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(Fox News)   Officials at Denver University decide to retire their mascot--which is not Daniel Boone and doesn't look like Daniel Boone--so as not to offend people who think it is Daniel Boone. FARK: There are people offended by Daniel Boone   (foxnews.com) divider line 27
    More: Asinine, Daniel Boone  
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6270 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Aug 2013 at 1:04 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-08-21 01:09:58 AM  
5 votes:

KarmicDisaster: Daniel Boone was a man. He was a BIIIIIIG man.


But the bear was bigger so he ran like an attractive and successful african-american up a tree
2013-08-21 01:07:28 AM  
4 votes:

timujin: Highroller48: Daniel Boone was a goon. He was an asshole.

What'd he do that made him an asshole?

/not being defensive, actually curious and I'd like to get your take rather than what Wikipedia or other sources might say


He wore a hat made of the skin of slaves, for one.
2013-08-20 11:41:20 PM  
4 votes:
I heard in my Intro to Social Issues class that Daniel Boone once raped a black woman and ate the baby.
2013-08-20 10:02:46 PM  
4 votes:
How is this offensive? I think the Womyn's Studies Department got its hemp panties in a bunch.
2013-08-21 02:22:16 PM  
2 votes:

DirtyDeadGhostofEbenezerCooke: They're saying 'Boooooone!'


Is this one of them?
s7.postimg.org
/Obscure?
2013-08-21 09:05:21 AM  
2 votes:

Mid_mo_mad_man: dittybopper: Mid_mo_mad_man: dittybopper: Mid_mo_mad_man: One of the reasons they weren't as advance as Europeans was lack of animals/plants to easily domesticate. Horses, camels etc disappeared from the Americas same time Paleo-Indians showed up. No big domesticated animals ( besides llamas and alpacas) hamstrung thier development. Guns, Germs, and Steel explains it better then I can. It's a good read.

Do you know why the horses and camels disappeared?

Because the Paleo-Indians ate them.

I thought when I said they disappeared the same time Indians showed up people would put 2 and 2 togather. I guess I should have been more clear

This is Fark.  You could slap someone in the face with a bloody venison steak and they'd be all like "Hey, was that some kind of meat?".

Funny my wife said something similar in the bedroom the other day


Yes, I remember.
2013-08-21 02:49:08 AM  
2 votes:

Cockpuncher to the Stars: I don't think he wore a coon-skin cap. I thought that was Crocket, that asshole.


You are correct, sir. Everyone knows Daniel Boone wore a Boone-skin cap.

/"skin cap" was the common nomenclature of the time for "condom". A "Boone-skin cap" was a special prophylactic invented by Boone himself, which he made from stretched bear skin. Nothing closer to bare skin than bear skin, as he liked to say.

//and indeed, he had to kill many bears to make his skin caps, for Daniel Boone was a man. He was a BIIIIIIIG man...
2013-08-21 02:40:40 AM  
2 votes:

Wodan11: Prophet of Loss: Turns out, the kid's name really was "Daniel Boone" and was in fact a distant ancestor of the famous explorer.

What I want to hear about is the kid's ability to time travel.

/unless, of course, you meant the kid was in fact a distant descendant of the famous explorer....


Some past nastification may have occurred.
2013-08-21 01:39:32 AM  
2 votes:

Shostie: I heard in my Intro to Social Issues class that Daniel Boone once raped a black woman and ate the baby.


Nine months is a long time to wait for a meal.  Especially after you've worked up your appetite with a good rapin'.
2013-08-21 01:39:00 AM  
2 votes:

Prophet of Loss: In high school I worked at a Carl's Jr. as an assistant manager. We kept getting an application for "Daniel Boone" that we kept tossing it along with the other joke applications we got on a regular basis. Well one day, this kid and his mom come in furious demanding to know why we never contact her son. (It was a different time.) Turns out, the kid's name really was "Daniel Boone" and was in fact a distant ancestor of the famous explorer.


Well? Did he get the interview?

DID HE GET THE FARKING INTERVIEW?

DID HE?


You can't leave us hanging like that Cool Story Bro guy

/Bro's don't do that...
2013-08-21 11:21:10 AM  
1 votes:
Could have been worse, could have been this guy?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KrapC2a_3Xg
2013-08-21 09:15:54 AM  
1 votes:

Tyee: School officials won't even tell the truth about how popular the Denver Boone mascot is with students, in fact they fear putting him on a real ballot for the students to vote on.


I suppose it could be worse.  Mascot could be Denver Pyle instead:

upload.wikimedia.org
2013-08-21 09:14:30 AM  
1 votes:

Mid_mo_mad_man: Wait are you the American Indian midget prostitute we hired off of Craigslist ?


Clever disguise, no?
2013-08-21 09:11:08 AM  
1 votes:

dittybopper: Mid_mo_mad_man: dittybopper: Mid_mo_mad_man: dittybopper: Mid_mo_mad_man: One of the reasons they weren't as advance as Europeans was lack of animals/plants to easily domesticate. Horses, camels etc disappeared from the Americas same time Paleo-Indians showed up. No big domesticated animals ( besides llamas and alpacas) hamstrung thier development. Guns, Germs, and Steel explains it better then I can. It's a good read.

