If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(HitFix)   Fifteen of Hollywood's most famous near-misses. Imagine if David Lynch had directed Return of the Jedi how much better it would have been   (hitfix.com) divider line 71
    More: Interesting, Return of the Jedi, humans, Hollywood, Jedi, Benjamin Button, Paul Verhoeven, Richard Dreyfuss, David Lean  
•       •       •

4752 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 16 Aug 2013 at 8:33 PM (34 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



71 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-08-16 08:50:08 PM
The downside is that we would have had to see Harrison Ford in a futuristic Speedo.
 
2013-08-16 08:50:20 PM
Return would have been a turd if Lynch had gotten the gig.  He's good but only in his surreal world.
 
2013-08-16 08:55:00 PM
Near misses with Schwartznegger or Stallone are actually lucky breaks and not something to cry about.
 
2013-08-16 08:56:45 PM
I remember that Speilberg Talisman rumor... That would've been a good combo.

I have fond recollections of that book.
 
2013-08-16 08:57:59 PM

Cepheus Crater: Return would have been a turd if Lynch had gotten the gig.  He's good but only in his surreal world.


Gotta agree. David Lynch in ROTJ would have been an ugly friggin mess. Did we forget he directed Dune already?
 
2013-08-16 09:00:30 PM
Would have loved to see David Lean interpret Nostromo, would have been interesting to say the least.
 
zez
2013-08-16 09:06:42 PM

Cepheus Crater: Return would have been a turd if Lynch had gotten the gig.  He's good but only in his surreal world.


t2.gstatic.com

www.jonathanrosenbaum.com


<notsureifserious.jpg>
 
2013-08-16 09:10:51 PM

bdub77: Cepheus Crater: Return would have been a turd if Lynch had gotten the gig.  He's good but only in his surreal world.

Gotta agree. David Lynch in ROTJ would have been an ugly friggin mess. Did we forget he directed Dune already?


Lynch's Dune isn't bad, but I prefer the 2000 miniseries just because it was able to devote more time to fully developing the story.  I don't think he would have been a good for for Jedi though, he tends to go darker than a Star Wars movie should be.

Now, Kubrick's version of Lord of the Rings, or Napoleon, those would have likely been phenomenal.  A Kubrick movie about Napoleon could have knocked Patton off the top of the list of greatest war movies ever made.
 
2013-08-16 09:12:22 PM
I want to live in the universe where Jodorowsky made Dune.
 
2013-08-16 09:26:03 PM

TuteTibiImperes: bdub77: Cepheus Crater: Return would have been a turd if Lynch had gotten the gig.  He's good but only in his surreal world.

Gotta agree. David Lynch in ROTJ would have been an ugly friggin mess. Did we forget he directed Dune already?

Lynch's Dune isn't bad, but I prefer the 2000 miniseries just because it was able to devote more time to fully developing the story.  I don't think he would have been a good for for Jedi though, he tends to go darker than a Star Wars movie should be.

Now, Kubrick's version of Lord of the Rings, or Napoleon, those would have likely been phenomenal.  A Kubrick movie about Napoleon could have knocked Patton off the top of the list of greatest war movies ever made.


I honestly think that if they do pull off a Dune movie. It will have to be a trilogy per book almost. There is way to much going on to cover in one movie.
 
2013-08-16 09:26:41 PM
"Wouldn't it be a near-HIT, not a near-MISS?" - George Carlin
 
2013-08-16 09:31:28 PM
I'd like to see ROTJ directed by Michael Bay

/or maybe Tim Burton
 
2013-08-16 09:32:45 PM
Do people really get paid to regurgitate the same shiat that's been repeated on geek web sites for the last 15 years?
 
2013-08-16 09:37:52 PM
Can we add Darren Aranofsky's aborted "Wolverine" to the list?
 
2013-08-16 09:39:16 PM

zez: Cepheus Crater: Return would have been a turd if Lynch had gotten the gig.  He's good but only in his surreal world.

[t2.gstatic.com image 191x264]

[www.jonathanrosenbaum.com image 580x903]


<notsureifserious.jpg>

Point sort of taken with Straight Story, but Elephant Man proves my point even further.  And Straight Story was made late in his career when he had mellowed a bit, it was also a passion project.  The Lynch of 1981, when production began on Return, he was the still the Lynch of old making bold, surreal movies partly he wanted to at that point and he had the skill to do so.  This is why Dune was so bad, he wasn't ready to make a straight movie yet, and Dune is straight considering his peculiar eye in those days.  He made Dune to get more studio jizz for even more off kilter fare (Brazil anyone?).
 
