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(Anchorage Daily News)   Bill O'Reilly vacations in Alaska. And then has to ruin it all by trying to psychoanalyze everything. "This is America the way it used to be"   (adn.com) divider line 251
    More: Silly, Bill O'Reilly, Alaskans, Fox News  
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4506 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Aug 2013 at 10:29 AM (49 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-08-20 08:50:47 AM
"This is America the way it used to be"

No wifi and addicted to meth.
 
2013-08-20 08:54:00 AM
It's absolutely true. Everyone in Alaska is content to be snowed in for months at a time with no modern conveniences such as electricity, running water, or the Internet. They live off the fat of the land, hunting moose with black powder rifles and ice fishing. They bury their meat in the ground and smoke it that way. They go on long walks into the wilderness with only bags of rice and a knife to survive, and some of them never come back, and they simply nod at that and explain that "this is Alaska." They share their wives with strangers and when someone grows too ill to survive another winter, he does not complain or whimper about "universal health care;" no, he merely finds an ice floe and sits down upon it and faces west so that he can witness one last sunset, one last beacon of God's creation, before allowing himself to slip silently beneath the waves. Capitalism for an Alaskan consists of bartering bits of bone, wild nuts, and salmon for what necessities he cannot make on his own. They are like Canadians, in some ways, except of course Alaskans cherish freedom and liberty above all things, even life, while Canadians do not. For it is true that long ago God crafted a mold from which he fashioned the earliest pioneers, those rugged individuals who wrenched America from the vast and empty wilderness. When the job was done, God cast that mold aside, into a land where only the strongest and most able could survive. That land was Alaska, and the mold lies there still.
 
2013-08-20 09:03:43 AM
Alaska! Where you can't be too fat or too drunk. Where no one says things like "Let's see your high school equivalency certificate."
 
2013-08-20 09:03:48 AM
Then the White Man screwed it all up.
 
2013-08-20 09:05:01 AM

Pocket Ninja: It's absolutely true. Everyone in Alaska is content to be snowed in for months at a time with no modern conveniences such as electricity, running water, or the Internet. They live off the fat of the land, hunting moose with black powder rifles and ice fishing. They bury their meat in the ground and smoke it that way. They go on long walks into the wilderness with only bags of rice and a knife to survive, and some of them never come back, and they simply nod at that and explain that "this is Alaska." They share their wives with strangers and when someone grows too ill to survive another winter, he does not complain or whimper about "universal health care;" no, he merely finds an ice floe and sits down upon it and faces west so that he can witness one last sunset, one last beacon of God's creation, before allowing himself to slip silently beneath the waves. Capitalism for an Alaskan consists of bartering bits of bone, wild nuts, and salmon for what necessities he cannot make on his own. They are like Canadians, in some ways, except of course Alaskans cherish freedom and liberty above all things, even life, while Canadians do not. For it is true that long ago God crafted a mold from which he fashioned the earliest pioneers, those rugged individuals who wrenched America from the vast and empty wilderness. When the job was done, God cast that mold aside, into a land where only the strongest and most able could survive. That land was Alaska, and the mold lies there still.


PocketNinja is on fire this morning. 10/10, thank you, good night.
 
2013-08-20 09:26:34 AM
Somehow, I doubt the looks of the Best Buy parking lot on the day PFD checks come out would fit neatly into O'Reilly's character profile of Joe Alaska.

PFD doesn't count as welfare though because the people of Alaska are more...uhh...umm...

Can someone dog whistle this one out for me?
 
2013-08-20 09:31:44 AM

sigdiamond2000: Can someone dog whistle this one out for me?


Alaska is exceptional in that it has exceptional mineral resources, and thus proves American Exceptionalism.  PFD is just the fruits of Alaskans being excellent.
 
2013-08-20 09:38:05 AM
I understand Alaskans are pretty busy, fighting grizzly bears and what-not. But would it kill them to send a thank you letter every once in a while for all the federal aid we give? Even a text message would do.
 
2013-08-20 09:47:38 AM

vernonFL: "This is America the way it used to be"

No wifi and addicted to meth.


And socialist.
 
2013-08-20 09:57:40 AM
This is Russia the way it used to be?
 
2013-08-20 10:05:19 AM
I prefer my America without the run down trailer parks, disenfranchised native population and meth heads?
 
2013-08-20 10:31:45 AM
The America where everyone gets yearly checks from oil companies?

