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(National Geographic)   National Geographic wonders what's behind the recent bear attacks. I'm no expert, but I bet it's bears   ( news.nationalgeographic.com) divider line
    More: Obvious, bear attacks  
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1795 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Aug 2013 at 10:07 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



52 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2013-08-20 09:40:36 AM  
Colbert has been warning us about this for years, but no one pays heed.
 
2013-08-20 09:46:37 AM  
Thanks, Obama
 
2013-08-20 09:56:37 AM  
Blacks, browns, and whites. They're all angry.
 
2013-08-20 10:01:56 AM  
Maybe it's lions and tigers.
 
2013-08-20 10:07:31 AM  
That's what the wolves want you to believe.
 
2013-08-20 10:10:09 AM  
I sent out a memo.

Dear Bears:

Humans are tasty and run slow.

Love,

SpdrJay
 
2013-08-20 10:10:25 AM  
It's like a freaking country bear jamberoo around here.
 
2013-08-20 10:11:32 AM  
fact: bears eat beets
 
2013-08-20 10:16:44 AM  
Just saw a black bear on my bike ride yesterday. There are a shiatload around here.

CSB- a bear wandered all the way to the ghetto in downtown Orlando and was captured then released in ocala national forest. A year later, same bear wandered to Tampa. That is one hell of an exploratory bear.
 
2013-08-20 10:16:45 AM  
REALLY?!?!?!? I have to be the on to do this?!??!?

50 minutes??????

You people suck.
static.giantbomb.com
 
2013-08-20 10:17:16 AM  
Bears drink their own piss these days so I'm willing to assume some of them were getting their freak flag up high and after a weekend of gargling psychedelic piss cocktails they tripped out on eating some of us convenient walking burgers.
If I were a bear I'd eat honey, but that's just me.
 
2013-08-20 10:17:52 AM  
False flag.
 
2013-08-20 10:18:17 AM  

ChipNASA: REALLY?!?!?!? I have to be the on to do this?!??!?

50 minutes??????

You people suck.


Technically, over in one...
 
2013-08-20 10:19:42 AM  
Hmmm. It's the time of year when more people are out in the woods hiking than any other time.

Must be a coincidence...
 
2013-08-20 10:23:28 AM  
i1.ytimg.com
has a theory
 
2013-08-20 10:23:36 AM  
www.awolfamongwolves.com
 
2013-08-20 10:27:44 AM  
moodle.solanco.org
 
2013-08-20 10:35:42 AM  

zulius: ChipNASA: REALLY?!?!?!? I have to be the on to do this?!??!?

50 minutes??????

You people suck.

Technically, over in one...


Well yeah but you need the graphic.
 
2013-08-20 10:36:20 AM  
i.chzbgr.com
 
2013-08-20 10:44:45 AM  

planes: [i.chzbgr.com image 441x407]


that's awesome
 
2013-08-20 10:47:01 AM  
Black and brown bears attack. Polar bears are standing their ground.
 
2013-08-20 11:08:41 AM  
Good hiking season combined with media getting bored with sharks. Bears aren't naturally predatory towards humans but if you surprise them on their home turf they will fight.
 
2013-08-20 11:13:02 AM  

The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves: Black and brown bears attack. Polar bears are standing their ground.


*golf clap*
 
2013-08-20 11:15:27 AM  
We had a family of four bears, mama and her three cubs, break into our house in Wintergreen, VA about 3 weeks ago.  Ransacked the kitchen, ate all the peanuts and hotdog buns.  Was about 2am when it happened.

The next week I'm hiking in Jackson Hole, WY in Granite Canyon... no bears.

I blame the people.
 
2013-08-20 11:17:39 AM  
I saw my first bear in the wild a couple years ago in Montana and I got so excited I ran after it.

My mother always said if I really put my mind to it, I could be a statistic when I grew up.
 
2013-08-20 11:21:15 AM  

The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves: Black and brown bears attack. Polar bears are standing their ground.


Polar bears are not white.  Their fur is transparent so it's an optical illusion that they appear white.
 
