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(CBC)   Canadian armed forces testing stealth snowmobile. No, really. Hey, why are you laughing?   (cbc.ca) divider line 119
    More: Obvious, Canadian Armed Forces, Ottawa, Canadians, Arctic, Department of National Defence, clandestine operations, Access to Information Act, call for bids  
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6942 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Aug 2013 at 6:02 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-08-18 02:48:09 PM  
Obviously part of our Government's ongoing efforts to dispel comical stereotypes about Canadians.
 
2013-08-18 02:51:27 PM  
Actually, not a terrible idea. Those things require ear defenders to be around. Imagine a motor bike except with no muffler and an inky black plume of smoke on the pristine winter landscape telling everyone where you are.
 
2013-08-18 02:55:10 PM  

gaslight: Actually, not a terrible idea. Those things require ear defenders to be around. Imagine a motor bike except with no muffler and an inky black plume of smoke on the pristine winter landscape telling everyone where you are.


I think it's a great idea.  I'm sure the US will want them, and then Highroller48 will post how cool it is.
 
2013-08-18 03:15:58 PM  
Don't get me wrong. I don't see it as a necessarily horrible idea. And yes, I can see SEALS using them in some remote place someday.
The problem is, the way our government works, it's very likely that the first use of these operationally will be to go search for a downed 60-year-old Sea King that they still haven't got around to replacing yet.
 
2013-08-18 03:19:49 PM  
i105.photobucket.com
You'd think that among the considerations in developing a stealth vehicle would be "don't paint it bright yellow" and "remove the great big flag."

I guess I just don't understand stealth technology.
 
2013-08-18 03:24:42 PM  

FloydA: You'd think that among the considerations in developing a stealth vehicle would be "don't paint it bright yellow" and "remove the great big flag."

I guess I just don't understand stealth technology.


Thats just a regular snomobile Floyd .
 
2013-08-18 03:38:06 PM  

sithon: FloydA: You'd think that among the considerations in developing a stealth vehicle would be "don't paint it bright yellow" and "remove the great big flag."

I guess I just don't understand stealth technology.

Thats just a regular snomobile Floyd .


That big a Canadian flag...they must be American tourists.
 
2013-08-18 03:40:39 PM  

sithon: FloydA: You'd think that among the considerations in developing a stealth vehicle would be "don't paint it bright yellow" and "remove the great big flag."

I guess I just don't understand stealth technology.

Thats just a regular snomobile Floyd .



Is it?  Oh of course!  Now I understand!  Those Canadians are really clever.

No one would ever expect a stealth snowmobile to be disguised as just a regular snowmobile!  By the time the enemy realize what they're up against and shout out "hey, those are stealth snowmobiles; they're just disguised as regular snowmobiles!" it will be too late.
 
2013-08-18 03:41:34 PM  
Wait, isn't the form factor of a snowmobile so low you wouldn't have to worry about radar anyway? Or are we going to klingon-level snowmobiles?
 
2013-08-18 03:55:58 PM  

Somaticasual: Wait, isn't the form factor of a snowmobile so low you wouldn't have to worry about radar anyway? Or are we going to klingon-level snowmobiles?


WANT.
 
2013-08-18 04:16:44 PM  
You laugh now, but when we invade parts of Montana, North Dakota, Minnesota, and the UP of Michigan and hold them for 3-5 weeks until the snow melts, it won't be nearly as funny.

/ok, it'll still be funny
 
2013-08-18 04:23:04 PM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: Somaticasual: Wait, isn't the form factor of a snowmobile so low you wouldn't have to worry about radar anyway? Or are we going to klingon-level snowmobiles?

WANT.


Second in theory. But I also can't imagine a worse group of people to have something that can turn invisible.. "The great snowmobiler prank wave of 2013 to 2099"..
 
2013-08-18 04:37:16 PM  
Now, more than ever, we need John Candy.
 
2013-08-18 04:39:09 PM  

unyon: You laugh now, but when we invade parts of Montana, North Dakota, Minnesota, and the UP of Michigan and hold them for 3-5 weeks until the snow melts, it won't be nearly as funny.

/ok, it'll still be funny


Only until you try to give them back.  Then you'll find that you've fallen right into our trap and realize you're stuck with the new province of Dumbasskatchewan.  Mua-ha-ha-ha!
 
jbc [TotalFark]
2013-08-18 05:34:23 PM  

FloydA: unyon: You laugh now, but when we invade parts of Montana, North Dakota, Minnesota, and the UP of Michigan and hold them for 3-5 weeks until the snow melts, it won't be nearly as funny.

