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(People Magazine)   Simon Cowell proud to have baby on the way and friends say he'll be a good dad. Hail Satan   ( divider line
    More: Silly, David Walliams, dads, Little Britain, love child, Britain's Got Talent  
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279 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 21 Aug 2013 at 8:01 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

15 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
2013-08-21 08:07:55 AM  
That woman should give a gold digger seminar.
2013-08-21 08:08:00 AM  
I do feel sorry for that kid, and it ain't even born yet.
2013-08-21 08:18:23 AM  

Turfshoe: That woman should give a gold digger seminar.

Amne brotha. Not only was she able to trade up, she also landed her golden goose for the next 18 years.
2013-08-21 08:25:51 AM  
Well, at least they make baby-sized plain black tees.
2013-08-21 08:33:10 AM  
And the kid's name will be Damien.

Watch out for any glowing red eyes outside the windows.  And if the nanny throws herself off the mansion rooftop to show how much she loves him, that's not good either.  And don't go to any zoos with baboons.

Oh, and if David Warner shows up *anywhere*, kindly steer him away from the truck with all the plate glass stacked up in the back.
2013-08-21 09:17:35 AM  
I wonder if Simon Cowell is going to criticize the birth like he does on television.  "Your contractions were dreadful, absolutely dreadful.  When you were pushing, you looked like a beached whale convulsing for oxygen.  Are you sure that was supposed to be delivery?"
Or even the baby?  "The baby's cries reminded me of a howler monkey being pursued by a jaguar, and it's face is reminiscent of an English bulldog who ran into a pane glass window at full speed.  Are you sure that it's my child, because I do not look that ugly."
2013-08-21 09:18:36 AM
2013-08-21 09:48:06 AM  
Simon looks like he could breastfeed his kid himself, not saying he's got tits but he's got huge tits.
2013-08-21 10:53:03 AM  
His sister-in-law is going to be Sarah Silverman.  What a nightmare!

/ devil will now have his due!
2013-08-21 12:16:05 PM  
Better get the mountain lion
2013-08-21 12:23:07 PM  
This, ladies and gentlemen, is what we call a "spin."

No, Simon Cowell is almost certainly not "proud" that his extra-marital affair with is friend's wife landed him an 18 year dependent (I'm talking about the flooze, not exactly the kid though I'm sure he had some WTF rage moments after finding out about that).

This guy didn't choose to be a dad. He's just rolling with the punches and saying the only thing he can to save face with the media.

He'll probably love his kid though. They can be pretty lovable
2013-08-21 04:21:31 PM  
To be fair to Simon Cowell, 98% of the performances he criticized were, in fact, quite horrible.
2013-08-21 05:14:50 PM  

red5ish: To be fair to Simon Cowell, 98% of the performances he criticized were, in fact, quite horrible.

That's not what peeves me about the guy's how he claims that he started working at the record company in the mail room and worked his way up to where he is now, and that nepotism had nothing to do with it.

"Cowell took a few menial jobs...but did not get along well with colleagues and bosses, until his father, who was an executive at the recording giant EMI Music Publishing, managed to get him a job in the mail room."

So I'm sure his father - an executive at the recording giant EMI Music Publishing - never helped in any way.
2013-08-21 08:06:20 PM  
Simon Cowell has friends?
2013-08-22 04:38:49 AM  
Simon Cowell has friends?Probably not so much anymore, what with that nasty rumor that he farks their wives.
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