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(Sky.com)   Someone's goose is going to be cooked if they ever find out who barbecued one of the Queen's swans at Windsor Castle   ( news.sky.com) divider line
    More: Sick, Windsor Castle  
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4260 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Aug 2013 at 1:57 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



77 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-08-21 01:12:44 PM  
FTFA: "Park wardens made the gruesome discovery in Windsor, Berkshire, at 3pm on Sunday, and called Swan Lifeline, which cares for sick or injured birds along the Thames."

The wardens found it cooked with its meat stripped off - what were the rescue folks going to do?
 
2013-08-21 01:32:42 PM  
I mean, at least CLEAN the thing first, you savages.
 
2013-08-21 01:33:48 PM  
From the Mirror article:

The birds are now protected under under the Wildlife and Countryside Act 1981 and killing or injuring a swan used to be classed as treason under a law dating back to the 12th century.


Off with their heads!!!
 
2013-08-21 01:48:39 PM  

AlwaysRightBoy: From the Mirror article:

The birds are now protected under under the Wildlife and Countryside Act 1981 and killing or injuring a swan used to be classed as treason under a law dating back to the 12th century.


Off with their heads!!!


I'm pretty sure it used to be a hanging offense, along with poaching the king's deer.
 
2013-08-21 01:52:50 PM  
Queen illegal Windsor Park to swan kill in it a is?!
 
2013-08-21 01:56:26 PM  

AlwaysRightBoy: From the Mirror article:

The birds are now protected under under the Wildlife and Countryside Act 1981 and killing or injuring a swan used to be classed as treason under a law dating back to the 12th century.


Off with their heads!!!


s3.amazonaws.com

OVER THAT BOY HAND!
 
2013-08-21 01:59:25 PM  

Shostie: AlwaysRightBoy: From the Mirror article:

The birds are now protected under under the Wildlife and Countryside Act 1981 and killing or injuring a swan used to be classed as treason under a law dating back to the 12th century.


Off with their heads!!!

[s3.amazonaws.com image 179x240]

OVER THAT BOY HAND!


King illegal forest to swan wild kill in it a is!
 
2013-08-21 02:00:01 PM  
www.english-shop.de
 
2013-08-21 02:00:11 PM  

naughtyrev: FTFA: "Park wardens made the gruesome discovery in Windsor, Berkshire, at 3pm on Sunday, and called Swan Lifeline, which cares for sick or injured birds along the Thames."

The wardens found it cooked with its meat stripped off - what were the rescue folks going to do?


It might have been pining for the fjords.
 
2013-08-21 02:00:56 PM  
And now the Royal Snakesmear Company will perform Swan Bake
 
2013-08-21 02:01:27 PM  

Shostie: AlwaysRightBoy: From the Mirror article:

The birds are now protected under under the Wildlife and Countryside Act 1981 and killing or injuring a swan used to be classed as treason under a law dating back to the 12th century.


Off with their heads!!!

[s3.amazonaws.com image 179x240]

OVER THAT BOY HAND!


They'll make up over the present Robin gives the king later that night.

i223.photobucket.com
/"Treif."
 
2013-08-21 02:02:47 PM  
The Queen's you say?
 
2013-08-21 02:04:13 PM  

naughtyrev: FTFA: "Park wardens made the gruesome discovery in Windsor, Berkshire, at 3pm on Sunday, and called Swan Lifeline, which cares for sick or injured birds along the Thames."

The wardens found it cooked with its meat stripped off - what were the rescue folks going to do?


TFA says that the carcass was taken to the Swan Lifeline to be cremated.

Let that sink in for a moment.
 
2013-08-21 02:04:29 PM  
Came for the Robin Hood: Men in Tights references, leaving satisified.
 
2013-08-21 02:05:18 PM  

naughtyrev: FTFA: "Park wardens made the gruesome discovery in Windsor, Berkshire, at 3pm on Sunday, and called Swan Lifeline, which cares for sick or injured birds along the Thames."

The wardens found it cooked with its meat stripped off - what were the rescue folks going to do?


Article doesn't say, but I'm guessing it had a leg band and instructions to report to them if you find the animal dead.
 
2013-08-21 02:05:26 PM  
I have no idea and it wasn't as good as it looked.  still filling though.
 
