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(Salon)   Missouri Republican decides that the best way to keep his daughter off of birth control is C) sue the federal government for allowing it to exist in the first place   (salon.com) divider line 223
    More: Dumbass, Missouri Republicans, Catholic Faith, Teresa  
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3782 clicks; posted to Politics » on 15 Aug 2013 at 2:30 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-08-15 03:23:52 PM

Weaver95: SpectroBoy: PrivateCaboose: RodneyToady: Easy solution: stop being Catholic.  An amazing number of us have.

Easier solution: be catholic and have protected premarital sex. An amazing number of us have.

If you are having sex outside of wedlock you are not a good catholic. Sorry to break it to you. the church is pretty clear on this point.

Catholicism defines chastity as the virtue that moderates the sexual appetite. Unmarried Catholics express chastity through. Sexual intercourse within marriage is considered chaste when it retains the twofold significance of union and procreation.

The pope(s) have spoken explicitly on this multiples times.

Or do you pick and choose which rules you follow?

Near as I can figure, Catholics just lie about sex and pick and choose what rules they want to follow at the time. Then they go to confession, feel guilty for a while, and start a cycle of denial and repression that brews some very kinky fetishes later in life.

I have met some VERY devout Catholics who are devoted BDSM and/or swinger types and spend most of their lives being guilty while getting off.


1. The New Testament is, essentially, telling its followers "ignore these laws, but keep these OTHER laws". The foundational document already blows away half the old Law (if not more), while also claiming a heritage from it. Picking and choosing was baked in from the jump.
2. Nothing in either testament says you can't spank each other. Neither one even mentions forbidden sexual acts (apart from tortured readings of the story of Onan and Tamar), only forbidden partners.
 
d23 [TotalFark]
2013-08-15 03:25:17 PM

SpectroBoy: Catholicism defines chastity as the virtue that moderates the sexual appetite. Unmarried Catholics express chastity through. Sexual intercourse within marriage is considered chaste when it retains the twofold significance of union and procreation.


Catholic Girl:

fc08.deviantart.net

The pretty much universally like sex.  The pope would too if he ever tried it (with a female at least)
 
2013-08-15 03:26:35 PM

EyeballKid: Is Missouri trying to take the Midwestern Derp Championship from Kentucky?


Top to bottom, Kentucky isn't even in our league. You guys need more meth if you want to run with the big dogs.
 
2013-08-15 03:27:05 PM

Weaver95: Graffito: Weaver95: You don't see pagans running around imposing our beliefs on everyone else....just saying is all....

Yea, but you wear those goat-leggings EVERYWHERE.

I don't even own goat leggings....


No problem, we sell them at all the meetings. Sort of like a bake sale.

www.thefancarpet.com
 
2013-08-15 03:27:15 PM

Weaver95: Graffito: Weaver95: You don't see pagans running around imposing our beliefs on everyone else....just saying is all....

Yea, but you wear those goat-leggings EVERYWHERE.

I don't even own goat leggings....


I notice you specified goat and didn't say that you don't even have leggings.
 
2013-08-15 03:27:18 PM

Graffito: I hope the federal court judge:
a) is a woman and
b) laughs so hard it blows him back to the bronze age.


Hate to burst your bubble, but I think he's already in the bronze age.
 
d23 [TotalFark]
2013-08-15 03:27:22 PM

rumpelstiltskin: EyeballKid: Is Missouri trying to take the Midwestern Derp Championship from Kentucky?

Top to bottom, Kentucky isn't even in our league. You guys need more meth if you want to run with the big dogs.


A lot of braindead Kentuckians think that Catholicism is a cult.

Just putting that out there....
 
2013-08-15 03:27:32 PM

Weaver95: The Singing Bush: Weaver95: Graffito: Weaver95: You don't see pagans running around imposing our beliefs on everyone else....just saying is all....

Yea, but you wear those goat-leggings EVERYWHERE.

I don't even own goat leggings....

And you call yourself a pagan.  Pffft.

