Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Alaska Dispatch News)   Bill O'Reilly vacations in Alaska. And then has to ruin it all by trying to psychoanalyze everything. "This is America the way it used to be"   ( adn.com) divider line
    More: Silly, Bill O'Reilly, Alaskans, Fox News  
•       •       •

4556 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Aug 2013 at 10:29 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-08-20 08:54:00 AM  
46 votes:
It's absolutely true. Everyone in Alaska is content to be snowed in for months at a time with no modern conveniences such as electricity, running water, or the Internet. They live off the fat of the land, hunting moose with black powder rifles and ice fishing. They bury their meat in the ground and smoke it that way. They go on long walks into the wilderness with only bags of rice and a knife to survive, and some of them never come back, and they simply nod at that and explain that "this is Alaska." They share their wives with strangers and when someone grows too ill to survive another winter, he does not complain or whimper about "universal health care;" no, he merely finds an ice floe and sits down upon it and faces west so that he can witness one last sunset, one last beacon of God's creation, before allowing himself to slip silently beneath the waves. Capitalism for an Alaskan consists of bartering bits of bone, wild nuts, and salmon for what necessities he cannot make on his own. They are like Canadians, in some ways, except of course Alaskans cherish freedom and liberty above all things, even life, while Canadians do not. For it is true that long ago God crafted a mold from which he fashioned the earliest pioneers, those rugged individuals who wrenched America from the vast and empty wilderness. When the job was done, God cast that mold aside, into a land where only the strongest and most able could survive. That land was Alaska, and the mold lies there still.
2013-08-20 08:50:47 AM  
13 votes:
"This is America the way it used to be"

No wifi and addicted to meth.
2013-08-20 10:39:13 AM  
8 votes:
"This is America the way it used to be"

About 10 degrees cooler?
2013-08-20 12:33:34 PM  
4 votes:
img.photobucket.comView Full Size


img.photobucket.comView Full Size


i.imgur.comView Full Size


i.imgur.comView Full Size


/it's the internet, no way it's obscure
2013-08-20 10:38:30 AM  
4 votes:
The sun doesn't set all summer long ... you can't explain that!
2013-08-20 10:34:30 AM  
4 votes:
I presume he flew up there. I hope he draws some inspiration from Ted Stevens.
2013-08-20 09:03:48 AM  
4 votes:
Then the White Man screwed it all up.
2013-08-20 10:35:15 AM  
3 votes:
Sarah Palin still isn't going to sleep with you, Billo.
2013-08-20 10:31:45 AM  
3 votes:
The America where everyone gets yearly checks from oil companies?

Bill O'Reilly loves socialism!!!
2013-08-20 09:03:43 AM  
3 votes:
Alaska! Where you can't be too fat or too drunk. Where no one says things like "Let's see your high school equivalency certificate."
2013-08-21 01:39:27 AM  
2 votes:
O'Rly: "This is the way America used to be."

A vast arctic region, covered with ice?

i.ytimg.comView Full Size
2013-08-20 11:07:02 AM  
2 votes:
I'm starting to realize how much of the conservative ideology is based on bad nostalgia.
2013-08-20 11:06:56 AM  
2 votes:
It costs so much to transport everything that it's ridiculously expensive? Or does he mean a mostly empty wilderness?
2013-08-20 10:45:18 AM  
2 votes:

Lost Thought 00: Unless he's vacationing in the interior, he's never actually seen what Alaska is like.


You think Palin used that pick-up line with McCain or Roger Ailes?
2013-08-20 10:43:01 AM  
2 votes:
mediadisruptus.comView Full Size


Alaska? Do it Live Bill, do it live...
2013-08-20 10:35:26 AM  
2 votes:

Pocket Ninja: Capitalism for an Alaskan consists of bartering bits of bone, wild nuts, and salmon for what necessities he cannot make on his own.


When I was a kid, you  could buy a woman for a packet of sewing needles up there.
2013-08-20 09:38:05 AM  
2 votes:
I understand Alaskans are pretty busy, fighting grizzly bears and what-not. But would it kill them to send a thank you letter every once in a while for all the federal aid we give? Even a text message would do.
2013-08-20 09:26:34 AM  
2 votes:
Somehow, I doubt the looks of the Best Buy parking lot on the day PFD checks come out would fit neatly into O'Reilly's character profile of Joe Alaska.

PFD doesn't count as welfare though because the people of Alaska are more...uhh...umm...

Can someone dog whistle this one out for me?
2013-08-20 04:50:51 PM  
1 vote:
i42.tinypic.comView Full Size
2013-08-20 04:24:59 PM  
1 vote:

Skyd1v: I agree with you 100%  I mean, just look at this picture I took off the back deck of the hunting cabin last weekend.


Wow, trees AND water?   AND you get to stalk animals with firearms?  Wow, that sure sounds swell!
2013-08-20 03:36:24 PM  
1 vote:

heavymetal: Yeah, that's like me making statements about all of New York City based on my stay in Manhattan during New Years once.


Except there is tons of shiat to see in NYC.   Once you have seen a tree, a bear, a fish, a meth addict, and a drunk eskimo you can pretty much describe anywhere in that shiathole of a state with a pretty precise degree of accuracy. 

