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(Washington Post)   Police chief to clueless Washington, DC dumbasses: "You wouldn't go around flaunting $400 in cash in your hand, and that's what you're doing with your phone"   (washingtonpost.com ) divider line 135
    More: Dumbass, police chiefs, Metro, Metrorail, mobile devices, Metrobus  
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6610 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Aug 2013 at 11:12 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-08-16 11:38:18 AM  

Gwendolyn: montreal_medic: I never understood stealing electronics with gps, a camera, a persistent internet connection, and a preinstalled device finder app.

Could fenced/pawned/ebayed stolen phones bring in enough to be worth the risk? Seems like a wallet with a couple of 20s would be a better risk/benefit

I was robbed at gunpoint doing a home visit in DC. My phone and iPad were safely away in my backpack had all those things on them. The police made. Big show in the community right after and tracked down my backpack and some of the contents in a dumpster. However in regulars to the electronics they didn't do a damn thing. I gave them all the information and they basically said the kids would have already pawned things off to the next person and let it go.

I know why criminals in DC are bold enough to do this. It's because there is no real risk to them. I always hold my iPad with two hands on diagonal corners and grip it tighter any time we near a station but I know if someone takes it from me the police will be no damn help.


Maybe the police couldn't understand what you were telling them. Just a thought in regulars to your story.
 
2013-08-16 11:39:26 AM  

bunner: Beeblebrox: bunner: evaned: "don't flaunt your expensive things",

So, only use your mobile phone in the privacy of your own home?

But how will everyone at Starbucks know I have an iPhone 7SC!?!?!

Download .jpg of 7SC.  Print.  Glue to deck of cards.  Impress your friends safely.


Okay, I've gotten the first parts done.  Now I'm working on "friends".
 
2013-08-16 11:40:14 AM  

insano: Gwendolyn: montreal_medic: I never understood stealing electronics with gps, a camera, a persistent internet connection, and a preinstalled device finder app.

Could fenced/pawned/ebayed stolen phones bring in enough to be worth the risk? Seems like a wallet with a couple of 20s would be a better risk/benefit

I was robbed at gunpoint doing a home visit in DC. My phone and iPad were safely away in my backpack had all those things on them. The police made. Big show in the community right after and tracked down my backpack and some of the contents in a dumpster. However in regulars to the electronics they didn't do a damn thing. I gave them all the information and they basically said the kids would have already pawned things off to the next person and let it go.

I know why criminals in DC are bold enough to do this. It's because there is no real risk to them. I always hold my iPad with two hands on diagonal corners and grip it tighter any time we near a station but I know if someone takes it from me the police will be no damn help.

Maybe the police couldn't understand what you were telling them. Just a thought in regulars to your story.


Give her a break.  She's posting this from her iPad with both hands wrapped around it, for security.
 
2013-08-16 11:42:02 AM  

zedster: Dear METRO TRANSIT POLICE CHIEF,


You have 420 Police Officers at your disposal, use them.. YOUR ONLY JOB IS THE METRO. I mean DC has freaking LIBRARY POLICE, and Park Police, and City and Feds, your only job is the metro. If this a problem deal with it, increase police presence, have undercovers on the trains. It sounds like it's primarily the Red and Green/Yellow lines so crack down on those.

signed,
DC resident


Preeeeeeetty much this.

Don't blame the victims, Mr. Assclown Police Chief. Blame your inept staff.
 
2013-08-16 11:42:46 AM  

Gwendolyn: I know why criminals in DC are bold enough to do this. It's because there is no real risk to them. I always hold my iPad with two hands on diagonal corners and grip it tighter any time we near a station but I know if someone takes it from me the police will be no damn help.


There was a nice story a few months ago about an NYPD officer who was approached by a woman who told her her cellphone had been stolen on the subway. As I recall, the cop used his own phone to log in to her tracking software, followed the train until the guy got off, and caught him.

I'm speculating that she must have been incredibly hot.
 
2013-08-16 11:45:51 AM  

Gwendolyn: montreal_medic: I never understood stealing electronics with gps, a camera, a persistent internet connection, and a preinstalled device finder app.

Could fenced/pawned/ebayed stolen phones bring in enough to be worth the risk? Seems like a wallet with a couple of 20s would be a better risk/benefit

I was robbed at gunpoint doing a home visit in DC.  *snip*


Impossible.  Guns are banned in DC, there is NO WAY that someone could rob you at gunpoint within the city limits...
 
