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(Telegraph)   Amanda Seyfried likes porn. Now that everyone else has clicked the link, listen up: we attack tonight. Be ready. The code phrase is, "John has a long mustache"   (telegraph.co.uk) divider line 120
    More: Spiffy, Amanda Seyfried, Mamma Mia!, Gwyneth Paltrow, steak sandwiches  
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8319 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 19 Aug 2013 at 12:38 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



120 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2013-08-19 10:58:27 AM  
This isn't exactly a story that fits the "you clicked the link" meme
 
2013-08-19 11:01:37 AM  
Do you think it's a coincidence that she's in a movie about porn? Probably, right?
 
2013-08-19 11:47:38 AM  
The chair is against the wall.
 
2013-08-19 12:05:02 PM  
I would disappoint her so hard the resultant psychological trauma would create a quantum singularity
 
2013-08-19 12:07:28 PM  
Spoiled brat attention whore is a spoiled brat attention whore.

Now hurry up, Subby and AVENGE ME! AVENGE ME, BOY!!
 
2013-08-19 12:40:24 PM  

DanZero: This isn't exactly a story that fits the "you clicked the link" meme


Amanda Seyfried is a human? Shocking!
 
2013-08-19 12:48:21 PM  
All that porn is gonna burn you up, kid.
 
2013-08-19 12:57:47 PM  
She specifically likes porn produced by a women in a San Francisco studio.  So farking what.  I'd like porn specifically produced in my livingroom with Rachel McAdams and Lacey Chabert doing unprintable things with me.  Where's my article?  Huh?
 
2013-08-19 01:00:41 PM  

Zombie DJ: Spoiled brat attention whore is a spoiled brat attention whore.

Now hurry up, Subby and AVENGE ME! AVENGE ME, BOY!!


WOLVERIN... oh wait, I think I'd rather live under Soviet Occupation, actually. Socialized healthcare and no teh gayz.
 
2013-08-19 01:01:21 PM  
 
2013-08-19 01:01:42 PM  

NuttierThanEver: I would disappoint her so hard the resultant psychological trauma would create a quantum singularity


Oh Yeah... one night with me and she would never want to have sex EVER again. That's how much I would disappoint her. Either that, or I would ruin her for every man to follow.
 
2013-08-19 01:05:03 PM  
The dice are on the table.
 
2013-08-19 01:05:17 PM  
She's ugly enough to need porn.
 
2013-08-19 01:06:51 PM  

HotIgneous Intruder: She's ugly enough to need porn.


It looked hot enough while making out with Julianne Moore, i'll tell ya that.
 
2013-08-19 01:08:32 PM  
Kink.com's offerings are a really interesting citation for positive porn.. It is upbeat and positive, yes, but it's also S&M dungeon porn. They record the models after the pornographic portion of the movie talking about what they enjoyed about the experience and intellectually I can understand that yes, some people like that stuff, but it's actively unpleasant to me and it's one of the few types of porn I absolutely can't stand to watch.

High quality, positive and couple friendly porn:
NubileFilms and X-Art both make amazingly well-produced vanilla mainstream  porn. No spitting, no gaping orifices. No super-ugly dudes. No unnatural porn chicks.

Girlfriends Films, Filly Films and Sweetheart video all make excellent mainstream girl/girl stuff with porn chicks. A *LOT* of women who don't like straight M/F porn are actually pretty OK with this stuff. There's a different set of actual lesbian-porn-for-lesbians (movies featuring Jiz Lee are usually a good place to start) but in the great porn Venn diagram those movies are outside what most people see when they think "lesbian pornography."
 
2013-08-19 01:08:41 PM  

Jim from Saint Paul: HotIgneous Intruder: She's ugly enough to need porn.

It looked hot enough while making out with Julianne Moore, i'll tell ya that.


Anyone looks hot next to Julianne Moore.
 
2013-08-19 01:09:32 PM  
Molasses tomorrow will bring forth cognac
 
2013-08-19 01:10:04 PM  

HotIgneous Intruder: She's ugly enough to need porn.


www.wallgc.com
 
2013-08-19 01:11:31 PM  
I didn't even know Jerry Seinfeld had kids.
I knew he dated them. . .
 
2013-08-19 01:14:42 PM  

Brick-House: HotIgneous Intruder: She's ugly enough to need porn.

[www.wallgc.com image 850x478]



Furthermore:

backseatcuddler.com

chicstories.com

The defense rests, m'lord.
 
2013-08-19 01:15:04 PM  

Brick-House: HotIgneous Intruder: She's ugly enough to need porn.

