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(Above the Law)   Woman pays for school by starring in critically acclaimed films like Assturbators 2   (abovethelaw.com) divider line 78
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15874 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Aug 2013 at 7:00 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



78 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-08-15 03:26:45 PM
a google image search turns up... uhhh she is a beautiful woman. with big.. eyes. pretty eyes.
 
2013-08-15 05:24:40 PM
I thought it was how someone in TFD got all the crap on their wishlist
 
2013-08-15 06:05:58 PM
That's not unusual... Most people who go to law school get screwed.
 
2013-08-15 07:03:39 PM

Theaetetus: That's not unusual... Most people who go to law school get screwed.


The benefit of porno is the screwing is consentual and time limited.
 
2013-08-15 07:04:05 PM
Hey, she needed the W-2.
 
2013-08-15 07:04:58 PM
Most lawyers, whores, etc.
 
2013-08-15 07:05:28 PM
ts1.mm.bing.net

I want her to educate me.
 
2013-08-15 07:05:52 PM
I know a lawyer who's actual, honest-to-God birth name is a stripper name.
 
2013-08-15 07:06:25 PM
We're talking lawyers.
 
2013-08-15 07:07:41 PM
What, she was too good for Butthole Barristers 6?
 
2013-08-15 07:08:57 PM
Just about every crap job you work in college is you selling yourself for money. At least she was able to make them pay top dollar.
 
2013-08-15 07:09:08 PM
Everyone's a critic.
 
2013-08-15 07:10:27 PM
"Law school tuition has skyrocketed in recent years, and most people wind up financing their legal education by taking out up to six figures in loans to cover the cost of attendnace."(sp not mine)

That's because education, like medicine, is another cash cow designed to move wealth upchain.

The benefits are arguable, and it's necessity is implicitly touted as crucial, mostly by people getting fat quan from the con.

Whatever the hell you were told the world works like 30 years ago, it does not work like that, now.

i.imgur.com
 
2013-08-15 07:12:15 PM
Expensive school loans are lesson number one for Financial Enslavement 101. There's a gaping hole in the system, with an orgy of casualties falling trap to it every day.

Sounds like she got the point.
 
2013-08-15 07:12:20 PM
Assturbators 2 was a serious step down from its predecessor, the focus on character was lost in exchange for action and explosions.  But that's Hollywood...
 
2013-08-15 07:12:21 PM
I thought I was buying that movie the other day but I accidentally grabbed a copy of Asspotaters off the shelf.
My kids were horrified by it.
 
2013-08-15 07:13:00 PM

FrancoFile: I know a lawyer who's actual, honest-to-God birth name is a stripper name.


A partner at one of the larger law firms in my city is named Crystal Rose.
 
2013-08-15 07:13:41 PM

munko: a google image search turns up... uhhh she is a beautiful woman. with big.. eyes. pretty eyes.


Huge tracts of land, as well.
 
2013-08-15 07:16:36 PM
www.wallsave.com
I'm OK with this.
 
2013-08-15 07:18:23 PM

freewill: [www.wallsave.com image 850x637]
I'm OK with this.


She looks like the robot chick from battlestar, only with massive tracts of land.

gbatemp.net
 
2013-08-15 07:19:25 PM

FunkOut: What, she was too good for Butthole Barristers 6?


Keep your stick on the ice.
 
2013-08-15 07:20:00 PM
I'd assturbate her, if ya know what I mean.

And I hope you do, because I have no clue.
 
2013-08-15 07:21:45 PM
dirty her and bring her to my chambers.
 
2013-08-15 07:22:00 PM
She is very nice looking aside from a little hyperacuity near where her femur and tibia meet
 
2013-08-15 07:22:13 PM

tetsoushima: She looks like the robot chick from battlestar, only with massive tracts of land.


You should check out her videos on Google, sans SafeSearch. She's old-school. Whipping other blondes while they perform fellatio, the classy stuff.
 
2013-08-15 07:22:54 PM

scottydoesntknow: I'd assturbate her, if ya know what I mean.

And I hope you do, because I have no clue.


Someone needs to draw a diagram.

Where's a miss toffee of the cowboys but she's a girl?
 
2013-08-15 07:22:56 PM

scottydoesntknow: I'd assturbate her, if ya know what I mean.

And I hope you do, because I have no clue.


