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(Cincinnati Enquirer)   It generally takes no more than a year for two normal people to finalize a divorce. But we've replaced normal people with two bitter, acrimonious and litigious lawyers. Let's see what happens on today's episode of The Farker's Court   (news.cincinnati.com) divider line 49
    More: Scary, Loveland, Ex-wife  
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10765 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Aug 2013 at 7:33 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



49 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-08-12 06:22:28 PM  
we've replaced normal people with two bitter, acrimonious and litigious lawyers

There's another kind?
 
2013-08-12 06:25:13 PM  
They may have forgotten that they can't bill for this.
 
2013-08-12 06:56:24 PM  
Wasn't there a movie a couple of decades ago that had the same theme?  I'm thinking War of the Roses. . .

. . .Ah yes, released in 1989.  Both sides ended up dead.  Might be a good resolution to this case.
 
2013-08-12 07:08:24 PM  
"May I refer my esteemed opponent to the reply in Arkell vs. Pressdram, 1971?"
 
2013-08-12 07:37:03 PM  

Mugato: we've replaced normal people with two bitter, acrimonious and litigious lawyers

There's another kind?


Some of them are incompetent.
 
2013-08-12 07:38:11 PM  
As they are divorce lawyers, all I have to say is "Good".

/grumpycat
 
2013-08-12 07:39:26 PM  
As long as they are footing the bill for every poor sod who's forced to deal with their bullshiat (ie pay for the entire court's time), I'm okay with this.
 
2013-08-12 07:39:27 PM  
Er, if
 
2013-08-12 07:39:53 PM  
It's a good thing both teach. If I needed a divorce, I sure as hell wouldn't hire either of them.
 
2013-08-12 07:40:07 PM  
topicstock-origin.pantip.com
 
2013-08-12 07:41:02 PM  
Mommy is holding a grudge.
 
2013-08-12 07:42:03 PM  
What farked up kids they must have.
 
2013-08-12 07:42:57 PM  

2wolves: Mommy is holding a grudge.


"Accidental" anal or affair?
 
2013-08-12 07:44:20 PM  
These two should get a room already...

And have sex with all the paperwork they enjoyed making during this rape of the justice system.
 
2013-08-12 07:45:52 PM  
hell hath no fury like a woman scorned
t1.gstatic.com
 
2013-08-12 07:47:27 PM  
"You're not really here for the hunting, are you."
 
2013-08-12 07:48:01 PM  
Well I had hear that lawyers are advised to not marry other lawyers.
 
2013-08-12 07:50:00 PM  
From my observation, if only one person involved is a colossal asshole, that tends to make it take longer and be far more acrimonious than it has to be. If both people involved are colossal assholes ... all bets are off.
 
2013-08-12 07:51:34 PM  

NostroZ: hell hath no fury like a woman scorned
[t1.gstatic.com image 284x177]


I loved that game.
 
2013-08-12 07:54:06 PM  

iheartscotch: Mugato: we've replaced normal people with two bitter, acrimonious and litigious lawyers

There's another kind?

Some of them are incompetent.


I turned out to be my former business law-talking-guys first client after he found out that his wife was leaving him.  He screwed up forming my corporation.  Then charged me to fix it.  I was too green to realize that until it was really too late to do anything about it.
 
2013-08-12 08:17:53 PM  

Smelly Pirate Hooker: From my observation, if only one person involved is a colossal asshole, that tends to make it take longer and be far more acrimonious than it has to be. If both people involved are colossal assholes ... all bets are off.


There was a story about a few years ago, it may have been linked on Fark, about a couple getting divorced. The guy was an IT person and the wife was a lawyer. The wife and her new fiance, another lawyer and partner in her new law firm, did everything possible to make the divorce hell. They filled complaints against the presiding judges, I think 2 different judges had to recuse themselves, and dragged the thing out so long that the guy ended living in his car because he had no money. In the end the wife ended having a heart attack because of all the stress and drama she was causing and ended up being disbarred because of her behavior and the unfounded complaints she kept filling against her ex, his lawyers and the presiding judges. I even think at one point she tricked her ex into firing his lawyers and signing a settlement that was very favorable to her under the guise of ending the whole mess, only to start throwing a bunch of new motions at him in court and claim that he was lying about a settlement.
 
2013-08-12 08:20:07 PM  
A good man knows a lawyer.
A great man knows a judge.
 
2013-08-12 08:22:21 PM  

2wolves: Mommy is holding a grudge.


looks like Daddy is doing the same
grudge vs grudge

// shivers
 
2013-08-12 08:22:57 PM  
Rule #4 There is no justice. If something approaching what might be construed as justice happens, it's merely a coincidence. However, there is something very real called vengeance.
 
2013-08-12 08:35:25 PM  

Mugato: we've replaced normal people with two bitter, acrimonious and litigious lawyers

There's another kind?


