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(Uproxx)   A KC reporter attempted to put a positive spin on his suicide note by turning it into an interactive treasure map. Follow up: Suicide notes are still more depressing than anything   (uproxx.com) divider line 49
    More: Weird, Kansas City  
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6917 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Aug 2013 at 2:50 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



49 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-08-16 01:34:13 PM
Interesting website he put up about it...he went Hunter S. Thompson in his own quirky way.
 
2013-08-16 01:40:35 PM
Or maybe, after reading this part:

I felt pretty good about being prepared for economic collapse - the primary reason being all the gold and silver I owned. But, then one day I realized that all the gold and silver and guns and ammo and dried food and toilet paper in the world wouldn't prevent me from seeing the calamity with my own eyes - either ignoring other's plight or succumbing to it. And, that's something I decided I simply was not willing to live through.

...I'm thinking he just couldn't listen to Glen Beck any more.
 
2013-08-16 01:45:04 PM
After reading a lot of it...he seemed lonely more than anything else.  If he had spoken to anyone about his "Whys" they could have refuted them.

But hey, his life...his choice...doesn't make it any less sad.
 
2013-08-16 01:57:29 PM
I read one page, the rest seem unavailable.  Did yahoo pull his site already?
 
2013-08-16 02:21:40 PM
He gave a lot more thought to numbers than most sportswriters. When I saw a headline saying "Former KC Star Reporter Kills Himself", I figured it could be one of dozens who'd been layed off from the paper in the last few years. Usually, that's like getting released from a AA ball club. If you can't write for these bumpkins, you need to reassess your dreams of writing for a living. And maybe you just can't think of anything else. But Manley had a bit more going for him. I was surprised it was him. The brain is a weird machine.
 
2013-08-16 02:36:09 PM
Looks like he hit bandwidth limitations on yahoo.  Google cache is your friend:

http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:http://martinma nl eylifeanddeath.com/why_suicide
 
2013-08-16 02:55:49 PM
farm3.static.flickr.com
 
2013-08-16 02:56:46 PM

rumpelstiltskin: He gave a lot more thought to numbers than most sportswriters. When I saw a headline saying "Former KC Star Reporter Kills Himself", I figured it could be one of dozens who'd been layed off from the paper in the last few years. Usually, that's like getting released from a AA ball club. If you can't write for these bumpkins, you need to reassess your dreams of writing for a living. And maybe you just can't think of anything else. But Manley had a bit more going for him. I was surprised it was him. The brain is a weird machine.



Why couldn't it have been Jason Whitlock?
 
2013-08-16 02:56:53 PM

All he needed for suicide note:

--30--
 
2013-08-16 02:58:20 PM
His estate was left to the Sunshine Band.
 
2013-08-16 03:02:52 PM
What was the under-over on his death.
 
2013-08-16 03:04:37 PM
I guess it truly is a mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad world. Or it will be soon in KC.
 
2013-08-16 03:10:33 PM
I'd make the area a minefield before I released the location.  Plant them deep enough that the metal detectors would find them.
 
2013-08-16 03:12:55 PM
One-Eyed Willy?
 
2013-08-16 03:16:12 PM
Family is saying he distributed his assets before he died, so there shouldn't be anything at the location. People have already been out there and found nothing. Interesting. Kind of a poor man's "Ready Player One."
 
2013-08-16 03:17:38 PM
Preserving his memory by airbrushing the fark out of him
 
2013-08-16 03:27:34 PM
I began seeing the problems that come with aging some time ago. I was sick of leaving the garage door open overnight. I was sick of forgetting to zip up when I put on my pants. I was sick of forgetting the names of my best friends. I was sick of going downstairs and having no idea why. I was sick of watching a movie, going to my account on IMDB to type up a review and realizing I've already seen it and, worse, already written a review! I was sick of having to dig through the trash to find an envelope that was sent to me so I could remember my own address - especially since I lived in the same place for the last nine years!


I have to say that's about the point I'd be seriously thinking about checking out while I still had the cognitive capacity to do so.
 
2013-08-16 03:28:10 PM

Harry Freakstorm: I'd make the area a minefield before I released the location.  Plant them deep enough that the metal detectors would find them.


