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(Stamford Advocate)   Naked woman tries the old "bite the cop" method of getting out of DUI   (stamfordadvocate.com) divider line 40
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4035 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Aug 2013 at 10:22 PM (35 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



40 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-08-20 08:56:15 PM
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-08-20 10:15:52 PM
Fifty Shades Of Inebriation
 
2013-08-20 10:23:59 PM
That can work, in some cases
 
2013-08-20 10:26:04 PM
Drunk, naked, and biting an officer is no way to go through life, lady.

/Golden Monkey beer?  The 1980s TV ripoff of Indiana Jones wants its trademark back.
 
2013-08-20 10:26:48 PM
She sounds like a party girl.
 
2013-08-20 10:26:52 PM
www.timeoutchicago.com
 
2013-08-20 10:27:38 PM
Maybe she was radioactive and the cop gained crazy b*tch superpowers?
 
2013-08-20 10:27:59 PM
The cop bite rarely works. You've really got to commit to it and convince the cop that you're just going to keep eating.

You also need to keep him from his gun, taser, club, radio, knife, etc..

You're better off just running to an Old Country Buffet. The people are slower, fatty and not heavily armed.
 
2013-08-20 10:34:59 PM
I'd never try this stunt personally, because I'm not sure if cop is better paired with red wine or white wine.  Plus, what kind of dessert would you follow up with?  It's really a lot easier to stick with eating babies.
 
2013-08-20 10:38:49 PM
 
2013-08-20 10:40:26 PM
Biting the cop might work, but that does not really change the cop's mind about letting you go.

How about a stiff kick in the nutsack, they would clearly like that expression of affection.
 
2013-08-20 10:41:35 PM

MrHappyRotter: I'd never try this stunt personally, because I'm not sure if cop is better paired with red wine or white wine.  Plus, what kind of dessert would you follow up with?  It's really a lot easier to stick with eating babies.


When in doubt, pair the wine with the sauce.  So dark sauce, red wine.  White sauce, white wine.  Also, be sure to choose your sauce so it compliments pork.
 
2013-08-20 10:42:41 PM
You shouldn't bite at all. Just use your lips and tongue. You can grind your teeth on it a little, I guess, if the cop likes that.
 
2013-08-20 10:42:56 PM
Bite him where?
 
2013-08-20 10:43:44 PM
I think she tried using the wrong four letter action word on the officer
 
2013-08-20 10:48:12 PM
MrHappyRotter
I'd never try this stunt personally, because I'm not sure if cop is better paired with red wine or white wine. Plus, what kind of dessert would you follow up with? It's really a lot easier to stick with eating babies.


Good question Mr. Rotter. Per my personal sommelier he states that people with african-american heritage probably have more fast-twitch muscle and you probably want a nice fruity sauvignon blanc or pino.

Anglo officer probably would be paired better with an acidic cabernet sauvignon to compliment their more neutral tasting muscle mass.

Eating babies has been so overdone, you would look like a gauche tourist and it is best avoided.
 
2013-08-20 10:55:12 PM

Enemabag Jones: MrHappyRotter
I'd never try this stunt personally, because I'm not sure if cop is better paired with red wine or white wine. Plus, what kind of dessert would you follow up with? It's really a lot easier to stick with eating babies.

Good question Mr. Rotter. Per my personal sommelier he states that people with african-american heritage probably have more fast-twitch muscle and you probably want a nice fruity sauvignon blanc or pino.

Anglo officer probably would be paired better with an acidic cabernet sauvignon to compliment their more neutral tasting muscle mass.

Eating babies has been so overdone, you would look like a gauche tourist and it is best avoided.


Your sommelier is an idiot.  Slow-twitch/fast-twitch can't be distinguished by taste.

What's important is whether the meat is marbled, the length of the fibers, and how often it's worked.  Cheeks and other parts of the face get unoaked Chardonnay or Chenin Blanc. Forearm and biceps get Pinot Noir or Merlot. Thigh and calf get Zinfandel, Malbec, or Grenache.  If the cop is really fat, then go a notch higher on body and/or tannin all around.
 
2013-08-20 10:57:20 PM
Golden Monkey is good stuff...quite strong at 9.5%.  I would expect more rational behavior from one with excellent taste like her.
 
2013-08-20 10:57:51 PM
More important is whether she had some fava beans and a nice Chianti.
 
2013-08-20 10:59:47 PM

Vodka Zombie: The cop bite rarely works. You've really got to commit to it and convince the cop that you're just going to keep eating.

