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(Plymouth Herald)   Pony found hacked to death with body parts missing in 'ring of fire' after full moon. Police conclusion? Natural causes   (plymouthherald.co.uk ) divider line
    More: Weird, Cornwall County Constabulary, natural causes  
•       •       •

4926 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Aug 2013 at 9:32 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



86 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2013-08-21 06:48:03 AM  
Initial media reports linked the death of the pony to satanic cults and ritualistic killing.

"The police have sought the advice of experts and have come to the view that the death of this pony was through natural causes.

"All the injuries can be attributed to those caused by other wild animals.
 
2013-08-21 07:29:53 AM  
Don't let this ring of fire crap fool you, when Johnny Noses wants to send a message--he'll make sure you get it.

/I think I found the head.
//And maybe a hoof.  I really can't be sure.
 
2013-08-21 07:53:23 AM  
assets.nydailynews.com
 
2013-08-21 07:54:16 AM  
Pony thread?
 
2013-08-21 08:10:09 AM  

Twitch Boy: Pony thread?


Sure!

fc01.deviantart.net
 
2013-08-21 08:14:41 AM  
A pony is a burning thing, and it makes a fiery ring.
 
2013-08-21 09:09:40 AM  
Worst case of Pony suicide ever.
 
2013-08-21 09:23:35 AM  
It was Gremlins.
 
2013-08-21 09:24:05 AM  
Not Satanists... Brony haters.
 
2013-08-21 09:34:09 AM  
In before the superfuzz references.
 
2013-08-21 09:34:39 AM  
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com
 
2013-08-21 09:35:56 AM  
is it the 80s again? story needs some quicksand, some killer bees, tight rolled jeans, shoulder pads, D&D reference and a shiatton of hairspray.
 
2013-08-21 09:35:58 AM  
Quick, get Linda Molton Howe on the line

/obscure?
 
2013-08-21 09:41:36 AM  
Linda Molton Who?
 
2013-08-21 09:41:54 AM  
So, the Wyatts got a hold of Queen Chrysalis and 'inducted' her into the family?


/paging the NPO
 
2013-08-21 09:42:06 AM  
Oh good, time to stir up some anti-pagan sentiment. That's always good for a few page clicks.
 
2013-08-21 09:42:10 AM  
I've heard the remake of My Little Pony was more geared towards adults, but this is a bit too much.
 
2013-08-21 09:46:17 AM  
This just in, Ted Cruz has just renouced his Cornwall citizenship.

dancingczars.files.wordpress.com www.celticcountries.com
 
2013-08-21 09:46:53 AM  
Rot in Pieces
 
2013-08-21 09:47:09 AM  

Sudo_Make_Me_A_Sandwich: Oh good, time to stir up some anti-pagan sentiment. That's always good for a few page clicks.


typical Gypsy-controlled media pushing their anti-satanist hate-speech

/hyphen-hyphens
 
2013-08-21 09:49:39 AM  
Free the West Memphis Three!!!!


/oh wait, they already did...
 
2013-08-21 09:53:33 AM  
i1.ytimg.com
 
2013-08-21 09:54:36 AM  
She said: "I suspect its witches or devil worshippers

Which is ridiculous 'cause witches they were persecuted Wicca good and love the earth and woman power and I'll be over there.
 
2013-08-21 09:55:37 AM  
www.ancient-egypt.org
 
2013-08-21 09:56:09 AM  
images3.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-08-21 09:56:12 AM  

Son of Thunder: She said: "I suspect its witches or devil worshippers

Which is ridiculous 'cause witches they were persecuted Wicca good and love the earth and woman power and I'll be over there.


I've got a theory! It may be bunnies!
 
2013-08-21 09:57:30 AM  

Son of Thunder: She said: "I suspect its witches or devil worshippers

Which is ridiculous 'cause witches they were persecuted Wicca good and love the earth and woman power and I'll be over there.


Witch is dumb because she should have just said, satanists.

