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(Boing Boing)   American Quarter Horse Association ordered to allow clones. Kentucky Derby braces for the first nine way tie in history   (boingboing.net) divider line 50
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1378 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Aug 2013 at 9:03 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-08-21 09:06:30 AM  
So was there also an order to allow said cloned Quarter Horses to enter and run in a race for Thoroughbreds?
 
2013-08-21 09:06:42 AM  
We're running quarter horses against thoroughbreds now? That's... that's not a good idea.
 
2013-08-21 09:06:56 AM  
To be fair, they'd need to clone nine jockeys, too. This is what a cloned jockey may look like.

www.gardenstatueoutlet.com
 
2013-08-21 09:09:52 AM  
Execute Derby 66
 
2013-08-21 09:10:44 AM  

Gonz: We're running quarter horses against thoroughbreds now? That's... that's not a good idea.


Well you can but why would you want to?
 
2013-08-21 09:15:43 AM  

BitwiseShift: To be fair, they'd need to clone nine jockeys, too. This is what a cloned jockey may look like.

[www.gardenstatueoutlet.com image 214x350]


[thats_racist.gif]
 
2013-08-21 09:16:46 AM  

LionHound: So was there also an order to allow said cloned Quarter Horses to enter and run in a race for Thoroughbreds?


Artificial insemination would be a step into the 20th century, though.
 
2013-08-21 09:19:50 AM  
Horses turning left is better than cars turning left, right?
 
2013-08-21 09:21:54 AM  

StoPPeRmobile: Horses turning left is better than cars turning left, right?


The races are shorter, more often and you can bet on them. Yes, the horses are better.
 
2013-08-21 09:23:37 AM  
They want to clone Seabiscuit I think.
 
2013-08-21 09:30:38 AM  

RussianPooper: StoPPeRmobile: Horses turning left is better than cars turning left, right?

The races are shorter, more often and you can bet on them. Yes, the horses are better.


And there's a chance the horses could die.
 
2013-08-21 09:35:23 AM  
Bring in the Clones. Quarter Horse stallions are said to have tears as big as horses turds running down their cheeks because their future as studs may be in jeopardy.
 
2013-08-21 09:37:51 AM  
t2.gstatic.com
 
2013-08-21 09:38:31 AM  

Tom_Slick: RussianPooper: StoPPeRmobile: Horses turning left is better than cars turning left, right?

The races are shorter, more often and you can bet on them. Yes, the horses are better.

And there's a chance the horses could die.


Well, there's a chance drivers could die, too, right?

And unlike auto racing, people don't watch horse racing specifically to see horses crash.

/gambling is awesome
//if I could throw some exacta boxes on car races it'd be alot more interesting to watch
 
2013-08-21 09:39:15 AM  
 
2013-08-21 09:40:04 AM  

StoPPeRmobile: Horses turning left is better than cars turning left, right?


Kentucky Derby : 2 turns
Bristol 500: 2000 turns
 
2013-08-21 09:44:10 AM  
I was going to mention quarter horses do not run in horse racing, it is thoroughbreds. Quarter horses are more for shorter distances like equestrian and rodeo.
 
2013-08-21 09:46:23 AM  

kdawg7736: I was going to mention quarter horses do not run in horse racing, it is thoroughbreds. Quarter horses are more for shorter distances like equestrian and rodeo.


or Quarter Horse racing.
 
2013-08-21 09:47:04 AM  
And so it begins.  Yo mama soon to be looking for a new job.
 
2013-08-21 09:49:18 AM  
It's a fact. Cloned quarter horses are called "slugs".
 
2013-08-21 09:52:00 AM  
Time for corporate plundering.
 
2013-08-21 10:03:41 AM  
Low-Hanging Fruit:

There ought to be clones...
Send in the clones...
Don't bother. They're here.
 
2013-08-21 10:11:46 AM  

12349876: StoPPeRmobile: Horses turning left is better than cars turning left, right?

Kentucky Derby : 2 turns
Bristol 500: 2000 turns


Just wondering why you count the number of turns on two nearly identically shaped race tracks differently?
 
2013-08-21 10:11:57 AM  

tricycleracer: LionHound: So was there also an order to allow said cloned Quarter Horses to enter and run in a race for Thoroughbreds?

Artificial insemination would be a step into the 20th century, though.


Not as far as thoroughbred horse racing is concerned. It would destroy racing - every horse running would the the offspring of a champion. It would also have massive financial implications, to get a good thoroughbred, one that's won classics, to cover your mare can cost between €250,000 - €500,000 a shag, if you introduce artificial insemination you wipe out the breeding industry. None of the associations that govern horse racing outside the USA would ever allow it, and no American-bred horse would ever be allowed race outside the USA.
 