2013-08-21 02:06:12 PM  
looks like the culprit swanned off
 
2013-08-21 02:06:23 PM  

TapDancingTamarin: Came for the Robin Hood: Men in Tights references, leaving satisified.


Oddly specific fetish you have.
 
2013-08-21 02:06:58 PM  
Sounds dirty.

"Oh, off to gonna give the lady the ol' Queen's Swan, eh? Well, enjoy!"

/the first image that popped in was...off.
 
2013-08-21 02:07:26 PM  
Disgusting!

....that they didn't take the carcass for stock.
 
2013-08-21 02:07:30 PM  
upload.wikimedia.org
RIP Lynn Swann
 
2013-08-21 02:08:42 PM  

DarkSoulNoHope: Shostie: AlwaysRightBoy: From the Mirror article:

The birds are now protected under under the Wildlife and Countryside Act 1981 and killing or injuring a swan used to be classed as treason under a law dating back to the 12th century.


Off with their heads!!!

[s3.amazonaws.com image 179x240]

OVER THAT BOY HAND!

They'll make up over the present Robin gives the king later that night.

[i223.photobucket.com image 400x200]
/"Treif."


He deered to kill a king's dare.
 
2013-08-21 02:09:29 PM  
farm8.staticflickr.com
 
2013-08-21 02:10:02 PM  
They cremated a cooked swan?
 
2013-08-21 02:10:17 PM  

She said the carcass was taken back to the Swan Lifeline centre to be cremated.


I've never had Swan burnt ends.  I wonder how they taste.
 
2013-08-21 02:10:54 PM  
www.mbird.com

Serves that damn swan right.

It was done for the greater good.
 
2013-08-21 02:11:27 PM  
i1.ytimg.com
 
2013-08-21 02:11:31 PM  
If your going to cook it at least do it right. Take the feathers off and take out the guts. If your going to kill a bird at least dress it and eat it correctly.
 
2013-08-21 02:12:09 PM  
My first suspicions would be those those incorrigible lads from Porter house. But, they are allowed two swans for their yearly banquet so it couldn't have been them.

/That's right, I'm an American and I know that

//You just had your preconceptions invalidated
 
2013-08-21 02:12:59 PM  
Barbecued swan......sounds delicious.
 
2013-08-21 02:13:43 PM  
images1.wikia.nocookie.net
Wanted for questioning.
 
2013-08-21 02:14:47 PM  
Bet you it was Roma Gypsies. Vile bunch of people.
 
2013-08-21 02:14:57 PM  

God Is My Co-Pirate: AlwaysRightBoy: From the Mirror article:

The birds are now protected under under the Wildlife and Countryside Act 1981 and killing or injuring a swan used to be classed as treason under a law dating back to the 12th century.


Off with their heads!!!

I'm pretty sure it used to be a hanging offense, along with poaching the king's deer.


Get it straight people.
ROAST the deer.
POACH the swans
 
2013-08-21 02:15:55 PM  
I have', answered Gargantua, 'by a long and curious experience found out a means to wipe my bum. The most lordly, the most excellent, the most convenient that was ever seen. I have wiped my tail with a hen, with a cock, with a pullet, with a calf's skin, with a hare, with a pigeon, with a cormorant, with an attorney's bag, with a Montero, with a falconer's lure. But to conclude, I say and maintain that of all the torcheculs, arsewisps, bumfodders, tail-napkins, bunghole cleansers, and wipe-breeches, there is none in the world comparable to the neck of a goose, that is well downed, if you hold her head betwixt your legs. And believe me therein upon mine honour, for you will thereby feel in your nockhole a most wonderful pleasure, both in regard of the softness of the said down and of the temporate heat of the goose, which is easily communicated to the bum-gut and the rest of the inwards, in so far as to come even to the regions of the heart and brains.
 
2013-08-21 02:16:48 PM  
images4.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-08-21 02:17:28 PM  

curtis_e_bare: She said the carcass was taken back to the Swan Lifeline centre to be cremated.


I've never had Swan burnt ends.  I wonder how they taste.


I bet they taste fowl.
 
2013-08-21 02:18:15 PM  
I shall sing a song in memory of this seared swan.
I will call it... "Fancy Dead Bird Song"
 
2013-08-21 02:21:07 PM  
Not like it was a pet. She likely wouldn't even notice it was gone if someone didn't tell her.
 