It's more Godly.
 
2013-08-21 09:58:09 AM  
Of course it was natural causes, it's only natural it'd die after all the blood it loss.
 
2013-08-21 10:00:37 AM  
Ponies turn themselves inside out all the time...

www.blogcdn.com

/Hot like an inside-out cow.
 
2013-08-21 10:01:00 AM  

Aar1012: I've got a theory! It may be bunnies!


You, sir, win the thread.
 
2013-08-21 10:04:04 AM  
Dinobot:

I dunno... could the answer be maybe...
i44.tinypic.com
 
2013-08-21 10:06:37 AM  
It happens sometimes. People just explode. Natural causes.
 
2013-08-21 10:07:34 AM  
So where are the pictures of this "ring of fire"?

Oh wait, there aren't any because there wasn't any.

/I'll bet the illuminati are behind this.
 
2013-08-21 10:08:23 AM  
Is it just me or have I been reading a lot of things about horses lately on here?
 
2013-08-21 10:09:45 AM  

dbrunker: Dinobot:

I dunno... could the answer be maybe...
[i44.tinypic.com image 500x424]


dashie.mylittlefacewhen.com
 
2013-08-21 10:10:14 AM  
Natural causes?

Couldn't John Gacey have used that defense?

i.imgur.com
 
2013-08-21 10:11:25 AM  

Grand_Moff_Joseph: So, the Wyatts got a hold of Queen Chrysalis and 'inducted' her into the family?


/paging the NPO


Was the pony named "Shining Wizard"

/CaptPlaty is on my list for the next "pony hit"
 
2013-08-21 10:15:57 AM  
I knew a guy whose pet rabbit passed away over the weekend while he was out of town.  Now, I assumed it passed from being kept outside without a proper nest box over a cold January weekend.

Boy, did he set me straight.

It. Was. SATANISTS!  His evidence?  "The rabbit's eyes...they were gone," he said to me like Dr. Drake Ramoray breaking the news to a terminal patient.

Yes.  A coven of local devil worshipers (apparently plentiful in our small Oregon town) snuck onto his property, bloodlessly slaughtered the rabbit inside it's cage, cut out its eyes (again, bloodlessly) and then left on their Satanic business leaving the rest of his property undisturbed.

And he explained this with such oddly calm conviction.  Like...there could not possibly be any other explanation.  Satanists ate his bunny's eyes.  And the calm, matter-of-fact way he said it was so off putting.  As if murderous Satanists are are a normal occurrence in his life but nothing to get too worked up about.

And when I suggested that maybe the eyes, being a soft jelly-y organ, would be the first to shrivel or be eaten by parasites and only appeared to be "gone" ugh, he gave me a look of such pity as he slowly shook his head at my ignorance.

/Cool story, sis.
 
2013-08-21 10:19:30 AM  

Aar1012: Son of Thunder: She said: "I suspect its witches or devil worshippers

Which is ridiculous 'cause witches they were persecuted Wicca good and love the earth and woman power and I'll be over there.

I've got a theory! It may be bunnies!


and what's with all the carrots, what do they need all that eyesight anyway?
 
2013-08-21 10:22:33 AM  
General Woundwort says "horses aren't dangerous!"
 
2013-08-21 10:22:56 AM  
i44.tinypic.com

"These aren't the devil worshipers you're looking for."
"These aren't the devil worshipers we're looking for."

"They died of natural causes."
"They died of natural causes."

"Move along."
"Move along...move along"
 
2013-08-21 10:23:00 AM  

Omnis_evil_twin: /Cool story, sis.


That's not cool. That's disturbing and sad. Cool would have been if the rabbit had bitten the guy in the nads and ran away to live happily ever after.
 
2013-08-21 10:27:31 AM  
www.pawneeindiana.com
 
2013-08-21 10:29:33 AM  

Omnis_evil_twin: I knew a guy whose pet rabbit passed away over the weekend while he was out of town.  Now, I assumed it passed from being kept outside without a proper nest box over a cold January weekend.

