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(WFAA Fort Worth)   Texas gun show features a $7000 bulletproof couch that will stop a 44 Magnum round at point-blank range. Also has a gun safe to hold 40 rifles and ammunition. "I had an e-mail this morning from Abu Dhabi, and they wanted a quote on 16 of these,"   (wfaa.com) divider line 88
    More: Spiffy, Magnum, Texas, gun safes, Fort Worth, Research Corporation, couch, Abu Dhabi  
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5210 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Aug 2013 at 1:41 PM (35 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-08-17 11:02:01 AM
Meh.

Call me when the can get a couch cushion that can stop a rank beer and pizza fart at point-blank range!
 
2013-08-17 11:27:22 AM
"If you break it down and remove the cushions," explained Brian Poitevent, as he revealed what was hidden inside the couch his company manufactured, "you notice it looks like a normal sofa. But open up the lid, and you have a concealed gun safe."
"No one knows it's there -- not your cleaning crew, not your guests," he said.


Your cleaning crew sucks.
 
2013-08-17 11:31:52 AM

Relatively Obscure: Your cleaning crew sucks.



I chuckled.
 
2013-08-17 11:49:08 AM
A bullet-proof couch sounds like a good idea in these days of hyper-militarized police and no-knock warrants.
 
2013-08-17 11:59:39 AM
There is no way 40 rifles are fitting in there.
 
2013-08-17 12:41:25 PM
A couch gun safe seems like a good idea, but then one day you lose your remote and end up shooting your TV.
 
2013-08-17 12:55:37 PM

Therion: A bullet-proof couch sounds like a good idea in these days of hyper-militarized police and no-knock warrants.


The cushions are rated to stop handgun rounds.  They would be useless against a rifle.  If you want to stop no-knock warrants, vote, and pester your elected officials.
 
2013-08-17 01:01:40 PM

Tom_Slick: A couch gun safe seems like a good idea, but then one day you lose your remote and end up shooting your TV.



Especially if you have one of those universal remotes that looks like a handgun:

http://www.geekologie.com/2009/12/pew-pew-revolver-1function-tv.php
 
2013-08-17 01:40:14 PM
www.bundyology.com

Interested.
 
2013-08-17 01:45:39 PM

markie_farkie: Meh.

Call me when the can get a couch cushion that can stop a rank beer and pizza fart at point-blank range!


You don't need a couch cushion for that...

duckduckgrayduck.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-08-17 01:46:38 PM
So if someone bursts in on you and you're on the couch, quickly ask them to circle around to the back of the couch and squat down before they fire.
 
2013-08-17 01:47:46 PM
New champion of the 'worst thing to help your friends move'!

/why yes, the hide-a-bed does belong on the second floor up those spiraled stairs too narrow for it
//well now it doesn't look right, maybe it'll work better in the basement wreck room
 
2013-08-17 01:48:54 PM
Bulletproof cushions (optional)? I doubt they're very comfortable.
 
2013-08-17 01:49:05 PM
Oh, Abu Dhabi?

I knew the Sheiks had some terrible tastes in furniture and interior decorating, but christ.
 
2013-08-17 01:49:28 PM
So you can build a bullet proof fort with the cushions? I figured gun nuts were childish but not like this.
 
2013-08-17 01:51:41 PM

Fark It: Therion: A bullet-proof couch sounds like a good idea in these days of hyper-militarized police and no-knock warrants.

The cushions are rated to stop handgun rounds.  They would be useless against a rifle.  If you want to stop no-knock warrants, vote, and pester your elected officials.


This! You don't express your freedoms by shooting government officers who have more firepower than you do, you find and elect people who promote those freedoms while making or repealing laws. Though first we'll have to get rid of those laws that equate how much money you have to how much speech you can get.
 
2013-08-17 01:52:28 PM
I guess Abu Dhabi is real tired of getting all of those puppies coming in the mail.
 
2013-08-17 01:54:05 PM

Disgruntled Goat: So if someone bursts in on you and you're on the couch, quickly ask them to circle around to the back of the couch and squat down before they fire.


The cushions are designed to be removed and used as shields. You could also make a pretty nice intruder-resistant cushion fort.
 
2013-08-17 01:55:33 PM
Why was this being featured at a gun show?

What's next, assault rifles at a furniture show?
 
2013-08-17 01:56:11 PM

RottNDude: markie_farkie: Meh.

Call me when the can get a couch cushion that can stop a rank beer and pizza fart at point-blank range!

You don't need a couch cushion for that...

[duckduckgrayduck.files.wordpress.com image 300x300]


Thunderwear?
 