I didn't say I was a very good pagan.


PINO!
 
2013-08-15 03:28:15 PM

Dusk-You-n-Me: [i.imgur.com image 500x738]


haha!  I love the look on Jon's face when he's saying "Welcome to the farking club!"  I haven't seen this before.  Thanks for posting.
 
2013-08-15 03:28:34 PM
thaddeusphipps.files.wordpress.com

/ This is what the religious right actually believes.
 
2013-08-15 03:28:43 PM

d23: SpectroBoy: Catholicism defines chastity as the virtue that moderates the sexual appetite. Unmarried Catholics express chastity through. Sexual intercourse within marriage is considered chaste when it retains the twofold significance of union and procreation.

Catholic Girl:

[fc08.deviantart.net image 787x1000]

The pretty much universally like sex.  The pope would too if he ever tried it (with a female at least)


Even hotter:
Nuns liking sex.
 
2013-08-15 03:29:35 PM

Car_Ramrod: Weaver95: The Singing Bush: Weaver95: Graffito: Weaver95: You don't see pagans running around imposing our beliefs on everyone else....just saying is all....

Yea, but you wear those goat-leggings EVERYWHERE.

I don't even own goat leggings....

And you call yourself a pagan.  Pffft.

I didn't say I was a very good pagan.

PINO!


Let's primary his ass and get a REAL pagan in that office!
 
2013-08-15 03:30:28 PM

Weaver95: The Singing Bush: Weaver95: Graffito: Weaver95: You don't see pagans running around imposing our beliefs on everyone else....just saying is all....

Yea, but you wear those goat-leggings EVERYWHERE.

I don't even own goat leggings....

And you call yourself a pagan.  Pffft.

I didn't say I was a very good pagan.


INFIDEL!!

wait...
 
2013-08-15 03:30:46 PM

RodneyToady: Easy solution: stop being Catholic.  An amazing number of us have.


I've taken to telling Mormon missionaries they can quit the cult now before they get sandbagged with the same life their father had.
 
d23 [TotalFark]
2013-08-15 03:30:51 PM

Car_Ramrod: PINO!


A PINO is a pagan girl that doesn't like anal sex.

At least that seems to be true.
 
2013-08-15 03:30:56 PM

Car_Ramrod: Weaver95: The Singing Bush: Weaver95: Graffito: Weaver95: You don't see pagans running around imposing our beliefs on everyone else....just saying is all....

Yea, but you wear those goat-leggings EVERYWHERE.

I don't even own goat leggings....

And you call yourself a pagan.  Pffft.

I didn't say I was a very good pagan.

PINO!


encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com
 
d23 [TotalFark]
2013-08-15 03:32:05 PM

wildcardjack: RodneyToady: Easy solution: stop being Catholic.  An amazing number of us have.

I've taken to telling Mormon missionaries they can quit the cult now before they get sandbagged with the same life their father had.


Catholic girls become MORE Catholic in the sack.

At least they say "oh god" a lot.

Most Catholic girls I have known pray more in sack than at church!
 
2013-08-15 03:33:55 PM

d23: SpectroBoy: Catholicism defines chastity as the virtue that moderates the sexual appetite. Unmarried Catholics express chastity through. Sexual intercourse within marriage is considered chaste when it retains the twofold significance of union and procreation.

Catholic Girl:

[fc08.deviantart.net image 787x1000]

The pretty much universally like sex.  The pope would too if he ever tried it (with a female at least)



Make mine pagan. They like sex AND they will admit it around your friends!

24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-08-15 03:34:41 PM

d23: wildcardjack: RodneyToady: Easy solution: stop being Catholic.  An amazing number of us have.

I've taken to telling Mormon missionaries they can quit the cult now before they get sandbagged with the same life their father had.

Catholic girls become MORE Catholic in the sack.

At least they say "oh god" a lot.

Most Catholic girls I have known pray more in sack than at church!



You know what the good book says.... Blessed is he who cums in the name of the lord.
 
