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(The Verge)   Forty-nine intricately carved tokens, including pyramids, pigs, and conic shapes that totally don't resemble penises, from a 5,000-year old board game were found in Turkey, proving nerds have existed for 5,000 years   (theverge.com) divider line 49
    More: Cool, Turkey, pyramids, archaeologists, Discovery News, pigs, human body, chips  
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4359 clicks; posted to Geek » on 15 Aug 2013 at 12:30 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



49 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-08-15 12:32:16 AM
www.thetimes.co.uk
 
2013-08-15 12:36:09 AM
"No, the penis can only move two squares on its first move. The fat woman moves in straight lines."
 
2013-08-15 12:37:20 AM
One left and one right Inside Grouch, one left and one right Outside Grouch, four Deep Brooders, four Shallow Brooders, five Wicket Men, three Offensive Niblings, four Quarter-Frummerts, two Half-Frummerts, one Full-Frummert, two Overblats, two Underblats, nine Back-Up Finks, two Leapers and a Dummy.
 
2013-08-15 12:42:43 AM
t2.gstatic.com
 
2013-08-15 12:43:20 AM
My money is on "used in religious ceremonies" category. Probably used to determine which virgin got eaten by the village tribes men, giggity.

/those totally look like peni
 
2013-08-15 12:48:20 AM
Forty-nine intricately carved tokens, including pyramids, pigs, and conic shapes that totally don't resemble penises, from a 5,000-year old board game

upload.wikimedia.org

Makes for a fine drinking game.
 
2013-08-15 12:52:28 AM
Two penis shapes gives you a half fizzbin.  If you get a third penis it's a shralk and you're disqualified.

Except on Tuesdays.
 
2013-08-15 12:58:33 AM

Bill_Wick's_Friend: Two penis shapes gives you a half fizzbin.  If you get a third penis it's a shralk and you're disqualified.

Except on Tuesdays.


Just watched that episode the other day, one of my favorites. I wish they had followed up with the planet on TNG or something. It would've been interesting to see what McCoy's mistake would've done over time.

And a total aside have you seen the new fan episodes of Star Trek, first is out and it was *really* good.
 
2013-08-15 01:03:34 AM
So the feeling of stepping on a d4 in the middle of the night barefoot has been known for over 5000 years?

Guess we aren't as different as our ancestors as we think.
 
2013-08-15 01:05:33 AM
The first rules lawyer appeared 4999 years ago.
 
2013-08-15 01:07:17 AM
images.wikia.com

Does not approve...?
 
2013-08-15 01:30:13 AM
Wow. They were playing dungeons and dragons back when there were dungeons and dragons. Respect.
 
2013-08-15 01:46:59 AM
imgs.xkcd.com

Not the one I was looking for, but it fits.
 
2013-08-15 02:11:54 AM
AIEEEE! They had D4's.  Don't walk at night! Don't walk at night!
 
2013-08-15 02:16:45 AM
The rule book?

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-08-15 02:24:57 AM
Speaking of 5000 year old artifacts....
www.atlastours.net
 
2013-08-15 02:26:16 AM
pyramids for pigs
 
2013-08-15 02:32:05 AM
images.sodahead.com

If they don't have the horse, I'm not playing.
 
2013-08-15 02:32:31 AM
designblog.nzeldes.com
/i call dibs
 
2013-08-15 02:45:56 AM
upload.wikimedia.org
/hot prehistoric board
 
Poe
2013-08-15 03:33:20 AM

SearchN: [imgs.xkcd.com image 400x454]

Not the one I was looking for, but it fits.


Let me guess, Voynich?
 
2013-08-15 04:31:02 AM
"Your move, Master"

www.bbc.co.uk
 
2013-08-15 04:46:54 AM
If those are phallus symbols subby has bigger problems to deal with than submitting stories to Fark...
 
2013-08-15 05:46:38 AM
It sounds stupid but in all seriousness as a reader of my grandparents old readers digests specials I always wondered just how advanced ancient cultures were, and excluding ancient aliens, what happened was it religions, plagues, wars natural disasters? shouldnt we have better board games by now? what curtailed the advancement? we should have had multi level chess or something
lh3.googleusercontent.com
 
2013-08-15 07:04:16 AM
img.photobucket.com
 
2013-08-15 07:05:40 AM
 
2013-08-15 07:30:37 AM

buckler: AIEEEE! They had D4's.  Don't walk at night! Don't walk at night!


