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(WMCTV)   "Satan couldn't be everywhere, so he created liquor stores, nightclubs and beer joints"   (wmctv.com) divider line 135
    More: Obvious, Satans, Mid South, Valley Drive around, Memphis Police Department, joints, WMC-TV, society, Dollywood  
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4673 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Aug 2013 at 4:42 PM (49 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



135 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-08-21 02:44:22 PM
Thank you, Satan.
 
2013-08-21 02:50:33 PM
Praise be to Satan!
 
2013-08-21 02:56:02 PM
He also built my hotrod.
 
2013-08-21 02:57:51 PM
That Satan guy makes me think that not all Christians are bad after all.
 
2013-08-21 02:58:26 PM
i105.photobucket.com
 
2013-08-21 02:58:44 PM
Thank God!
 
2013-08-21 03:05:22 PM
And Slim Whitman records
 
2013-08-21 03:19:04 PM
He also played hockey in the late 90s-early2000s. He was kind of busy then.
 
2013-08-21 03:19:05 PM

jasonvatch: Thank you, Satan.


Gecko Gingrich: Praise be to Satan!


I was going to go with "Hail Satan" but those will do nicely.

/Do wish we had more pubs as opposed to beer joints...
 
2013-08-21 03:19:40 PM

dickfreckle: He also built my hotrod.



Did you ding a ding dang your dang a long ling long?
 
2013-08-21 03:28:43 PM
img1.imagesbn.com

/Obscure?
 
2013-08-21 03:31:02 PM
I just read the article, and you know what?  I think I learned something today...
 
2013-08-21 03:39:10 PM
There was an Australian comedian I saw one night on HBO. Yes, I'd had a few by then. He talked of the fight between God and the Devil. And he said 'really, if I were the devil, and I was the worst of the worst and I was trying to get everyone to totally do bad and be sent to hell, would I really want my followers to suffer? No. I'd want to reward them. With hookers. And blow. And beer. And good times for everyone. Yeah, nice job on giving God the finger. He doesn't want you. Come on in.'

Something like that. Anyways, awesome take on the devil. Made me a fan.
 
2013-08-21 03:42:01 PM
I'm beginning to think this Satan guy is getting a bad rap.
 
2013-08-21 04:06:26 PM
Last I knew Satan was playing hockey back in Slovakia.
 
2013-08-21 04:11:51 PM

meat0918: Last I knew Satan was playing hockey back in Slovakia.


I don't know about that, but some IT guy had fun with the raw URL at Yahoo! Sports...

http://sports.yahoo.com/nhl/players/666
 
2013-08-21 04:12:14 PM
i105.photobucket.com
 
2013-08-21 04:15:00 PM

impaler: I'm beginning to think this Satan guy is getting a bad rap.


In Keith Laumer's short "The Devil You Don't", Lucifer comes to Earth looking for help from a physics professor because extra-dimension imps had invaded Hell, causing an upset to the laws of chance.

--------------------------

'"Everything has been going to Hell," Lucifer said gloomily. "What I mean to say is," he said, making an effort to straighten up and focus properly, "that everything that can go wrong, does go wrong."'

"That would appear to be contrary to the statistics of causality," Dimpleby said carefully.

"That's it, Professor! They're upsetting the laws of chance! Now, in the old days, when a pair of our lads stepped outside for a little hearty sword-fighting between drinks, one would be a little drunker than the other, and he'd soon be out of it for the day, while the other chap reeled back inside to continue the party. Now, they each accidentally knee each other in the groin and they both lie around groaning until sundown, which upsets everybody. The same for the lute players and lovers: the strings break just at the most climactic passage, or they accidentally pick a patch of poison ivy for their tryst, or possibly just a touch of diarrhea at the wrong moment, but you can imagine what it's doing to morale."''

--------------------------

Sounds like Hell is normally a fun place.
 
2013-08-21 04:33:29 PM
If you're advertising for a religion, you're doing it wrong.

Unless that religion is Satanism, then I suppose you can carry on.
 
2013-08-21 04:46:20 PM
"I am not confident in my ability to control my impulses or to positively influence my community, so I'm gonna blame the devil for everything!"
 
2013-08-21 04:46:57 PM
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-08-21 04:47:01 PM
Nothing exists without God's consent.

Right?
 
2013-08-21 04:47:32 PM

impaler: I'm beginning to think this Satan guy is getting a bad rap.


I'm tending to agree here
 
2013-08-21 04:47:48 PM
That sounds remarkably like something Larry Fishburne said in Boyz in the Hood, though replace Satan with white people (which is pretty much the same thing).

www.kcrw.com
 
2013-08-21 04:47:51 PM
I thought the bible was pretty clear that satan can't "make" anything?