[www.wallgc.com image 850x478]


Whatever dude.  Look how far apart those eyes are.  You'll be in bed with her and you won't be able to get it up.  She'll ask what the problem is.  And you'll only say "alcohol" because you won't have the heart to point out her fetal alcohol syndrome.  That's your passive aggressive little way of dealing with her.  I just don't understand why you don't sleep with hotter actresses.  You're wasting your time with her.
 
2013-08-19 01:19:52 PM  

Brick-House: HotIgneous Intruder: She's ugly enough to need porn.

[www.wallgc.com image 850x478]


I think that pic needs a little more photoshop
 
2013-08-19 01:20:02 PM  
She's got a movie to promote. Next thing we'll hear is that she is also into women - in the sexual kind of sense. Standard Hollywood promotion tactics. Always gets attention.
 
2013-08-19 01:22:05 PM  

Nana's Vibrator: Brick-House: HotIgneous Intruder: She's ugly enough to need porn.

[www.wallgc.com image 850x478]

Whatever dude.  Look how far apart those eyes are.  You'll be in bed with her and you won't be able to get it up.  She'll ask what the problem is.  And you'll only say "alcohol" because you won't have the heart to point out her fetal alcohol syndrome.  That's your passive aggressive little way of dealing with her.  I just don't understand why you don't sleep with hotter actresses.  You're wasting your time with her.


Amanda is a peach. Like when you eat a peach that is so ripe you can push your thumb through the skin. The juice runs down your chin and drips onto your chest, and the place in between your fingers gets so sticky you have trouble separating them. The next day, even after you wash your hands, you can still smell the sweet juice on your skin and, if no one is watching, you lick your fingers and the memory of that sweet fruit on your tongue floods back. Amanda is like that.
 
2013-08-19 01:22:53 PM  

FooDog: She's got a movie to promote. Next thing we'll hear is that she is also into women - in the sexual kind of sense. Standard Hollywood promotion tactics. Always gets attention.


She got munched by Julianne Moore a few films back so that announcement is past due
 
2013-08-19 01:23:39 PM  

monoski: She got munched by Julianne Moore a few films back so that announcement is past due


I've got something past due she could munch on, if ya know what I mean, and I think you do.
 
2013-08-19 01:25:32 PM  

PizzaJedi81: Brick-House: HotIgneous Intruder: She's ugly enough to need porn.

[www.wallgc.com image 850x478]


Furthermore:

[backseatcuddler.com image 460x355]

[chicstories.com image 408x544]

The defense rests, m'lord.


She's the VP of the Butterface club that Scarlet Johannsen is President of.

Would I bang? Of course!

Iffy face is still iffy.
 
2013-08-19 01:26:13 PM  

monoski: She got munched by Julianne Moore a few films back so that announcement is past due


Whaa?  When did this happen?
 
2013-08-19 01:26:29 PM  

PizzaJedi81: Nana's Vibrator: Brick-House: HotIgneous Intruder: She's ugly enough to need porn.

[www.wallgc.com image 850x478]

Whatever dude.  Look how far apart those eyes are.  You'll be in bed with her and you won't be able to get it up.  She'll ask what the problem is.  And you'll only say "alcohol" because you won't have the heart to point out her fetal alcohol syndrome.  That's your passive aggressive little way of dealing with her.  I just don't understand why you don't sleep with hotter actresses.  You're wasting your time with her.

Amanda is a peach. Like when you eat a peach that is so ripe you can push your thumb through the skin. The juice runs down your chin and drips onto your chest, and the place in between your fingers gets so sticky you have trouble separating them. The next day, even after you wash your hands, you can still smell the sweet juice on your skin and, if no one is watching, you lick your fingers and the memory of that sweet fruit on your tongue floods back. Amanda is like that.


Damn!!!

t0.gstatic.com
 
2013-08-19 01:26:47 PM  
Marie's bicycle is broken. Henri has a cold.
 
2013-08-19 01:28:41 PM  

Jim from Saint Paul: She's the VP of the Butterface club that Scarlet Johannsen is President of.


You're clearly unhinged
 
2013-08-19 01:30:40 PM  

likefunbutnot: Kink.com's offerings are a really interesting citation for positive porn.. It is upbeat and positive, yes, but it's also S&M dungeon porn. They record the models after the pornographic portion of the movie talking about what they enjoyed about the experience and intellectually I can understand that yes, some people like that stuff, but it's actively unpleasant to me and it's one of the few types of porn I absolutely can't stand to watch.

High quality, positive and couple friendly porn:
NubileFilms and X-Art both make amazingly well-produced vanilla mainstream  porn. No spitting, no gaping orifices. No super-ugly dudes. No unnatural porn chicks.

Girlfriends Films, Filly Films and Sweetheart video all make excellent mainstream girl/girl stuff with porn chicks. A *LOT* of women who don't like straight M/F porn are actually pretty OK with this stuff. There's a different set of actual lesbian-porn-for-lesbians (movies featuring Jiz Lee are usually a good place to start) but in the great porn Venn diagram those movies are outside what most people see when they think "lesbian pornography."