/ok, it'll still be funny

Only until you try to give them back.  Then you'll find that you've fallen right into our trap and realize you're stuck with the new province of Dumbasskatchewan.  Mua-ha-ha-ha!


And we'll charge one hell of a toll for hosers traveling from Beaver Fart, Manitoba to Elk Spleen, Alberta.
 
2013-08-18 06:06:15 PM  
There are many many things that can be mocked when it comes to canadians, but the CAF are not one of them.
 
2013-08-18 06:07:21 PM  
It is to protect their strategic maple syrup reserves.

\A tactical snow machine sort of makes sense for Canadians, eah?.
 
2013-08-18 06:09:01 PM  
So it has an electric motor, then? I would assume that would minimize that loud noise the typical snowmobile makes.
 
2013-08-18 06:09:59 PM  
If you can't see the necessity of that in a nation with as much snow as ours, you're a fool.

You can hear a snowmobile for miles. A soldier on a silent snowmobile in the dark is a shiatty prospect for any enemy in the snow.
 
2013-08-18 06:10:22 PM  
Sounds like they're testing an electric snowmobile.

It's genuis!  Everyone knows batteries last longer in the freezer!
 
2013-08-18 06:12:03 PM  

Anastacya: So it has an electric motor, then? I would assume that would minimize that loud noise the typical snowmobile makes.


There are a few considerations actually.

Electric motor of course, and a battery that operates well at the expected temperatures. There's also the tracks; snowmobile tracks are usually pretty noisy at speed. Tight tolerances and flexible materials could fix that. All controls would have to be usable in zero-light conditions. Probably more I'm not thinking of.
 
2013-08-18 06:13:01 PM  

Highroller48: sithon: FloydA: You'd think that among the considerations in developing a stealth vehicle would be "don't paint it bright yellow" and "remove the great big flag."

I guess I just don't understand stealth technology.

Thats just a regular snomobile Floyd .

That big a Canadian flag...they must be American tourists.


Polar bears love eating American tourists.
 
2013-08-18 06:13:46 PM  

Tatsuma: There are many many things that can be mocked when it comes to canadians, but the CAF are not one of them.


Yes there are. It's Canadians, not canadians.
 
2013-08-18 06:15:27 PM  

LavenderWolf: If you can't see the necessity of that in a nation with as much snow as ours, you're a fool.

You can hear a snowmobile for miles. A soldier on a silent snowmobile in the dark is a shiatty prospect for any enemy in the snow.


Has Canada been involved in any domestic land wars recently that the rest of us don't know about? Planning a hilarious weekend invasion of Russia?
 
2013-08-18 06:16:17 PM  

Tatsuma: There are many many things that can be mocked when it comes to canadians, but the CAF are not one of them.


That's very persuasive coming from a guy with such extensive experience in the military.
 
2013-08-18 06:16:46 PM  

LoneVVolf: LavenderWolf: If you can't see the necessity of that in a nation with as much snow as ours, you're a fool.

You can hear a snowmobile for miles. A soldier on a silent snowmobile in the dark is a shiatty prospect for any enemy in the snow.

Has Canada been involved in any domestic land wars recently that the rest of us don't know about? Planning a hilarious weekend invasion of Russia?


Why let Finland have all the fun?
 
2013-08-18 06:17:19 PM  
TFA: "transport Canadian Forces throughout the Arctic without being detected "

24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-08-18 06:18:23 PM  
LavenderWolf
If you can't see the necessity of that in a nation with as much snow as ours, you're a fool.
You can hear a snowmobile for miles. A soldier on a silent snowmobile in the dark is a shiatty prospect for any enemy in the snow.


Lighten up a bit. You may be sick of American jokes about Canadians. However quite a few farkers might actually prefer some social directions Canada takes compared to the United States. Even if you are sick of hearing disrespectful maple syrup, backbacon and tim horton references.

And it does make sense.

\Have a coffee crunch and chill out.
 
2013-08-18 06:18:55 PM  

FloydA: unyon: You laugh now, but when we invade parts of Montana, North Dakota, Minnesota, and the UP of Michigan and hold them for 3-5 weeks until the snow melts, it won't be nearly as funny.

/ok, it'll still be funny

Only until you try to give them back.  Then you'll find that you've fallen right into our trap and realize you're stuck with the new province of Dumbasskatchewan.  Mua-ha-ha-ha!