2013-08-21 10:14:40 AM  
...also the stable lads would lose their €20 tip for pulling the willy out of the mare after the stallion has done his job.
 
2013-08-21 10:16:11 AM  

henryhill: kdawg7736: I was going to mention quarter horses do not run in horse racing, it is thoroughbreds. Quarter horses are more for shorter distances like equestrian and rodeo.

or Quarter Horse racing.


A Quarter Horse can be 7/8 Thoroughbred and still be registered as a Quarter Horse.
/worked at a Thoroughbred farm in the 80's.
//Free Up got as many Quarter Horse mares as he did Thoroughbred.
 
2013-08-21 10:23:56 AM  
Dammit!  They're paving the way to get rid of the greatest phrase in sports - Retired To Stud.
 
2013-08-21 10:25:05 AM  

NightOwl2255: 12349876: StoPPeRmobile: Horses turning left is better than cars turning left, right?

Kentucky Derby : 2 turns
Bristol 500: 2000 turns

Just wondering why you count the number of turns on two nearly identically shaped race tracks differently?



He thought the "500" in the Bristol 500 was the length, not the number of laps.
 
2013-08-21 10:29:20 AM  

maynerdkitty: henryhill: kdawg7736: I was going to mention quarter horses do not run in horse racing, it is thoroughbreds. Quarter horses are more for shorter distances like equestrian and rodeo.

or Quarter Horse racing.

A Quarter Horse can be 7/8 Thoroughbred and still be registered as a Quarter Horse.
/worked at a Thoroughbred farm in the 80's.
//Free Up got as many Quarter Horse mares as he did Thoroughbred.



A cross between a Quarterhorse and Thoroughbred can be registered in the AQHA appendix stud book, and if that horse meets certain performance criteria, like winning a certain amount of horse shows or races, then it can earn its way to full registration.

The AQHA has no problem with allowing Thoroughbred blood into Quarter Horse breeding lines, provided that the breed adds to the aesthetic or performance value.

This is probably why they didn't want to register clone horses, since your basically allowing the same horse to be registered twice, which could potentially homogenize bloodlines.
 
2013-08-21 10:39:01 AM  

Cormee: ...also the stable lads would lose their €20 tip for pulling the willy out of the mare after the stallion has done his job.


What the what what?
 
2013-08-21 10:53:47 AM  

Do the needful: Cormee: ...also the stable lads would lose their €20 tip for pulling the willy out of the mare after the stallion has done his job.

What the what what?


You read it right.

Actually they guide it in, sorry.
 
2013-08-21 10:53:49 AM  

NightOwl2255: 12349876: StoPPeRmobile: Horses turning left is better than cars turning left, right?

Kentucky Derby : 2 turns
Bristol 500: 2000 turns

Just wondering why you count the number of turns on two nearly identically shaped race tracks differently?


Okay then 1000 if you like.  I was using Wikipedia that said Bristol has 4 turns.
 
2013-08-21 10:57:19 AM  

kdawg7736: I was going to mention quarter horses do not run in horse racing, it is thoroughbreds. Quarter horses are more for shorter distances like equestrian and rodeo.


Plenty of quarter horses race.  The WHOLE FARKING REASON they're called QUARTER horses is that they're bred to run a QUARTER mile, though admittedly that's a lot shorter than races like the Kentucky Derby.
 
2013-08-21 10:59:48 AM  

12349876: NightOwl2255: 12349876: StoPPeRmobile: Horses turning left is better than cars turning left, right?

Kentucky Derby : 2 turns
Bristol 500: 2000 turns

Just wondering why you count the number of turns on two nearly identically shaped race tracks differently?

Okay then 1000 if you like.  I was using Wikipedia that said Bristol has 4 turns.


The Kentucky Derby is a race.  Churchill Downs is a racetrack.

The Food City 500 is a race.  Bristol Motor Speedway is a racetrack.

The Kentucky Derby is one lap race with 2 turns.  The Food City 500 is a 500 lap race with 2000 turns.
 
2013-08-21 11:08:16 AM  
Millionaires and their investpets.  Now I'm all ears!
 
2013-08-21 11:22:33 AM  
Wake me up when the Jockey Club even entertains the notion.  Until then, you won't be seeing anything called a "thoroughbred" that's been cloned.
 
2013-08-21 11:24:21 AM  
Quarter Horses that are bred via artificial insemination have been allowed for a long time.. Throughbreds cant compete in races unless they are bred via live cover.
 
2013-08-21 11:27:32 AM  

tricycleracer: 12349876: NightOwl2255: 12349876: StoPPeRmobile: Horses turning left is better than cars turning left, right?

