've wasted your life, you neckbeard-wearing fatass?"

Learning Klingon is no more wasting your life than watching professional sports and memorizing stats.


Sooooo it is wasting your life.
 
2013-08-22 12:06:46 PM  

genner: Mock26: Outrageous Muff: What's Klingon for "You've wasted your life, you neckbeard-wearing fatass?"

Learning Klingon is no more wasting your life than watching professional sports and memorizing stats.

Sooooo it is wasting your life.


No more so than posting on Fark.
 
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