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(Tech Dirt)   NSA: We only collect 1.6% of all internet traffic. People who understand math: Uh... that's more information than even Google processes in a day   (techdirt.com) divider line 165
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5929 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Aug 2013 at 3:27 PM (49 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-08-14 02:21:07 PM
How much of it is porn?
 
2013-08-14 02:33:38 PM

BizarreMan: How much of it is porn?


The National Security Agency is monitoring monitoring all Internet traffic that is not porn.
 
2013-08-14 02:39:25 PM

Dimensio: The National Security Agency is monitoring monitoring all Internet traffic that is not porn.


If that's the case, then I can think of the perfect place to hide secrets.  Put them in the audio track of pornos.

Can you imagine transcribing that?  Okay, you're a Farker.  Of course you can.
 
2013-08-14 02:55:59 PM

Dimensio: BizarreMan: How much of it is porn?

The National Security Agency is monitoring monitoring all Internet traffic that is not porn.


Which is why I am sending my plans for world domination to my henchmen exclusively through porn and ani-gifs of porn.
 
2013-08-14 03:17:10 PM
Is that the least untruthful possible statement?
 
2013-08-14 03:28:22 PM
However, of the 1.6% of the data, only 0.025% is actually selected for review. The net effect is that NSA analysts look at 0.00004% of the world's traffic in conducting their mission

It's not that the NSA thinks people can't do math - it's that people don't care about the math, they're scared regardless.
 
2013-08-14 03:29:43 PM
That's a 98.4 chance that your data isn't being intercepted by the big bad government.

Stop sweating it. It's legal and Obama is far, far more trustworthy than Dubya, who no doubt gave the program the greenlight.
 
2013-08-14 03:30:12 PM
So what are our taxes paying for if they don't bother with the whole thing?
 
2013-08-14 03:30:20 PM

BizarreMan: If that's the case, then I can think of the perfect place to hide secrets. Put them in the audio track of pornos.


IIRC a lot of pre 9/11 AQ stuff was concealed in porn via stegenography.
 
2013-08-14 03:31:16 PM
If you ignore Netflix and YouTube, it's really a much larger % of Internet traffic.
 
2013-08-14 03:31:26 PM

Dimensio: BizarreMan: How much of it is porn?

The National Security Agency is monitoring monitoring all Internet traffic that is not porn.


so that's roughly 75% of actual, composed email.
 
2013-08-14 03:31:44 PM

BizarreMan: Dimensio: The National Security Agency is monitoring monitoring all Internet traffic that is not porn.

If that's the case, then I can think of the perfect place to hide secrets.  Put them in the audio track of pornos.

Can you imagine transcribing that?  Okay, you're a Farker.  Of course you can.


That is what they do, or they embed it in hidden parts of graphic files. but the NSA knows that and they track that stuff
 
2013-08-14 03:31:50 PM
Sandvine claims that only 2.9% of US traffic is communication traffic and 68.8% of all email is spam -- meaning that it's entirely possible that the NSA collects nearly all non-spam email and it would still be within its 1.6% number.

Sure, if you start with the assumption that the NSA is spying domestically and ONLY spying domestically.
 
2013-08-14 03:32:13 PM
With this NSA circus and Google calling themselves receptionists to people who use their services the notion of privacy is non-existent.

Just wait till the telepathic mutants arrive and that will be the final nail in the coffin.
 
2013-08-14 03:32:17 PM

super_grass: That's a 98.4 chance that your data isn't being intercepted by the big bad government.

Stop sweating it. It's legal and Obama is far, far more trustworthy than Dubya, who no doubt gave the program the greenlight.


It's 100% certainty they are collecting all of these Fark postings.
 
2013-08-14 03:32:19 PM
No one can monitor any serious percentage of total internet data usage.  No one.  It's oceans of data, daily, and the NSA is dipping their buckets into select spots and praying to catch a sleeping fish or two.

People are freaking out over nothing.
 
2013-08-14 03:33:09 PM

fireclown: BizarreMan: If that's the case, then I can think of the perfect place to hide secrets. Put them in the audio track of pornos.

