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(Daily Star)   Today's episode of "Things That Are Not Gay At All" brought to you by Tom Cruise's insistence on wearing a thong for action scenes: "staff have been ordered to have as many as 50 thongs available so Cruise always has a fresh one"   (dailystar.co.uk) divider line 52
    More: Dumbass, Tom Cruise, back flips, stunts  
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4195 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 18 Aug 2013 at 5:24 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



52 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-08-18 02:11:23 AM  
A good friend of mine was in a terrible car wreck and lost 10% of his frontal lobes. Ever since he will only wear thongs.

Things that make you go 'Hmmmmmm'
 
2013-08-18 02:33:55 AM  
*scans headline*

25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-08-18 02:35:08 AM  
Nuts.
 
2013-08-18 02:39:52 AM  
Anal leakage?
 
2013-08-18 03:33:42 AM  
They are called "thongs" because that's the noise they make when you take them off.

***thoooonnnggg***
 
2013-08-18 05:35:10 AM  
 
2013-08-18 05:45:56 AM  

ZMugg: A good friend of mine was in a terrible car wreck and lost 10% of his frontal lobes. Ever since he will only wear thongs.

Things that make you go 'Hmmmmmm'


Are you saying that Scientologists forced Tom Cruise to have a lobotomy?
 
2013-08-18 05:49:03 AM  
"Let me see your-" NO!!!!
 
2013-08-18 06:08:32 AM  

Harry_Seldon: ZMugg: A good friend of mine was in a terrible car wreck and lost 10% of his frontal lobes. Ever since he will only wear thongs.

Things that make you go 'Hmmmmmm'

Are you saying that Scientologists forced Tom Cruise to have a lobotomy?


I think the lobotomy might explain a few things like joining Scientology as a closetted gay man.
 
2013-08-18 06:12:23 AM  
Maybe it's time to stop making action movies?
 
2013-08-18 06:22:55 AM  
Do the thongs effectively hide his thunder?

Perhaps he likes the way they shape his junk.

Wouldn't be surprised if Tom Cruise was just like Tobias Funke... closeted? No I mean a Never-Nude! Nie Vollstaendig nude.
 
2013-08-18 06:27:52 AM  
Here's what I don't get. Why doesn't bring his own comfy, fresh thongs?
 
2013-08-18 06:43:49 AM  
i1222.photobucket.com


THONG.
 
2013-08-18 08:04:26 AM  
I don't care how gay you
are, thongs are not acceptable for males. Ever. Can we get George Takai to weigh in on this?
 
2013-08-18 08:25:10 AM  
Subby is bad and this headline is bad, for making me think of a thong-wearing Tom Cruise.

/need coffee
 
2013-08-18 08:29:00 AM  
That thong th thong thong thong That thong th thong thong thong That thong th thong thong thong !!!
 
2013-08-18 08:32:23 AM  
Listen, it's a European thing, which proves that it's not gay.
 
2013-08-18 08:36:21 AM  
www.souvenirsaustralia.com
but wouldn't they fall off hen he runs from explosions and such?
 
2013-08-18 08:41:24 AM  

weirdneighbour: [www.souvenirsaustralia.com image 299x360]
but wouldn't they fall off hen he runs from explosions and such?


Nah I imagine if you tuck your tackle in the left side and your baiter through the right it'd be a pretty snug & secure fit.  I've no idea how he holds the rear one on though, not that there's anything wrong with that.
 
2013-08-18 08:41:27 AM  

Apos: *scans headline*

[25.media.tumblr.com image 300x188]


one of my favorite gifs ever.
 
2013-08-18 09:07:40 AM  

i1046.photobucket.com


/What's more sexual than a high waisted thong riding high up Tom's backside?

 
2013-08-18 09:33:43 AM  
Somebody's making a killing selling the used ones on eBay or rentboy.com
 
2013-08-18 09:50:09 AM  
if he wants something snug up between his cheeks
he should just ask travolta
 
2013-08-18 09:54:35 AM  
Well, I can understand using briefs or other tight underpants instead of loose boxers to keep the bits from flopping around during action scenes (basically the sports bra for men)..but thongs?
 