2013-08-21 02:23:39 PM  
I submitted the Mirror link with a worse headline. :( I was hoping to get my first greenlight for my birthday. Oh well, there's always next year.
 
2013-08-21 02:26:14 PM  
Swans were once a royal privilege in England. This was back in the days when Europeans had nearly wiped out many of the more popular species of bird, animals and fish. The response was to set a a series of sumptuary laws that gave only select people the right to hunt, kill and eat various animals, birds and fish.

Environmentalism imposed as a privilege of rank, station and class, so to speak, rather than a complete ban on hunting or molesting the rare creatures. In the case of swans, the Sovereign did not have exclusive rights to eat them but they were served at royal banquets. I believe not all swans were "protected"--just the swans in certain places perhaps, because there was a trade in swans elsewhere. I read of a monastery in England which still breeds swans. Presumably they are bred as ornaments for estates and parks, and occasionally to be served at banquets, along with peacocks which were frequently roasted and served with their beautiful tail feathers as a show-piece during a very formal meal.

It was a huge honour to be granted the right to keep swans, and even today, the City of Ottawa has a pair of swans descended from a gift from HM Elizabeth II. They are quite costly to house during the Canadian winters. A corporation donated $150,000 or so to build a swan house for them some years ago when the City was balking at the cost.

In falconry, for another example, Emperors had the right to use eagles, Kings had the exclusive right to peregrine falcons (as Middle Eastern royalty still do, seeing as they are very expensive birds to buy), and right on down to sparrow hawks, which could be used by upper class women, presumably to hunt very small birds indeed as they get their name from their usual prey.

Many "primitive" peoples have taboos on the killing of certain animals or their consumption. It is often prohibited except on very special occasions to eat the totemic or taboo animal. Our own laws against killing birds on their nests and so forth are descended from such taboos, and they are to be found in the Torah, where it is prohibited to molest or kill various clean animals. Thou shalt not muzzle the ox that treads the grain, for example. Basic anti-cruelty laws and ecological wisdom takes the forms of such taboos and are much older than you might think--thousands of years old in some cases.

Thus many species that were hunted close to extinction were preserved unto this very day by religion and privilege. Rich people have their uses from time to time.
 
2013-08-21 02:30:56 PM  

ddam: Bet you it was Roma Gypsies. Vile bunch of people.


Even in jest...

Kiss my lily white ass...
 
2013-08-21 02:33:51 PM  
Why doesn't Hitler ever cook at barbecues?

He always burns the Franks.
 
2013-08-21 02:39:46 PM  
It's a bird, damnit. A pretty bird, but still a bird. Get over it.
 
2013-08-21 02:39:50 PM  

Shadow Blasko: ddam: Bet you it was Roma Gypsies. Vile bunch of people.

Even in jest...

Kiss my lily white ass...


I'm Romanian. I've had plenty of experience with them in Romania and a few in So Cal.

Not so cool stroy: A few years ago a lady with a small kid asks me for money at a gas station. I really didn't have any (I paid with my card) so I told her I didn't. She walks away from me calling me all kind of names in Romanian and when I let her know that I understood what she was saying she really went off the rails. As I finish up pumping the gas she walks over to her Mercedes, gets in and drives off.

And let's not get into the child prostitution, slavery, crime, abuse of government programs, etc that they do.
 
2013-08-21 02:44:38 PM  
David Barber, The Queen's Swan Marker, said he was appalled by the incident.

I thought, at first, this said the Queen's Swan Maker
 
2013-08-21 02:48:34 PM  

Dirtybird971: David Barber, The Queen's Swan Marker, said he was appalled by the incident.

I thought, at first, this said the Queen's Swan Maker


Odin approves!
 
2013-08-21 02:52:07 PM  
pikeys
 
2013-08-21 03:01:26 PM  
Wanted for questioning:
www.thescificast.com
 
2013-08-21 03:08:52 PM  

Shostie: I mean, at least CLEAN the thing first, you savages.


No kidding. Cooked with the feathers on? And what do you suppose they did with the guts?
 
2013-08-21 03:13:48 PM  

Manic Depressive Mouse: I submitted the Mirror link with a worse headline. :( I was hoping to get my first greenlight for my birthday. Oh well, there's always next year.


Cheer up Mousey and keep trying :)
 
2013-08-21 03:15:27 PM  
Tastes like chicken.
 