A gentleman and a scholar.
 
2013-08-19 01:36:03 PM  

likefunbutnot: Kink.com's offerings are a really interesting citation for positive porn.. It is upbeat and positive, yes, but it's also S&M dungeon porn. They record the models after the pornographic portion of the movie talking about what they enjoyed about the experience and intellectually I can understand that yes, some people like that stuff, but it's actively unpleasant to me and it's one of the few types of porn I absolutely can't stand to watch.

High quality, positive and couple friendly porn:
NubileFilms and X-Art both make amazingly well-produced vanilla mainstream  porn. No spitting, no gaping orifices. No super-ugly dudes. No unnatural porn chicks.

Girlfriends Films, Filly Films and Sweetheart video all make excellent mainstream girl/girl stuff with porn chicks. A *LOT* of women who don't like straight M/F porn are actually pretty OK with this stuff. There's a different set of actual lesbian-porn-for-lesbians (movies featuring Jiz Lee are usually a good place to start) but in the great porn Venn diagram those movies are outside what most people see when they think "lesbian pornography."


Do you have a newsletter, or a blog?
 
2013-08-19 01:37:02 PM  

AeAe: monoski: She got munched by Julianne Moore a few films back so that announcement is past due

Whaa?  When did this happen?


The movie's called Chloe.

I can't seem to find the relevant scene at the moment.
 
2013-08-19 01:40:13 PM  

AeAe: Jim from Saint Paul: She's the VP of the Butterface club that Scarlet Johannsen is President of.

You're clearly unhinged


No one can deny those bodies are hot. Have fapped. Will fap again.
 
2013-08-19 01:41:35 PM  
The chocolate moose is not in season.
 
2013-08-19 01:47:26 PM  

likefunbutnot: High quality, positive and couple friendly porn:
NubileFilms and X-Art both make amazingly well-produced vanilla mainstream porn. No spitting, no gaping orifices. No super-ugly dudes. No unnatural porn chicks.


Also, babes.com.  I had a login for a while, and its a site I might actually consider paying for, if I were into that sort of thing.
 
2013-08-19 01:49:45 PM  

Jim from Saint Paul: PizzaJedi81: Brick-House: HotIgneous Intruder: She's ugly enough to need porn.

[www.wallgc.com image 850x478]


Furthermore:

[backseatcuddler.com image 460x355]

[chicstories.com image 408x544]

The defense rests, m'lord.

She's the VP of the Butterface club that Scarlet Johannsen is President of.

Would I bang? Of course!

Iffy face is still iffy.


Is this a new meaning of "butterface" where you want to smear butter on her face and lick it off?

Or is this a different Scarlett Johansson you're talking about, one who spells her name (both first and last) differently than the famous and amazingly attractive actress?
 
2013-08-19 01:50:40 PM  

meanmutton: Is this a new meaning of "butterface" where you want to smear butter on her face and lick it off?


Well, I'd smear something on her face if ya know what I mean, and I think you do.

/either one, really.
 
2013-08-19 01:52:18 PM  
In women's tennis, I always root against the heterosexual.
 
2013-08-19 01:55:05 PM  

Vacation Bible School: In women's tennis, I always root against the heterosexual.


So who DO you root for, then?
 
2013-08-19 01:55:19 PM  

Jim from Saint Paul: She's the VP of the Butterface club that Scarlet Johannsen is President of.


www.unionversity.com
 
2013-08-19 01:56:31 PM  
img.fark.net
cdn03.cdnwp.thefrisky.com

it's the same girl!
 
2013-08-19 01:57:52 PM  

likefunbutnot: They record the models after the pornographic portion of the movie talking about what they enjoyed about the experience...


You want me to listen to an interview with a porn actress AFTER I watched the porno?
 
2013-08-19 02:00:27 PM  

Soup4Bonnie: likefunbutnot: They record the models after the pornographic portion of the movie talking about what they enjoyed about the experience...

You want me to listen to an interview with a porn actress AFTER I watched the porno?


It was like SO big! And it felt like SO good!
 
2013-08-19 02:01:04 PM  

Soup4Bonnie: You want me to listen to an interview with a porn actress AFTER I watched the porno?


Gotta do something while you're waiting to go again.
 
2013-08-19 02:01:44 PM  
The pearl is in the river.
 
2013-08-19 02:02:45 PM  

PizzaJedi81: Gotta do something while you're waiting to go again.


I wash the sock.
 
2013-08-19 02:03:07 PM  

LonMead: The pearl jam is in the river.


If ya, etc...
 
2013-08-19 02:10:19 PM  
Is that the magician queer who got eaten by the tiger?
 
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