2013-08-17 01:58:25 PM

DarkSoulNoHope: This! You don't express your freedoms by shooting government officers who have more firepower than you do, you find and elect people who promote those freedoms while making or repealing laws. Though first we'll have to get rid of those laws that equate how much money you have to how much speech you can get.


Bootlicking fascist. The only way I can stop the gubament from getting me is if I have my special edition Barret M82s with hello kitty stickers on them, and underslung Glock M-60s.

memecrunch.com
 
2013-08-17 02:04:04 PM

gadian: I guess Abu Dhabi is real tired of getting all of those puppies coming in the mail.


Since when was Nermal a puppy?
 
2013-08-17 02:07:29 PM
Well, at least by designing it as a couch, the redneck, paranoid, survival fetishist who buys it will actually get some use out of it, lounging in front of his TV watching Die Hard sequels while absolutely nothing ever happens in his life where he needs a bullet-proof couch.
 
2013-08-17 02:08:58 PM

LouDobbsAwaaaay: Well, at least by designing it as a couch, the redneck, paranoid, survival fetishist who buys it will actually get some use out of it, lounging in front of his TV watching Die Hard sequels while absolutely nothing ever happens in his life where he needs a bullet-proof couch.


The people who buy that would be the first ones to shiat their pants if someone did actually shoot at them. They'd be too busy fumbling the safe combination with their massive, cheeto covered fingers and shiat-stained drawers to even return fire.
 
2013-08-17 02:09:33 PM
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles did it.

You are not going to be fighting a Terminator.
 
2013-08-17 02:11:47 PM
We need to pool our money and start making bulletproof riding chairs, walking canes that are really rifles(that one is cool), and Oxygen tanks that conceals hand guns.
 
2013-08-17 02:13:04 PM

gadian: I guess Abu Dhabi is real tired of getting all of those puppies coming in the mail.


4.bp.blogspot.com

Clearly a puppy.
 
2013-08-17 02:16:40 PM

DarkSoulNoHope: This! You don't express your freedoms by shooting government officers who have more firepower than you do, you find and elect people who promote those freedoms while making or repealing laws. Though first we'll have to get rid of those laws that equate how much money you have to how much speech you can get.


This assumes they are listening to us. They aren't.
 
2013-08-17 02:18:28 PM

Gosling: Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles did it.

You are not going to be fighting a Terminator.


"You are going to be fighting a transformer, the feared Sofamatic Prime"?
 
2013-08-17 02:19:16 PM
And here come the the commonsense gun safety advocates, the first to demand safe storage requirements, making assumptions and hurling insults over something that safely stores guns and prevents them from falling into the hands of criminals and children....
 
2013-08-17 02:22:09 PM

LouisZepher: Since when was Nermal a puppy?


Sorry, for some reason I remembered it as Odie being mailed.
 
2013-08-17 02:23:06 PM

DarkSoulNoHope: Fark It: Therion: A bullet-proof couch sounds like a good idea in these days of hyper-militarized police and no-knock warrants.

The cushions are rated to stop handgun rounds.  They would be useless against a rifle.  If you want to stop no-knock warrants, vote, and pester your elected officials.

This! You don't express your freedoms by shooting government officers who have more firepower than you do, you find and elect people who promote those freedoms while making or repealing laws. Though first we'll have to get rid of those laws that equate how much money you have to how much speech you can get.


Forgive my snark, but 237 years of voting for people that claim to "promote those freedoms while making or repealing laws" got us where we are now. Not that I'm advocating the shooting of gov't officers, but nowadays voting is about as impotent a gesture as an old man yelling at a cloud. (Thank gawd we didn't vote republican, else Guantanamo would still be open today...)

Money is the root of evil. Power corrupts. Combine the two, slap a title on it like CEO, CIC or what-have-you and here we are. If someone is asking for your vote, the last thing they have in mind is what's best for you (and people like you).

That being said, if a bulletproof couch is likely to save your life, you spend way too much time on the couch.
 
2013-08-17 02:23:58 PM
Most importantly, will it fit through the front door of a trailer?
 
2013-08-17 02:24:08 PM

Therion: A bullet-proof couch sounds like a good idea in these days of hyper-militarized police and no-knock warrants.


Or if you are living in Chicago
 
2013-08-17 02:24:42 PM
filmdope.com

Never sit with your back to the door.
 
2013-08-17 02:30:47 PM

Fark It: And here come the the commonsense gun safety advocates, the first to demand safe storage requirements, making assumptions and hurling insults over something that safely stores guns and prevents them from falling into the hands of criminals and children....


I'm an advocate of waste-oil biodiesel as a fuel source for automobiles.  But if I saw a biodeisel car that looked like an elf-shoe and was covered in floppy dildos, I'd still say it looks ridiculous.
 