2013-08-16 11:46:17 AM  

montreal_medic: Wouldn't a pawnbroker offer a pittance for stolen phones? If someone can prove a phone is theirs, I imagine the pawnshop has to give it back


Legit pawnbrokers have to record the ID of anyone pawning something, and in some locales a thumbprint is required and they even send the serial numbers of high-end stuff directly to the cops. So unless you have a pawnbroker who's willing to look the other way, you typically wouldn't pawn something like that.
 
2013-08-16 11:48:27 AM  

neversubmit: Molavian: I don't have a cellphone theft problem, but I can shoot you in the face for trying to steal it.

Now I want to steal your phone, I got... issues.

 
2013-08-16 11:49:47 AM  

bongmiester: he's right


She, and no she's not.  They said that during the height of the Roman empire a woman could walk alone on the imperial roads  from Gaul to Rome with a sackful of gold coins in perfect safety.

It 2013 and I expect the same thing to be true of the capital city of the greatest nation on earth.   Especially one so festoon with cameras that they are even installing them on STOP SIGNS now.  Telling people that they should be afraid to have their phone in their hands while travelling essentially defeats the entire purpose of having a mobile phone, now doesn't it?
 
2013-08-16 11:56:02 AM  
My work international phone (iPhone 4S) was pickpocketed on the subway in Brussels.  I used my own phone to e-mail our IS guy to tell him what happened.  Within 15 minutes the stolen phone was shut off.  There's no way they got through the layers of security on that phone to do anythig useful with it before it was a brick.  And I know who did it.  They work in teams.  You would never suspect the guy who was standing behind me.  Older guy - in his 60s, well-dressed.  He was the only person that could have done it.

The point isn't to share a CSB, it's to let you know that you can't judge the book by the cover - take precautions and mitigate your risk.
 
2013-08-16 11:56:32 AM  

Gwendolyn: montreal_medic: I never understood stealing electronics with gps, a camera, a persistent internet connection, and a preinstalled device finder app.

Could fenced/pawned/ebayed stolen phones bring in enough to be worth the risk? Seems like a wallet with a couple of 20s would be a better risk/benefit

I was robbed at gunpoint doing a home visit in DC. My phone and iPad were safely away in my backpack had all those things on them. The police made. Big show in the community right after and tracked down my backpack and some of the contents in a dumpster. However in regulars to the electronics they didn't do a damn thing. I gave them all the information and they basically said the kids would have already pawned things off to the next person and let it go.

I know why criminals in DC are bold enough to do this. It's because there is no real risk to them. I always hold my iPad with two hands on diagonal corners and grip it tighter any time we near a station but I know if someone takes it from me the police will be no damn help.


Sounds like you'd be better off dropping or attempting to break it if someone tries to steal it, then they'd leave it, and at least you'd get the insurance to get a new device.

/likes his old flip style phone, no one would try to steal it
 
2013-08-16 11:57:22 AM  
Yet another reason a $20 flip phone is just better.
 
2013-08-16 11:57:30 AM  

Magorn: bongmiester: he's right

She, and no she's not.  They said that during the height of the Roman empire a woman could walk alone on the imperial roads  from Gaul to Rome with a sackful of gold coins in perfect safety.

It 2013 and I expect the same thing to be true of the capital city of the greatest nation on earth.   Especially one so festoon with cameras that they are even installing them on STOP SIGNS now.  Telling people that they should be afraid to have their phone in their hands while travelling essentially defeats the entire purpose of having a mobile phone, now doesn't it?


So the 5% of the empire that were actually citizens used free bread and entertainment to keep the masses down.  And they put together ethnically-distinct army units to patrol other parts of the empire.  And were willing to enforce summary execution for theft.  We could do that too.  But I don't exactly think that's the kind of society you want to have, is it?
 
2013-08-16 11:57:55 AM  

montreal_medic: Gwendolyn: montreal_medic: I never understood stealing electronics with gps, a camera, a persistent internet connection, and a preinstalled device finder app.

