If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Gizmodo)   UK wants to ban cell phones designed to fit up prisoner butts   (gizmodo.com) divider line 60
    More: Amusing, cell phones, body orifice, prisoners, San Quentin  
•       •       •

3033 clicks; posted to Geek » on 21 Aug 2013 at 11:55 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



60 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-08-21 08:19:12 PM
"Hello butt, this is dog. sniff sniff"
 
2013-08-21 08:21:01 PM
Well then, take a crack at it, Mate.
 
2013-08-21 08:27:20 PM
No 'Asinine' tag?
 
2013-08-21 08:57:03 PM
imageshack.us

Made this a few years ago for another thread.
 
2013-08-21 09:07:11 PM
What anus taunt!
 
2013-08-21 09:10:32 PM
Wait.  They're designing them with that purpose?

That really is a niche market.
 
2013-08-21 09:20:56 PM
Just a minute, I gotta take this...
 
2013-08-21 10:00:39 PM
Those telemarketers are a pain in the ass . . .
 
2013-08-21 11:03:30 PM
Adds a new dimension to the term "butt dialing".
 
2013-08-21 11:07:58 PM
Buttafuoco could smuggle a phone booth.
 
2013-08-21 11:08:21 PM

simplicimus: Adds a new dimension to the term "butt dialing".


And 'talking shiat.'
 
2013-08-21 11:20:42 PM

Godscrack: simplicimus: Adds a new dimension to the term "butt dialing".

And 'talking shiat.'


And maybe "talking out of his ass".
 
2013-08-21 11:37:54 PM
The UK should also ban John Calipari for ncaa recruiting violations.
 
2013-08-22 12:01:22 AM
Maybe the UK needs a special officer looking for phones up the butt. A "Fanny Farmer".
 
2013-08-22 12:14:29 AM
Is this really such a pressing concern that it's worth legislating?  Are they going to suddenly stop doing an occasional cavity check once this scourge is suddenly illegal?
 
2013-08-22 12:15:13 AM
They can have mine when they pry it out of my cold dead...
 
2013-08-22 12:19:35 AM
Boy this sure beats having your outside buddies pay off a guard to get you your phone, including a charger....

/Cash bribes are awesome provided you are not an idiot by flashing the cash all over the place.
 
2013-08-22 12:21:35 AM
With the feature phone on the way out and smartphones turning into phablets, you'll soon need to be Goatse to fit even a prepaid burner up your cornhole.
 
2013-08-22 12:22:27 AM
in the comments section someone has a pic of an old brick cell with the words "todays prisoners have it easy"
 
2013-08-22 12:26:37 AM
That sh*t is bananas.
 
2013-08-22 12:28:23 AM

simplicimus: Godscrack: simplicimus: Adds a new dimension to the term "butt dialing".

And 'talking shiat.'

And maybe "talking out of his ass".


The coverage must be crap...
 
2013-08-22 12:32:47 AM
Sure, but repeat offenders will still be sneaking in their iPads.
 
2013-08-22 12:37:04 AM
This is where 3-D printed guns will end up. The butt-plug gun. I'm sure some design genius is already on it for the commercial model and pitching it to the producers at Shark Tank.
 
2013-08-22 12:45:37 AM
The obvious next step is to make all cell phones look like this:

24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-08-22 12:48:59 AM

fusillade762: The obvious next step is to make all cell phones look like this:

[24.media.tumblr.com image 500x600]


Night-time minutes start at 11 pm? Oh that's brutal.
 
2013-08-22 12:54:28 AM
and for those lonely nights bubba is off with his other cell whores, the vibrate function can be set to extra strong
 
2013-08-22 01:04:39 AM

Mad_Radhu: fusillade762: The obvious next step is to make all cell phones look like this:

[24.media.tumblr.com image 500x600]

Night-time minutes start at 11 pm? Oh that's brutal.


"All I can hears is Murderface talking."

"Wait, is there only one line that can be used?"

"Yes, that's how you wanted it."

"That's brutal."
 
2013-08-22 01:06:19 AM
I'd hate to be the one who has to talk on that phone after it has been kiestered in.
 
2013-08-22 01:14:29 AM
My celly's is 20 years into a life sentence. He's not very strong.

He's got the Samsung Galaxy Note II.
 
