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(Metro)   Sex play, penis, fork. One of these doesn't belong   (metro.co.uk) divider line 121
    More: Dumbass  
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5069 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Aug 2013 at 11:37 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



121 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-08-19 11:16:11 AM
Certainly takes "Stick a fork in it, it's done" to a whole new level.
 
2013-08-19 11:17:19 AM
i249.photobucket.com
 
2013-08-19 11:20:12 AM
www.reactiongifs.com
 
2013-08-19 11:22:15 AM
Regular fork, or salad fork? This is important.
 
2013-08-19 11:38:35 AM

bearded clamorer: Regular fork, or salad fork? This is important.


Pitchfork.
 
2013-08-19 11:38:52 AM
img.photobucket.com
 
2013-08-19 11:39:46 AM
img.photobucket.com
 
2013-08-19 11:40:47 AM
SUBBY!

(And whoever greenlighted this.....)

24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-08-19 11:42:54 AM
Hey, Subby, don't be a prude. You know that isn't true.

I've read a bit of the Marquis de Sade's 120 Days of Sodom and Gomorrah, and dammit, I don't think there is anything true you can say in general about sex except that pornography works by being very boring and dragging things out unnecessarily.

Really, if you were not familiar with pornography, you'd be surprised how dull, tedious and predictable it is.
 
2013-08-19 11:43:16 AM
Fork you subby!
 
2013-08-19 11:43:22 AM
I did not need to see that.
 
2013-08-19 11:43:34 AM
You're doing it wrong Lorena.
 
2013-08-19 11:43:36 AM
Says you. I mean really after you turn 30 vanilla sex is just so boring, you really gotta keep one upping the play. First you start with a little bondage, maybe a blindfold, then some light spanking, on to anal play, maybe some outdoor sex or a little animal fetish play and the next thing you know you are onto sharps and jabbing 6 inch stainless steel nails through your penis.
 
2013-08-19 11:44:16 AM
How can stabbing one's...

Autoerotic stimulation with the aid of self-inserted urethral foreign bodies

Wait, what? He stuck the whole thing up his peehole??


/crossed legs reaching pretzel status
 
2013-08-19 11:44:29 AM
Fork the forking forker!
 
2013-08-19 11:44:54 AM
31.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-08-19 11:45:29 AM
UUFO: Unidentified Urethral Foreign Object


/It's a street light
 
2013-08-19 11:45:55 AM
assets.nydailynews.com
 
2013-08-19 11:46:22 AM
The answer is different for guys and lesbians.
 
2013-08-19 11:46:26 AM
Hey, now, forks can be well used in sex play. Just not like that.
 
2013-08-19 11:46:33 AM
www.reactiongifs.com
 
2013-08-19 11:46:46 AM

gweilo8888: bearded clamorer: Regular fork, or salad fork? This is important.

Pitchfork.


katesrealfood.com

"I was a dick ingesting Pitchforks before it was cool.  Now I'm on to fondue forks, that's where the scene is, but it's like whatever, you can do what you want, I wont judge you *silently judges you*."
 
2013-08-19 11:49:02 AM
rack.1.mshcdn.com
 
2013-08-19 11:50:01 AM

gerbilpox: How can stabbing one's...

Autoerotic stimulation with the aid of self-inserted urethral foreign bodies

Wait, what? He stuck the whole thing up his peehole??


I've heard of this practice before, but with something as big as a fork?

/I blame Nyaruko
 
2013-08-19 11:51:54 AM
i.chzbgr.com
 
2013-08-19 11:52:20 AM
What a rube.  Any sophisticated gent knows that forks belong in the anus, spoons in the ball sac, while the penis is the proper place for knives.
 
2013-08-19 11:52:48 AM
After two cystoscopes with ureteral stents this year I can safely say I never ever  ever EVERwant an object inserted into my urethra ever again. Nope!
 
2013-08-19 11:53:24 AM
They eventually managed to retrieve the object after using a large amount of lubrication and forceps, while the man was given a general anaesthetic.

Well, I would certainly hope an anesthetic was involved.
 
2013-08-19 11:53:58 AM
metrouk2.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-08-19 11:55:30 AM
True story, I dated a nurse who showed me a photo of an X-ray of a penis with a pencil stub in it. The pencil was canted so it was at about a 45 degree angle inside the penis. It seems the guy had been catheterized and liked it, liked it a lot. He put the pencil stub in so he could walk around with it inside all the time. Evidently he wasn't very skillful at it. The memory of that X-Ray can still curl me up in a fetal position.
She was pretty and fun but her sense of humor was a bit dark.
 
2013-08-19 11:55:38 AM
Initiation for the PEN 15 club.
 
2013-08-19 11:56:04 AM

hammettman: What a rube.  Any sophisticated gent knows that forks belong in the anus, spoons in the ball sac, while the penis is the proper place for knives.


We all know that. The real question is do you start eating your appetizer with the fork nearest the center of the anus, or the one farthest from the center?
 
2013-08-19 11:56:44 AM
replygif.net
 
2013-08-19 11:57:39 AM
Only 4 inches, eh?

=Smidge=
 
2013-08-19 11:59:42 AM
I bet that's the last tine he does that.
 
2013-08-19 12:02:18 PM
Saint Gut Free is really kicking it up a notch these days.
 
2013-08-19 12:02:20 PM
mhfilms.img.jugem.jp
 
2013-08-19 12:03:34 PM
img.fark.net
 
2013-08-19 12:03:53 PM
x.vukajlija.com
 
2013-08-19 12:07:00 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-08-19 12:10:19 PM
apparently I missed a meeting of the internet counsel where "do not want" became "nope".
 
2013-08-19 12:10:48 PM
error1355.com
 
2013-08-19 12:11:08 PM

brandent: apparently I missed a meeting of the internet counsel where "do not want" became "nope".


Council.  Maybe the council had to get counseling.
 
2013-08-19 12:11:46 PM
media.tumblr.com
 
2013-08-19 12:12:19 PM
24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-08-19 12:15:16 PM
img.4plebs.org
 
2013-08-19 12:16:19 PM
plopper.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-08-19 12:16:33 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-08-19 12:27:22 PM
24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-08-19 12:36:00 PM
Thanks for all the Nope gifs.  Haven't laughed this hard in a thread in forever.
 
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