Could fenced/pawned/ebayed stolen phones bring in enough to be worth the risk? Seems like a wallet with a couple of 20s would be a better risk/benefit

I was robbed at gunpoint doing a home visit in DC. My phone and iPad were safely away in my backpack had all those things on them. The police made. Big show in the community right after and tracked down my backpack and some of the contents in a dumpster. However in regulars to the electronics they didn't do a damn thing. I gave them all the information and they basically said the kids would have already pawned things off to the next person and let it go.

I know why criminals in DC are bold enough to do this. It's because there is no real risk to them. I always hold my iPad with two hands on diagonal corners and grip it tighter any time we near a station but I know if someone takes it from me the police will be no damn help.

Glad you're ok - That's crazy.

Wouldn't a pawnbroker offer a pittance for stolen phones? If someone can prove a phone is theirs, I imagine the pawnshop has to give it back (I have no illusions that anyone would go after them for trafficking in stolen goods, that would make too much sense) and they are not in the business of losing money. Especially given how easy they are to track and remotely brick, and how cheap they are when subsidized by a carrier, who would pay money for a sketchy used phone without knowing if you would be confronted by the real owner or have already been turned into a paperweight. I know I wouldnt pay $50 for a questionable iPhone or Android when I could get a new legit one for about the same or less. So how could a broker, given all the risks of having traceable stolen inventory (unlike tvs and the like which are essentially untraceable unless you keep the serial numbers and happen to stumble into them) offer more ...


Wipe and restore and all traces of the previous owner are gone.  When I was mugged the police didn't care to take down the serial number so it was a moot point.  It never showed up on find my phone (but they probably wiped it before I had a chance to check).

Looking forward to iOS7 and it's ability to require a password even after a restore has been done.
 
2013-08-16 11:58:02 AM  
Easy to set up a sting.

Fast movers with tazers and radios. No mercy. Done.

/Taz them bro!
 
2013-08-16 11:58:23 AM  

BPP

Black peoples profit

 
2013-08-16 12:01:53 PM  
Smartphones, even and especially expensive ones, are commonplace items now, and not just for rich people. Using one in public is not "flaunting $400 in cash", it's being a farking human being in 2013.

It should be reasonably safe to use such devices in public. Of course theft victims should take precautions. But it is unbelievably disrespectful and lazy of the police to blame people for having the temerity to do everyday things in the possible presence of thieves.
 
2013-08-16 12:02:38 PM  
I just did a slutwalk in dc because of law enforcement blaming the victim
they still aren't learning
the unwillingness of the courts here to sentence people for things that aren't political is part of the problem
all chiefs are hired because they are political and status quo instead of talented
I'm in the mix in this federal crap city,
 nobody will give a shiat about your gear unless it happens to the wife or child of a rich political animal
 
2013-08-16 12:03:15 PM  
"You wouldn't go around flaunting $400 in cash in your hand, and that's what you're doing with your phone," the chief said.

If a wad of cash played music and let me read books and browse the internet, I would.  Idiot police chief makes bad analogy instead of doing his job.  That makes me feel safer when I take the metro in to work.
 
2013-08-16 12:04:01 PM  
Pockafrusta
Easy to set up a sting.
Fast movers with tazers and radios. No mercy. Done.
/Taz them bro!


Seconded. And unlike those bogus wallet shakedowns, or questionable police bait car scams, people would love police doing this type of morality test.
 
2013-08-16 12:08:22 PM  

Enemabag Jones: Seconded. And unlike those bogus wallet shakedowns, or questionable police bait car scams, people would love police doing this type of morality test.


Yup.
Hell, if a few of those 400-odd Metro cops had been in the station for the first video, maybe you wouldn't be seeing the guy run an unmolested marathon all the way through it.
 
2013-08-16 12:08:53 PM  
montreal_medic
I never understood stealing electronics with gps, a camera, a persistent internet connection, and a preinstalled device finder app.
Could fenced/pawned/ebayed stolen phones bring in enough to be worth the risk? Seems like a wallet with a couple of 20s would be a better risk/benefit

Any more stupid then copper scroungers tearing up a house for their next meth fix?
 
2013-08-16 12:10:53 PM  
Wait 'til the cops, the feds and your bank start telling you how much cash, if any, you're allowed to take from your accounts and stockpile at home.  "whatcha need all that cash for, terr'ist?  You buyin' C4 with it from terr'ists, terr'ist?"
 