IIRC a lot of pre 9/11 AQ stuff was concealed in porn via stegenography.


Lol! Did you read that on tinfoilnews.com or the DrudgeReport?
 
2013-08-14 03:33:18 PM

Ennuipoet: Dimensio: BizarreMan: How much of it is porn?

The National Security Agency is monitoring monitoring all Internet traffic that is not porn.

Which is why I am sending my plans for world domination to my henchmen exclusively through porn and ani-gifs of porn.


That WOULD explain those guys I saw down by the nuclear power plant in furry suits and night vision gear...
 
2013-08-14 03:34:16 PM

super_grass: That's a 98.4 chance that your data isn't being intercepted by the big bad government.

Stop sweating it. It's legal and Obama is far, far more trustworthy than Dubya, who no doubt gave the program the greenlight.


These programs have been around for years, this current stuff is an extension of previous programs like echelon, don't assume any president knows exactly what is going on, or personally approved it
 
2013-08-14 03:34:37 PM

Infernalist: No one can monitor any serious percentage of total internet data usage.  No one.  It's oceans of data, daily, and the NSA is dipping their buckets into select spots and praying to catch a sleeping fish or two.

People are freaking out over nothing.


Wait until the divorce lawyers get ahold of this.
 
2013-08-14 03:34:40 PM
People who understand math would have left off "in a day" from the headline...
 
2013-08-14 03:35:41 PM

super_grass: That's a 98.4 chance that your data isn't being intercepted by the big bad government.

Stop sweating it. It's legal and Obama is far, far more trustworthy than Dubya, who no doubt gave the program the greenlight.


If it were the president and not shadowy three-letter agencies who were responsible for snooping on people's communications, I wouldn't be bothered by this. We can fire the president.
 
2013-08-14 03:36:42 PM

PunGent: Ennuipoet: Dimensio: BizarreMan: How much of it is porn?

The National Security Agency is monitoring monitoring all Internet traffic that is not porn.

Which is why I am sending my plans for world domination to my henchmen exclusively through porn and ani-gifs of porn.

That WOULD explain those guys I saw down by the nuclear power plant in furry suits and night vision gear...


Are you sure you're not remembering a mission from Saints Row 3?
 
2013-08-14 03:36:51 PM
It's even more when you figure that they're not collecting redundant things like Netflix streams, iTunes sales, downloads of Linux distributions, and other things easily identified by the metadata or full URL.
 
2013-08-14 03:37:28 PM

Dimensio: BizarreMan: How much of it is porn?

The National Security Agency is monitoring monitoring all Internet traffic that is not porn.


Really really?
 
2013-08-14 03:39:01 PM
Can you imagine being the poor bastard who has to filter threw the thousands of baby potty stories to gamma.
 
2013-08-14 03:39:10 PM

super_grass: That's a 98.4 chance that your data isn't being intercepted by the big bad government.

Stop sweating it. It's legal and Obama is far, far more trustworthy than Dubya, who no doubt gave the program the greenlight.


I sure hope this is trolling...

Care to tell us what evidence you have that Obama is "far more trustworthy" than anyone at all?

And your misleading statement about it being legal, regardless of the amount of data, is misleading.  Unless you have a warrant for an individual, it's NOT legal.
 
2013-08-14 03:39:22 PM

king_nacho: super_grass: That's a 98.4 chance that your data isn't being intercepted by the big bad government.

Stop sweating it. It's legal and Obama is far, far more trustworthy than Dubya, who no doubt gave the program the greenlight.

These programs have been around for years, this current stuff is an extension of previous programs like echelon, don't assume any president knows exactly what is going on, or personally approved it


Obama gave a press conference about it. He can no longer deny any knowledge of it.
 
2013-08-14 03:39:45 PM
USA to NSA, STFU and DIAF.
 
2013-08-14 03:39:46 PM
Articles like this are the equivalent of arguing how big Bigfoot's hands are before you've even proven there is a Bigfoot.
 
2013-08-14 03:40:13 PM
The NSA also only tells the truth about 1.6% of the time, as they've done countless times on Capitol Hill.