You also need to keep him from his gun, taser, club, radio, knife, etc..

You're better off just running to an Old Country Buffet. The people are slower, fatty and not heavily armed.


Fatties can wield forks deftly
 
2013-08-20 11:02:00 PM
Mugshot in video here, Meh she is a rough 27 but id do her, as long as she was wearing a Hannibal Lecter bite mask


Amish Tech Support: Maybe she was radioactive and the cop gained crazy b*tch superpowers?


Na, if anything it will be rabies...
 
2013-08-20 11:03:59 PM
i135.photobucket.com

For the lazy
 
2013-08-20 11:14:01 PM
Link

/You know who else was a biter? Ill just leave this here.
 
2013-08-20 11:36:31 PM

FrancoFile: Enemabag Jones: MrHappyRotter
I'd never try this stunt personally, because I'm not sure if cop is better paired with red wine or white wine. Plus, what kind of dessert would you follow up with? It's really a lot easier to stick with eating babies.

Good question Mr. Rotter. Per my personal sommelier he states that people with african-american heritage probably have more fast-twitch muscle and you probably want a nice fruity sauvignon blanc or pino.

Anglo officer probably would be paired better with an acidic cabernet sauvignon to compliment their more neutral tasting muscle mass.

Eating babies has been so overdone, you would look like a gauche tourist and it is best avoided.

Your sommelier is an idiot.  Slow-twitch/fast-twitch can't be distinguished by taste.

What's important is whether the meat is marbled, the length of the fibers, and how often it's worked.  Cheeks and other parts of the face get unoaked Chardonnay or Chenin Blanc. Forearm and biceps get Pinot Noir or Merlot. Thigh and calf get Zinfandel, Malbec, or Grenache.  If the cop is really fat, then go a notch higher on body and/or tannin all around.


Great for you guys, but when visiting down along the Rio Grande we prefer Tequila. Whether you use lime or not depends on what side of the border you're own.
 
2013-08-20 11:43:24 PM

libranoelrose: Yep


lol wtf
 
2013-08-20 11:44:00 PM

Sock Ruh Tease: You shouldn't bite at all. Just use your lips and tongue. You can grind your teeth on it a little, I guess, if the cop likes that.


Maybe she was taking the Blond Breathalizer test.
 
2013-08-20 11:59:18 PM

Pribar: [i135.photobucket.com image 640x308]

For the lazy


Hi.
 
2013-08-21 12:02:06 AM
" Police believed Richards was intoxicated because she was swaying while standing and slurring her words."

Intoxicated, or an Eddie Vedder in concert impersonation.
 
2013-08-21 12:04:41 AM

Pribar: [i135.photobucket.com image 640x308]

For the lazy


...I would.
 
2013-08-21 12:27:40 AM

skinink: " Police believed Richards was intoxicated because she was swaying while standing and slurring her words."

Intoxicated, or an Eddie Vedder in concert impersonation.

i.imgur.com
 
2013-08-21 12:29:39 AM

ltdanman44: libranoelrose: Yep

lol wtf


worked now, didn't it?
 
2013-08-21 12:35:22 AM
"Failure to signal" wtf?  How do you arrive at a vehicle impailed in someones yard and decide that a lack os signaling contributed to this ridiculous conclusion.
 
2013-08-21 12:38:50 AM
...a member of Drunk Dialers Anonymous
 
2013-08-21 02:04:47 AM
So... the racial stereotypes, at least in this case, were correct.
 
2013-08-21 02:14:48 AM
Victory Golden Monkey? At least she has a decent taste in beer.

/would prefer Victory Baltic Thunder, but that's just me
 
2013-08-21 02:25:22 AM

ltdanman44: libranoelrose: Yep

lol wtf


That's hilarious. Whenever a cat's tail gets all twitchy like that it's a good idea to just vacate the area.  Thank god my current cat isn't as schitzo as the one I had when I was a kid.

I've never understood the whole humans biting other humans thing. It would never occur to me to do such a thing.
 
2013-08-21 04:20:04 AM

Pribar: [i135.photobucket.com image 640x308]

For the lazy


Yup.... she's got some nice teeth.
 
2013-08-21 04:43:26 AM
Soon.

static.guim.co.uk
 
2013-08-21 06:29:33 AM
She shouldn't bite a cop, unless he's been cooked first.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trichinosis

/Not to be confused with Trichomoniasis or Trichuriasis.
/or Trichotillomania.
 
2013-08-21 10:24:15 PM
 
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