2013-08-16 12:13:48 PM  

evaned: devildog123: Hey!  We don't blame the victim in this country.  If you want to wander around with a big wad of cash, or a fancy cell phone in your hand, through crowded, criminal infested metro stations, you should be able to, and no one should be allowed to judge you.  It is no one's fault but the criminal's.

There's a difference between saying "doing these things increase your probability of being a crime victim" and "these things make it so you deserve it". Saying "be aware of your surroundings", "don't flaunt your expensive things", etc. is the former. Saying "she was asking for it" is the latter.


Try telling some ladies they need to be aware of their surroundings and you'll get swarmed with people telling you to stop blaming the victims.
 
2013-08-16 12:14:05 PM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: DROxINxTHExWIND: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: DROxINxTHExWIND: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: You wouldn't go out at night dressed in sexually flattering clothing, would you ladies?


I take it you've never been to a nightclub.

Not an "hip hop" night


That's a shame. Your mother can really twerk. You should show up one night to support her.


/Low hanging fruit

How's your dad, by the way? Oh, that's right....


24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-08-16 12:15:02 PM  
I'm not flaunting $400, I'm getting home early to see my kids because I can answer a critical by 2 minute question if it comes up on the analysis due tomorrow. Add up the several hundred hours of free time I've gotten from being able to take the occasional call on a train platform and I'm willing to risk the occasional phone theft.

They cite a 2 week crime spree of 40 thefts - out of 8 million passenger trips. Not all those passengers used their iPhones, but risk/reward I don't have a hard choice here.
 
2013-08-16 12:15:38 PM  
Yeah. Because you can't even get the DC metro police to even patrol and ticket people playing music, eating or not committing crimes themselves (like getting busted while on the clock trying to get a prostitute) you think they have time for this?
 
2013-08-16 12:17:50 PM  
Remember guys.  You have to be the baddest motherf*ker in the room.  Let people know you're a success.

Ladies?  Somebody is trying to tell YOU that YOU should do something?  That's oppressive!  You're being insulted by misogynists!  Get your b*tch on and straighten them out, gurrrl!

And always remember, trust the police and do whatever criminals say for your own safety!

Oh, and make sure all of your transactions are safely recorded by only using debit and credit cards.  For freedom.  This may be the first time in history that the sheep actually not only drive themselves and the butcher to the slaughterhouse, but pay for the gas and tolls.
 
2013-08-16 12:18:14 PM  

natas6.0: I just did a slutwalk in dc because of law enforcement blaming the victim


Sounds like the sort of protest I would like to be involved with.
 
2013-08-16 12:19:38 PM  

bunner: Remember guys.  You have to be the baddest motherf*ker in the room.  Let people know you're a success.

Ladies?  Somebody is trying to tell YOU that YOU should do something?  That's oppressive!  You're being insulted by misogynists!  Get your b*tch on and straighten them out, gurrrl!

And always remember, trust the police and do whatever criminals say for your own safety!

Oh, and make sure all of your transactions are safely recorded by only using debit and credit cards.  For freedom.  This may be the first time in history that the sheep actually not only drive themselves and the butcher to the slaughterhouse, but pay for the gas and tolls.


Help! Help! I'm being oppressed!
 
2013-08-16 12:21:42 PM  

for good or for awesome: bunner: Remember guys.  You have to be the baddest motherf*ker in the room.  Let people know you're a success.

Ladies?  Somebody is trying to tell YOU that YOU should do something?  That's oppressive!  You're being insulted by misogynists!  Get your b*tch on and straighten them out, gurrrl!

And always remember, trust the police and do whatever criminals say for your own safety!

Oh, and make sure all of your transactions are safely recorded by only using debit and credit cards.  For freedom.  This may be the first time in history that the sheep actually not only drive themselves and the butcher to the slaughterhouse, but pay for the gas and tolls.

Help! Help! I'm being oppressed!


Yes!  by the sekrit muzlim terr'ists who are dealing in nefarious transactions!  You better give us all your bank and phone records!  Oh, wait.. sorry.  We already have them.  Now pull that skirt down over your knees and hide your phone, you enabler.
 
2013-08-16 12:21:51 PM  
FTA: "Get your head out of your iPhone," Metro Transit Police Chief Ron Pavlik said Thursday during a news conference to talk about the increase in grab-and-run crime.