/Not believing a damn word they say
//very much aware of how their operation works and not planning on running to the Guardian anytime soon with said knowledge.  They still have plenty of material for now.
 
2013-08-14 03:40:41 PM
On a side note, when did google become the standard for data, it would seem that Amazon or Microsoft would process more data than google
 
2013-08-14 03:41:02 PM

LegacyDL: With this NSA circus and Google calling themselves receptionists to people who use their services the notion of privacy is non-existent.


"You have zero privacy anyway. Get over it."
 
2013-08-14 03:41:30 PM

Infernalist: No one can monitor any serious percentage of total internet data usage.  No one.  It's oceans of data, daily, and the NSA is dipping their buckets into select spots and praying to catch a sleeping fish or two.

People are freaking out over nothing.


This. If they were really dipping, it would be no 4chan
 
2013-08-14 03:42:04 PM

James!: Articles like this are the equivalent of arguing how big Bigfoot's hands are before you've even proven there is a Bigfoot.


Kinda hard to have big hands and not have big feet.  And if you've got big feet... presto, bigfoot.

RHETORICRITICAL STRIKE!  TAKE OVER 9000 DAMAGE
 
2013-08-14 03:42:54 PM

mcreadyblue: king_nacho: super_grass: That's a 98.4 chance that your data isn't being intercepted by the big bad government.

Stop sweating it. It's legal and Obama is far, far more trustworthy than Dubya, who no doubt gave the program the greenlight.

These programs have been around for years, this current stuff is an extension of previous programs like echelon, don't assume any president knows exactly what is going on, or personally approved it

Obama gave a press conference about it. He can no longer deny any knowledge of it.


It was in the freaking newspaper and on every website and newscast for weeks. Nobody that doesn't live under a rock can't deny knowledge of it
 
2013-08-14 03:42:59 PM

AndreMA: It's even more when you figure that they're not collecting redundant things like Netflix streams, iTunes sales, downloads of Linux distributions, and other things easily identified by the metadata or full URL.


cdn.thenextweb.com
 
2013-08-14 03:43:28 PM

MaliFinn: James!: Articles like this are the equivalent of arguing how big Bigfoot's hands are before you've even proven there is a Bigfoot.

Kinda hard to have big hands and not have big feet.  And if you've got big feet... presto, bigfoot.

RHETORICRITICAL STRIKE!  TAKE OVER 9000 DAMAGE


I hear the lochness monster is listening to 3.5 of your personal phone calls.
 
2013-08-14 03:44:09 PM

super_grass: That's a 98.4 chance that your data isn't being intercepted by the big bad government. It's legal


Some light could be shed on the disparity between what Congress intended by the Patriot Act revisions and what the agencies have done, if the Supreme Court agrees to consider the case for which this (34 page brief by amici supporting petition for mandamus) was filed.  It is unusual for them to allow a case to leapfrog the lower courts, but they will do it sometimes.  For example, Bush v. Gore.  I hope they do but doubt they will.
 
2013-08-14 03:45:00 PM

Dimensio: BizarreMan: How much of it is porn?

The National Security Agency is monitoring monitoring all Internet traffic that is not porn.



So...if they are not monitoring porn and 98.4% of the internet traffic is in fact porn related, they are monitoring 100% of non porn stuff

Except for the porn they are watching, which would be considered monitoring
 
2013-08-14 03:46:22 PM
James!: Sandvine claims that only 2.9% of US traffic is communication traffic and 68.8% of all email is spam -- meaning that it's entirely possible that the NSA collects nearly all non-spam email and it would still be within its 1.6% number.

They ran some numbers on twit last Sunday.

The traffic is measured in bytes.

Therefore, video traffic (youtube, etc) and image traffic (various image sites) constitute a huge amount of bytes of data.

Cut all of that out.
Cut out all of the spam
Cut out all of the porn (~30% of all internet traffic)

Suddenly, 1.6% of all traffic seems to be a lot if the 1.6% that you're looking at is only the relevant portion that's not youtube, spam, porn or torrents.
 