Bill O'Reilly loves socialism!!!
 
2013-08-20 10:31:46 AM
Populated by mostly Natives?
 
2013-08-20 10:32:12 AM

bdub77: PocketNinja is on fire this morning. 10/10, thank you, good night.

 
2013-08-20 10:32:44 AM
So...he's saying everyone in the U.S. should receive a check from the government annually to pay us each our fair share of the mineral resources extracted from the land?

OK.
 
2013-08-20 10:33:26 AM

Radak: This is Russia the way it used to be?


Yes, because of how light works, what you see when you look towards Russia from your back yard actually has a slight time delay.  You are seeing Russia's history play out right before your eyes.
 
2013-08-20 10:33:35 AM
Lots and lots of sex with moose? But not gay moose, because that would be disgusting.
 
2013-08-20 10:34:09 AM
I don't think Billo's ancestors fresh off the boat from County Cavan saw much in the way of Alaskan-style wilderness in northern New Jersey.
 
2013-08-20 10:34:22 AM
But the US Mail still brings them their checks from Uncle Sugar; Social Security, military and government retirement, Medicare, Medicaid, WIC, food stamps.

And none of that stupid living with other people to mess with.
Messy humans, always needing something.
 
2013-08-20 10:34:30 AM
I presume he flew up there. I hope he draws some inspiration from Ted Stevens.
 
2013-08-20 10:34:32 AM
People like him are incapable of seeing anything without putting it through their preconception filter.
 
2013-08-20 10:35:15 AM
Sarah Palin still isn't going to sleep with you, Billo.
 
2013-08-20 10:35:26 AM

Pocket Ninja: Capitalism for an Alaskan consists of bartering bits of bone, wild nuts, and salmon for what necessities he cannot make on his own.


When I was a kid, you  could buy a woman for a packet of sewing needles up there.
 
2013-08-20 10:35:35 AM

theorellior: I don't think Billo's ancestors fresh off the boat from County Cavan saw much in the way of Alaskan-style wilderness in northern New Jersey.


Billo wouldn't have let filthy immigrants like his ancestors into these glorious United States.
 
d23 [TotalFark]
2013-08-20 10:35:41 AM
Why doesn't he go to somalia?  That's the REAL land before the evil gubbmint.
 
2013-08-20 10:36:18 AM
O'Reilly vacations in reliably red state; is reliably red.
 
2013-08-20 10:36:20 AM
ioneglobalgrind.files.wordpress.com
Bill O or Eric Von Zipper, you decide.
 
2013-08-20 10:36:59 AM

Peter von Nostrand: I prefer my America without the run down trailer parks, disenfranchised native population and meth heads?


Were you not informed that the South has made plans to rise again?
 
2013-08-20 10:37:13 AM

vudukungfu: When I was a kid, you could buy a woman for a packet of sewing needles up there.


Well, duh, what use is a woman without sewing needles?
 
2013-08-20 10:37:35 AM
Now you know how the Native Americans felt, assbag.

Except that rich white people aren't being systematically slaughtered.
 
2013-08-20 10:37:40 AM

sigdiamond2000: Somehow, I doubt the looks of the Best Buy parking lot on the day PFD checks come out would fit neatly into O'Reilly's character profile of Joe Alaska.

PFD doesn't count as welfare though because the people of Alaska are more JESUS.uhh...umm...

Can someone dog whistle this one out for me?



there ya go
 
2013-08-20 10:38:09 AM

bdub77: Pocket Ninja: It's absolutely true. Everyone in Alaska is content to be snowed in for months at a time with no modern conveniences such as electricity, running water, or the Internet. They live off the fat of the land, hunting moose with black powder rifles and ice fishing. They bury their meat in the ground and smoke it that way. They go on long walks into the wilderness with only bags of rice and a knife to survive, and some of them never come back, and they simply nod at that and explain that "this is Alaska." They share their wives with strangers and when someone grows too ill to survive another winter, he does not complain or whimper about "universal health care;" no, he merely finds an ice floe and sits down upon it and faces west so that he can witness one last sunset, one last beacon of God's creation, before allowing himself to slip silently beneath the waves. Capitalism for an Alaskan consists of bartering bits of bone, wild nuts, and salmon for what necessities he cannot make on his own. They are like Canadians, in some ways, except of course Alaskans cherish freedom and liberty above all things, even life, while Canadians do not. For it is true that long ago God crafted a mold from which he fashioned the earliest pioneers, those rugged individuals who wrenched America from the vast and empty wilderness. When the job was done, God cast that mold aside, into a land where only the strongest and most able could survive. That land was Alaska, and the mold lies there still.