2013-08-21 03:18:49 PM  
www.whiteswanbarbeque.com

They can call it chicken, but they're not fooling anyone.
 
2013-08-21 03:20:58 PM  

Thisbymaster: If your going to kill a bird at least dress it


www.gooseclothes.net with clicky goodness.
 
2013-08-21 03:23:12 PM  
i.chzbgr.com
 
2013-08-21 03:27:26 PM  
So, this article calls the killing and eating this particular bird "gruesome"; "absolutely disgusting"; "absolutely disgraceful"; "disgusting" (again); "selfish and wrong"; someone was "appalled"; it was "absolutely shocking"; and finally "quite a shock". FARK: The last sentence of the article says that "Cygnets [young swans] were highly prized for their gourmet qualities and were often served at banquets." So, real issue is that the poachers should have eaten a gourmet baby swan, not this disgusting adult.

In memory of this swan, I'm going to eat fried chicken tonight. I think I've read that KFC uses only birds that have barely reached maturity, not disgusting adult chickens.
 
2013-08-21 03:42:28 PM  
Fark the Queen and fark her swans, which I am sure she worked very hard for.
 
2013-08-21 03:48:34 PM  

brantgoose: In falconry, for another example, Emperors had the right to use eagles, Kings had the exclusive right to peregrine falcons (as Middle Eastern royalty still do, seeing as they are very expensive birds to buy), and right on down to sparrow hawks, which could be used by upper class women, presumably to hunt very small birds indeed as they get their name from their usual prey.



Do you have a cite for that?  That sounds like pseudo-historical BS.
There usually aren't any agreements that govern all European emperors and kings.  That's why we call them "sovereigns."
 
2013-08-21 03:49:40 PM  
 
2013-08-21 03:50:53 PM  

illannoyin: My first suspicions would be those those incorrigible lads from Porter house. But, they are allowed two swans for their yearly banquet so it couldn't have been them.
/That's right, I'm an American and I know that
//You just had your preconceptions invalidated


What the fark are you talking about?
 
2013-08-21 04:01:33 PM  

jaksmata: So, this article calls the killing and eating this particular bird "gruesome"; "absolutely disgusting"; "absolutely disgraceful"; "disgusting" (again); "selfish and wrong"; someone was "appalled"; it was "absolutely shocking"; and finally "quite a shock". FARK: The last sentence of the article says that "Cygnets [young swans] were highly prized for their gourmet qualities and were often served at banquets." So, real issue is that the poachers should have eaten a gourmet baby swan, not this disgusting adult.

In memory of this swan, I'm going to eat fried chicken tonight. I think I've read that KFC uses only birds that have barely reached maturity, not disgusting adult chickens.


The problem with KFC is the Fried Chicken goes through you like shiat through a goose. Swan make nice soft toilet paper coincidentally.
 
2013-08-21 04:02:27 PM  

Shostie: I mean, at least CLEAN the thing first, you savages.


I assume that was the only reason for the sick tag.  swans probably taste awesome.  especially if cooked whole over a fire.  (i mean, geese are awesome, how could a swan not be as awesome?... wait, is a swan a goose?)

otherwise, reminds me of the robin hood movie with the kid being chased by soldiers for poaching a deer.
 
2013-08-21 04:03:34 PM  

Whiskey Dickens: What the fark are you talking about?


Various institutions, colleges and lords of obscure Scottish islands have been granted the right to serve a certain number of swans each year at a banquet.
 
2013-08-21 04:08:56 PM  
No Pecking duck from Christmas story.
 
2013-08-21 04:13:18 PM  

Copper Spork: Whiskey Dickens: What the fark are you talking about?

Various institutions, colleges and lords of obscure Scottish islands have been granted the right to serve a certain number of swans each year at a banquet.


I understand the process, I'm wondering what the Porter house is.  Google returns nothing.
 
2013-08-21 04:13:27 PM  

jaksmata: So, this article calls the killing and eating this particular bird "gruesome"; "absolutely disgusting"; "absolutely disgraceful"; "disgusting" (again); "selfish and wrong"; someone was "appalled"; it was "absolutely shocking"; and finally "quite a shock". FARK: The last sentence of the article says that "Cygnets [young swans] were highly prized for their gourmet qualities and were often served at banquets." So, real issue is that the poachers should have eaten a gourmet baby swan, not this disgusting adult.