The only good thing about Alaska is some little shiathole cabin masquerading as a hotel in ninilchik (iirc) with a big sign that says "Enjoy nice modern hotel" - that made me laugh a bit before I went back to looking for ways to kill myself so as not to spend any more time in Alaska.
2013-08-20 12:54:54 PM  
1 vote:
Does he mean "Mostly natives and a few crazy whites"?
2013-08-20 12:29:01 PM  
1 vote:
I'd like to see the million dollar resort he's vacationing at while declaring Alaskans are independent self starters.
2013-08-20 11:49:01 AM  
1 vote:
i wonder if PocketNinja thinks people who kiss his ass are massive losers, or loves it so much he has a little secret feel around his pants each time
2013-08-20 11:35:49 AM  
1 vote:

Pocket Ninja: It's absolutely true. Everyone in Alaska is content to be snowed in for months at a time with no modern conveniences such as electricity, running water, or the Internet. They live off the fat of the land, hunting moose with black powder rifles and ice fishing. They bury their meat in the ground and smoke it that way. They go on long walks into the wilderness with only bags of rice and a knife to survive, and some of them never come back, and they simply nod at that and explain that "this is Alaska." They share their wives with strangers and when someone grows too ill to survive another winter, he does not complain or whimper about "universal health care;" no, he merely finds an ice floe and sits down upon it and faces west so that he can witness one last sunset, one last beacon of God's creation, before allowing himself to slip silently beneath the waves. Capitalism for an Alaskan consists of bartering bits of bone, wild nuts, and salmon for what necessities he cannot make on his own. They are like Canadians, in some ways, except of course Alaskans cherish freedom and liberty above all things, even life, while Canadians do not. For it is true that long ago God crafted a mold from which he fashioned the earliest pioneers, those rugged individuals who wrenched America from the vast and empty wilderness. When the job was done, God cast that mold aside, into a land where only the strongest and most able could survive. That land was Alaska, and the mold lies there still.


You, sir, are welcome to my wife. She has all her teeth and can cook a mean fish.
2013-08-20 11:22:29 AM  
1 vote:
This is America the way it used to be?

Dumb enough to vote Republican reliably?
2013-08-20 11:18:58 AM  
1 vote:

kid_icarus: TFA (the parts that weren't quotes from Reilly)  sounds like Alaskans are getting tired of right wing media personalities making them look bad.


How do those Alaskans vote, again? Ted Stevens? Murkowski? Governor Palin?

In the words of Gypsy, "This is YOUR dishwashing liquid, YOU soak in it!"
d23 [BareFark]
2013-08-20 11:17:02 AM  
1 vote:

Headso: Little known fact: In America we all used to get checks each year based on the amount of resources extracted from the ground.


O Really?

struckbyenlightning.files.wordpress.comView Full Size
2013-08-20 11:08:29 AM  
1 vote:
Bill likes his wilderness like he likes his cities

Uneducated
Racist
Sexist
Homophobic
Antisemitic
People in constant fear of their own shadow
Trigger happy

 Just like the good lawrd intended..
2013-08-20 11:07:30 AM  
1 vote:

Corvus: HeadLever: vudukungfu: Populated by mostly Natives?

Alaska does have by far the highest population of Native Americans at about 16 to 17 percent.  That is another large federal obligation on top of everythign else.

So they depend on government handouts? I've been told those on the right government hand outs makes you dependent on government, why would you want that states to be that?

Why shouldn't they be bootstrapy and be able to provide to their own populations by themselves?


What is your point?
2013-08-20 10:33:26 AM  
1 vote:

Radak: This is Russia the way it used to be?


Yes, because of how light works, what you see when you look towards Russia from your back yard actually has a slight time delay.  You are seeing Russia's history play out right before your eyes.
2013-08-20 10:32:44 AM  
1 vote:
So...he's saying everyone in the U.S. should receive a check from the government annually to pay us each our fair share of the mineral resources extracted from the land?

OK.
2013-08-20 10:31:46 AM  
1 vote:
Populated by mostly Natives?
2013-08-20 09:57:40 AM  
1 vote:
This is Russia the way it used to be?
2013-08-20 09:05:01 AM  
1 vote:

Pocket Ninja: It's absolutely true. Everyone in Alaska is content to be snowed in for months at a time with no modern conveniences such as electricity, running water, or the Internet. They live off the fat of the land, hunting moose with black powder rifles and ice fishing. They bury their meat in the ground and smoke it that way. They go on long walks into the wilderness with only bags of rice and a knife to survive, and some of them never come back, and they simply nod at that and explain that "this is Alaska." They share their wives with strangers and when someone grows too ill to survive another winter, he does not complain or whimper about "universal health care;" no, he merely finds an ice floe and sits down upon it and faces west so that he can witness one last sunset, one last beacon of God's creation, before allowing himself to slip silently beneath the waves. Capitalism for an Alaskan consists of bartering bits of bone, wild nuts, and salmon for what necessities he cannot make on his own. They are like Canadians, in some ways, except of course Alaskans cherish freedom and liberty above all things, even life, while Canadians do not. For it is true that long ago God crafted a mold from which he fashioned the earliest pioneers, those rugged individuals who wrenched America from the vast and empty wilderness. When the job was done, God cast that mold aside, into a land where only the strongest and most able could survive. That land was Alaska, and the mold lies there still.


PocketNinja is on fire this morning. 10/10, thank you, good night.
 
Displayed 35 of 35 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter





Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report