Don't do that while I'm drinking coffee

/just learned you absorb caffeine faster through the sinuses
 
2013-08-15 07:23:51 PM
Well she couldn't prostitute herself, she was trying to become a barrister, not a solicitor...
 
2013-08-15 07:25:09 PM
I'll be in my bunk
 
2013-08-15 07:25:53 PM

jakrabit: I'll be in my bunk


Ocupado!!!
 
2013-08-15 07:29:03 PM
Wow, smart AND classy.

My kind of woman.
 
2013-08-15 07:31:03 PM
Don't see what the big deal is that she did porn to pay for college. It's legal and there's nothing to be ashamed of.
 
2013-08-15 07:34:21 PM

skinink: Don't see what the big deal is that she did porn to pay for college. It's legal and there's nothing to be ashamed of.


There's no big deal.  The lady is now past her porn days and is promoting her book and consultancy services.  TFA is a puff piece.
 
2013-08-15 07:34:25 PM

munko: a google image search turns up... uhhh she is a beautiful woman. with big.. eyes. pretty eyes.


Yeah, nice body. Too bad about the duck lips.
 
2013-08-15 07:38:19 PM
This is REALLY old news to anyone who lived in the Philadelphia area back in the 1990s.
 
2013-08-15 07:38:45 PM
Came across a name of a customer where I work whose name is Krystal Klits...

/goes along with Galaxy, October, and Uranus. Yep all of those I've seen.
//none as good as Honeyboy.
 
2013-08-15 07:42:27 PM
" Zdrok graduated from Villanova Law in 1997 and later earned a Ph.D. in clinical psychology from Drexel in 2003."

Pretty impressive.   More power to her.  I think it would be cool if she decided to go back to the clinical or legal field later on.
 
2013-08-15 07:45:30 PM

skinink: Don't see what the big deal is that she did porn to pay for college. It's legal and there's nothing to be ashamed of.


Be 100% honest: Would you have a negative emotional response if you found out your Mother/Daughter/Sister/wife/ect had done porn?

I'm pretty sure I would. Not a total catastrophe, but if give the choice I'd prefer they didn't.
 
2013-08-15 07:47:53 PM
Does she work pro-boner?
i23.photobucket.com
 
2013-08-15 07:51:17 PM

Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: Assturbators 2 was a serious step down from its predecessor, the focus on character was lost in exchange for action and explosions.  But that's Hollywood...


Ass explosions?
 
2013-08-15 07:54:25 PM

skinink: Don't see what the big deal is...


If I had to guess, I would say probably just that very few professional porn stars have multiple degrees, including law and a clinical doctorate, are a best selling author, and speak five languages.   I don't think one editorial blog post is a "big deal", but it is an little interesting story.
 
2013-08-15 08:00:15 PM
Assturbators 2 was such an unnecessary sequel.  I mean, the first Assturbators wrapped up that story so nicely, culminating in that epic DVDA sequence.  Assturbators 2 just felt like a total rehash.

Plus, I'm sorry, but Jackie Mason just is not a proper substitute for Rodney Dangerfield.
 
2013-08-15 08:01:05 PM
Relax
Turn around and take my hand.

(For the interest rate on my loan)
 
2013-08-15 08:01:05 PM
Assturbators assacred the genre.
 
2013-08-15 08:04:23 PM

megarian: Relax
Turn around and take my hand.

(For the interest rate on my loan)


*takes hand, places handcuff on wrist*

You're mine now. You're going to see some things.

I won't apologize for them.
 
2013-08-15 08:05:41 PM

jake_lex: Assturbators 2 was such an unnecessary sequel.  I mean, the first Assturbators wrapped up that story so nicely, culminating in that epic DVDA sequence.  Assturbators 2 just felt like a total rehash.

Plus, I'm sorry, but Jackie Mason just is not a proper substitute for Rodney Dangerfield.


It was definitely the Blues Brothers 2000 of porn.
 
2013-08-15 08:07:48 PM

gweilo8888: megarian: Relax
Turn around and take my hand.

(For the interest rate on my loan)

*takes hand, places handcuff on wrist*

You're mine now. You're going to see some things.

I won't apologize for them.


I LOVE ROAD/BASEMENT TRIPS!!!
 
2013-08-15 08:10:12 PM
I've know some whores in the legal industry, at least this one isn't a liar as well.
 