I just imagine some ancient Hattian hopping around on one foot cursing after stepping on one of those.
 
2013-08-15 07:42:22 AM
If those look like penises to you, subby, you must have an odd penis.
 
2013-08-15 07:44:23 AM

WillofJ2: It sounds stupid but in all seriousness as a reader of my grandparents old readers digests specials I always wondered just how advanced ancient cultures were, and excluding ancient aliens, what happened was it religions, plagues, wars natural disasters? shouldnt we have better board games by now? what curtailed the advancement? we should have had multi level chess or something
[lh3.googleusercontent.com image 343x275]


They weren't more advanced, but they were just as smart as us.  As soon as agricultural food production kicked in they had leisure time* to fill because intelligent people can't stand to be bored.

*This is also true of hunter gathers in high production lands such as Easter island and the pacific northwest although in both cases they seem to have spent their free time building totems.
 
2013-08-15 07:54:00 AM
Having just returned from two weeks in Europe, including Greece, Turkey and Italy, let me say that penises are everywhere over there: erect, flaccid, standing alone, inserted into orifices.  Those are very penisary countries.  Also, they like them big.
 
2013-08-15 08:24:43 AM

Bossk'sSegway: My money is on "used in religious ceremonies" category. Probably used to determine which virgin got eaten by the village tribes men, giggity.

/those totally look like peni


First rule of archeology:  If you don't understand what something is... it's religious.
 
2013-08-15 08:33:40 AM

Quantum Apostrophe: One left and one right Inside Grouch, one left and one right Outside Grouch, four Deep Brooders, four Shallow Brooders, five Wicket Men, three Offensive Niblings, four Quarter-Frummerts, two Half-Frummerts, one Full-Frummert, two Overblats, two Underblats, nine Back-Up Finks, two Leapers and a Dummy.


Came for this.
 
2013-08-15 08:54:07 AM

Uzzah: Forty-nine intricately carved tokens, including pyramids, pigs, and conic shapes that totally don't resemble penises, from a 5,000-year old board game

[upload.wikimedia.org image 250x169]

Makes for a fine drinking game.


Pig Out!
Bonus points to you. Haven't seen that in twenty years.
 
2013-08-15 08:55:47 AM
They make perfect sense once you make the connection between this find and the well-known Basur variant of the Ancient Standard ruleset.

Elephant and Castle can be sacrificed following consecutive lateral shunts to gain a westward advantage on alternating diagonals, Covent Garden is wild, and all vector points outside of zones 1 and 2 reverse if any player is in knid.

Look at the markers, it's obvious.
 
2013-08-15 08:58:30 AM
Roll for initiative:
i.imgur.com
 
2013-08-15 09:03:01 AM

Gordon Bennett: They make perfect sense once you make the connection between this find and the well-known Basur variant of the Ancient Standard ruleset.

Elephant and Castle can be sacrificed following consecutive lateral shunts to gain a westward advantage on alternating diagonals, Covent Garden is wild, and all vector points outside of zones 1 and 2 reverse if any player is in knid.

Look at the markers, it's obvious.



"Now, before I begin the lesson, will those of you who are playing in the match this afternoon move your clothes down onto the lower peg immediately after lunch, before you write your letter home, if you're not getting your hair cut, unless you've got a younger brother who is going out this weekend as the guest of another boy, in which case, collect his note before lunch, put it in your letter after you've had your hair cut, and make sure he moves your clothes down onto the lower peg for you."
 
2013-08-15 09:06:48 AM

WillofJ2: It sounds stupid but in all seriousness as a reader of my grandparents old readers digests specials I always wondered just how advanced ancient cultures were


Studying ancient civilizations is fascinating. One of my favorite guys is Eratosthenes, who calculated not only how big around the world was, but how far it was from the Earth to the Sun 2200 years ago. And 2000 years ago, the Greeks built a computer using sophisticated differential gearing to measure the movement of the heavenly bodies. It's kind of incredible to think about.
 