To quote Red in "Shawshank Redemption": That's goddamn right.

Seriously, if I had a dollar for every time I saw someone blather on their cellphone and ignoring their surroundings, I'd be Bill motherfarking Gates by now.
 
2013-08-16 12:24:48 PM  

bunner: Remember guys.  You have to be the baddest motherf*ker in the room.  Let people know you're a success.

Ladies?  Somebody is trying to tell YOU that YOU should do something?  That's oppressive!  You're being insulted by misogynists!  Get your b*tch on and straighten them out, gurrrl!

And always remember, trust the police and do whatever criminals say for your own safety!

Oh, and make sure all of your transactions are safely recorded by only using debit and credit cards.  For freedom.  This may be the first time in history that the sheep actually not only drive themselves and the butcher to the slaughterhouse, but pay for the gas and tolls.


farm6.staticflickr.com
 
2013-08-16 12:26:21 PM  

Rwa2play: FTA: "Get your head out of your iPhone," Metro Transit Police Chief Ron Pavlik said Thursday during a news conference to talk about the increase in grab-and-run crime.

To quote Red in "Shawshank Redemption": That's goddamn right.

Seriously, if I had a dollar for every time I saw someone blather on their cellphone and ignoring their surroundings, I'd be Bill motherfarking Gates by now.


Are people still walking into fountains?  I hope so because that shiat is funny.
 
2013-08-16 12:26:22 PM  

Rwa2play: Seriously, if I had a dollar for every time I saw someone blather on their cellphone and ignoring their surroundings, I'd be Bill motherfarking Gates by now.


That's because, even after all the '80s consumer whore, you are what you own malarkey got kicked to the curb, deservedly, people still think that those who observe them doing their little "ekkyoo me, I'm on my PHONE" fandango are just impressed pissless with how interesting their lives must be.
 
2013-08-16 12:26:53 PM  

devildog123: Hey!  We don't blame the victim in this country.  If you want to wander around with a big wad of cash, or a fancy cell phone in your hand, through crowded, criminal infested metro stations, you should be able to, and no one should be allowed to judge you.  It is no one's fault but the criminal's.


And women who wear skimpy mini-skirts and get drunk at frat parties?

/Yes, I detect your sarcasm.  :-)
 
2013-08-16 12:27:24 PM  
Inchoate:

img.fark.net
You have no idea how quickly.
 
2013-08-16 12:30:18 PM  
Washington DC Dumbasses reply to the Chief of Police:

Our shoes cost more than that. Do you expect us to go barefoot?.

If you're looking for my Bruno Maglis, you'll find them lodging between your buttocks, Chief.
 
2013-08-16 12:31:29 PM  
This is why phones should have a remote Taser function.
 
2013-08-16 12:32:44 PM  

Your Average Witty Fark User: zedster: Dear METRO TRANSIT POLICE CHIEF,


You have 420 Police Officers at your disposal, use them.. YOUR ONLY JOB IS THE METRO. I mean DC has freaking LIBRARY POLICE, and Park Police, and City and Feds, your only job is the metro. If this a problem deal with it, increase police presence, have undercovers on the trains. It sounds like it's primarily the Red and Green/Yellow lines so crack down on those.

signed,
DC resident

Preeeeeeetty much this.

Don't blame the victims, Mr. Assclown Police Chief. Blame your inept staff.


I hope you're being sarcastic.
 
2013-08-16 12:34:14 PM  
They should have a function that sets them on fire remotely.  I mean, it's not like the phones are the cash cow, the airtime, apps and crap that it does is the cash cow.  G4 phones should be 10.99 and come with a keychain trigger for the "Steal this, f*ckwad" pyro app.
 
2013-08-16 12:37:43 PM  
Do these farkers on here whining about how they shouldn't have to worry about holding their phone in their hand whilst wearing earplugs on a crowded train with people of a lower socio-economic background in proximity also lock their doors at night or when they leave?  Because they shouldn't then.

I can't believe the lack of common sense in the Me-Generation.
 
2013-08-16 12:39:43 PM  

Enemabag Jones: Pockafrusta
Easy to set up a sting.
Fast movers with tazers and radios. No mercy. Done.
/Taz them bro!

Seconded. And unlike those bogus wallet shakedowns, or questionable police bait car scams, people would love police doing this type of morality test.