2013-08-20 11:21:35 AM  
Saw a grizzly chasing mountain goats at Glacier this weekend. Also had a brown bear cub cross right in front of me on a trail. Moved the other direction, as I didn't want to meet mama.

Take bear spray when you go into the wilderness. DUH
 
2013-08-20 11:24:11 AM  

planes: [i.chzbgr.com image 441x407]


That is turrifying.
 
2013-08-20 11:30:51 AM  
Slightly off topic, but indulge me just for a moment. Instead of using those goofy farking cartoon bear characters, who seem to be just getting over a case of the shiats, to flog their Charmin, wouldn't P&G be better off using Pooh Bear?

P.S. On a side note, when old Mr. Whipple said: " .. don't squeeze the Charmin", was he talking about before or after we used it?
 
2013-08-20 11:32:36 AM  

rikkitikkitavi: We had a family of four bears, mama and her three cubs, break into our house in Wintergreen, VA about 3 weeks ago.  Ransacked the kitchen, ate all the peanuts and hotdog buns.  Was about 2am when it happened.

The next week I'm hiking in Jackson Hole, WY in Granite Canyon... no bears.

I blame the people.


Yikes! This may be a dumb question, but you didn't specify...were you home when this happened?
 
2013-08-20 11:33:11 AM  
We are HERE! WE are QUEER! WE DON'T WANT ANYMORE BEARS!
 
2013-08-20 11:33:58 AM  

mediablitz: Saw a grizzly chasing mountain goats at Glacier this weekend. Also had a brown bear cub cross right in front of me on a trail. Moved the other direction, as I didn't want to meet mama.

Take bear spray when you go into the wilderness. DUH


Ever notice that most bear dung smells like bear spray and looks like bright orange camo?
 
2013-08-20 11:37:37 AM  

Minerva8918: rikkitikkitavi: We had a family of four bears, mama and her three cubs, break into our house in Wintergreen, VA about 3 weeks ago.  Ransacked the kitchen, ate all the peanuts and hotdog buns.  Was about 2am when it happened.

The next week I'm hiking in Jackson Hole, WY in Granite Canyon... no bears.

I blame the people.

Yikes! This may be a dumb question, but you didn't specify...were you home when this happened?


Absolutely home.  Three families were there, 6 adults and 10 children downstairs (kitchen and family rooms are on the top floor).  My wife came upstairs thinking someone was still up playing cards and drinking and discovered them all on the counters going through the dry goods.  We just watched from the other side of the room, till they got bored and walked out the door they came in.

Still not sure if I'm going to get hit with the security deposit on that. I think homeowners insurance should cover it.
 
2013-08-20 11:48:28 AM  
I want to know what is behind the recent rash of tree frogs jumping into people's mouths.

Seriously. We got home from dinner and school supplies shopping last night and there
was a tree frog on our front door. No biggie, that happens all the time. It was dark and I
was fumbling with getting the key into the lock to open the door and when I opened my
mouth to answer one of my son's questions, WHAM the damn frog jumped into my mouth.

In. My. MOUTH!!!!

Ew ew ew ew ew ew!

jimhillmedia.com
 
2013-08-20 12:02:37 PM  

digitalrain: I want to know what is behind the recent rash of tree frogs jumping into people's mouths.

Seriously. We got home from dinner and school supplies shopping last night and there
was a tree frog on our front door. No biggie, that happens all the time. It was dark and I
was fumbling with getting the key into the lock to open the door and when I opened my
mouth to answer one of my son's questions, WHAM the damn frog jumped into my mouth.

In. My. MOUTH!!!!

Ew ew ew ew ew ew!

[jimhillmedia.com image 480x332]


You're not fooling anyone, Miss Piggy.
 
2013-08-20 12:03:54 PM  

Weatherkiss: digitalrain: I want to know what is behind the recent rash of tree frogs jumping into people's mouths.

Seriously. We got home from dinner and school supplies shopping last night and there
was a tree frog on our front door. No biggie, that happens all the time. It was dark and I
was fumbling with getting the key into the lock to open the door and when I opened my
mouth to answer one of my son's questions, WHAM the damn frog jumped into my mouth.

In. My. MOUTH!!!!