2013-08-16 09:43:40 PM

bdub77: Did we forget he directed Dune already?


Being a big fan of the book series, I can understand why people hated the movie.  But I have to admit I freaking love the shiat out of it.   There's a whole pile of crazy ass stuff in there that will always boggle the mind, but there are some parts that make it all worth while.

I also have to give credit to the fact the art direction in there basically has driven how the Dune universe appears in a lot of other media, particularly the games.  And while I liked the Sci Fi miniseries I thought Lynch's Dune looked way better.
 
2013-08-16 09:45:08 PM
Been wanting to read this for a while:

d202m5krfqbpi5.cloudfront.net

Wish my local library had it...
 
2013-08-16 09:45:13 PM

Cepheus Crater: zez: Cepheus Crater: Return would have been a turd if Lynch had gotten the gig.  He's good but only in his surreal world.

[t2.gstatic.com image 191x264]

[www.jonathanrosenbaum.com image 580x903]


<notsureifserious.jpg>
Point sort of taken with Straight Story, but Elephant Man proves my point even further.  And Straight Story was made late in his career when he had mellowed a bit, it was also a passion project.  The Lynch of 1981, when production began on Return, he was the still the Lynch of old making bold, surreal movies partly he wanted to at that point and he had the skill to do so.  This is why Dune was so bad, he wasn't ready to make a straight movie yet, and Dune is straight considering his peculiar eye in those days.  He made Dune to get more studio jizz for even more off kilter fare (Brazil anyone?).


Bad? Dune was great. In particular, the original cut with the prologue setting up the universe at the beginning.
 
2013-08-16 09:53:22 PM
Jabba the Hutt is thrown in jail after making a mess at a local diner. Meanwhile, the Empire's new Death Star is disabled when a crazed druglord huffs the entire oxygen supply. Luke chases down Vader and finds himself in a room lined with red drapes. He removes Vader's mask only to find nothing under it. Luke passes out, and when he wakes up he's become Leia, who now works as a bartender in Beverly Hills.
 
2013-08-16 09:59:20 PM

zez: Cepheus Crater: Return would have been a turd if Lynch had gotten the gig.  He's good but only in his surreal world.

[t2.gstatic.com image 191x264]

[www.jonathanrosenbaum.com image 580x903]


<notsureifserious.jpg>


I remember watching Elephant Man on HBO when I was a kid. And, I was jealous when he got to touch the boobies. And, creeped out. Not for the lady, just such a horrible existence.  But, boobies.

Last movie to do that to me was Fire in the Sky. Location is just an afternoon drive away. Tool interpretation for your enjoyment.
 
2013-08-16 10:05:26 PM

Mugato: Do people really get paid to regurgitate the same shiat that's been repeated on geek web sites for the last 15 years?


Yes they do, I believe that IS Buzzfeed's business model...
 
2013-08-16 10:06:45 PM
Luke and Vader turn out to be different aspect of the same person's psyche.  That person being Wicket the Ewok, starring Robert Blake as Wicket:

moviesmedia.ign.com
 
2013-08-16 10:10:53 PM

mongbiohazard: Dune was great.


cdn.alltheragefaces.com
 
2013-08-16 10:16:08 PM
That's not my favorite near-miss about "The Godfather."
Paramount wanted to make a sequel almost immediately, but Francis Ford Coppola had to be convinced. In the meantime, he recommended another Italian-American director who had cut his teeth with Roger Corman. Paramount said no, and convinced Coppola to do it.
And that's how we never saw Martin Scorsese's version of "The Godfather Part II."
 
2013-08-16 10:18:50 PM

The All-Powerful Atheismo: mongbiohazard: Dune was great.

[cdn.alltheragefaces.com image 850x1049]


i1313.photobucket.com
 
2013-08-16 10:19:36 PM

NotoriousW.O.P: And that's how we never saw Martin Scorsese's version of "The Godfather Part II."


Hard to say about that one.  That could have been awesome (but maybe not... Mean Streets (1973) is only pretty good and not Godfather quality, and Taxi Driver was still a couple of years away).
 