2013-08-15 03:34:58 PM

super_grass: spongeboob: PrivateCaboose: RodneyToady: Easy solution: stop being Catholic.  An amazing number of us have.

Easier solution: be catholic and have protected premarital sex. An amazing number of us have.

Or just don't put the penis in the vagina, there are some other amazing things you can do.

This is also Fark Anti-smokers' advice to smokers.

/ replace penis and vagina with cigarette with mouth, obviously


What, imply that putting them in your butt is a good alternative? 'Cause I took his statement to imply put it in her pooper. If you know what I mean, and I think that you do.
 
2013-08-15 03:35:04 PM
But think of all the money he would save on the Aspirin they would have to hold between their knees...
 
2013-08-15 03:35:52 PM

ManateeGag: TuteTibiImperes: [www.wielandnow.com image 500x333]

I'll take the one in the blue, please.


What he said.
 
2013-08-15 03:36:51 PM

Marcus Aurelius: Weaver95: You don't see pagans running around imposing our beliefs on everyone else....just saying is all....

We have beliefs?  I did not know this.  I thought I could just up and be a pagan.


You just need the goat leggings.
 
2013-08-15 03:36:54 PM

rumpelstiltskin: EyeballKid: Is Missouri trying to take the Midwestern Derp Championship from Kentucky?

Top to bottom, Kentucky isn't even in our league. You guys need more meth if you want to run with the big dogs.


Three words: Creationist theme park.


And that's with a Democratic governor!
Your move.
 
2013-08-15 03:37:12 PM

dr_blasto: super_grass: spongeboob: PrivateCaboose: RodneyToady: Easy solution: stop being Catholic.  An amazing number of us have.

Easier solution: be catholic and have protected premarital sex. An amazing number of us have.

Or just don't put the penis in the vagina, there are some other amazing things you can do.

This is also Fark Anti-smokers' advice to smokers.

/ replace penis and vagina with cigarette with mouth, obviously

What, imply that putting them in your butt is a good alternative? 'Cause I took his statement to imply put it in her pooper. If you know what I mean, and I think that you do.


"Stick it in her pooper" may not always be the right answer, but it is never the wrong one.
 
2013-08-15 03:37:21 PM
How did Catholicism get so big in Missouri?  This guy and your late governor who was elected posthumously to the Senate even after he commuted a death sentence under the orders of the pope.  I thought the midwest was made up of real Americans(Baptists, Methodists, Lutherans, Presbyterians and even the occasional Lutheran) and that Catholics were confined to Liberal Coast States?

Wait are Catholics real Christians this week, it is so hard to keep up.
 
2013-08-15 03:38:38 PM

Glenford: Marcus Aurelius: Weaver95: You don't see pagans running around imposing our beliefs on everyone else....just saying is all....

We have beliefs?  I did not know this.  I thought I could just up and be a pagan.

You just need the goat leggings.


Note to self - read the thread before commenting.
 
2013-08-15 03:39:37 PM

Satanic_Hamster: d23: SpectroBoy: Catholicism defines chastity as the virtue that moderates the sexual appetite. Unmarried Catholics express chastity through. Sexual intercourse within marriage is considered chaste when it retains the twofold significance of union and procreation.

Catholic Girl:

[fc08.deviantart.net image 787x1000]

The pretty much universally like sex.  The pope would too if he ever tried it (with a female at least)

Even hotter:
Nuns liking sex.


Not the Nuns I has CCD with.  *Blargh*
 
2013-08-15 03:43:41 PM
"A Missouri Republican has asked a federal court to exempt his family from contraception coverage through the state insurance plan, explaining that he doesn't want his three daughters to have access to no-cost birth control because it violates his Catholic faith."

Hey fatass
1) were you a virgin when you got married? if not, STFU
2) was your wife a virgin when you got married? if not, STFU!
3) oh wait, you only have three daughters?? isnt birth control illegal for roman catholics?!!!!
4) hint, your daughters will be having sex before they get married. count on it.
 