Ew ew ew ew ew ew!

[jimhillmedia.com image 480x332]

You're not fooling anyone, Miss Piggy.


Sigh...I kinda set myself up for that, didn't I?
 
2013-08-20 12:14:21 PM  

planes: [i.chzbgr.com image 441x407]


You bastard, I almost choked while trying to suppress laughter.

/such awesomeness
 
2013-08-20 12:15:33 PM  
I blame the immigrants.
 
2013-08-20 12:18:39 PM  

The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves: Black and brown bears attack. Polar bears are standing their ground.


Took me a minute to get that...

Anyways, if I was a bear I'd eat people too. People are soft and gooshy and most of them are assholes who deserve to be eaten by a bear anyways.
 
2013-08-20 12:20:26 PM  
www.jenniehk.com
 
2013-08-20 12:24:55 PM  

ADHD Librarian: [www.awolfamongwolves.com image 500x333]


Technically that's a Tiger Rock and wouldn't be useful against any bears.
 
2013-08-20 12:34:09 PM  

mediablitz: Saw a grizzly chasing mountain goats at Glacier this weekend. Also had a brown bear cub cross right in front of me on a trail. Moved the other direction, as I didn't want to meet mama.

Take bear spray when you go into the wilderness. DUH


Don't forget the bells.

www.outdooroddities.com
 
2013-08-20 12:47:47 PM  

Headso: fact: bears eat beets


Bears, Beets, Battlestar Gallactica
 
2013-08-20 01:01:21 PM  
I was out Running on a trail at work one noon and heard a rustling in the woods.  Went over to look and saw nothing.  Continued to run and heard a car honking.  Look toward the car and this black bear was coming right toward me (I am assuming that the rustling in the woods was her cub).  The car honked some more and the beer veered off.  I did not continue with my run.

/kinda csb
 
2013-08-20 01:12:30 PM  

Buck Henderson: I blame the immigrants.


Even when it was the bears I knew it was them.
 
2013-08-20 01:48:22 PM  
Bears doing what bears do.. Walking along. Hey guess what people. There are other animals on this planet. *shakes head.
 
2013-08-20 01:56:59 PM  

oldernell: Colbert has been warning us about this for years, but no one pays heed.


It's the Bearpocalypse
 
2013-08-20 02:07:02 PM  
A spike in human-bear confrontations of this size might be a statistical fluke, but my theory is that people don't go camping as much as they used to in the Good Old Days any more and are less acquainted with basic woodcraft and survival skills that come from camping, hunting, fishing, and simply living a bit closer to nature.

In other words, let's blame Generations X, Y and Z. They've got the stupid with bells on.

Well, actually, if they had bells on, the bears would hear them coming and get out of their way.

You know what I mean. Population growing, sum total of national IQ points fixed.

It is also possible that the bear population has reached a periodic spike and thus there are more young bears out there, hungry, disoriented, not knowing what they want to do with their lives since Yogi Bear and Friends was cancelled. They live in their Mother's Dens and eat junk food all day long, which makes them more aggressive, just like human louts.

When their Mothers shoo them out into the fresh air, they run into morans like themselves, only plump, pink and pasty. They naturally mistake them for peeps and try to see how many they can stuff in their mouths at one time.

If the bear attacks are happening outside of national parks and such recreational areas, it may have something to do with the modern trend of building suburbs right in the woods without taking trouble to cut the trees down and make old-timey log fences out of them. Wildlife seems to be adapting to the presence of humans without shotguns, and the result is more contact between large mammals and humans. Deer and elk are attacking people on their lawns, moose are falling into swimming pools or walking into them thinking they are beaver ponds, and bears are attacking humans who run out of food to feed them.

In any case, whatever the reason, stupid is meeting stupid. That's the recipe for a lot of Fark headlines.
 
2013-08-20 02:37:17 PM  
Are the attacks one-offs or are they repeating?
 
2013-08-20 03:00:10 PM  

brantgoose: oldernell: Colbert has been warning us about this for years, but no one pays heed.

It's the Bearpocalypse


Bearnado: starring Paris Hilton and Steve Guttenburg
 
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