PocketNinja is on fire this morning. 10/10, thank you, good night.


Damn it's dusty in here.
 
2013-08-20 10:38:30 AM
The sun doesn't set all summer long ... you can't explain that!
 
2013-08-20 10:38:50 AM
i came by the read the post .. i am not psychoanalyzing anybody.
 
2013-08-20 10:39:13 AM
"This is America the way it used to be"

About 10 degrees cooler?
 
2013-08-20 10:39:25 AM
Hey, not all of us are meth heads.

/but we do like our beer
 
2013-08-20 10:39:44 AM

Pocket Ninja: That land was Alaska, and the mold lies there still.


0-media-cdn.foolz.us

But only because there was no more to read. Bravo! You are killing it today!
 
2013-08-20 10:40:21 AM

sigdiamond2000: Somehow, I doubt the looks of the Best Buy parking lot on the day PFD checks come out would fit neatly into O'Reilly's character profile of Joe Alaska.

PFD doesn't count as welfare though because the people of Alaska are more...uhh...umm...

Can someone dog whistle this one out for me?


Rural
 
2013-08-20 10:40:53 AM

Pants full of macaroni!!: Sarah Palin still isn't going to sleep with you, Billo.


Sure she would. How do you think she achieved her success in politics in the first place? Sure wasn't using her mouth for talking.
 
2013-08-20 10:41:50 AM
Alaska is great. There's so much open space, beautiful terrain, and amazing wildlife that one can easily spend a day away from another human and explore. Its not hard to find an empty stream to fish, or lazily kayak a bay to observe whales and seals, or spent a day hiking up a mountain. I miss it every once in a while when I'm dealing with annoying panhandlers, busy crowds of assholes, and the overarching smell of urine here in Chicago.
 
2013-08-20 10:41:55 AM

Dahnkster: [ioneglobalgrind.files.wordpress.com image 370x490]
Bill O or Eric Von Zipper, you decide.


He kinda looks like Colin from "Whose Line Is It Anyway" having a very angry stroke.
 
2013-08-20 10:42:32 AM
Days of neverending darkness?
 
2013-08-20 10:42:53 AM

Jackson Herring: sigdiamond2000: Somehow, I doubt the looks of the Best Buy parking lot on the day PFD checks come out would fit neatly into O'Reilly's character profile of Joe Alaska.

PFD doesn't count as welfare though because the people of Alaska are more...uhh...umm...

Can someone dog whistle this one out for me?

Rural


Perfect. Let's go with that.
 
2013-08-20 10:43:01 AM
mediadisruptus.com

Alaska? Do it Live Bill, do it live...
 
2013-08-20 10:43:11 AM

rumpelstiltskin: But would it kill them to send a thank you letter every once in a while for all the federal aid we give? Even a text message would do.


Since the amount of federally owned land in Alaska is about 150% the size of Texas, I think that they really don't owe anyone much of anything. Add that in to the amount of millitary bases, other govermental obligation and thenrealize that the size of the population up there is tiny and it is not hard to figure out why dollars fly up there and trickle back.
 
2013-08-20 10:43:31 AM

sigdiamond2000: Somehow, I doubt the looks of the Best Buy parking lot on the day PFD checks come out would fit neatly into O'Reilly's character profile of Joe Alaska.

PFD doesn't count as welfare though because the people of Alaska are more...uhh...umm...

Can someone dog whistle this one out for me?


Alaska sucks so hard they have to pay people to live there?
 
2013-08-20 10:43:58 AM
if i want to know what alaskans are like i'll just watch a few episodes of northern exposure
 
2013-08-20 10:44:09 AM
Unless he's vacationing in the interior, he's never actually seen what Alaska is like.
 
2013-08-20 10:44:36 AM

The Dog Ate My Homework: So...he's saying everyone in the U.S. should receive a check from the government annually to pay us each our fair share of the mineral resources extracted from the land?

OK.


Speaking as a resident of a region currently being raped for marcellus shale gas extraction, I am definitely okay with this.
 
2013-08-20 10:44:58 AM
Little known fact: In America we all used to get checks each year based on the amount of resources extracted from the ground.
 
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