Kentucky Derby : 2 turns
Bristol 500: 2000 turns

Just wondering why you count the number of turns on two nearly identically shaped race tracks differently?

Okay then 1000 if you like.  I was using Wikipedia that said Bristol has 4 turns.

The Kentucky Derby is a race.  Churchill Downs is a racetrack.

The Food City 500 is a race.  Bristol Motor Speedway is a racetrack.

The Kentucky Derby is one lap race with 2 turns.  The Food City 500 is a 500 lap race with 2000 turns.


I'm not a car racing fan but aren't the tracks kind of modified ovals with straightaways? If there are four turns per lap in bristol, there are four turns at Churchill.

Unless Bristol is more of a rounded rectangle than an oval, and has 4 straightaways. In which case maybe you are right.
 
2013-08-21 12:01:56 PM  

Debeo Summa Credo: tricycleracer: 12349876: NightOwl2255: 12349876: StoPPeRmobile: Horses turning left is better than cars turning left, right?

Kentucky Derby : 2 turns
Bristol 500: 2000 turns

Just wondering why you count the number of turns on two nearly identically shaped race tracks differently?

Okay then 1000 if you like.  I was using Wikipedia that said Bristol has 4 turns.

The Kentucky Derby is a race.  Churchill Downs is a racetrack.

The Food City 500 is a race.  Bristol Motor Speedway is a racetrack.

The Kentucky Derby is one lap race with 2 turns.  The Food City 500 is a 500 lap race with 2000 turns.

I'm not a car racing fan but aren't the tracks kind of modified ovals with straightaways? If there are four turns per lap in bristol, there are four turns at Churchill.

Unless Bristol is more of a rounded rectangle than an oval, and has 4 straightaways. In which case maybe you are right.


NASCAR says Bristol has 4 turns.  I know what you mean, but that's their definition.

Churchill:
www1.drf.com

Bristol:
media.ticketmaster.com
 
2013-08-21 12:07:59 PM  
Begun the Clone Horse has.
 
2013-08-21 12:09:53 PM  
"I saw it, in my head, as the mask of the whiskey gentry--a pretentious mix of booze, failed dreams and a terminal identity crisis; the inevitable result of too much inbreeding in a closed and ignorant culture. One of the key genetic rules in breeding dogs, horses or any other kind of thoroughbred is that close inbreeding tends to magnify the weak points in a bloodline as well as the strong points. In horse breeding, for instance, there is a definite risk in breeding two fast horses who are both a little crazy. The offspring will likely be very fast and also very crazy. So the trick in breeding thoroughbreds is to retain the good traits and filter out the bad. But the breeding of humans is not so wisely supervised, particularly in a narrow Southern society where the closest kind of inbreeding is not only stylish and acceptable, but far more convenient--to the parents--than setting their offspring free to find their own mates, for their own reasons and in their own ways..."
Hunter S. Thompson, the Kentucky Derby is Decadent and Depraved
 
2013-08-21 12:25:15 PM  

LikeALeafOnTheWind: Throughbreds cant compete in races unless they are bred via live cover.


Thoroughbreds cant even be registered unless they are conceived via live cover.
 
2013-08-21 01:04:21 PM  

66puppies: LikeALeafOnTheWind: Throughbreds cant compete in races unless they are bred via live cover.

Thoroughbreds cant even be registered unless they are conceived via live cover.


The things we do to accommodate people who like watching horses have sex.
 
2013-08-21 01:57:17 PM  
images.wikia.com
 
2013-08-21 02:04:02 PM  
Maybe it will eradicate HERDA within the breed.
 
2013-08-21 02:28:25 PM  

tricycleracer: 66puppies: LikeALeafOnTheWind: Throughbreds cant compete in races unless they are bred via live cover.

Thoroughbreds cant even be registered unless they are conceived via live cover.

The things we do to accommodate people who like watching horses have sex.


Hey, it's the sport of kings. God only picks rulers who are into horse sex. It's His will.
 
2013-08-21 05:53:49 PM  
FTFA:  Some quarter horse owners and breeders have complained that cloned animals have an unfair advantage because they are selected according to superior genetic characteristics.

No shiat, Sherlock. What else would breeders be selecting for?
 
2013-08-21 08:15:50 PM  

flynn80: Begun the Clone Horse has.


Can we retcon Seabiscuit?
 
2013-08-21 08:39:52 PM  

Nothing To See Here: [images.wikia.com image 250x271]


Always thought this was funny, I was going to post it with music:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dyMXYE_50Ts
 
2013-08-21 10:11:12 PM  
If you don't know that talking about quarterhorses and throughbreds is like talking about apples and papayas, you have proven your lack of knowledge.
 
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