Meh, Iowa *might* fight a bit to get parts of Minnesota back. we like to fish there But really only after we've been drinking.

/ I mean, we almost invaded Missouri over some bee hives.
// Well ok, it was a border dispute over taxes really, but there was in fact beehives involved
/// Why yes, whiskey *was* involved in the decision making process for both sides. Why do you ask?
 
2013-08-18 06:19:53 PM  
Arctic rangers... 20 guys with .303 Enfields.

Protecting our friends,  the Linn Cod.
 
2013-08-18 06:19:56 PM  
This is the beginning wait until they armor a Zamboni and weaponize poutine! We cannot allow a poutine gap!
 
2013-08-18 06:20:06 PM  
I'm sure it would still have an IR footprint that would stand out like the Statue of Liberty in the middle of Kansas.

You guys sleigh me!
 
2013-08-18 06:20:33 PM  
The Department of National Defence even has a nickname for its cutting-edge, covert tool: "Loki,"

Quieter than a mewling quim.
 
2013-08-18 06:21:13 PM  
What a stealth snowmobile might look like:

t3.gstatic.com
 
2013-08-18 06:23:22 PM  
A well-to-do neighbor of my parents had a run in with a stealth barbed wire fence on a snowmobile about 10 years ago in Canada. He French-Revolutioned himself going about 80 mph. Ouch.

/ CSB
 
2013-08-18 06:24:56 PM  
Is it this?

i198.photobucket.com
 
2013-08-18 06:27:02 PM  
 I wonder if its being designed by the makers of the 'attack scooter'upload.wikimedia.org.

/yes, that was really a thing
//and yes, that really is a truly farking huge functional cannon
 
2013-08-18 06:27:37 PM  
It costs $620,000 to paint a snowmobile white!?

Oh, it's milspec? Carry on then.
 
2013-08-18 06:28:28 PM  

Nick Nostril: A well-to-do neighbor of my parents had a run in with a stealth barbed wire fence on a snowmobile about 10 years ago in Canada. He French-Revolutioned himself going about 80 mph. Ouch.

/ CSB


If he "French-Revolutioned" himself, then it should be /OEC not /CSB.

/no one here will understand what I just typed
 
2013-08-18 06:30:37 PM  
Tesla has given us a near-silent car, so applying the same sort of technology to snowmobiles should be relatively easy.  Now if they could give us some silent jet-skis and motorboats, the cottage lake would be much more peaceful.
 
2013-08-18 06:30:53 PM  

Tatsuma: There are many many things that can be mocked when it comes to canadians, but the CAF are not one of them.


Shh. Let them mock. Soon...
 
2013-08-18 06:31:16 PM  
Canada's top engineering team is on the project...

img829.imageshack.us
 
2013-08-18 06:31:20 PM  
How much bacon can it fire per minute?
 
2013-08-18 06:31:20 PM  
Elon Musk is developing a transporter that shoots ice cubes down a tube at 700 mph.   It will revolutionize how Inuits protect the Arctic.
 
2013-08-18 06:31:55 PM  

rhiannon: Tatsuma: There are many many things that can be mocked when it comes to canadians, but the CAF are not one of them.

Yes there are. It's Canadians, not canadians.


And it's CF not CAF
 
2013-08-18 06:32:42 PM  

studebaker hoch: Sounds like they're testing an electric snowmobile.

It's genuis!  Everyone knows batteries last longer in the freezer!


I wondered why my wife stored her vibrator in there. TMYK.
 
2013-08-18 06:40:31 PM  
So the design for these things $288 million from a Norweigian design, amirite?
 
2013-08-18 06:42:35 PM  
TFA: "transport Canadian Forces throughout the Arctic without being detected "

cmsimg.navytimes.com
 
2013-08-18 06:43:31 PM  
The Canadian military has been secretly test-driving a $620,000 stealth snowmobile in its quest to quietly whisk troops on clandestine operations in the Arctic


Illicit ice sales to Eskimos?
 
2013-08-18 06:43:52 PM  

CliChe Guevara:  I wonder if its being designed by the makers of the 'attack scooter'.

/yes, that was really a thing
//and yes, that really is a truly farking huge functional cannon


That isn't a cannon. It could be a bazooka, or more likely, a modified panzerfaust. If you look closely; the tube conceals something that resembles a red square.

/ those tubes on the side probably carry extra rounds
 
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