I believe that the angst is directed at the manner in which the swan was prepared. A true epicure would have gutted and plucked the bird before hanging it to age for a few days. When roasting, proper basting of the skin is critical to the overall success of the meal. As there was no mention whatsoever regarding side dishes (and not so much as a by your by regarding a soup course) one must conclude that the stereotype of English cooking would not apply to the person being interviewed in TFA.
 
2013-08-21 04:18:16 PM  

Whiskey Dickens: brantgoose: In falconry, for another example, Emperors had the right to use eagles, Kings had the exclusive right to peregrine falcons (as Middle Eastern royalty still do, seeing as they are very expensive birds to buy), and right on down to sparrow hawks, which could be used by upper class women, presumably to hunt very small birds indeed as they get their name from their usual prey.


Do you have a cite for that?  That sounds like pseudo-historical BS.


The Boke of Seynt Albans (1486) has a list of hunting birds appropriate to each rank of English society.

Load of bunk, apparently.

See also: A Kestrel for a Knave.
 
2013-08-21 04:24:18 PM  
i.imgur.com

The best guess is Harold Saxon.
 
2013-08-21 04:24:20 PM  

naughtyrev: FTFA: "Park wardens made the gruesome discovery in Windsor, Berkshire, at 3pm on Sunday, and called Swan Lifeline, which cares for sick or injured birds along the Thames."

The wardens found it cooked with its meat stripped off - what were the rescue folks going to do?


One of these is relevant:

Helivets

or

Animal Clinic
 
2013-08-21 04:53:09 PM  
What kind of beer goes best with roasted swan? Maybe a British room-temperature lager?
 
2013-08-21 05:17:23 PM  
The worst thing is that Swans mate for life. I don't know how amenable they are to finding a new mate. So, this person removed half of a breeding pair. Very sad.
 
2013-08-21 05:18:43 PM  

Whiskey Dickens: Copper Spork: Whiskey Dickens: What the fark are you talking about?

Various institutions, colleges and lords of obscure Scottish islands have been granted the right to serve a certain number of swans each year at a banquet.

I understand the process, I'm wondering what the Porter house is.  Google returns nothing.


Might be a book called Porterhouse Blue, by Tom Sharpe - about an English University (Oxford I think) - that mentions eating swans. It's about 20 years since I read it so it's all a bit vague.

As for the swans, my money is on Polish people- they've done it before in either the UK or Ireland.
 
2013-08-21 05:21:46 PM  

tigerose: The worst thing is that Swans mate for life. I don't know how amenable they are to finding a new mate. So, this person removed half of a breeding pair. Very sad.


"Usually" mate for life. Also, it's not as if the swan's living partner will necessarily be lonely for the rest of its life; swans are one of the few species that can divert to homosexuality in times of loneliness.
 
2013-08-21 05:24:41 PM  

DubtodaIll: I have', answered Gargantua, 'by a long and curious experience found out a means to wipe my bum. The most lordly, the most excellent, the most convenient that was ever seen. I have wiped my tail with a hen, with a cock, with a pullet, with a calf's skin, with a hare, with a pigeon, with a cormorant, with an attorney's bag, with a Montero, with a falconer's lure. But to conclude, I say and maintain that of all the torcheculs, arsewisps, bumfodders, tail-napkins, bunghole cleansers, and wipe-breeches, there is none in the world comparable to the neck of a goose, that is well downed, if you hold her head betwixt your legs. And believe me therein upon mine honour, for you will thereby feel in your nockhole a most wonderful pleasure, both in regard of the softness of the said down and of the temporate heat of the goose, which is easily communicated to the bum-gut and the rest of the inwards, in so far as to come even to the regions of the heart and brains.


Ok, you owe me a new keyboard for posting that.
 
2013-08-21 07:11:54 PM  
Has anyone determined what the Queen was served that day?
 
2013-08-21 10:43:48 PM  

Whiskey Dickens: I'm wondering what the Porter house is.  Google returns nothing.


It's where Mr. Porter lives, but that's not important now.
 
2013-08-22 01:03:15 AM  
Sounds like it was a hungry homeless person.  The wrinkled prune will never miss it.
 
2013-08-22 03:12:34 AM  

boinkingbill: Sounds like it was a hungry homeless person.  The wrinkled prune will never miss it.


Wait, they were serving prunes, too?
 
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