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(New Musical Express)   Sylvester Stallone reveals what he optimistically calls a "plot" for The Expendables 3   (nme.com) divider line 45
    More: Followup, Sylvester Stallone, Expendables, Antonio Banderas, Victor Ortiz, Wesley Snipes, Kellan Lutz, Ronda Rousey, boxing champions  
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1668 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 20 Aug 2013 at 9:11 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



45 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-08-20 09:15:34 AM  
Sour grapes eh subby? You still pissed he canned your boyfriend?
 
2013-08-20 09:20:37 AM  
Plot? Ridiculous shoot em up action movies styled after the old 80s type action flicks don't need anything but the most bare bones of plots. People don't go to those movies for plot they go for cheesy one liners, guns that don't need to be reloaded, 'splosions, and if viewers are lucky, a whole 3-5 seconds of titties that show up for no reason.

And sometimes, that's all we want.
 
2013-08-20 09:25:33 AM  
Mel Gibson is the villian... is this satire?
 
2013-08-20 09:29:05 AM  

hotmoonsauce: Mel Gibson is the villian... is this satire?


Well if you are a female or a jew you probably think this is the part he was born to play.
 
2013-08-20 09:29:13 AM  
I liked the last two movies. They were fun, they were cheesy, and they never tried to be anything more than what they were and they knew it.

Although I always had in the back of my mind that what the fark happened to Dolph's face
 
2013-08-20 09:30:01 AM  

hotmoonsauce: Mel Gibson is the villian... is this satire?


Basically, yeah.  They weren't completely in on the joke in Expendables 1, but by #2 they were clearly self-aware.
 
2013-08-20 09:31:01 AM  

IdBeCrazyIf: Although I always had in the back of my mind that what the fark happened to Dolph's face


About 30 years.
 
2013-08-20 09:38:36 AM  
They need Danny Glover to be his evil partner, or he could reprise his role as that serial killer guy
 
2013-08-20 09:43:52 AM  

hotmoonsauce: Mel Gibson is the villian... is this satire?


www.joblo.com
 
2013-08-20 09:45:33 AM  
More like a treatment.
See a doctor
get rid of it
 
2013-08-20 09:46:10 AM  

Garko: hotmoonsauce: Mel Gibson is the villian... is this satire?

[www.joblo.com image 480x576]


Holy fark!  Is ... is that ... nah, can't be!
 
2013-08-20 09:48:33 AM  

Dr. Kefarkian: Holy fark! Is ... is that ... nah, can't be!


Money can buy a lot of human growth hormones
 
2013-08-20 09:48:55 AM  

Garko: hotmoonsauce: Mel Gibson is the villian... is this satire?


Holy shiat
 
2013-08-20 10:09:39 AM  

hotmoonsauce: Mel Gibson is the villian... is this satire?


mel gibson is the villain in the new machete movie as well.  i think he knows that his recent tabloid exploits have made him unpopular as a leading man, so he's channeling some of his anger into bad guy roles for awhile to get back into the movie industry and hopefully work towards starring roles again.  but that's just a guess.  i'm totally seeing machete kills in theaters, i know that much.
 
2013-08-20 10:15:51 AM  

hotmoonsauce: Mel Gibson is the villian... is this satire?


Well they wanted Steven Seagal but once again he turned down being in one of these movies.

/and now I see Antonio Banderas is on board
//who HAVEN'T they gotten to be in this series?
///I mean at this point I half-expect to see the CGI-reanimated body of John Wayne in the cast
 
2013-08-20 10:39:30 AM  
They need to have a scene where they go to recruit Clint Eastwood and he scares them off with just a scowl.
 
2013-08-20 10:59:40 AM  
eh, who needs a plot? I like the Expendables movies. Mindless fun
 
2013-08-20 10:59:47 AM  
What's the over/under that he says, "I'm too old for this shiat" at some point?
 
2013-08-20 11:17:43 AM  

Infernalist: They need to have a scene where they go to recruit Clint Eastwood and he scares them off with just a scowl.


Pretty sure he'd just shoot Jet Li.
 
2013-08-20 11:31:41 AM  

abhorrent1: eh, who needs a plot? I like the Expendables movies. Mindless fun


I enjoyed the first but was expecting a little more effort with the second. The plot was forgettable and the "subtle" jokes were cringe-worthy
 
2013-08-20 11:58:17 AM  

IdBeCrazyIf: Dr. Kefarkian: Holy fark! Is ... is that ... nah, can't be!

Money can buy a lot of human growth hormones


Gonna have to go with a THIS. Mel's never had a big frame, even when he was younger and in great shape. No way he put that much muscle on without some form of additive.