2013-08-16 10:20:25 PM

mongbiohazard: The All-Powerful Atheismo: mongbiohazard: Dune was great.

[cdn.alltheragefaces.com image 850x1049]

[i1313.photobucket.com image 245x144]


Is he about to rape me?
/I hope not, but that would still be better than watching Dune
 
2013-08-16 10:23:44 PM

The All-Powerful Atheismo: mongbiohazard: The All-Powerful Atheismo: mongbiohazard: Dune was great.

[cdn.alltheragefaces.com image 850x1049]

[i1313.photobucket.com image 245x144]

Is he about to rape me?


Could you blame him?  Look at what you're wearing!!
 
2013-08-16 10:24:18 PM
Can you imagine Princess Leia doing the cherry stem trick?
 
2013-08-16 10:26:49 PM
Richard Matheson's I Am Legend directed by Ridley Scott and starring the Austrian Oak from a truly quite excellent (and unusually faithful to the source material) script by Mark Protosevich (was to be produced following Thelma + Louise.)

Stephen King's The Stand directed by George A. Romero from a script by Rospo ('Excalibur') Pallenberg (was to be produced immediately following Romero's breakthrough studio hit Creepshow.)

The originally planned version of Alien To the Third Power (where the aliens actually did reach Earth).

Pretty much any one of Orson Welles' planned projects which either didn't happen or didn't happen the way they were planned to (due to studio interferance and post-production edits not supervised by Welles himself.)
 
2013-08-16 10:33:27 PM
He kinda did... At lot of Dune wound up in Star Wars (the originality there was production quality).
 
2013-08-16 10:36:28 PM
interferaence
 
2013-08-16 10:38:32 PM

The All-Powerful Atheismo: mongbiohazard: The All-Powerful Atheismo: mongbiohazard: Dune was great.

[cdn.alltheragefaces.com image 850x1049]

[i1313.photobucket.com image 245x144]

Is he about to rape me?
/I hope not, but that would still be better than watching Dune


i82.photobucket.com
 
2013-08-16 10:39:15 PM
Lynch and ROTJ.....  would be NC*17
 
2013-08-16 10:39:47 PM

The All-Powerful Atheismo: mongbiohazard: The All-Powerful Atheismo: mongbiohazard: Dune was great.

[cdn.alltheragefaces.com image 850x1049]

[i1313.photobucket.com image 245x144]

Is he about to rape me?

img.fark.net
 
2013-08-16 10:42:50 PM

Lionel Mandrake: Could you blame him?  Look at what you're wearing!!


He has a thing for suits made out of women's skin?
 
2013-08-16 10:50:26 PM
yves0010:
I honestly think that if they do pull off a Dune movie. It will have to be a trilogy per book almost. There is way to much going on to cover in one movie.

While I love all things Dune, especially the Alan Smithee cut, there's a whole lot of politics and backstory to cover, which would probably end up as ill-received as the Star Wars prequels trilogy.
 
2013-08-16 10:55:46 PM

simplicimus: yves0010:
I honestly think that if they do pull off a Dune movie. It will have to be a trilogy per book almost. There is way to much going on to cover in one movie.

While I love all things Dune, especially the Alan Smithee cut, there's a whole lot of politics and backstory to cover, which would probably end up as ill-received as the Star Wars prequels trilogy.


A big budget TV show could work.  If HBO threw the same resources and treated the source material as respectfully as they have with AFOIAF with GoT, I think it could be very successful.

I prefer a TV adaptation over a film adaptation for pretty much any high content series.  While a movie can usually yield a higher budget and bigger name actors, those benefits are outweighed by having to condense the source material to make it fit within a 2 - 3 hour max window.
 
2013-08-16 11:08:20 PM

TuteTibiImperes: simplicimus: yves0010:
I honestly think that if they do pull off a Dune movie. It will have to be a trilogy per book almost. There is way to much going on to cover in one movie.

While I love all things Dune, especially the Alan Smithee cut, there's a whole lot of politics and backstory to cover, which would probably end up as ill-received as the Star Wars prequels trilogy.

A big budget TV show could work.  If HBO threw the same resources and treated the source material as respectfully as they have with AFOIAF with GoT, I think it could be very successful.