2013-08-14 03:46:28 PM

BizarreMan: If that's the case, then I can think of the perfect place to hide secrets. Put them in the audio track of pornos.

Can you imagine transcribing that?


Sounds like dubstep...
 
2013-08-14 03:47:09 PM

super_grass: That's a 98.4 chance that your data isn't being intercepted by the big bad government.

Stop sweating it. It's legal and Obama is far, far more trustworthy than Dubya, who no doubt gave the program the greenlight.


Whenever there's a painfully stupid comment to be made you can bet that  super_grass is there making it.
 
2013-08-14 03:47:44 PM

HammerMill: super_grass: That's a 98.4 chance that your data isn't being intercepted by the big bad government.

Stop sweating it. It's legal and Obama is far, far more trustworthy than Dubya, who no doubt gave the program the greenlight.

I sure hope this is trolling...

Care to tell us what evidence you have that Obama is "far more trustworthy" than anyone at all?

And your misleading statement about it being legal, regardless of the amount of data, is misleading.  Unless you have a warrant for an individual, it's NOT legal.


Define "it"
 
2013-08-14 03:48:24 PM

lordargent: James!: Sandvine claims that only 2.9% of US traffic is communication traffic and 68.8% of all email is spam -- meaning that it's entirely possible that the NSA collects nearly all non-spam email and it would still be within its 1.6% number.

They ran some numbers on twit last Sunday.

The traffic is measured in bytes.

Therefore, video traffic (youtube, etc) and image traffic (various image sites) constitute a huge amount of bytes of data.

Cut all of that out.
Cut out all of the spam
Cut out all of the porn (~30% of all internet traffic)

Suddenly, 1.6% of all traffic seems to be a lot if the 1.6% that you're looking at is only the relevant portion that's not youtube, spam, porn or torrents.


Sure, but it's still a leap to claim that any of the traffic they're looking at is domestic.
 
2013-08-14 03:48:26 PM

Cthulhu_is_my_homeboy: If it were the president and not shadowy three-letter agencies who were responsible for snooping on people's communications, I wouldn't be bothered by this. We can fire the president.


We have fired a president for that.
 
2013-08-14 03:49:14 PM

lordargent: James!: Sandvine claims that only 2.9% of US traffic is communication traffic and 68.8% of all email is spam -- meaning that it's entirely possible that the NSA collects nearly all non-spam email and it would still be within its 1.6% number.

They ran some numbers on twit last Sunday.

The traffic is measured in bytes.

Therefore, video traffic (youtube, etc) and image traffic (various image sites) constitute a huge amount of bytes of data.

Cut all of that out.
Cut out all of the spam
Cut out all of the porn (~30% of all internet traffic)

Suddenly, 1.6% of all traffic seems to be a lot if the 1.6% that you're looking at is only the relevant portion that's not youtube, spam, porn or torrents.


Porn doesn't come close to 30% of all internet traffic. Remember, normal people use the internet now to post cat videos and watch "mainstream" movies.
 
2013-08-14 03:50:50 PM

fireclown: Dimensio: BizarreMan: How much of it is porn?

The National Security Agency is monitoring monitoring all Internet traffic that is not porn.

so that's roughly 75% of actual, composed email.


Agreed.

And you can probably filter out meaningless emails by dropping the ones that start with "Honey,..."
 
2013-08-14 03:51:02 PM
www.allweirdthings.com

this always makes me laugh.
 
2013-08-14 03:51:28 PM
The educated don't even use email. Consider:

The modern computer graphics standard is some 12.8 million colors.

There are roughly 250,000 words in the English language.

This means, just using the blue range of the spectrum, it would be possible to post the entire contents of a Stephen King novel in a single jpeg image on a site like Photobukket or imgur. This picture would be accessible to anybody on the planet, and would be completely indecipherable , because it doesn't rely on the patterns of letters that make up words, but whole words. Each distinct color code could correspond to a distinct word in a dictionary, and nobody would be able to read it, inless they had three key pieces of information:

1) Which dictionary, edition, year, and language.
2) What page and word the code starts on.
3) What color code in the entire range corresponds to that word.

Completely. Secure. Communications. For free.
 
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