2013-08-15 03:44:26 PM

EyeballKid: rumpelstiltskin: EyeballKid: Is Missouri trying to take the Midwestern Derp Championship from Kentucky?

Top to bottom, Kentucky isn't even in our league. You guys need more meth if you want to run with the big dogs.

Three words: Creationist theme park.


And that's with a Democratic governor!
Your move.


The UN is trying to take over Missouri, so our legislature voted to ban Agenda 21. (I think our Democratic governor vetoed it, but that will be overridden.)
You guys can't even ban Sharia law.
 
2013-08-15 03:44:47 PM

spongeboob: How did Catholicism get so big in Missouri?  This guy and your late governor who was elected posthumously to the Senate even after he commuted a death sentence under the orders of the pope.  I thought the midwest was made up of real Americans(Baptists, Methodists, Lutherans, Presbyterians and even the occasional Lutheran) and that Catholics were confined to Liberal Coast States?

Wait are Catholics real Christians this week, it is so hard to keep up.


It's probably like Kansas where there are little towns settled by people from the same region and religion. Like almost all the people in Ellis County, Kansas are Volga-German Catholics, but you go to SE Kansas, and it's Baptists everywhere.  My little town was pretty evenly split amongst the Catholics, the Methodists, and the Lutherans. The Methodists and Lutherans would mix, but they only hung out with the Catholics because they had all the beer.
 
2013-08-15 03:46:42 PM

Heraclitus: But think of all the money he would save on the Aspirin they would have to hold between their knees...


encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com
 
2013-08-15 03:47:42 PM
So much for NOT being the stupid party
 
2013-08-15 03:48:04 PM

namatad: "A Missouri Republican has asked a federal court to exempt his family from contraception coverage through the state insurance plan, explaining that he doesn't want his three daughters to have access to no-cost birth control because it violates his Catholic faith."

Hey fatass
1) were you a virgin when you got married? if not, STFU
2) was your wife a virgin when you got married? if not, STFU!
3) oh wait, you only have three daughters?? isnt birth control illegal for roman catholics?!!!!
4) hint, your daughters will be having sex before they get married. count on it.


what if one of his daughters had to be prescribed  birth control to regulate her lady parts so she could A) have children in the future or B) prevent her from getting something like an ovarian cyst.  I guess he doesn't want his kids to be healthy.
 
d23 [TotalFark]
2013-08-15 03:48:53 PM

rumpelstiltskin: You guys can't even ban Sharia law.


shiat.. Indiana tries to vote to set the value of pi to 3.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indiana_Pi_Bill

Stupid shiat has been going on a long time, but it continues to ramp up.
 
2013-08-15 03:50:38 PM
Is aspirin still covered?
 
2013-08-15 03:52:15 PM
he has a right to his religious beliefs

his religious beliefs are dumb
 
2013-08-15 03:56:49 PM

Grand_Moff_Joseph: Can the court direct bill the people of his district for the costs incurred by his asshattery?


It's Missouri.  It'll get a far fairer hearing than it deserves.
 
2013-08-15 03:57:47 PM
The mouth-breathing fanatics who complain the loudest about birth control are the very people who would benefit society the most by not passing on their genes.
 
2013-08-15 03:57:58 PM

jntaylor63: Is aspirin still covered?


No.
 
2013-08-15 03:59:22 PM

ManateeGag: namatad: "A Missouri Republican has asked a federal court to exempt his family from contraception coverage through the state insurance plan, explaining that he doesn't want his three daughters to have access to no-cost birth control because it violates his Catholic faith."