I would. Why wouldn't you?
 
2013-08-16 12:41:25 PM  
So glad I don't have to work downtown with protection like that.
 
2013-08-16 12:42:25 PM  

shaddix: Your Average Witty Fark User: zedster: Dear METRO TRANSIT POLICE CHIEF,


You have 420 Police Officers at your disposal, use them.. YOUR ONLY JOB IS THE METRO. I mean DC has freaking LIBRARY POLICE, and Park Police, and City and Feds, your only job is the metro. If this a problem deal with it, increase police presence, have undercovers on the trains. It sounds like it's primarily the Red and Green/Yellow lines so crack down on those.

signed,
DC resident

Preeeeeeetty much this.

Don't blame the victims, Mr. Assclown Police Chief. Blame your inept staff.

I hope you're being sarcastic.


Why would that be sarcasm.  Metro's police is a joke, they let one of their own embezzle enough money that it's still uncounted but at least $450,000, have stopped even posting a token presence to enforce what should be revenue generating violations (eating/drinking, music, spitting) and their only response to rising larceny within their very small jurisdictions is don't farking entertain yourself with the smartphone you likely pruchased for commuting, when a cop in each station would make the problem trivial to enforce (most stations have a very small number of exits and all have British levels of CCTVs).
 
2013-08-16 12:43:56 PM  
jst3p
I would. Why wouldn't you?


I am busy...reread why I said, or find another mark.
 
2013-08-16 12:45:44 PM  

Enemabag Jones: jst3p
I would. Why wouldn't you?

I am busy...reread why I said, or find another mark.


Sorry, though it was sarcasm. Why do you have a problem with the bait cars though?
 
2013-08-16 12:46:27 PM  

Beeblebrox: Rwa2play: FTA: "Get your head out of your iPhone," Metro Transit Police Chief Ron Pavlik said Thursday during a news conference to talk about the increase in grab-and-run crime.

To quote Red in "Shawshank Redemption": That's goddamn right.

Seriously, if I had a dollar for every time I saw someone blather on their cellphone and ignoring their surroundings, I'd be Bill motherfarking Gates by now.

Are people still walking into fountains?  I hope so because that shiat is funny.


Well, maybe not fountains.  Them tripping over stuff that they would've seen from a block away were they not focused on who they were talking too still makes me either chuckle or roll my eyes in "WTF?!"

bunner: That's because, even after all the '80s consumer whore, you are what you own malarkey got kicked to the curb, deservedly, people still think that those who observe them doing their little "ekkyoo me, I'm on my PHONE" fandango are just impressed pissless with how interesting their lives must be.


The people who cross the street, while the light's against them and as a car is turning the corner in their direction still gets me.  Surprised more people don't get run over in that fashion.
 
2013-08-16 12:46:52 PM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: You wouldn't go out at night dressed in sexually flattering clothing, would you ladies?


FTFA:"You wouldn't go around flaunting $400 in cash in your hand, and that's what you're doing with your phone," the chief said.

I was going to ask how is this different than blaming women for sexual assaults if they dress slutty?

Maybe DC cops should set up a sting.  Make a taser look like a iPhone.  Let a thief snatch it then ZAP.
 
2013-08-16 12:47:55 PM  

vento: My work international phone (iPhone 4S) was pickpocketed on the subway in Brussels.  I used my own phone to e-mail our IS guy to tell him what happened.  Within 15 minutes the stolen phone was shut off.  There's no way they got through the layers of security on that phone to do anythig useful with it before it was a brick.  And I know who did it.  They work in teams.  You would never suspect the guy who was standing behind me.  Older guy - in his 60s, well-dressed.  He was the only person that could have done it.

The point isn't to share a CSB, it's to let you know that you can't judge the book by the cover - take precautions and mitigate your risk.


European pickpockets are the worst.  But the absolute highlight of my vacation was when a guy realized a teenager had stolen his wallet and chased after him.  Another man on the sidewalk ahead recognized what was going on, excused himself from his conversation, and clothesline the punk as he ran by.  They two men spoke for a moment, then both beat the piss out of the pickpocket. Stripped him down to his underwear, threw his clothes away, and left him draped over a fence.  They then shook hands and went their separate ways.  I'm not really one for vigilante justice, but that was farking poetic.
 
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