Boy, did he set me straight.

It. Was. SATANISTS!  His evidence?  "The rabbit's eyes...they were gone," he said to me like Dr. Drake Ramoray breaking the news to a terminal patient.

Yes.  A coven of local devil worshipers (apparently plentiful in our small Oregon town) snuck onto his property, bloodlessly slaughtered the rabbit inside it's cage, cut out its eyes (again, bloodlessly) and then left on their Satanic business leaving the rest of his property undisturbed.

And he explained this with such oddly calm conviction.  Like...there could not possibly be any other explanation.  Satanists ate his bunny's eyes.  And the calm, matter-of-fact way he said it was so off putting.  As if murderous Satanists are are a normal occurrence in his life but nothing to get too worked up about.

And when I suggested that maybe the eyes, being a soft jelly-y organ, would be the first to shrivel or be eaten by parasites and only appeared to be "gone" ugh, he gave me a look of such pity as he slowly shook his head at my ignorance.

/Cool story, sis.


When i was kid my step-father took my sister's rabbit cage out of the house and put it outside next to an aluminum shed on a very hot day during a Texas summer. The reflected heat and no shade killed the rabbit in about 2hrs. He wasn't the sharpest tac in the drawer.
 
2013-08-21 10:29:44 AM  
Ponies suffer horrible death.
Evidence points to dismemberment and fire.
Smaug wanted for questioning.
 
2013-08-21 10:34:22 AM  
i1182.photobucket.com
 
2013-08-21 10:36:13 AM  

BattleFrenchie28: Of course it was natural causes, it's only natural it'd die after all the blood it loss.


This.  The alternative is supernatural causes.  I prefer natural causes every time!
 
2013-08-21 10:36:40 AM  

StoPPeRmobile: Son of Thunder: She said: "I suspect its witches or devil worshippers

Which is ridiculous 'cause witches they were persecuted Wicca good and love the earth and woman power and I'll be over there.

Witch is dumb because she should have just said, satanists.

It's more Godly.


Somebody here ain't never seen Once More With Feeling...
 
2013-08-21 10:37:23 AM  
That's a horse in the picture. Not a pony.
 
2013-08-21 10:39:35 AM  
That's some mighty fine police work there, Constable Louis.
 
2013-08-21 10:44:24 AM  

Omnis_evil_twin: I knew a guy whose pet rabbit passed away over the weekend while he was out of town.  Now, I assumed it passed from being kept outside without a proper nest box over a cold January weekend.

Boy, did he set me straight.

It. Was. SATANISTS!  His evidence?  "The rabbit's eyes...they were gone," he said to me like Dr. Drake Ramoray breaking the news to a terminal patient.

Yes.  A coven of local devil worshipers (apparently plentiful in our small Oregon town) snuck onto his property, bloodlessly slaughtered the rabbit inside it's cage, cut out its eyes (again, bloodlessly) and then left on their Satanic business leaving the rest of his property undisturbed.

And he explained this with such oddly calm conviction.  Like...there could not possibly be any other explanation.  Satanists ate his bunny's eyes.  And the calm, matter-of-fact way he said it was so off putting.  As if murderous Satanists are are a normal occurrence in his life but nothing to get too worked up about.

And when I suggested that maybe the eyes, being a soft jelly-y organ, would be the first to shrivel or be eaten by parasites and only appeared to be "gone" ugh, he gave me a look of such pity as he slowly shook his head at my ignorance.

/Cool story, sis.


Aracnix: StoPPeRmobile: Son of Thunder: She said: "I suspect its witches or devil worshippers

Which is ridiculous 'cause witches they were persecuted Wicca good and love the earth and woman power and I'll be over there.

Witch is dumb because she should have just said, satanists.

It's more Godly.

Somebody here ain't never seen Once More With Feeling...




Mmmm Buffy.
 
2013-08-21 10:46:37 AM  

stuhayes2010: That's a horse in the picture. Not a pony.


colt...


