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(Slate)   Dear Prudence, My slutty good for nothing niece is about to marry my bastard son. What should I do?   ( divider line
    More: Obvious, Prudi, David Plotz, Emily Yoffe, nieces, biological fathers, Prudie advises  
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18234 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Aug 2013 at 4:11 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-08-20 04:15:44 PM  
3 votes:
The weirder part of that whole question is the Prudi response, which is basically,
"don't tell anyone they're cousins, and btw I think cousin farking should be legal."
2013-08-20 02:05:16 PM  
3 votes:
From a genetic standpoint, their relationship is actually still distant enough for the risks to be negligible.

From a financial standpoint, Maury would probably pay a small fortune for this one.
2013-08-20 08:04:16 PM  
1 vote:
Am I the first one to point out that if the niece is actually indeed slutty, she's good for at least *ONE* thing?
2013-08-20 06:44:54 PM  
1 vote:

BizarreMan: On one hand it's presumptious as all hell to invite everybody to spend the one vacation a year they can afford...

To play devil's advocate, flip it around: if a lot of your invitees would have to travel to get to your wedding regardless, why not have it somewhere nicer to travel to, and allow them to  combine the wedding and real vacation instead of having to choose between the two?
2013-08-20 06:02:21 PM  
1 vote:
I don't really care about the genetics issue, but I do have a big farking problem with these parents LYING to their adult son to save mom the horror of admitting she's a cheating slut. The guy has a right to know! If they still choose to get married knowing they are cousins, then fine, but that is THEIR decision to make. And they should make it before any kids come along. Genetic testing is becoming designer and common place more and more so the chances of them finding out someday is pretty good. Lets not destroy a few innocent future kids lives when this blows up and the cousins get divorced all because the whore mother wants to save face.
2013-08-20 05:22:25 PM  
1 vote:

varmitydog: WTF? Don't they require blood tests for your marriage license up there in the DC area?

The blood test is for syphilis, not a genetic test that can determine if someone is your cousin.
2013-08-20 05:17:22 PM  
1 vote:

illannoyin: The brides cousins were already drunk and frisky during the wedding ceremony. They wanted me to drive them to the reception but I declined and drove home to my girlfriend.I have always regretted not going with them.

i.imgur.comView Full Size
2013-08-20 05:07:06 PM  
1 vote:
Send him off to the Night's Watch?
2013-08-20 04:56:00 PM  
1 vote:
I can't believe people are bragging about banging their cousins.  I'm not to judge, if that's your bag babby, I just find it a little taboo for me.  Or maybe its because I don't have any hot cousins, so I've never been tempted.
2013-08-20 04:53:01 PM  
1 vote:

jst3p: DROxINxTHExWIND: Wellon Dowd: blatz514: I have three incredibly hot cousins.  There, I said it.

I have two cousins I won't have minded marrying. Or at least honeymooning with.

Awwww shiat. Is this where this thread is going?


Hey Guys, whats going on in this thread?

Is her name Polly?
2013-08-20 04:43:34 PM  
1 vote:
Dear Prudence, My slutty good for nothing niece is about to marry my bastard son. What should I do?

Get a van and replace the steps leading up to your house with a ramp to get ready for the grandkids.
2013-08-20 04:36:27 PM  
1 vote:

theflatline: Halstread: theflatline: I have six pretty good looking sister in laws, so if something happens to the wife, i can move one on in, cause it ain't like we blood related. They are all the same size as my wife, so i wouldnt have to worry about a new wardrobe.

/sister in laws mmm mmm mmm

So... in your parts if your wife dies you remarry a sister of hers, and have to supply the clothing?

No, it is a common joke my wife makes with me, it something happens to her, I can marry one of her sisters.  We joke about it because they all share clothes, shoes, etc, so it would not be much a strain to move one in..

How..exactly does that conversation go?

Wife: They borrow all my stuff they may as well borrow you, too!
You: *no response due to awkwardness*
Wife: ha ha ha ha you should bang my sisters!  Ha ha ha!
You: maybe just ask Brittany to give me a handy while we're all drunk?
Wife *Slap!*  you're such a sick pervert!  I'm leaving you!
You: OK, I'll get the lube
2013-08-20 04:26:54 PM  
1 vote:

illannoyin: Years ago I went to a friend's wedding up in the wild hinterlands of Wiscansin.

The brides cousins were already drunk and frisky during the wedding ceremony. They wanted me to drive them to the reception but I declined and drove home to my girlfriend.

I have always regretted not going with them.

I've highlighted the biggest regret you should have about that.
2013-08-20 04:21:18 PM  
1 vote:
Now that they're in love, there's absolutely no way to stop this without farking them up for life. Unless the family already has a lot of recessive genetic disorders, the chances of farked-up babies from a one-off first cousin marriage is really slim. Just leave them alone.
2013-08-20 04:17:25 PM  
1 vote:
It's going to come out eventually.  There's a very awkward day coming in this couples future.
2013-08-20 04:13:45 PM  
1 vote:
post photos of the wedding, thats what you should do.
2013-08-20 02:22:33 PM  
1 vote:
I was feelin' pretty down
'Till my girlfriend came around
We're just so alike in every way
I gotta say

In fact, I just thought I might
Pop the question there that night
I was kissing her so tenderly
But woe is me

Who would have guessed
Her family crest
I'd suddely spy
Tattooed on her thigh
And son-of-a-gun
It's just like the one on me

Tell me
How was I supposed to know we were both related?
Believe me, if I knew she was my cousin we never would have dated
What to do now? Should I go ahead and propose
And get hitched and have kids with eleven toes
And move to Alabama where that kind of thing is tolerated?
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