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(New Haven Register)   Store clerk critically injured attempting to retrieve stolen David Hasselhoff ads. NOT FLORIDA   (nhregister.com) divider line 24
    More: Scary, David Hasselhoff, Cumberland Farms  
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2058 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Aug 2013 at 8:52 AM (47 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



24 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-08-21 08:53:19 AM
Was he German because I heard Germans love the Hoff.
 
2013-08-21 08:54:09 AM
To make it worse, he wasn't even supposed to be there today.
 
2013-08-21 08:55:23 AM
Oh, the Hoffmanity.

/can someone PhotoShop a Hoff manager?
 
2013-08-21 08:57:14 AM
Did he try to jump in his car as the thief was making a getaway?
 
2013-08-21 08:57:25 AM
I'm hungry for a 'Hoffburger.
 
2013-08-21 08:58:09 AM
Better article including said advertisement.  http://www.cnbc.com/id/100975717
Iced Hoffee advert for Cumberland Farms ... I think being the assistant to the assistant crackwhore may carry more dignity Mr. Hasselhoff
 
2013-08-21 08:58:35 AM
I felt a great disturbance in the Fark... as if millions and million liters suddenly started a Google Image search for a certain Hasselhoff animated gif.
 
2013-08-21 08:59:46 AM

Harry Freakstorm: I felt a great disturbance in the Fark... as if millions and million liters suddenly started a Google Image search for a certain Hasselhoff animated gif.


Then realized it was to big to post.
 
2013-08-21 09:00:16 AM

Harry Freakstorm: I felt a great disturbance in the Fark... as if millions and million liters suddenly started a Google Image search for a certain Hasselhoff animated gif.


hahahaha nnnnyeeeesss

if I knew how to post an animated gif I would be that liter
 
2013-08-21 09:07:54 AM
Did he try to tackle their car? What the hell? If it's that important to catch the Hoff thieves just get the license plate from a distance and call the cops.
 
2013-08-21 09:12:39 AM

Harry Freakstorm: I felt a great disturbance in the Fark... as if millions and million liters suddenly started a Google Image search for a certain Hasselhoff animated gif.


coedmagazine.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-08-21 09:12:39 AM

FullMetalPanda: Was he German because I heard Germans love the Hoff.



www.fakenews.net

You, sir, are correct!
 
2013-08-21 09:16:06 AM
Follow up:  The thief/driver of the car has turned him self in after realizing he's a douche.  Kuddos to him for eventually doing the right thing, I suppose.

http://www.nbcconnecticut.com/news/local/Store-Clerk-Critically-Inur ed -Trying-to-Stop-Hasselhoff-Sign-Thieves-Steal-Cumberland-Farms-Shelton -220362401.html?_osource=SocialFlowTwt_CTBrand
 
2013-08-21 09:19:36 AM
I'm eating a hamburger on the bathroom floor as I read this.

Poor guy, you don't get paid enough to put up resistance to theft. When somebody steals your Hoff ads, just let them go, because they're gone....
 
2013-08-21 09:22:46 AM
We here in Cumbysland really, really need to stop caring about those stupid Hoff cutouts.  Hell, we let him SING in the ad this year.   With his shirt open.  How the fark is that supposed to make me feel hungry when I walk into a Cumbys???
 
2013-08-21 09:48:28 AM

belhade: To make it worse, he wasn't even supposed to be there today.


Wanted for questioning
t1.gstatic.com
 
2013-08-21 10:25:34 AM
It's a farking David Hasselhoff ad. Just let it go, man.
 
2013-08-21 10:26:19 AM

berylman: Better article including said advertisement.  http://www.cnbc.com/id/100975717
Iced Hoffee advert for Cumberland Farms ... I think being the assistant to the assistant crackwhore may carry more dignity Mr. Hasselhoff


In my bachelor days, that would have went PERFECTLY in my crappy bachelor pad. I can see why people would want that.
 
2013-08-21 11:16:18 AM
FTA:

In July 2012, 550 adsfeaturing Hasselhoff were stolen from Cumberland Farms stores in New England and Florida.

Seems to me there's an opportunity here.  If they can't hold on to the damn things because they keep getting stolen, how about SELLING the ads?   Price 'em cheap enough, people'll buy 'em in droves (people buy the craziest shiat these days) and they get some profit, lower the amount of theft AND more advertising/word of mouth.  It's a win/win.
 
2013-08-21 12:59:04 PM

FullMetalPanda: Was he German because I heard Germans love the Hoff.


My first thought it was Germany.
 
2013-08-21 02:01:49 PM
Not Florida, but the Florida of the northeast: Connecticut.
 
2013-08-21 03:05:02 PM

micah1701: Follow up:  The thief/driver of the car has turned him self in after realizing he's a douche.  Kuddos to him for eventually doing the right thing, I suppose.

http://www.nbcconnecticut.com/news/local/Store-Clerk-Critically-Inur ed -Trying-to-Stop-Hasselhoff-Sign-Thieves-Steal-Cumberland-Farms-Shelton -220362401.html?_osource=SocialFlowTwt_CTBrand


It is REALLY going to suck for the thief if this guy dies. Then he's looking at maybe a murder bid but probably a manslaughter charge, perhaps elevated to CT specific statutes like Aggravated Manslaughter or the likes. Either way, they're looking at some serious time potentially...

TL;DR - The driver's screwed and an idiot.

/yeah, I just used TL;DR there
//it's a commentary on something or other
/and it's important - important damn it!
 
2013-08-21 03:09:27 PM

brimed03: Oh, the Hoffmanity.

/can someone PhotoShop a Hoff manager?


Fraking spell check.  That was supposed to say Hoff manatee.

/came back to this threat looking for my Hoff manatee
//disappointed
 
2013-08-21 08:43:05 PM
came for the Clerks references, leaving satisfied
 
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