2013-08-22 01:18:43 AM
Wait till they sell those phones on ebay.
 
2013-08-22 01:24:09 AM
kdmuir.com
 
2013-08-22 02:11:52 AM
img.gawkerassets.com

Every one of these phones has been up a prisoner's ass.
 
2013-08-22 02:17:06 AM

spamdog: [img.gawkerassets.com image 640x360]

Every one of these phones has been up a prisoner's ass.


No they haven't. They pay a guard or some other staf to bring them in and stash them someplace were they can get them
 
2013-08-22 02:27:14 AM
Just so y'know, "fanny" means a different orifice in English English.

/tmyk
 
2013-08-22 02:28:46 AM

ongbok: No they haven't. They pay a guard or some other staf to bring them in and stash them someplace were they can get them


Listen, it's very important for comedic reasons that I believe all of these phones have been up prisoner's asses. I like to think that there was one prisoner with a colon like a gym bag who is smuggling these in by the dozen. You want the new Samsung Galaxy with the bigger screen, you gotta pay him a bit extra for the storage space. This man's ass is like a mobile telecommunications network. He turns on the wifi of all of them, his ass can download faster than a cable modem.
 
2013-08-22 02:33:12 AM

sheep snorter: Boy this sure beats having your outside buddies pay off a guard to get you your phone, including a charger....

/Cash bribes are awesome provided you are not an idiot by flashing the cash all over the place.


in further news: prison guard cash revenue dropping due to unauthorized smuggling.
 
2013-08-22 03:09:09 AM

spamdog: [img.gawkerassets.com image 640x360]

Every one of these phones has been up a prisoner's ass.


Nah, that's just what they found up in HotKinkyJo...
 
2013-08-22 04:22:41 AM
Sure beats the older phones
articles.projectorpeople.com
 
2013-08-22 05:25:41 AM

spamdog: [img.gawkerassets.com image 640x360]

Every one of these phones has been up a prisoner's ass.


Believe it or not, there are other ways of getting things into a prison besides someones ass.
 
2013-08-22 05:37:36 AM

Mega Steve: Sure beats the older phones
[articles.projectorpeople.com image 300x345]


B*tch, please.
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-08-22 06:31:05 AM
Put the phone on vibrate, shove it up your bum buddy's bum, and while you're doing the business, give it a call.
 
2013-08-22 06:45:06 AM

ReapTheChaos: spamdog: [img.gawkerassets.com image 640x360]

Every one of these phones has been up a prisoner's ass.

Believe it or not, there are other ways of getting things into a prison besides someones ass.


No there is not! Why, even the guards have t be brought in stuffed up a prisoner's ass. Why do you think they call them "screws"?
 
2013-08-22 06:51:10 AM
Ass-Phones > Ass-Pennies
 
2013-08-22 07:19:48 AM

ongbok: No they haven't. They pay a guard or some other staf to bring them in and stash them someplace were they can get them


There's a pretty fine line between the two sides in most joints.  Certainly between front-line guards and the inmates.  Of course, my state pays them less than TSA agents get paid, needs thousands, and so gets quality.
 
2013-08-22 07:22:19 AM

I_Am_Weasel: Wait.  They're designing them with that purpose?

That really is a niche market.


With millions in jail in the USA and more across the world it is actually more of a captive market...
 
2013-08-22 07:24:02 AM

fusillade762: The obvious next step is to make all cell phones look like this:

[24.media.tumblr.com image 500x600]


I really hates it.
 
2013-08-22 07:26:26 AM
Oh god one of the seized phones in those pictures is a blackberry storm.  How could you even distinguish it from the ordinary contents of your colon in order to remove it?
 
2013-08-22 07:33:46 AM

spamdog: [img.gawkerassets.com image 640x360]

Every one of these phones has been up a prisoner's ass.


i.imgur.com
Approves of their business acumen.
 
2013-08-22 07:42:04 AM
They came for the butt-phones and I said nothing, because I did not want a phone up my butt...
 
2013-08-22 07:43:05 AM

skinink: Maybe the UK needs a special officer looking for phones up the butt. A "Fanny Farmer".


So you want some who only looks at female prisoners vaginas?   Strange considering the article and headline but OK.
 
Displayed 50 of 60 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report