/If the popo were just trying to make something up to keep the public calm, they should have claimed that the horse died of natural causes before satanist hacked it up...

//no, never mind...
 
2013-08-21 10:47:23 AM  

morgen_benner: Ponies turn themselves inside out all the time...

And then they explode!
 
2013-08-21 10:48:08 AM  
www.ufocasebook.com

/ Hate beating a dead horse... but oblig....
 
2013-08-21 10:48:43 AM  
Nothing to see here.

This is just the other three quarters of the horse from the other thread.
 
2013-08-21 10:49:12 AM  
Why is animal sacrifice always Satan's fault? The bible is full of information about how to sacrifice animals to god.

Leviticus 4:35, 5:10, 16:15. Hebrews 9:22. Genesis 8:20.
 
2013-08-21 10:50:23 AM  

Twitch Boy: Pony thread?


Nay.
 
2013-08-21 10:51:45 AM  

Farking Canuck: And then they explode asplode!


FTFM
 
2013-08-21 10:54:00 AM  
If you go down to the woods today
You're sure of a big surprise
If you go down to the woods today
You better go in disguise

For every 'were that ever there was
Will gather there for certain because
Today's the day the Chupcabra's have their picnic

also:
Look at the picture of the animal in TFA

Compare it to the White Horse of Uffington

Coincidence?
 
2013-08-21 10:58:04 AM  
Glue: Made of 50% Friendship, and 50% Magic.
 
2013-08-21 10:59:45 AM  

I_Am_Weasel: A pony is a burning thing, and it makes a fiery ring.


given that I run an event whose highlight is the ritualistic burning of the effigy of a Pony, this story excited me, until I realized that the vic in this case was an actual, live, pony...

then I had a sad
 
2013-08-21 11:04:02 AM  

stuhayes2010: That's a horse in the picture. Not a pony.


This. More precisely it's a colt.
 
2013-08-21 11:20:41 AM  

CygnusDarius: Glue: Made of 50% Friendship, and 50% Magic.


youtomb.mit.edu
 
2013-08-21 11:25:09 AM  
www.glittersnipe.com
 
2013-08-21 11:49:59 AM  

someonelse: Omnis_evil_twin: /Cool story, sis.

That's not cool. That's disturbing and sad. Cool would have been if the rabbit had bitten the guy in the nads and ran away to live happily ever after.


That would be one fantastic rabbit!

24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-08-21 12:00:56 PM  
Ok, I'm not a veterinarian so someone will have to clue me in.  The missing body parts seem like the sort of thing that would go missing due to predators and scavengers but wouldn't the belly be an easy tell for if it were nature at work?  I would guess that in a ritual sacrifice a knife would be used so a fairly clean incision line would be present in the abdomen if a ritual sacrifice occurred.  Shouldn't this be easily settled by looking for bite marks vs cutting marks?
 
2013-08-21 12:02:45 PM  

BattleFrenchie28: Of course it was natural causes, it's only natural it'd die after all the blood it loss.


I know, right? What could possibly be more natural than to be dismembered by a pagan.  They worship nature, duh.
 
2013-08-21 12:08:16 PM  

Grand PBUH: someonelse: Omnis_evil_twin: /Cool story, sis.

That's not cool. That's disturbing and sad. Cool would have been if the rabbit had bitten the guy in the nads and ran away to live happily ever after.

That would be one fantastic rabbit!

[24.media.tumblr.com image 470x297]


Look at the bones!.
 
2013-08-21 12:13:47 PM  
cdn01.cdn.justjared.com
 
2013-08-21 12:19:35 PM  

sexorcisst: [cdn01.cdn.justjared.com image 798x1222]


/Wanted for questioning
//One-Horse Town and all
///Slashies
 
2013-08-21 12:53:19 PM  
Two minor points:

1. Pagans, by and large, do not do animal sacrifices.  Beating up your little brother will not impress your mom,
2.  Satanists are not Pagans.  They are Christians, albeit inverted Christians.  Satan is a Judeo-Christian concept.
 