I prefer a TV adaptation over a film adaptation for pretty much any high content series.  While a movie can usually yield a higher budget and bigger name actors, those benefits are outweighed by having to condense the source material to make it fit within a 2 - 3 hour max window.


That's a very good proposal. Syfy did a fairly decent job with the Dune miniseries, kinda crammed the next two books into one mini-series, and I don't think God Emperor would make a good mini-series. Maybe even take some of Kevin's books' backstories to fill in some blanks.
 
2013-08-16 11:11:56 PM

bdub77: Cepheus Crater: Return would have been a turd if Lynch had gotten the gig.  He's good but only in his surreal world.

Gotta agree. David Lynch in ROTJ would have been an ugly friggin mess. Did we forget he directed Dune already?


The story in Dune is too complicated for a large budget Hollywood film.
 
2013-08-16 11:16:09 PM

djkutch: zez: Cepheus Crater: Return would have been a turd if Lynch had gotten the gig.  He's good but only in his surreal world.

[t2.gstatic.com image 191x264]

[www.jonathanrosenbaum.com image 580x903]


<notsureifserious.jpg>

I remember watching Elephant Man on HBO when I was a kid. And, I was jealous when he got to touch the boobies. And, creeped out. Not for the lady, just such a horrible existence.  But, boobies.


And Mel Brooks produced it.
 
zez
2013-08-16 11:17:31 PM

Mole Man: djkutch: zez: Cepheus Crater: Return would have been a turd if Lynch had gotten the gig.  He's good but only in his surreal world.

[t2.gstatic.com image 191x264]

[www.jonathanrosenbaum.com image 580x903]


<notsureifserious.jpg>

I remember watching Elephant Man on HBO when I was a kid. And, I was jealous when he got to touch the boobies. And, creeped out. Not for the lady, just such a horrible existence.  But, boobies.

And Mel Brooks produced it.


HE WORKED FOR MEL BROOKS???
 
2013-08-16 11:29:44 PM

yves0010: TuteTibiImperes: bdub77: Cepheus Crater: Return would have been a turd if Lynch had gotten the gig.  He's good but only in his surreal world.

Gotta agree. David Lynch in ROTJ would have been an ugly friggin mess. Did we forget he directed Dune already?

Lynch's Dune isn't bad, but I prefer the 2000 miniseries just because it was able to devote more time to fully developing the story.  I don't think he would have been a good for for Jedi though, he tends to go darker than a Star Wars movie should be.

Now, Kubrick's version of Lord of the Rings, or Napoleon, those would have likely been phenomenal.  A Kubrick movie about Napoleon could have knocked Patton off the top of the list of greatest war movies ever made.

I honestly think that if they do pull off a Dune movie. It will have to be a trilogy per book almost. There is way to much going on to cover in one movie.


Sounds like a franchise to me. shiat, why aren't they doing this? It's right up their alley, rehashing cool stuff from decades ago instead of having an original thought for once and then stretching it out to as many films as possible- plus it has the potential to actually be completely awesome. Seems like it should be a no-brainer.
 
2013-08-16 11:36:32 PM

Shrugging Atlas: bdub77: Did we forget he directed Dune already?

Being a big fan of the book series, I can understand why people hated the movie.  But I have to admit I freaking love the shiat out of it.   There's a whole pile of crazy ass stuff in there that will always boggle the mind, but there are some parts that make it all worth while.

I also have to give credit to the fact the art direction in there basically has driven how the Dune universe appears in a lot of other media, particularly the games.  And while I liked the Sci Fi miniseries I thought Lynch's Dune looked way better.


THIS.  I thought the miniseries was far more true to the book, but I preferred the aesthetics of the Lynch film.


fusillade762: Been wanting to read this for a while:

[d202m5krfqbpi5.cloudfront.net image 299x450]

Wish my local library had it...


Eve if they don't have it, they are probably hooked in to an Interlibrary Loan network, and can get it to you from another library somewhere.  I've gotten all sorts of anime, tv series, even a few video games through ILL.
 
2013-08-16 11:37:51 PM

Sinbox: Pretty much any one of Orson Welles' planned projects which either didn't happen or didn't happen the way they were planned to (due to studio interferance and post-production edits not supervised by Welles himself.)


