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(Denver Channel)   Tips for talking with teens, such as not making any sudden movements, keeping hands palm down and at your side, and speaking very slowly   (thedenverchannel.com ) divider line
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7848 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Jan 2004 at 10:00 PM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2004-01-12 06:10:18 PM  
Also, when threatened make yourself appear as big as possible and make a lot of noises to try to scare the teen away. Do not run. Teens love to chase their prey.

Kudos to headline writer. Excellent.
 
2004-01-12 06:15:30 PM  
Get them drunk first?
Ohhh, talking to them if you're their parent-- not trying to get some action tonight. Carry on.
 
2004-01-12 06:20:24 PM  
This advice works well on frenzied cougars as well I hear.
 
2004-01-12 06:21:39 PM  
Why do I need to talk to them, they've got television and teh intrawebnet.
 
2004-01-12 06:26:24 PM  
Great. It's the AskMen of parenting.
 
2004-01-12 06:36:36 PM  
and remember, wash your hands after handling teens.
 
2004-01-12 06:37:07 PM  
It probably depends on the teen, but I get the most mileage out of treating them like adults. Don't talk down to them, and don't pretend they are a sub-class of the regular populous.
 
2004-01-12 06:37:43 PM  
Avoid lengthy eye contact, as they are apt to misinterpret this as a threat.
 
2004-01-12 06:38:20 PM  
and don't pretend they are a sub-class of the regular populous.

Pretend?
 
2004-01-12 07:32:03 PM  
Does anyone actually think things out through talking? Besides isn't "Always keep the tazer in plain view" the best advice, no matter what the situation?
 
2004-01-12 08:49:42 PM  
Do NOT try and escape by hiding in a tree. Teens are excellent climbers.
 
2004-01-12 09:30:23 PM  
1. LET TEENS KNOW YOU ARE WILLING TO JUST PLAIN LISTEN.
2. BE ACCESSIBLE.
3. USE QUESTIONS SPARINGLY.
4. TRY NOT TO BE DEFENSIVE.
5. GIVE STRAIGHT FORWARD ADVICE OR FEEDBACK ON IMPORTANT ISSUES .
6. TALK ABOUT YOURSELF SOMETIMES INSTEAD OF THE TEEN.
7. SET UP AND USE FAMILY MEETINGS TO FULL ADVANTAGE.
8. SHOW INTIMACY.
9. GIVE LOTS OF PRAISE AND POSITIVE FEEDBACK.
10. GIVE THEM RESPONSIBILITIES WITH EVERY PRIVILEGE;
11. TEACH THEM TO MAKE DECISIONS .
12. TEACH THEM TO DEAL WITH INFORMATION.
13. TAKE TIME TO RELAX AND HAVE FUN.
14. MAKE THEM EARN WHAT THEY WANT.

This list also applies to men dealing with their woman.
Lucky us.
 
2004-01-12 09:33:06 PM  
According to a lot of the email in my inbox, it's easy to talk to teens. Especially hot, wet ones who are into steamy girl-on-girl action. Some of them have other interests like chugging huge cocks and romping with assorted barnyard friends. All you need is a credit card.
 
2004-01-12 09:33:07 PM  
Whatever you do, never, NEVER turn your back on them. They are very unpredicable.
 
2004-01-12 09:35:04 PM  
Oops. Here's the "How to Make Women Happy" list (pertinant point are bolded):
1. LET TEENS KNOW YOU ARE WILLING TO JUST PLAIN LISTEN.
2. BE ACCESSIBLE.
3. USE QUESTIONS SPARINGLY.
4. TRY NOT TO BE DEFENSIVE.

5. GIVE STRAIGHT FORWARD ADVICE OR FEEDBACK ON IMPORTANT ISSUES .
6. TALK ABOUT YOURSELF SOMETIMES INSTEAD OF THE TEEN.
7. SET UP AND USE FAMILY MEETINGS TO FULL ADVANTAGE.
8. SHOW INTIMACY.
9. GIVE LOTS OF PRAISE AND POSITIVE FEEDBACK.

10. GIVE THEM RESPONSIBILITIES WITH EVERY PRIVILEGE;
11. TEACH THEM TO MAKE DECISIONS .
12. TEACH THEM TO DEAL WITH INFORMATION.

13. TAKE TIME TO RELAX AND HAVE FUN.
14. MAKE THEM EARN WHAT THEY WANT.

I guess if you're into teen girls, you have a double advantage by memorizing these.
 
2004-01-12 10:01:13 PM  
LET TEENS KNOW YOU ARE WILLING TO JUST PLAIN LISTEN to their ideas without making judgments.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA​HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!...Wait, I got to get a drink and a blunt. Now go on, what were you saying?...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA​HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
 
2004-01-12 10:04:11 PM  
The only way I'm going to listen to a 'teen' is if she has REALLY big tits.
 
2004-01-12 10:04:38 PM  
I have 2 of them... and I'd want to talk to them why?
 
2004-01-12 10:05:01 PM  
Don't feed them. Much like a stray dog, they will never stop coming around if you do.
 
2004-01-12 10:07:02 PM  
MaLaCoiD:

Get them drunk first?

Dad: Who taught you how to do this stuff?
Son: YOU, DAD! I LEARNED IT FROM WATCHING YOU!
 
2004-01-12 10:08:43 PM  
15. Beat them.
 