2013-08-21 12:53:50 PM  

Aracnix: StoPPeRmobile: Son of Thunder: She said: "I suspect its witches or devil worshippers

Which is ridiculous 'cause witches they were persecuted Wicca good and love the earth and woman power and I'll be over there.



I laughed, I cried

\\ it was probably bunnies,
\\\ "Bunnies aren't just cute like everybody supposes. They got them hoppy legs and twitchy little noses. And what's with all the carrots? What do they need such good eyesight for anyway? Bunnies. Bunnies. It must be bunnies!"
 
2013-08-21 01:12:47 PM  

Dinobot: dbrunker: Dinobot:

I dunno... could the answer be maybe...
[i44.tinypic.com image 500x424]

[dashie.mylittlefacewhen.com image 157x100]


i.imgur.com
i.imgur.com
i.imgur.com
i.imgur.com
i.imgur.com
i.imgur.com



The events in the story could be natural causes, but just in case they weren't, Pinkie sees everything in every universe, and we trust her implicitly. She's watching. FOREVER.
 
2013-08-21 01:27:06 PM  

escherblacksmith: Aracnix: StoPPeRmobile: Son of Thunder: She said: "I suspect its witches or devil worshippers

Which is ridiculous 'cause witches they were persecuted Wicca good and love the earth and woman power and I'll be over there.


I laughed, I cried

\\ it was probably bunnies,
\\\ "Bunnies aren't just cute like everybody supposes. They got them hoppy legs and twitchy little noses. And what's with all the carrots? What do they need such good eyesight for anyway? Bunnies. Bunnies. It must be bunnies!"


I've always had mixed feelings about Xander's line there. On one hand, it's funny. On the other, witchcraft might have been a valid possibility to consider. If it was me, I'd have sung something like "Don't give me that look; are we pretending that the thing with Amy's mom never happened?".
 
2013-08-21 02:52:01 PM  

Son of Thunder: I've always had mixed feelings about Xander's line there. On one hand, it's funny. On the other, witchcraft might have been a valid possibility to consider. If it was me, I'd have sung something like "Don't give me that look; are we pretending that the thing with Amy's mom never happened?".


Yeah well he had two powerful witches staring daggers at him ... can't blame him for back-pedaling.

/not that I ever watched Buffy or anything.
 
2013-08-21 04:22:05 PM  

squirrelflavoredyogurt: Why is animal sacrifice always Satan's fault? The bible is full of information about how to sacrifice animals to god.

Leviticus 4:35, 5:10, 16:15. Hebrews 9:22. Genesis 8:20.


Yeah, but the rules changed when Moses got the new employee handbook.  No sacrificing in the high places anymore.

Plus there are specific rules to the sacrifice.  The Satanists tend to be hacks when it comes down to it.

Plus after the birth records were burned at the sacking of Jerusalem, you just can't be sure who's a Levite anymore.  Just best to leave it alone.

Finally, no need to sacrifice anymore.  That's been taken care of.

/Thought you wrote Leviticus 15:16 and my eyes boggled.
 
2013-08-21 04:29:33 PM  

Omnis_evil_twin: I knew a guy whose pet rabbit passed away over the weekend while he was out of town.  Now, I assumed it passed from being kept outside without a proper nest box over a cold January weekend.

Boy, did he set me straight.

It. Was. SATANISTS!  His evidence?  "The rabbit's eyes...they were gone," he said to me like Dr. Drake Ramoray breaking the news to a terminal patient.

Yes.  A coven of local devil worshipers (apparently plentiful in our small Oregon town) snuck onto his property, bloodlessly slaughtered the rabbit inside it's cage, cut out its eyes (again, bloodlessly) and then left on their Satanic business leaving the rest of his property undisturbed.