2013-08-15 08:11:21 PM

Theaetetus: That's not unusual... Most people who go to law school get screwed.


True, but those that go to law school are usually the screwers, not the screwees.
 
2013-08-15 08:11:53 PM

megarian: I LOVE ROAD/BASEMENT TRIPS!!!


Well then let's get this show on the road/basement!!!

/is another sentence that has never been said in the history of time
 
2013-08-15 08:11:55 PM
Eh, she looks like every other used up hooker with fake blonde hair, too much plastic surgery and makeup who picked 2 of the worst post graduate degrees she could find.

/pass even after drinking
 
2013-08-15 08:12:58 PM

megarian: gweilo8888: megarian: Relax
Turn around and take my hand.

(For the interest rate on my loan)

*takes hand, places handcuff on wrist*

You're mine now. You're going to see some things.

I won't apologize for them.

I LOVE ROAD/BASEMENT TRIPS!!!


moviemezzanine.com
Me too.
 
2013-08-15 08:13:54 PM
"If posing for Playboy doesn't get her into
a top med school, what good will studying do?"
  -- Playboy writer
 
2013-08-15 08:14:42 PM

tetsoushima: [moviemezzanine.com image 720x388]
Me too.


FARK! Why'd you show her my picture before I got started?
 
2013-08-15 08:18:56 PM

Omahawg: [ts1.mm.bing.net image 195x300]

I want her to educate me.


She won't be educating you from that end.... try the other end.
 
2013-08-15 08:27:27 PM

FarkinHostile: skinink: Don't see what the big deal is that she did porn to pay for college. It's legal and there's nothing to be ashamed of.

Be 100% honest: Would you have a negative emotional response if you found out your Mother/Daughter/Sister/wife/ect had done porn?

I'm pretty sure I would. Not a total catastrophe, but if give the choice I'd prefer they didn't.


Why are you looking for controversy? Anything a close relative does will emotionally affect those that care for them. But also a lot of stuff is no one's business.

This lady is employed, doing well, and hasn't harmed anyone.
 
2013-08-15 08:30:13 PM
Interestingly they don't mention whether or not if she ever got a job as a lawyer.  Them and accountant firms are pretty picky on your past
 
2013-08-15 08:32:03 PM
Your honor, the defense is spent.
 
2013-08-15 08:33:02 PM
Step 1) Put tits on a catfish
Step 2) Insert penis
 
2013-08-15 08:33:28 PM

gweilo8888: tetsoushima: [moviemezzanine.com image 720x388]
Me too.

FARK! Why'd you show her my picture before I got started?


*shrug*

I like lotion. Makes me smell like Tahitian Nights or something.
 
2013-08-15 08:35:57 PM

The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves: Your honor, the defense is spent.


Guilty of showing feelings of an almost human nature.

This will not do!
 
2013-08-15 08:44:58 PM

skinink: Why are you looking for controversy? Anything a close relative does will emotionally affect those that care for them. But also a lot of stuff is no one's business.


I honestly am not looking for controversy, but when you said it was nothing to be ashamed of, my first thought was "Well, if I wouldn't want my family to know about it, then it IS something to be ashamed of." Now, I personally don't have any issues with what consenting adults do behind closed doors, but thats the whole point: it's nasty, graphic, raw sex "in public", if you will. I'm a big fan of hot sex, but I wouldn't want my practices to be seen by my family. I would be ashamed if my mother walked in on me tonguing my tied up GF's asshole, while getting blown while wearing a vibrating cock ring, nevermind if I made a video of it and made it public and she found out.

I guess I'm just old fashioned like that. Your personal mileage may vary.
 
2013-08-15 08:52:45 PM
So f*cking what?  She makes an assload of bank doing something she likes, literally.

We should all be so lucky.
 
2013-08-15 08:54:12 PM

megarian: *shrug*

I like lotion. Makes me smell like Tahitian Nights or something.


Lotion. Uh huh, yeah. That's totally what it is. That's my story, and it's sticking to y... err, I'm sticking to it.
 
2013-08-15 09:42:57 PM

rikkards: Interestingly they don't mention whether or not if she ever got a job as a lawyer.  Them and accountant firms are pretty picky on your past


Ha ha because both those professions have the highest standards of character ha ha

/how exactly does one "assturbate" anyway
 
2013-08-15 09:52:10 PM

Suckmaster Burstingfoam: /how exactly does one "assturbate" anyway


Are you a chick or a dude, because who answers depends on this.
 