Digging that deep is too much like work. You need some of these:

1.bp.blogspot.com

The GGMI-43, invented by the clever Germans. The glass construction and chemical fuse make it pretty much invisible to most detectors. Added bonus: glass fragments are undetectable to x-rays.

There's even a video.
 
2013-08-16 03:28:43 PM

Ivo Shandor: [farm3.static.flickr.com image 399x306]


images3.wikia.nocookie.net

/Now an empty store
 
2013-08-16 03:38:25 PM
Doesn't Daniel Tosh or some other standup have a bit about this?
 
2013-08-16 03:54:17 PM
I read that as AKC reporter, and thought, "wow, covering the American Kennel Club is an oddly specific beat."
 
2013-08-16 03:57:32 PM
I read the headline as KFC reporter.

/finger licking goooing to hell
 
2013-08-16 03:58:25 PM

OldManDownDRoad: Harry Freakstorm: I'd make the area a minefield before I released the location.  Plant them deep enough that the metal detectors would find them.

Digging that deep is too much like work. You need some of these:



The GGMI-43, invented by the clever Germans. The glass construction and chemical fuse make it pretty much invisible to most detectors. Added bonus: glass fragments are undetectable to x-rays.

There's even a video.


I can't believe how low some humans would sink, especially non-discriminatory weapons like this.

If it was up to me, ALL bombs would be banned, not just nuclear.
 
2013-08-16 04:08:21 PM
I bet the treasure is about some crap like "Life/Friends are your true treasures!"
 
2013-08-16 04:11:24 PM

generallyso: I began seeing the problems that come with aging some time ago. I was sick of leaving the garage door open overnight. I was sick of forgetting to zip up when I put on my pants. I was sick of forgetting the names of my best friends. I was sick of going downstairs and having no idea why. I was sick of watching a movie, going to my account on IMDB to type up a review and realizing I've already seen it and, worse, already written a review! I was sick of having to dig through the trash to find an envelope that was sent to me so I could remember my own address - especially since I lived in the same place for the last nine years!


I have to say that's about the point I'd be seriously thinking about checking out while I still had the cognitive capacity to do so.


I see no problem with his exit, in fact, that's how I would want to go. I'll read the whole article and website tonight, but sounds like he was moving on on his own terms with dignity.

You can't die/escape anyway. You just move on to another existence, all based on soul-specific lessons. I don't fear "death" in the least.
 
2013-08-16 04:14:02 PM
If all suicidal newspapermen are frustrated authors he could've written a book, like Kit Williams...
http://www.theguardian.com/artanddesign/2009/aug/20/kit-williams-gol de n-hare-masquerade
 
2013-08-16 04:53:28 PM
Mr. Manley's website says nothing about his burying a treasure in that park.  It has a paragraph stating that he bought a bunch of gold back before the bubble, and it appreciated in value, giving a bunch of numbers (which by the way, are inaccurate).  The then posts a picture of a park near his home and gives some coördinates.

This is interesting in that he was known to be somewhat intelligent and was very good with numbers.  He posts some information about how much his investment had appreciated, and gave some statistics that were off by $1,500 an ounce on gold and $1 on silver.  Very sloppy work for someone whose career involved manipulating numbers.  He then gives some coördinates but nowhere does he say, "here is where it can be found".

People who want to bury things and later dig them up generally do not leave them in a hole in the ground in the middle of the woods.  They put them in an out-of-the-way spot, to be sure, but one with distinct landmarks, and not ones that will disappear in a few years, like an oak tree or creek bend.  They use rock formations and bridges.  If the bugout/SHTF crowd is to be believed, the people put it in an area not near their home, but a place where they may be forced to evacuate to.

If I lived in the area and had the time and resources to devote to the matter, I would be concentrating on the paragraph in question on his website, and try to figure out if there were a different location that could be derived from the figures (faulty data) in that particular segment of his website.  Mr. Manley was from a different part of Kansas, and being able to derive map coördinates that more resembled the place of his birth might turn up something entertaining.

/dons tinfoil hat
 
2013-08-16 05:05:21 PM
I agree with him when he says he doesn't want to end up as an blabbering and slobbering old man in a wheelchair in a nursing home. There is no dignity in that. I saw my father go through that and the last years he didn't recognize anyone. I am not going out like that. Ain't happening. For me it is about quality of life not quantity.
 