And he explained this with such oddly calm conviction.  Like...there could not possibly be any other explanation.  Satanists ate his bunny's eyes.  And the calm, matter-of-fact way he said it was so off putting.  As if murderous Satanists are are a normal occurrence in his life but nothing to get too worked up about.

And when I suggested that maybe the eyes, being a soft jelly-y organ, would be the first to shrivel or be eaten by parasites and only appeared to be "gone" ugh, he gave me a look of such pity as he slowly shook his head at my ignorance.

/Cool story, sis.


Used to live an hour and a half south of Cleveland,  There were 3 covens in town and the clan was across the highway.  There was a bar called The Depot.  They had chicken wire protecting the stage and you could see where people had been shot at standing at the urinals.  One guy was mad they were closed and threw dynamite at the building.  Then there was the bar down the street that no one would go to because it was "unsafe."
 
2013-08-21 06:05:55 PM  
i.imgur.com

The bronies are giggling.  An inside joke is being referenced.

Best leave it at that.
 
2013-08-21 06:16:25 PM  

weltallica: [i.imgur.com image 376x640]

The bronies are giggling.  An inside joke is being referenced.

Best leave it at that.


oh, is it ever, lulz.  :D
 
2013-08-21 06:17:51 PM  

Hospitaller: Grand_Moff_Joseph: So, the Wyatts got a hold of Queen Chrysalis and 'inducted' her into the family?


/paging the NPO

Was the pony named "Shining Wizard"

/CaptPlaty is on my list for the next "pony hit"


No, indeed.  The Changeling Queen isn't fit to fasten Trixie's cape.  XD
 
2013-08-21 06:18:34 PM  

Twilight Farkle: Dinobot: dbrunker: Dinobot:

I dunno... could the answer be maybe...
[i44.tinypic.com image 500x424]

[dashie.mylittlefacewhen.com image 157x100]

[i.imgur.com image 400x225]
[i.imgur.com image 400x599]
[i.imgur.com image 400x314]
[i.imgur.com image 400x320]
[i.imgur.com image 400x225]
[i.imgur.com image 400x400]


The events in the story could be natural causes, but just in case they weren't, Pinkie sees everything in every universe, and we trust her implicitly. She's watching. FOREVER.


What you did there...even Vinyl Scratch sees it.  and she wears shades indoors.  :)
 
2013-08-21 06:52:49 PM  
data.whicdn.coml
 
2013-08-21 09:32:20 PM  

Gergesa: Ok, I'm not a veterinarian so someone will have to clue me in.  The missing body parts seem like the sort of thing that would go missing due to predators and scavengers but wouldn't the belly be an easy tell for if it were nature at work?  I would guess that in a ritual sacrifice a knife would be used so a fairly clean incision line would be present in the abdomen if a ritual sacrifice occurred.  Shouldn't this be easily settled by looking for bite marks vs cutting marks?


Don't be bringing logic into this!  There's wild speculation to be had!
 
2013-08-22 04:07:44 AM  
I'm retired so it doesn't have any impact on me but perhaps there should have been a "Graphic Content: NSFW" included in that title somewhere? I, for one, wasn't actually expecting to see a picture of the dead pony. It's not that, again, I care or anything but there are people (a few of them, I think) here on this site who have bosses and co-workers. They may have appreciated a warning. But, on the other hand, as I scrolled down (I didn't read 'em all) I didn't see anyone complaining which is kind of odd. I've seen people complain over content that was much less graphic.

Ah well, just tossing it out there for future reference. I can't be fired for looking at images like that. I can't even be fired for looking at porn. Retirement is a beautiful thing.
 
2013-08-22 08:49:21 AM  

UnspokenVoice: I'm retired so it doesn't have any impact on me but perhaps there should have been a "Graphic Content: NSFW" included in that title somewhere?


Fark caters to an American audience and, for Americans, violence and gore is just fine but boobies are the evil. So pony-gore is safe for work.
 
2013-08-22 12:30:46 PM  
Samwise is reported to be inconsolable.
 
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