These signs are tricks!

"He just kept saying Dyersburg needs to be taught a lesson," said Marsh who said the caller hung up on him.

The lesson is some christians are self-righteous douchebags?
 
2013-08-21 04:48:02 PM
#1 in Customer Service: Satan!
 
2013-08-21 04:49:45 PM
Something tells me the sign maker's wife got drunk and boned the neighbor.
 
2013-08-21 04:50:22 PM
 Wanted for questioning:


wp.patheos.com.s3.amazonaws.com
 
2013-08-21 04:50:26 PM
Beer joint?  Who says that?  It's a brew pub.
 
2013-08-21 04:51:20 PM
Don't forget his minons in the GOP
 
2013-08-21 04:51:43 PM
You see. There's a little bit of good in anyone.

Hail Satan [BURP]!
 
2013-08-21 04:52:05 PM
And dinosaur bones, don't forget those!
 
2013-08-21 04:52:11 PM
"Satan couldn't be everywhere, so he created liquor stores, nightclubs and beer joints"

Subby forgot the bestus...Devil Weed. :)
 
2013-08-21 04:52:26 PM
If Satan is responsible for all that then the least he could do is pay a round once in a while.
 
2013-08-21 04:52:32 PM
Small town news is just the greatest. I'm glad that "The Investigators" are on the case, working hard to find out the truth.
 
2013-08-21 04:52:49 PM
He created church *first*

For the suckers
 
2013-08-21 04:53:22 PM
Satan, the savior of the human race, by giving access to knowledge, as was told in the fictional book the Bible.

/I bring you knowledge as that dumbf*ck God over there is jerking off to your nakedness 24/7.
//And don't even ask what happens while you sleep so soundly at night.
///Atheists also brought knowledge via the Internet and computers. To bad that Facebook creator breeds retards.
 
2013-08-21 04:54:06 PM
i3.ytimg.com
Eye... Warship... Satin?

/"Excrement!"
 
2013-08-21 04:54:10 PM
Hail Satin
 
2013-08-21 04:55:03 PM
upload.wikimedia.org
"I hate it when those nitwits confuse me with Satan."

On another note, it's pretty difficult to find an image of Bacchus that doesn't have naked chicks or Bacchus dick. God of Tits and Wine indeed.
 
2013-08-21 04:55:16 PM
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com
 
2013-08-21 04:55:21 PM

LeroyBourne: Beer joint?  Who says that?  It's a brew pub.


Technically, beer joints(or bars, saloons, etc.) sell other breweries' beer.
Brew pubs brew on premises and sell their own beer, and possibly other craft beer, depending upon state alcohol laws.
\TMYK.
 
2013-08-21 04:57:14 PM
If Christ's truth is offensive to you, perhaps you need to rethink your life.
 
2013-08-21 04:57:22 PM

LeroyBourne: Beer joint?  Who says that?  It's a brew pub.


When I was a kid in East Tennessee, I lived in a damp county. No liquor/wine stores outside the city of Oak Ridge, no beer sold in groceries, but there was a local beer joint. A cinderblock roadhouse with neon Bud signs in the window. Nobody went there but drunks. The attitude toward alcohol was you were a teetotaller, or a drunk. Nothing in between.
 
2013-08-21 04:58:14 PM

talkertopc: If Satan is responsible for all that then the least he could do is pay a round once in a while.


He buys the last round. The one you should have skipped.

Usually well Tequila...
 
2013-08-21 04:58:30 PM

FunkOut: "I hate it when those nitwits confuse me with Satan."

On another note, it's pretty difficult to find an image of Bacchus that doesn't have naked chicks or Bacchus dick. God of Tits and Wine indeed.


Has the Orgy pit been scraped and oiled as to my specifications?
 
2013-08-21 04:58:53 PM
I thank Satan every day for gay porn as I spill my seed on the rug under the computer desk.
 
2013-08-21 04:59:19 PM
Omg I LOVE Satan and liquor stores and nightclubs AND beer joints!!! Where do I sign up? Is there a waiting list?
 
2013-08-21 04:59:58 PM

Matthew Keene: I thank Satan every day for gay porn as I spill my seed on the rug under the computer desk.


Ew. Ever heard of Kleenex, for cryi?
 
2013-08-21 05:00:04 PM

UberDave: jasonvatch: Thank you, Satan.

Gecko Gingrich: Praise be to Satan!

I was going to go with "Hail Satan" but those will do nicely.

/Do wish we had more pubs as opposed to beer joints...


So will this:
kimkiminy.com
 
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