2013-08-15 09:53:24 PM
Good for her.  She moved from being a useless, disgusting whore to putting out porn.  We need to encourage more lawyers to take this career path
 
2013-08-15 10:00:20 PM
i wouldn't call her a porn star.  she's a nude model who did a handful of movies.  if you look up her scenes on iafd, all her scenes are solo masturbation scenes or softcore lesbian stuff.  she's never had sex with a man on camera.
 
2013-08-15 10:14:20 PM

Molavian: Suckmaster Burstingfoam: /how exactly does one "assturbate" anyway

Are you a chick or a dude, because who answers depends on this.


What, is it an allusion to penetrative stimulation of the anus, with pretend sexual arousal purported to be caused by same?
 
2013-08-15 10:22:37 PM

Glockenspiel Hero: Good for her.  She moved from being a useless, disgusting whore to putting out porn.  We need to encourage more some lawyers to take this career path


YES
abovethelaw.com

NO
www.hollywoodreporter.com
 
2013-08-15 10:31:57 PM
They made a sequel to  Assturbators? Man, Hollywood really is out of ideas.
 
2013-08-15 10:42:00 PM

bunner: "Law school tuition has skyrocketed in recent years, and most people wind up financing their legal education by taking out up to six figures in loans to cover the cost of attendnace."(sp not mine)

That's because education, like medicine, is another cash cow designed to move wealth upchain.

The benefits are arguable, and it's necessity is implicitly touted as crucial, mostly by people getting fat quan from the con.

Whatever the hell you were told the world works like 30 years ago, it does not work like that, now.


Unfortunately degree inflation has taken over.
 
2013-08-15 10:44:43 PM

Mad_Radhu: Just about every crap job you work in college is you selling yourself for money. At least she was able to make them pay top dollar.


FTFY.
 
2013-08-16 03:30:28 AM

Glockenspiel Hero: Good for her.  She moved from being a useless, disgusting whore to putting out porn.  We need to encourage more lawyers to take this career path


QFT.
 
2013-08-16 09:48:38 AM
So she will be able to pay for law school, but because of her brilliant decision to take it up the ass and probably everywhere else, no esteemed law firm would ever hire her. Her future law career is doomed.
 
2013-08-16 04:01:07 PM

jake_lex: Assturbators 2 was such an unnecessary sequel.  I mean, the first Assturbators wrapped up that story so nicely, culminating in that epic DVDA sequence.  Assturbators 2 just felt like a total rehash.

Plus, I'm sorry, but Jackie Mason just is not a proper substitute for Rodney Dangerfield.


And it just wasn't the same without Bill Murray.
 
2013-08-16 09:07:43 PM

inglixthemad: Unfortunately degree inflation use any previously thought  to be erudite and above board institution as a money crowbar has taken over.


fify
 
2013-08-16 09:17:44 PM
The Brave New World

~A one act play by Bunner~


"Well, we got all the foam at the mouth types still misting up on cue whenever anybody says "9/11", the T-Shirts have been printed  and sold.  We dismantled two complete economic sectors while everybody was hiding under their beds, grabbed the loot, grabbed the actual wealth the debt was leveraged on, tanked the whole mess and got a bonus check for our troubles."

"Ah, yeah.  Good times."

"But, I mean, I still feel unfulfilled, you know?  Sure everybody is cowed into corners, we know what everybody eats for dinner, when they sh*t it out and how many times they chewed it, thanks Mr. Zuckerberg... We know every phone call, every e-mail, anybody using any useful amount of currency gets put on a watch list... We got failed pizza drivers shaking people down at airports and they can steal everything that isn't nailed won with impunity.  I just thought it was going to be more, you know?  Plus, hey I'm almost down to my last 60 billion."

"We've been looking into health care and education, dude.  We're pretty sure either way, it's one more gun we can put to their heads and they'll keep buying huge sums of debt to access them."

"You, you wouldn't tease me, would ya?  I mean... there's more?  MORE?"

"Of course there's more.  We still got them by the balls and we can't stop squeezing now, can we?"

"You're my bestest friend."

"Aw shucks."

"Now let's get out there and do some master of the universing!"

"There's that smile!"
 
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