The word "entitled" should've been applied to that description - many of their actions, including their complete contempt for the legal process and court decisions, demonstrate that both of them suffer from near-terminal "You're Not The Boss of Me Syndrome" and should be double-tapped just to improve the overall societal average.
 
2013-08-12 08:35:40 PM  
I was divorced in March 2008.  As late as December 2011 she managed to get me sued for a debt she owed which wound up forcing me into bankruptcy.  In the next few weeks I'll be filing suit against her to recover the money from that bill and all of my legal bills associated with it in accordance to the provision in my divorce decree.  Sometimes a divorce never really ends until the kids are out on their own.
 
2013-08-12 08:38:27 PM  

Smeggy Smurf: I was divorced in March 2008.  As late as December 2011 she managed to get me sued for a debt she owed which wound up forcing me into bankruptcy.  In the next few weeks I'll be filing suit against her to recover the money from that bill and all of my legal bills associated with it in accordance to the provision in my divorce decree.  Sometimes a divorce never really ends until the kids are out on their own.


Sorry to hear that.  Wish you luck.
 
2013-08-12 08:43:34 PM  
...Mine lasted not quite two years, and that only because my ex had convinced herself that I had between 40 to 100K stashed away someplace (the amount depended on who she was talking to).  When her lawyer found out it wasn't true, she had a come-to-Jesus meeting with the ex and they settled within 24 hours.  She got nothing.

And after reading TFA, I will never say another word about my divorce.
 
2013-08-12 08:44:29 PM  
At least they get credit for longevity. Pretty good run if it was sports.
 
2013-08-12 08:51:33 PM  

Gergesa: Smeggy Smurf: I was divorced in March 2008.  As late as December 2011 she managed to get me sued for a debt she owed which wound up forcing me into bankruptcy.  In the next few weeks I'll be filing suit against her to recover the money from that bill and all of my legal bills associated with it in accordance to the provision in my divorce decree.  Sometimes a divorce never really ends until the kids are out on their own.

Sorry to hear that.  Wish you luck.


It's a straightforward issue.  The problem is she refuses to work.  The amount is approx $5K.  She'll never pay it and will eventually wind up again in front of this judge for nonpayment/contempt.  She'll wind up doing time for pissing the judge off.  shiat happens.
 
2013-08-12 08:52:10 PM  

Gergesa: Well I had hear that lawyers are advised to not marry other lawyers.


Inbreeding is discourgaged.
 
2013-08-12 08:52:35 PM  
What surprises me is that the woman is remarried. What kind of schmuck would marry into thar mess?
 
2013-08-12 08:58:47 PM  
With so many things in common I just can't imagine why they would divorce in the first place. They seem ideally suited for each other as both seem to be raging asshats. Maybe we should take them to an island laboratory somewhere and do experiments on them.
 
2013-08-12 09:04:05 PM  
This sounds like an episode of "Drop Dead Diva".

My wife is a fan. I don't have much of a choice.
 
2013-08-12 09:14:50 PM  
Why don't they just say farkit and go with the hate sex option? It'd be earth-shaking.
 
2013-08-12 09:18:23 PM  
If you think I'm a hostile witness now, just wait till we get home.....
 
2013-08-12 09:50:02 PM  

AtlanticCoast63: And after reading TFA, I will never say another word about my divorce.


Ditto. It was even *free* except for filing fees. (Her ex-boss did it)

/pleasegetmarriedpleasegetmarriedpleasegetmarried
 
2013-08-12 10:08:59 PM  
My divorce was about eighteen months (no kids), which was twice as long as the marriage. Fortunately for me, both lawyers and the judge wanted a one-shot judgment that closed the whole mess. I haven't heard anything from her since the final settlement.
 
2013-08-12 10:31:25 PM  
Three months from when she moved out until the judge signed the paper. We agreed right away that our kids needed two parents and not all that drama, so we worked it out without fireworks. Still friends six years later, at least when the kids are around.
 
2013-08-12 10:38:21 PM  
 A friend of mine and his wife got divorced. No infidelity involved, she just got tired of his penny pinching. He was a cheap bastard, in spite of the fact he was a corporate lawyer making over $200k a year and she made over $75k a year as a nurse. Once they split and she filed divorce papers, it was on. Both people, who I had known for over 10 years, became people I didn't know. He was required to make his child-support payment by 6pm on the 1st of the month. He would have it delivered to her house at 5:55pm. She was required to buy a house within 25 miles of the county court house, she picked one as far away from him as possible, and 24.9 miles from the court house, just to make it hard for him to pick up and drop off the kids. It's crazy what divorce turns some people into.

Funny story, as I said he was a cheap bastard. I was in his office when he was writing the "big check" to her. Their total assets were about $1.5 million. He had to write her a check for $700k. He said to me, until we started adding up all the assets, I didn't realize I was a millionaire. I said, you're not, anymore. He was not amused.
 
2013-08-12 11:48:11 PM  
FTA:  "It also involves several complaints by judges presiding over the case that the law professors, who they say should know the rules of the courts, repeatedly violated those rules."