Do you know why the horses and camels disappeared?

Because the Paleo-Indians ate them.

I thought when I said they disappeared the same time Indians showed up people would put 2 and 2 togather. I guess I should have been more clear

This is Fark.  You could slap someone in the face with a bloody venison steak and they'd be all like "Hey, was that some kind of meat?".

Funny my wife said something similar in the bedroom the other day

Yes, I remember.




Wait are you the American Indian midget prostitute we hired off of Craigslist ?
2013-08-21 08:48:00 AM  
1 votes:

dittybopper: Mid_mo_mad_man: dittybopper: Mid_mo_mad_man: One of the reasons they weren't as advance as Europeans was lack of animals/plants to easily domesticate. Horses, camels etc disappeared from the Americas same time Paleo-Indians showed up. No big domesticated animals ( besides llamas and alpacas) hamstrung thier development. Guns, Germs, and Steel explains it better then I can. It's a good read.

Do you know why the horses and camels disappeared?

Because the Paleo-Indians ate them.

I thought when I said they disappeared the same time Indians showed up people would put 2 and 2 togather. I guess I should have been more clear

This is Fark.  You could slap someone in the face with a bloody venison steak and they'd be all like "Hey, was that some kind of meat?".




Funny my wife said something similar in the bedroom the other day
2013-08-21 08:39:39 AM  
1 votes:

Bonanza Jellybean: Best not to exclude anyone. Or offend anyone. Even theoretical anyones.


Is that supposed to be funny? Is this just a big joke to you? Do you think its OK to laugh at bald men with crooked mustaches? What kind of monster are you? I am offended!
2013-08-21 08:23:16 AM  
1 votes:

vudukungfu: What has every one got against Davy Crockett all of a sudden?


Bastard took my bike and hid out in the basement of the Alamo.
2013-08-21 07:49:28 AM  
1 votes:
I heard he killed an Arab when he was only nine.

Wait, no, that's not Daniel Boone, that's Davey Stein.
2013-08-21 06:29:08 AM  
1 votes:
Daniel Boone was a man,
Yes, a big man!
With an eye like an eagle
And as tall as a mountain was he!

Daniel Boone was a man,
Yes, a big man!
He was brave, he was fearless
And as tough as a mighty oak tree!

From the coonskin cap on the top of ol' Dan
To the heel of his rawhide shoe;
The rippin'est, roarin'est, fightin'est man
The frontier ever knew!

Daniel Boone was a man,
Yes, a big man!
And he fought for America
To make all Americans free!

What a Boone! What a doer!
What a dream come-er-true-er was he!

Daniel Boone was a man!
Yes, a big man!
With a whoop and a holler
he c'd mow down a forest of trees!

Daniel Boone was a man!
Yes, a big man!
If he frowned at a river
In July all the water would freeze!

But a peaceable, pioneer fella was Dan
When he smiled all the ice would thaw!
The singin'est, laughin'est, happiest man
The frontier ever saw!

Daniel Boone was a man!
Yes, a big man!
With a dream of a country that'd
Always forever be free!

What a Boone! What a do-er!
What a dream-come-er-true-er was he!
2013-08-21 05:50:05 AM  
1 votes:
How about the "McCain Democrats" as an alternate choice?

/Only for road games.
//You know, when they're traveling. . .
2013-08-21 01:44:41 AM  
1 votes:

fusillade762: Nine months is a long time to wait for a meal. Especially after you've worked up your appetite with a good rapin'.


He ate barr''s in the meantime. Mean old grizzly ones, that he killed with his bare hands. He was the Chuck Norris of his time. Do you know what happens when you fark with Chuck Norris? No? Well, nobody else knows either because nobody lives to tell the tale. It was the same with Daniel Boone.

/spits into spittoon
2013-08-21 01:38:53 AM  
1 votes:
Pat Boone, sure, but Daniel?
2013-08-21 01:36:46 AM  
1 votes:
"Later, his image and legend fell victim to revisionist ACTUAL history as he became associated with the forceful displacement of Native Americans from their land."

fark you fox news.
2013-08-21 01:35:41 AM  
1 votes:
Gather 'round kids, It's CSB time ...

In high school I worked at a Carl's Jr. as an assistant manager. We kept getting an application for "Daniel Boone" that we kept tossing it along with the other joke applications we got on a regular basis. Well one day, this kid and his mom come in furious demanding to know why we never contact her son. (It was a different time.) Turns out, the kid's name really was "Daniel Boone" and was in fact a distant ancestor of the famous explorer.

And they all lived happily ever after, THE END.

Now, its time for grandpa's sponge bath.
2013-08-21 01:23:14 AM  
1 votes:
Best not to exclude anyone. Or offend anyone. Even theoretical anyones.

25.media.tumblr.com
2013-08-21 01:16:06 AM  
1 votes:
www.webanswers.com

upload.wikimedia.org
2013-08-21 01:15:15 AM  
1 votes:
Used to go to a school with a mascot of "The Trappers"  Our request for "Got Pelt"  T-Shirts was swiftly and firmly denied.

That is all.
 
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