2013-08-16 05:10:50 PM

The Glorified Jailer: I agree with him when he says he doesn't want to end up as an blabbering and slobbering old man in a wheelchair in a nursing home. There is no dignity in that. I saw my father go through that and the last years he didn't recognize anyone. I am not going out like that. Ain't happening. For me it is about quality of life not quantity.


I hear you. My brother died of ALS, took him nine years. Grandmother died of Alzheimer's, took her three years. Dad died of Parkinson's, all he could do for a year was lie in bed and stare at a TV. My mom didn't want any of that so when she got really sick, she checked out of the hospital AMA and went home to die in peace. My sister has a stash of morphine in case of a similar situation, I have a Walther .32 for the same reason.

Not going to lie in bed in my own shiat while nurses feed me through a tube.
 
2013-08-16 05:25:08 PM
Edit:  he was off by $150 an ounce on gold, not $1500.  Apparently, I'm the one that can't manipulate numbers.

Also, thanks to kona for the month's worth of TotalFark!
 
2013-08-16 05:39:33 PM

Grimble Crumble: Mr. Manley's website says nothing about his burying a treasure in that park.  It has a paragraph stating that he bought a bunch of gold back before the bubble, and it appreciated in value, giving a bunch of numbers (which by the way, are inaccurate).  The then posts a picture of a park near his home and gives some coördinates.

This is interesting in that he was known to be somewhat intelligent and was very good with numbers.  He posts some information about how much his investment had appreciated, and gave some statistics that were off by $1,500 an ounce on gold and $1 on silver.  Very sloppy work for someone whose career involved manipulating numbers.  He then gives some coördinates but nowhere does he say, "here is where it can be found".

People who want to bury things and later dig them up generally do not leave them in a hole in the ground in the middle of the woods.  They put them in an out-of-the-way spot, to be sure, but one with distinct landmarks, and not ones that will disappear in a few years, like an oak tree or creek bend.  They use rock formations and bridges.  If the bugout/SHTF crowd is to be believed, the people put it in an area not near their home, but a place where they may be forced to evacuate to.

If I lived in the area and had the time and resources to devote to the matter, I would be concentrating on the paragraph in question on his website, and try to figure out if there were a different location that could be derived from the figures (faulty data) in that particular segment of his website.  Mr. Manley was from a different part of Kansas, and being able to derive map coördinates that more resembled the place of his birth might turn up something entertaining.

/dons tinfoil hat


The GPS coordinates appear to be the location of where he committed suicide. He didn't want to cause undue mess, nor be discovered by anyone other than a trained emergency responder so he killed himself in the far corner of a parking lot by the police station right after calling them and telling them where to find him. A google map search on the GPS coords confirm this is the same spot:

http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:http://martinma nl eylifeanddeath.com/suicide_-_how_2

And yes, there is no mention of a buried treasure.
 
2013-08-16 05:42:35 PM
I felt pretty good about being prepared for economic collapse - the primary reason being all the gold and silver I owned. But, then one day I realized that all the gold and silver and guns and ammo and dried food and toilet paper in the world wouldn't prevent me from seeing the calamity with my own eyes - either ignoring other's plight or succumbing to it. And, that's something I decided I simply was not willing to live through.

www.bbc.co.uk

Knows his pain.
 
2013-08-16 05:54:18 PM
Keeve:
The GPS coordinates appear to be the location of where he committed suicide. He didn't want to cause undue mess, nor be discovered by anyone other than a trained emergency responder so he killed himself in the far corner of a parking lot by the police station right after calling them and telling them where to find him.

***

And yes, there isno mention of a buried treasure.



Different page of his website; different set of GPS coordinates; different location.

But you're correct, there's absolutely nothing mentioning a buried treasure.
 
2013-08-16 05:57:21 PM
No, all night pet emergency hospitals are more depressing than anything.
 