/Always though he woulda made a great Wolverine.
 
2013-08-20 12:18:27 PM  

blacksharpiemarker: abhorrent1: eh, who needs a plot? I like the Expendables movies. Mindless fun

I enjoyed the first but was expecting a little more effort with the second. The plot was forgettable and the "subtle" jokes were cringe-worthy

 
2013-08-20 12:20:46 PM  
frak it.  More Charisma Carpenter this time!
 
2013-08-20 12:21:10 PM  
Sylvester Stallone reveals what he optimistically calls a "plot"...

grocerystorefeet.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-08-20 12:28:02 PM  

rockymountainrider: frak it.  More Charisma Carpenter this time!


What about right now?
d1fgn7wex1bhjn.cloudfront.net
d1fgn7wex1bhjn.cloudfront.net
fcbahistory.pbworks.com

nom...
 
2013-08-20 12:55:57 PM  

LonMead: rockymountainrider: frak it.  More Charisma Carpenter this time!

What about right now?
[d1fgn7wex1bhjn.cloudfront.net image 560x416]
[d1fgn7wex1bhjn.cloudfront.net image 560x363]
[fcbahistory.pbworks.com image 303x645]

nom...


Yes please! She was the hottest part of Buffy right after Willow, and then the hottest part of Angel until whatever happened that she ended up leaving the show.
 
2013-08-20 12:57:55 PM  

abhorrent1: eh, who needs a plot? I like the Expendables movies. Mindless fun

 
2013-08-20 01:04:10 PM  
images.wikia.com

It moved....
 
2013-08-20 01:09:09 PM  

DanZero: abhorrent1: eh, who needs a plot? I like the Expendables movies. Mindless fun


Eh, that's bullshiat. There's no reason why an action movie can't have an intelligent script. The two concepts aren't mutually exclusive.
 
2013-08-20 01:20:23 PM  

Mugato: DanZero: abhorrent1: eh, who needs a plot? I like the Expendables movies. Mindless fun

Eh, that's bullshiat. There's no reason why an action movie can't have an intelligent script. The two concepts aren't mutually exclusive.


Sure there's no reason why they can't, but there's no reason they should either. It's pretty well known that mindless action films do just fine box office without a well done plot or storyline, and they can be enjoyable as well. Just because you may think that they should have decent plots and story, doesn't mean that's what the rest of the viewing public wants. And that's fine, but most movies outside of mindless action or intentionally silly B movie do need some form of coherent plot.
 
2013-08-20 01:30:16 PM  
i really wanted to like the expendables... but i can't.  they just don't make action movies like they used to.

personally, i think it's a combination of over-reliance on CGI and modern, talent-avoiding cinematography trends.

they look like goofy cartoons.  i mean, go back in time and watch commando.  horrible movie, one of the worst.  but also, one of the best.  most one liners, must ridiculousness, most poorly shooting bad guys, most double axle backflipping grenade victims, worst acting, and not even a good plot (if there was one, oh yeah, kidnapping and dude in chainmail!).  everything was stupid.  but, at least the explosions looked real, the guns looked like they were shooting stuff (blanks) and the bullet holes and wounds looked like FX and blood packs and real enough.  no cgi.  cgi trauma is unwatchable.  it just turns the whole shot into a cheap cartoon.

CGI just looks dumb. everything moves incorrectly.  plus, shiatty camera angles and short takes.  makes the whole thing disjointed and actionless.  the more the camera moves, the less action there is to enjoy.  you use a shaky fast camera to confuse and discombobulate.  that's great in a movie with a plot and a point, and in this moment, you want the audience not to know anything.  in an action movie, you want action, not the suspicion or consequences of action.  long shots like children of men will have infinitely more action where some goons try to jump start a car by rolling it down a hill than any of the modern style action movies will ever have with over 100 kills in 100 frames.
 
2013-08-20 01:49:23 PM  

Mugato: DanZero: abhorrent1: eh, who needs a plot? I like the Expendables movies. Mindless fun

Eh, that's bullshiat. There's no reason why an action movie can't have an intelligent script. The two concepts aren't mutually exclusive.


True, but in the end I don't care. For every enjoyable mindless flick like Expendables it helps it's parent studio Lionsgate get more clout in the distribution industry and helps to keep pressure on moving towards VOD services like Netflix and Redbox. The more money they make, the faster I can get my entertainment on my terms.

So I say, keep making em till its Expendables 43, The Quest for Pampers
 
2013-08-20 01:52:38 PM  

bluorangefyre: hotmoonsauce: Mel Gibson is the villian... is this satire?