2013-08-18 10:25:45 AM  
If I had Tom Cruise money, I'd be Tom Cruise Crazy, too.
 
2013-08-18 10:33:47 AM  
Whale tail! Whale tail! Look out!!
 
2013-08-18 10:35:59 AM  
Correct me if I'm wrong, male population, but aren't jock straps in existence for this purpose?

If thongs were the answer to complete flexibility and free movement, wouldn't all NFL players be sporting them?

How is a thin strip of synthetic fabric rubbing against your asshole providing you any "freedom"?
 
2013-08-18 10:51:48 AM  

Transpogue: Correct me if I'm wrong, male population, but aren't jock straps in existence for this purpose?

If thongs were the answer to complete flexibility and free movement, wouldn't all NFL players be sporting them?

How is a thin strip of synthetic fabric rubbing against your asshole providing you any "freedom"?


Jockstraps are a hard something to protect your soft privates from rough contact, thongs are the reverse.
 
2013-08-18 10:56:35 AM  

BumpInTheNight: Jockstraps are a hard something to protect your soft privates from rough contact


No they aren't.
 
2013-08-18 11:02:39 AM  

Bslim: Here's what I don't get. Why doesn't bring his own comfy, fresh thongs?


And why does he require a "fresh one" for every take?
 
2013-08-18 11:20:21 AM  

BumpInTheNight: Transpogue: Correct me if I'm wrong, male population, but aren't jock straps in existence for this purpose?

If thongs were the answer to complete flexibility and free movement, wouldn't all NFL players be sporting them?

How is a thin strip of synthetic fabric rubbing against your asshole providing you any "freedom"?

Jockstraps are a hard something to protect your soft privates from rough contact, thongs are the reverse.


That's a cup. You put a cup inside the jockstrap to protect said soft privates.
 
2013-08-18 11:35:01 AM  
i.imgur.com
Meanwhile, in the NFL...
 
2013-08-18 11:49:28 AM  

Gleeman: [i.imgur.com image 600x350]
Meanwhile, in the NFL...


Exactly my point!

I still get a kick out of the "modesty" panels in those pants.  Sure would make the game more interesting without them...
 
2013-08-18 12:06:56 PM  
img.pandawhale.com
 
2013-08-18 12:45:36 PM  
That's gayer than Clay Aiken at a Macklemore concert.
 
2013-08-18 12:48:45 PM  

Coco LaFemme: BumpInTheNight: Transpogue: Correct me if I'm wrong, male population, but aren't jock straps in existence for this purpose?

If thongs were the answer to complete flexibility and free movement, wouldn't all NFL players be sporting them?

How is a thin strip of synthetic fabric rubbing against your asshole providing you any "freedom"?

Jockstraps are a hard something to protect your soft privates from rough contact, thongs are the reverse.

That's a cup. You put a cup inside the jockstrap to protect said soft privates.


I take it the cups are never used for drinking again?  Not that their is anything wrong with that.
 
2013-08-18 12:49:28 PM  
T

GreatGlavinsGhost: [i1222.photobucket.com image 500x350]



Tom Cruise isn't gay; his boyfriend is.
 
2013-08-18 12:50:23 PM  

BumpInTheNight: Coco LaFemme: BumpInTheNight: Transpogue: Correct me if I'm wrong, male population, but aren't jock straps in existence for this purpose?

If thongs were the answer to complete flexibility and free movement, wouldn't all NFL players be sporting them?

How is a thin strip of synthetic fabric rubbing against your asshole providing you any "freedom"?

Jockstraps are a hard something to protect your soft privates from rough contact, thongs are the reverse.

That's a cup. You put a cup inside the jockstrap to protect said soft privates.

I take it the cups are never used for drinking again?  Not that their is anything wrong with that.


But wouldn't the cup handle hurt when you fall on it?
 
2013-08-18 12:55:03 PM  

Khazar-Khum: BumpInTheNight: Coco LaFemme: BumpInTheNight: Transpogue: Correct me if I'm wrong, male population, but aren't jock straps in existence for this purpose?

If thongs were the answer to complete flexibility and free movement, wouldn't all NFL players be sporting them?

How is a thin strip of synthetic fabric rubbing against your asshole providing you any "freedom"?