2013-08-16 06:25:48 PM
When I read that it was exactly at age 60, I knew that he got the idea from Star Trek TNG, and I was right =)

http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:http://martinma nl eylifeanddeath.com/why_age_60
 
2013-08-16 06:34:58 PM

muwaryer: Keeve:
The GPS coordinates appear to be the location of where he committed suicide. He didn't want to cause undue mess, nor be discovered by anyone other than a trained emergency responder so he killed himself in the far corner of a parking lot by the police station right after calling them and telling them where to find him.

***

And yes, there isno mention of a buried treasure.


Different page of his website; different set of GPS coordinates; different location.

But you're correct, there's absolutely nothing mentioning a buried treasure.


That is correct, the web page I was referring to was http://martinmanleylifeanddeath.com/suicide_preface .  I checked out the figures he gave and noticed they were substantially off, in fact there's a number of things on the website and from the news stories that don't seem to make much sense.

Maybe I shouldn't watch Elementary quite so much.
 
2013-08-16 08:10:00 PM

doyner: Or maybe, after reading this part:

I felt pretty good about being prepared for economic collapse - the primary reason being all the gold and silver I owned. But, then one day I realized that all the gold and silver and guns and ammo and dried food and toilet paper in the world wouldn't prevent me from seeing the calamity with my own eyes - either ignoring other's plight or succumbing to it. And, that's something I decided I simply was not willing to live through.

...I'm thinking he just couldn't listen to Glen Beck any more.


That's was tooooo funny.
 
2013-08-16 08:11:44 PM
i39.tinypic.com
 
2013-08-16 08:33:52 PM
that's a nice why to troll people when you're worm food.
I like that.
I'll remember that if I ever get around to writing a will.
 
2013-08-16 08:34:27 PM

Omahawg: that's a nice why to troll people when you're worm food.
I like that.
I'll remember that if I ever get around to writing a will.


nice way to, dumbass
 
2013-08-16 09:02:28 PM
To my loved ones,

I swallowed $15000 in cash and 75 gold coins. There's also $9000 worth of heroin (street value, not cop math) in an undisclosed body cavity. I would do a scavenger hunt map, but you can google the human digestive tract/body cavities pretty easily. Enjoy!

-megarian
 
2013-08-16 09:27:49 PM

offacue: No, all night pet emergency hospitals are more depressing than anything.


Why?

I mean, yeah, it sucks that a pet is injured, but at least there's a vet willing to treat the little guy.


megarian: To my loved ones,

I swallowed $15000 in cash and 75 gold coins. There's also $9000 worth of heroin (street value, not cop math) in an undisclosed body cavity. I would do a scavenger hunt map, but you can google the human digestive tract/body cavities pretty easily. Enjoy!

-megarian


...I need to go revise my suicide note template now.
 
2013-08-16 09:32:38 PM
Still a better love story than Twilight?
 
2013-08-16 09:34:51 PM
What a loser
 
2013-08-16 09:40:57 PM

antron: [i39.tinypic.com image 638x224]


awesome
 
2013-08-16 10:00:10 PM
It's sad but I see his point. Ultimately, it's his body and he has the right to this choice -- as long as he isn't taking anyone else with him.

Does anyone else have this song stuck in their head?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6E2hYDIFDIU

/My mother was a fan.
//Chose the version with the words to save everyone from having to look that up too.
 
2013-08-17 12:59:08 AM

TheShavingofOccam123: All he needed for suicide note:

--30--


Or perhaps...

CX-Alive, 3
I am not.
--30--
 
2013-08-17 04:57:11 AM

generallyso: I began seeing the problems that come with aging some time ago. I was sick of leaving the garage door open overnight. I was sick of forgetting to zip up when I put on my pants. I was sick of forgetting the names of my best friends. I was sick of going downstairs and having no idea why. I was sick of watching a movie, going to my account on IMDB to type up a review and realizing I've already seen it and, worse, already written a review! I was sick of having to dig through the trash to find an envelope that was sent to me so I could remember my own address - especially since I lived in the same place for the last nine years!


I have to say that's about the point I'd be seriously thinking about checking out while I still had the cognitive capacity to do so.


Yeah, it looks like he was in the early stages of Alzheimer's.  Probably didn't have too much time left before he would be unable to commit suicide.
 
2013-08-17 05:05:27 AM
Alex_Lee /My mother was a fan

of Sid's Version?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rDyb_alTkMQ
my mom was more into Marty Robbins...
 
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