Well they wanted Steven Seagal but once again he turned down being in one of these movies.

/and now I see Antonio Banderas is on board
//who HAVEN'T they gotten to be in this series?


Ummm...Steven Seagal. You just said so
 
2013-08-20 02:37:48 PM  

LonMead: rockymountainrider: frak it.  More Charisma Carpenter this time!

What about right now?
[d1fgn7wex1bhjn.cloudfront.net image 560x416]
[d1fgn7wex1bhjn.cloudfront.net image 560x363]
[fcbahistory.pbworks.com image 303x645]

nom...


You're doing the lord's work, my friend.
 
2013-08-20 03:18:14 PM  

boonfarker: LonMead: rockymountainrider: frak it.  More Charisma Carpenter this time!

What about right now?
[d1fgn7wex1bhjn.cloudfront.net image 560x416]
[d1fgn7wex1bhjn.cloudfront.net image 560x363]
[fcbahistory.pbworks.com image 303x645]

nom...

You're doing the lord's work, my friend.


amen
 
2013-08-20 03:29:37 PM  

rockymountainrider: boonfarker: LonMead: rockymountainrider: frak it.  More Charisma Carpenter this time!

What about right now?
[d1fgn7wex1bhjn.cloudfront.net image 560x416]
[d1fgn7wex1bhjn.cloudfront.net image 560x363]
[fcbahistory.pbworks.com image 303x645]

nom...

You're doing the lord's work, my friend.

amen


And just because. Charisma Carpenter's Playboy pics. NSFW obviously. Sorry it goes to Egotastic, that's the first site I found that had all the pics in one spot.

/Dat Ass, Dem Titties, and I even love those dark areolae.
 
2013-08-20 04:34:42 PM  
An intelligible plot would be an insult to this franchise.  Their last villain was actually named VILAIN.
 
2013-08-20 05:55:22 PM  

Dingleberry Dickwad: rockymountainrider: boonfarker: LonMead: rockymountainrider: frak it.  More Charisma Carpenter this time!

What about right now?
[d1fgn7wex1bhjn.cloudfront.net image 560x416]
[d1fgn7wex1bhjn.cloudfront.net image 560x363]
[fcbahistory.pbworks.com image 303x645]

nom...

You're doing the lord's work, my friend.

amen

And just because. Charisma Carpenter's Playboy pics. NSFW obviously. Sorry it goes to Egotastic, that's the first site I found that had all the pics in one spot.

/Dat Ass, Dem Titties, and I even love those dark areolae.


I'm not normally into the latter but they look really good in these pics.

/not a bookmark
//honestly, not a bookmark
 
2013-08-20 07:51:15 PM  
I'll be seeing this just for Wesley Snipes alone.

/always bet on black.
 
2013-08-20 09:20:58 PM  

Jim from Saint Paul: Infernalist: They need to have a scene where they go to recruit Clint Eastwood and he scares them off with just a scowl.

Pretty sure he'd just shoot Jet Li.


Uh, that was a different white action star, and a different asian.

A REALLY different asian.

As for expendables: it's just a series of stunt-shots lined up for fun, the plot is bare bones enough to move them from one to the other. There's no intention or design to do anything else.

Yes, it's stupid. Yes, it's over the top. It's supposed to be. It's a bunch of action stars getting together to do action scenes, not a Shakespearean re-enactment troupe. People go to see the set pieces executed, not much more.

Though there weren't tits in the second one, were there? There was the asian chick, but no nudity? Also, does nexflix have the PG rated version or something? I watched it with the family a few weeks ago and it was missing scenes I remembered from the theatre.
 
2013-08-20 09:22:02 PM  

FullMetalPanda: They need Danny Glover to be his evil partner, or he could reprise his role as that serial killer guy


That would be awesome.
 
2013-08-20 09:24:22 PM  

Infernalist: They need to have a scene where they go to recruit Clint Eastwood and he scares them off with just a scowl.


That too would be awesome.
 
2013-08-20 09:25:03 PM  

FullMetalPanda: They need Danny Glover to be his evil partner, or he could reprise his role as that serial killer guy


No way, he's getting too old for this shiat.
 
2013-08-20 09:33:15 PM  

YodaBlues: FullMetalPanda: They need Danny Glover to be his evil partner, or he could reprise his role as that serial killer guy

No way, he's getting too old for this shiat.


That was 26 years ago.
 
2013-08-21 01:12:47 AM  
I hope they have something, they've already started filming in Bulgaria.
 
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