Jockstraps are a hard something to protect your soft privates from rough contact, thongs are the reverse.

That's a cup. You put a cup inside the jockstrap to protect said soft privates.

I take it the cups are never used for drinking again?  Not that their is anything wrong with that.

But wouldn't the cup handle hurt when you fall on it?


And what if its made of glass?  Yah I think that has bad idea written all over it.
 
2013-08-18 01:11:43 PM  
This has to be the most ridiculous case of "Stop liking what I don't like" I've seen yet. Seriously, wear whatever undergarment makes your junk the most comfortable and stop worrying about what others wear. I would suggest that anyone this interested in what kind of underwear another man wears needs to come out of the closet themselves.
 
2013-08-18 01:38:31 PM  
*sigh*

Ok, I must weigh-in on this issue since it has effected me personally.  I still can't stand T.C., BTW.


I'm a cyclist and I fought an uphill battle for years on something comfortable to wear on my bike.  The underwear I tried inevitably ended-up stuffed up my ass from standing/sitting on the bike saddle a thousand times per ride and my first movement on getting off my bike was always to pull the fabric out of my ass....

So I moved on to jock straps and found that the waistband moves all over the place due to the standing, sitting, leaning thing you do on a bike, so those were also not great since I was constantly having to pull up the band and also my junk tended to fall out of a jock and I'm not an exhibitionist.

Which led me to buying some cheapass thongs from a local discount store, and, lo-and-behold, my junk stays in place through an entire ride without me adjusting myself a hundred times.  And since the rear strap STARTS OUT being up your ass, it has nowhere else to travel....

Problem solved.

/only wears thongs to cycle, thinks they look pretty silly otherwise
 
2013-08-18 01:48:29 PM  

weirdneighbour: [www.souvenirsaustralia.com image 299x360]
but wouldn't they fall off hen he runs from explosions and such?


Amusingly, also known as "flip-flops", like much of Cruise's film work lately.
 
2013-08-18 01:49:33 PM  

ChubbyTiger: I don't care how gay you
are, thongs are not acceptable for males. Ever. Can we get George Takai to weigh in on this?


I get the feeling he'd think they are fabulous on the right guy; that said I'd hate for thongs to ever become common for straight men.
 
2013-08-18 02:26:33 PM  
Eh, I've heard of crazier things. A Navy Seal friend of mine once told me they'd all wear nylons during beach training to keep the sand out of their crotches.
 
2013-08-18 02:52:43 PM  

Mike Chewbacca: Eh, I've heard of crazier things. A Navy Seal friend of mine once told me they'd all wear nylons during beach training to keep the sand out of their crotches.


See, that actually makes logical sense.

Wearing a thong for "comfort" and "maximum flexibility"?

Yeah, no.
 
2013-08-18 02:58:35 PM  
Tom Cruise's Fresh Action Thong profile name in 3, 2, 1...
 
2013-08-18 03:27:03 PM  
Tried to get a lock on TomCruiseThongs.com... already taken.
 
2013-08-18 05:31:17 PM  

Crotchrocket Slim: ChubbyTiger: I don't care how gay you
are, thongs are not acceptable for males. Ever. Can we get George Takai to weigh in on this?

I get the feeling he'd think they are fabulous on the right guy; that said I'd hate for thongs to ever become common for straight men.


But we're talking about Tom Cruise, not straight guys.

/come out of the closet, Tom
 
2013-08-18 07:04:10 PM  

Mike Chewbacca: Eh, I've heard of crazier things. A Navy Seal friend of mine once told me they'd all wear nylons during beach training to keep the sand out of their crotches.


Back in the day all 7-11's carried Legg's and they were a godsend to motorcycle riders caught out by cold weather. A pair or 2 under your jeans and you were good to go. Now- a days gear is so good they really aren't needed, but I always keep a pair under my seat just in case.
 
2013-08-19 03:15:26 AM  

Mike Chewbacca: Eh, I've heard of crazier things. A Navy Seal friend of mine once told me they'd all wear nylons during beach training to keep the sand out of their crotches.


Yup.

Football players too. They make a huge difference in warmth when worn under football pants.
 
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