The studios only farked up two of Welles' films: Ambersons and Touch of Evil (which has been restored to what Welles wanted based on a 57-page memo he wrote after he was fired).  All of his other films which got chopped and channeled were Welles' fault, usually because he didn't deliver the finished product on time.  Those were done with independent producers and questionable sources of money (one film may have been funded by the Shah of Iran) The worst mess by far is Mr Arkadin, which exists in something like six versions, none of them edited by Welles.  Then there's The Other Side of the Wind, which was taken away from Welles before he could edit a frame.  It's never been released, and worse, the location of the footage is unknown.
 
2013-08-16 11:45:24 PM

Mole Man: djkutch: zez: Cepheus Crater: Return would have been a turd if Lynch had gotten the gig.  He's good but only in his surreal world.

[t2.gstatic.com image 191x264]

[www.jonathanrosenbaum.com image 580x903]


<notsureifserious.jpg>

I remember watching Elephant Man on HBO when I was a kid. And, I was jealous when he got to touch the boobies. And, creeped out. Not for the lady, just such a horrible existence.  But, boobies.

And Mel Brooks produced it.


And, his son wrote World War Z. Zany family the, Brooks.
 
2013-08-16 11:57:05 PM

RatMaster999: Shrugging Atlas: bdub77: Did we forget he directed Dune already?

Being a big fan of the book series, I can understand why people hated the movie.  But I have to admit I freaking love the shiat out of it.   There's a whole pile of crazy ass stuff in there that will always boggle the mind, but there are some parts that make it all worth while.

I also have to give credit to the fact the art direction in there basically has driven how the Dune universe appears in a lot of other media, particularly the games.  And while I liked the Sci Fi miniseries I thought Lynch's Dune looked way better.

THIS.  I thought the miniseries was far more true to the book, but I preferred the aesthetics of the Lynch film.


I liked the mini for Chani's boobies and:

i36.tinypic.com

because his mom is the spitting image of an ex of mine.
 
2013-08-17 12:13:30 AM

fusillade762: RatMaster999: Shrugging Atlas: bdub77: Did we forget he directed Dune already?

Being a big fan of the book series, I can understand why people hated the movie.  But I have to admit I freaking love the shiat out of it.   There's a whole pile of crazy ass stuff in there that will always boggle the mind, but there are some parts that make it all worth while.

I also have to give credit to the fact the art direction in there basically has driven how the Dune universe appears in a lot of other media, particularly the games.  And while I liked the Sci Fi miniseries I thought Lynch's Dune looked way better.

THIS.  I thought the miniseries was far more true to the book, but I preferred the aesthetics of the Lynch film.

I liked the mini for Chani's boobies and:

[i36.tinypic.com image 400x334]

because his mom is the spitting image of an ex of mine.


I like the SyFy version of "Dune" simply because it allowed "Children of Dune" to be made.  They did a great job on that one but unfortunately it seemed to come and go without much notice.  The casting is actually pretty good, the special effects are MUCH improved, and it starts with the story from "Dune Messiah", the second Dune book.  Pick it up on DVD some time, it's worth having.
 
2013-08-17 12:19:22 AM
I think the biggest near-miss/hit of that list is the Disney making "A Princess of Mars" instead of "Snow shiate". Heh, funny, I instinctively typer shiate instead of white and then realized and accepted what my brain was trying to tell me, it's just a lousy movie. The only value it has it's being the first animated feature film and god if I didn't loathe the consequences.

A world where animation is just considered another mean of expression instead of kiddy stuff is something for the history books. One of the most transcendental decisions in history, especially 20th century and beyond.

A world where Disney wouldn't have been a bastion of conservatism and for-the-children legislation? One where our girls wouldn't have ended up suffering the Disney Princess syndrome? Where our kids wouldn't be subjected to such drivel as an example of values? Jesus, what a wonderful world that would have been.

Forget about Hitler, Gavrilo Philip or whatever. If I had a time machine this is the first thing I'd change.
 
2013-08-17 12:21:44 AM
They mentioned David Lean's Nostromo, but they forgot that Lean wanted to make Munity on the Bounty as his last film.  Actually, he wanted to do two films: one covering everything up the seizure of the Bounty, the second covering the attempts to return the mutineers to England and justice.  It got far enough along that they built a copy of the ship (later used in the Anthony Hopkins version) but the project was taken away from Lean at the last minute as being "too expensive"!
 
Displayed 50 of 71 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report