2013-08-15 09:41:36 AM

Sudo_Make_Me_A_Sandwich: WillofJ2: It sounds stupid but in all seriousness as a reader of my grandparents old readers digests specials I always wondered just how advanced ancient cultures were

Studying ancient civilizations is fascinating. One of my favorite guys is Eratosthenes, who calculated not only how big around the world was, but how far it was from the Earth to the Sun 2200 years ago. And 2000 years ago, the Greeks built a computer using sophisticated differential gearing to measure the movement of the heavenly bodies. It's kind of incredible to think about.



caffeine-fueled.com
 
2013-08-15 09:45:46 AM

Gordon Bennett: They make perfect sense once you make the connection between this find and the well-known Basur variant of the Ancient Standard ruleset.

Elephant and Castle can be sacrificed following consecutive lateral shunts to gain a westward advantage on alternating diagonals, Covent Garden is wild, and all vector points outside of zones 1 and 2 reverse if any player is in knid.

Look at the markers, it's obvious.


But would you still be Trappist if you cross into Cannon Street? It's been a while since I've played with Ancient Standard.
 
2013-08-15 09:46:40 AM

WillofJ2: It sounds stupid but in all seriousness as a reader of my grandparents old readers digests specials I always wondered just how advanced ancient cultures were, and excluding ancient aliens, what happened was it religions, plagues, wars natural disasters? shouldnt we have better board games by now? what curtailed the advancement? we should have had multi level chess or something


We do have better board games, you just can't get Catan, Dominion, and the like at Wal-Mart
 
2013-08-15 09:46:43 AM
i1089.photobucket.com

I am so much kicking your ass.
 
2013-08-15 10:33:12 AM

WillofJ2: shouldnt we have better board games by now? what curtailed the advancement?


Sounds like you missed out on Avalon Hill, SPI, TSR, Metagaming, GDW.  All published innovative, literate games worth playing in the 1970's and 80's.  They're only gone now due to bad business decisions, like letting both ends of the market slip away - the deep end to role-playing, and the shallow end to card games.

Some few still carry on today.
 
2013-08-15 11:22:07 AM

DECMATH: WillofJ2: shouldnt we have better board games by now? what curtailed the advancement?

Sounds like you missed out on Avalon Hill, SPI, TSR, Metagaming, GDW.  All published innovative, literate games worth playing in the 1970's and 80's.  They're only gone now due to bad business decisions, like letting both ends of the market slip away - the deep end to role-playing, and the shallow end to card games.

Some few still carry on today.




A lot of those games were turned into video games.
 
2013-08-15 11:47:08 AM

treecologist: Having just returned from two weeks in Europe, including Greece, Turkey and Italy, let me say that penises are everywhere over there: erect, flaccid, standing alone, inserted into orifices.  Those are very penisary countries.  Also, they like them big.


And that's just the people!
 
2013-08-15 12:44:15 PM

SearchN: [imgs.xkcd.com image 400x454]

Not the one I was looking for, but it fits.


Is this the one you were looking for?

imgs.xkcd.com
 
2013-08-15 01:29:15 PM
Well the Voynich rules are ok but not well balanced.  I prefer the Rongorongo ones.
 
2013-08-15 02:54:56 PM

give me doughnuts: Sudo_Make_Me_A_Sandwich: WillofJ2: It sounds stupid but in all seriousness as a reader of my grandparents old readers digests specials I always wondered just how advanced ancient cultures were

Studying ancient civilizations is fascinating. One of my favorite guys is Eratosthenes, who calculated not only how big around the world was, but how far it was from the Earth to the Sun 2200 years ago. And 2000 years ago, the Greeks built a computer using sophisticated differential gearing to measure the movement of the heavenly bodies. It's kind of incredible to think about.


[caffeine-fueled.com image 461x403]


That guy killed virtually any attempt at reasonable conversations i would try to have with people about the amazing things in ancient civilizations, i do love those shows though
 
2013-08-15 05:39:16 PM
Still better than 4th Edition.

/someone had to say it
//actually liked 4th edition
 
2013-08-16 08:15:58 AM

Sudo_Make_Me_A_Sandwich: Studying ancient civilizations is fascinating. One of my favorite guys is Eratosthenes, who calculated not only how big around the world was, but how far it was from the Earth to the Sun 2200 years ago. And 2000 years ago, the Greeks built a computer using sophisticated differential gearing to measure the movement of the heavenly bodies. It's kind of incredible to think about.


This, except that the Antikythera Mechanism is a hoax.
 
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