GBB
2013-08-17 02:31:23 PM

Fark It: Therion: A bullet-proof couch sounds like a good idea in these days of hyper-militarized police and no-knock warrants.

The cushions are rated to stop handgun rounds.  They would be useless against a rifle.  If you want to stop no-knock warrants, vote, and pester your elected officials.


Or stop doing illegal shiat.
 
GBB
2013-08-17 02:33:33 PM

Rand's lacy underwear: Gosling: Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles did it.

You are not going to be fighting a Terminator.

"You are going to be fighting a transformer, the feared Sofamatic Prime"?


Lay-Z-Bot
 
2013-08-17 02:33:39 PM

GBB: Fark It: Therion: A bullet-proof couch sounds like a good idea in these days of hyper-militarized police and no-knock warrants.

The cushions are rated to stop handgun rounds.  They would be useless against a rifle.  If you want to stop no-knock warrants, vote, and pester your elected officials.

Or stop doing illegal shiat.


Because the police never raid the wrong house, or raid people who are innocent of any actual wrong-doing, or raid people guilty of misdemeanors or municipal code violations.

/how do those boots taste?
 
2013-08-17 02:34:19 PM
Actually, a 40 gun safe makes a ton of sense in areas of high insurgency.  You don't want the local militia to have access to guns 24/7, so by locking them up you can make sure the guns are only available in emergencies.  It lets you keep guns where they are needed, but still under control.
 
2013-08-17 02:39:56 PM

GBB: Fark It: Therion: A bullet-proof couch sounds like a good idea in these days of hyper-militarized police and no-knock warrants.

The cushions are rated to stop handgun rounds.  They would be useless against a rifle.  If you want to stop no-knock warrants, vote, and pester your elected officials.

Or stop doing illegal shiat.


Wait, this is 123 Fake St. but the warrant was for 723 Fake St?
 
2013-08-17 02:40:01 PM

halestorm20: [filmdope.com image 320x240]

Never sit with your back to the door.


I heard you coming down the hall and I heard you open the door.

/You cannot imitate the sound
//I'd know the difference
 
2013-08-17 02:41:46 PM
There comes a point in your life where you have to ask yourself...

"Why the hell would I need a $7000 bulletproof couch that will stop a 44 Magnum round at point-blank range. that also has a gun safe to hold 40 rifles and ammunition?"
 
2013-08-17 02:50:25 PM

maxheck: There comes a point in your life where you have to ask yourself...

"Why the hell would I need a $7000 bulletproof couch that will stop a 44 Magnum round at point-blank range. that also has a gun safe to hold 40 rifles and ammunition?"




Because you live in a place that is either a warzone or could become one in the next few years.
Something like this is well warranted in places like Dubai, Egypt, Israel, Illinois, or even Turkey if you've got the money.
 
2013-08-17 02:53:48 PM

halestorm20: [filmdope.com image 320x240]

Never sit with your back to the door.


encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com
Thufer, i hear you, Duncan, and Gurnie when you entered the room
 
2013-08-17 03:05:57 PM
way south:

maxheck: There comes a point in your life where you have to ask yourself...

"Why the hell would I need a $7000 bulletproof couch that will stop a 44 Magnum round at point-blank range. that also has a gun safe to hold 40 rifles and ammunition?"

Because you live in a place that is either a warzone or could become one in the next few years.
Something like this is well warranted in places like Dubai, Egypt, Israel, Illinois, or even Turkey if you've got the money.


Still seems silly. In most places, for $7k you can hire someone to sit outside your door with an AK47 to make damn sure no one gets within shooting distance. For that matter you're going to be the first one through the airport if things go wrong.
 
2013-08-17 03:11:53 PM
.44 Magnum round. Pfft. You want to shoot people, you use a rifle and man bullets.

texashideout.tripod.com
 
2013-08-17 03:12:59 PM
A regular advertiser durring Ranger games is a dealership pimping kevlar coated automobiles.  Kevlar cars? Who would drop, I'm guessing $150k, on a kevlar coated car?
 
2013-08-17 03:13:27 PM

way south: maxheck: There comes a point in your life where you have to ask yourself...

"Why the hell would I need a $7000 bulletproof couch that will stop a 44 Magnum round at point-blank range. that also has a gun safe to hold 40 rifles and ammunition?"

Because you live in a place that is either a warzone or could become one in the next few years.
Something like this is well warranted in places like Dubai, Egypt, Israel, Illinois, or even Turkey if you've got the money.


No, it isn't. If you live in a war zone, you keep your automatic rifle on pegs over the fireplace, not in a locked couch/safe.
 
2013-08-17 03:14:03 PM
If only JR had access to such technology...
 
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