Hey fatass
1) were you a virgin when you got married? if not, STFU
2) was your wife a virgin when you got married? if not, STFU!
3) oh wait, you only have three daughters?? isnt birth control illegal for roman catholics?!!!!
4) hint, your daughters will be having sex before they get married. count on it.

what if one of his daughters had to be prescribed  birth control to regulate her lady parts so she could A) have children in the future or B) prevent her from getting something like an ovarian cyst.  I guess he doesn't want his kids to be healthy.


this
of course then it would be for MEDICAL reasons and not sex
PLUS his private life and daughter's lives are PRIVATE

seriously though, they should all be medically tested to determine if they are virgins
and stoned if they are not pure

sorry, but those are the rules
 
2013-08-15 04:02:06 PM
Someone should explain to him that, despite what his wife and daughters told him, women are not required to take birth control.
 
2013-08-15 04:04:32 PM

Weaver95: Graffito: Weaver95: You don't see pagans running around imposing our beliefs on everyone else....just saying is all....

Yea, but you wear those goat-leggings EVERYWHERE.

I don't even own goat leggings....


I forgot about the goat leggings.
 
2013-08-15 04:05:17 PM

Nina_Hartley's_Ass: Someone should explain to him that, despite what his wife and daughters told him, women are not required to take birth control.


I don't think this guy thinks that far ahead. He has visions of his daughters dancing on a stripper pole or dressed up as a lesbian dominatrix and his brain melted down. Now he has to stop the entire world and make everyone conform to his religious views because he can't handle someone doing something he doesn't like.
 
2013-08-15 04:05:47 PM
It is interesting how virtually all US "Christians" have forgotten about free will and how God gave us free will and their constant attempts to crush all aspects of free will means that they hate free will; therefore they hate God.

Perhaps all Missouri Christians are actually closet Satan worshipers.  I know my sister and here husband are.

Given how fat that guy is, he certainly is a big fan of gluttony.
 
2013-08-15 04:07:25 PM

dr_blasto: super_grass: spongeboob: PrivateCaboose: RodneyToady: Easy solution: stop being Catholic.  An amazing number of us have.

Easier solution: be catholic and have protected premarital sex. An amazing number of us have.

Or just don't put the penis in the vagina, there are some other amazing things you can do.

This is also Fark Anti-smokers' advice to smokers.

/ replace penis and vagina with cigarette with mouth, obviously

What, imply that putting them in your butt is a good alternative? 'Cause I took his statement to imply put it in her pooper. If you know what I mean, and I think that you do.


It's like butt-chugging, but with smoke. Master this, and you can get elected to any political office you want.
 
2013-08-15 04:07:34 PM

spongeboob: How did Catholicism get so big in Missouri?  This guy and your late governor who was elected posthumously to the Senate even after he commuted a death sentence under the orders of the pope.  I thought the midwest was made up of real Americans(Baptists, Methodists, Lutherans, Presbyterians and even the occasional Lutheran) and that Catholics were confined to Liberal Coast States?

Wait are Catholics real Christians this week, it is so hard to keep up.


I must like Lutherans.
/not to self preview then post.
 
2013-08-15 04:08:05 PM

rosebud_the_sled: It is interesting how virtually all US "Christians" have forgotten about free will and how God gave us free will and their constant attempts to crush all aspects of free will means that they hate free will; therefore they hate God.

Perhaps all Missouri Christians are actually closet Satan worshipers.  I know my sister and here husband are.

Given how fat that guy is, he certainly is a big fan of gluttony.


Oddly enough most ayn rand republicans ARE following the satanic bible. Anton Lavey, the father of satanism, often said he cribbed most of his ideas from ayn rand.
 
2013-08-15 04:08:58 PM

spongeboob: spongeboob: How did Catholicism get so big in Missouri?  This guy and your late governor who was elected posthumously to the Senate even after he commuted a death sentence under the orders of the pope.  I thought the midwest was made up of real Americans(Baptists, Methodists, Lutherans, Presbyterians and even the occasional Lutheran) and that Catholics were confined to Liberal Coast States?

Wait are Catholics real Christians this week, it is so hard to keep up.

I must like Lutherans.
/not to self preview then post.


Nonsense.

It's the mormons who actually got it right.
 
2013-08-15 04:13:27 PM
diagoras.files.wordpress.com
 
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