2004-01-12 10:10:15 PM  
Tell your son/daugter if they ever choose to turn "Gangsta" on you, you'll send them to live with Grandma for a month where they will be expected to change her diapers, puree' her food, and put on her bra so she doesn't trip on her flappy tits.

That'll get the bastards in line. Stupid vacuum-cleaner driving, eardrum blowing, more-metal-in-your-body-than-the-average-Vietnam-Vet "Gangsta's". May you all get thrown in jail and become Big Bubba's fresh meat.
 
2004-01-12 10:11:53 PM  
You do not have to beat them. Waving a gun around usually gets the point across.

But if you really want them to listen, electrodes.
 
2004-01-12 10:11:55 PM  
16. Put roofies in their beer
 
2004-01-12 10:12:12 PM  
Spare the child, spoil the rod.

Wait...
 
2004-01-12 10:12:41 PM  
Generation X, meet your kids/grandkids, Degeneration X
 
2004-01-12 10:13:08 PM  
blankman

Dad: Here's twenty bucks and the keys to the Mustang. Don't come home till tomorrow.

Me: ALRIGHT!
 
2004-01-12 10:16:02 PM  
It is a personal pet peeve of mine that we, as a culture, distance ourselves from our teens, rather then get them ready to become fully functioning adults. We talk down to them, get nostalgic, and offend them by assuming that they know nothing. Then we wonder why our youth is so disinfranchised from society.
 
2004-01-12 10:17:07 PM  
"TEACH THEM TO MAKE DECISIONS and make them accept the consequences of each choice they make."

This advice is outrageous, preposterous and egregious. How would Tort Lawyers make money?
 
2004-01-12 10:17:55 PM  
"Chew food before swallowing."

or

"For Vaginal Use Only."
 
2004-01-12 10:18:10 PM  
"SHOW INTIMACY. Teens are still kids inside; they need the warm feelings of belonging that come from good touches and hugs. "

*snickers* Where to begin.
 
2004-01-12 10:19:22 PM  
I play starcraft. I don't need to talk to under"lings"
 
2004-01-12 10:21:10 PM  
intimacy

2: a usually secretive or illicit sexual relationship


Really!!!
 
2004-01-12 10:21:42 PM  
I'm sorry but if any adult tries to 8. SHOW INTIMACY on me, im gonna kick them in the balls and run away very fast.
"I need an adult, I need an adult."~Family Guy
 
2004-01-12 10:23:57 PM  
2004-01-12 10:16:02 PM smalltimesentuality
It is a personal pet peeve of mine that we, as a culture, distance ourselves from our teens, rather then get them ready to become fully functioning adults. We talk down to them, get nostalgic, and offend them by assuming that they know nothing. Then we wonder why our youth is so disinfranchised from society.


I felt the same way at that age too. Now that I am heading towards my late-20's i have come to realise that i didn't know anything.
 
2004-01-12 10:24:13 PM  
4. TRY NOT TO BE DEFENSIVE.

This one really is hard to do. You bust your butt all day at work to give them a good house, food and a good school then they tell you how you're ruining thier lives. Sheesh.

That's why I had to chew his arm off and beat him to death with it.
 
2004-01-12 10:24:32 PM  
"I've helped many, many, many children, thousands of children, cancer kids, leukemia kids."

[image from news.bbc.co.uk too old to be available]
 
2004-01-12 10:27:06 PM  
okay, this is not completely stupid, it's just remedial in most cases and worded spactacularly badly in others. There are some words missing, most notably "respect" and "honsety". oh well.
 
2004-01-12 10:31:20 PM  
[SHOW INTIMACY. Teens are still kids inside; they need the warm feelings of belonging that come from good touches and hugs.]

GAH! Bad Fark! Baaaaad!
 
2004-01-12 10:39:31 PM  
I can't stop laughing, you are the most evil farks on this planet, and it's farking hilarious.
 
2004-01-12 10:41:42 PM  
I guess breaking the caps lock is part of good teen parenting.
 
Oro
2004-01-12 10:43:23 PM  
Put them through the marines at age 16.
 
2004-01-12 10:48:28 PM  
Do not pet them while they are eating.
 
2004-01-12 11:00:25 PM  
Do not pet them while they are eating.

Friend of mine tried that once. It was ugly. I still have the nightmares. *shudder*
 
2004-01-12 11:01:06 PM  
Arrange sex for them.

/worshipilarity ensues
 
2004-01-12 11:03:45 PM  
Make them earn what they want...does that count I won it from gambling with my uncles?
 
2004-01-12 11:05:25 PM  
Aw crap...a typo. I meant if I won it.
 
2004-01-12 11:12:15 PM  
they forgot the final step

"Encourage and remind the teen that their life goal is to secure only the most luxurious of retirement homes for you once you get older. Encourage them to get an honest job, so the social security fund only goes broke on them, not you."
 
EHT
2004-01-12 11:28:32 PM  
Being 18...I say just leave us the hell alone and let us figure stuff out for ourselves....And bail us out of jail only 3 times....Then we are on our own....
 
PTK
2004-01-12 11:33:29 PM  
Being 17, I learned a lot from my dumbass sisters, never figured out what they were and weren't tuaght. Don't care.

And I second EHT, just leave us the hell alone, let us fark up. Little pointers, tips, just enough. And when we get thrown in jail, tell us to fark off and learn to love Bubba, or bail us out and beat the shiat out of us...your choice. :)
 
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