Gee, your honors, if only there was someone IN your court who could enforce the rules.  Someone who might, shall we say, "judge" their behavior, and sanction them.

/wishes more probate judges would throw more people in jail
//non-specific ass-hattery needs to be criminalized, or at least made a misdemeanor
 
2013-08-13 12:09:44 AM  

Smeggy Smurf: I was divorced in March 2008.  As late as December 2011 she managed to get me sued for a debt she owed which wound up forcing me into bankruptcy.  In the next few weeks I'll be filing suit against her to recover the money from that bill and all of my legal bills associated with it in accordance to the provision in my divorce decree.  Sometimes a divorce never really ends until the kids are out on their own.


I wish you luck buddy. I was married for 22 months, the divorce lasted from January 2004 to November 1, 2006.Today she is every bit as bitter and nasty with regards to our 10 year old son. I stopped counting the legal bills once they went North of 50k. If such a thing as karma exits, she has a date with a jagged, frozen chunk of blue airline poo coming to her noggin'.
 
2013-08-13 12:20:42 AM  
Who even has the energy after 18 years?
 
2013-08-13 12:36:26 AM  

Smeggy Smurf: I was divorced in March 2008.  As late as December 2011 she managed to get me sued for a debt she owed which wound up forcing me into bankruptcy.  In the next few weeks I'll be filing suit against her to recover the money from that bill and all of my legal bills associated with it in accordance to the provision in my divorce decree.  Sometimes a divorce never really ends until the kids are out on their own.


I hope you win.
 
2013-08-13 02:07:11 AM  
I imagine that if I got a Divorce, my biggest wish would be to get her out of my life ASAP.
"Goodbye.  I hope I never have anything to do with you ever again."

Hell is what we create for ourselves.
 
2013-08-13 03:05:53 AM  
Sounds like they deserve each other.
 
2013-08-13 11:39:10 AM  
These stories make me dread getting married.  My own parents got divorced when I was in middle school, and that lasted at least 4 years.  It got really ugly: my mom accused my dad of rape, of abusing my brother and I, and on multiple occasions I would wake up in the morning to find my neighbourhood babysitter sleeping on my couch and parents in jail because of the latest fight.  All of my mom's claims were complete bull, she just basically went insane and blamed anything real or imagined on my dad, despite being the one who would hit him and throw stuff.  And that's how I found spaghetti sauce on the ceiling one morning.

It all was settled years ago now, but damn if those years didn't SUCK.  Plus talking to my dad now, he said he spent over 120 grand throughout the whole thing, and that the divorce is the only reason I never got my damn dirt bike.  THANKS MOM.
 
2013-08-13 01:07:05 PM  

QifutuWahuta: These stories make me dread getting married.  My own parents got divorced when I was in middle school, and that lasted at least 4 years.  It got really ugly: my mom accused my dad of rape, of abusing my brother and I, and on multiple occasions I would wake up in the morning to find my neighbourhood babysitter sleeping on my couch and parents in jail because of the latest fight.  All of my mom's claims were complete bull, she just basically went insane and blamed anything real or imagined on my dad, despite being the one who would hit him and throw stuff.  And that's how I found spaghetti sauce on the ceiling one morning.

It all was settled years ago now, but damn if those years didn't SUCK.  Plus talking to my dad now, he said he spent over 120 grand throughout the whole thing, and that the divorce is the only reason I never got my damn dirt bike.  THANKS MOM.


I'm trying to save my son from having to say stuff like this and it's not easy. I'm sure your Dad was trying hard too. Best wishes for you if/when you get married.
 
2013-08-13 01:47:03 PM  
Oh my dad was trying like hell.  This was all years ago now, and we joke about it now.  He told me the main thing that dragged it out in the beginning was his lawyer advised him to just demand full custody in the beginning which he could have gotten based on the circumstances, but he wanted to be nice to my mother (this was before total loathing and hatred set in) so he just tried to set up joint custody.  Well you give an inch and they'll take a mile, so my mom then tried to push for full custody herself, and that led to her accusing my dad of all the child abuse bullshiat.

Though my little brother when he was 4 certainly didn't help, we were at the pediatrician one day (my dad, my brother, and I) when we were talking about wrestling (the play kind little kids do, you know tickle fighting) and my brother just proudly tells the doctor "My daddy beats me up!"  My dad's face that day.  PRICELESS.  He calmly asks my brother to explain to the doctor what he meant and the doctor realized my brother was a goddamn idiot, but dear god.  I don't think I've ever seen my dad turn so white so quickly.

That was just first medical misadventure between my dad and brother.  When they introduced those razer scooters years ago we both NEEDED one.  Christmas rolls around and we get them, to our great enjoyment.  Well dad, in his infinite wisdom, wants a try.  He promptly falls down and breaks his pinkie finger.  During the next weekend, and every weekend after, my brother would grab his hand, pull on his finger and ask "is it better yet?"
 
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