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(Gawker)   "Garages are far less popular than they used to be, thank god. And now, it is time to take on the other suburban monstrosity that afflicts this great nation like a plague: lawns. Ban them"   (gawker.com) divider line 325
    More: Hero, performance enhancers, garage, water wars  
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11201 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Aug 2013 at 6:58 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



325 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-08-12 06:29:30 PM  
I love my garage. I like my back lawn because I can't think of a surface that would do the job better. If I could come up with something lower maintenance that would look neat for the front I would do that.
 
2013-08-12 06:36:20 PM  
The headline and first paragraph of this article are pure troll, but the main point being made in it is absolutely, 100 percent dead-on correct.

You own a lush green lawn in Phoenix, AZ? Yeah, you're a problem.
 
2013-08-12 06:38:33 PM  
While I do kind of miss my lawn, I really only used it for parties.  That being said, what's the author's problem with garages?  I love mine and am extremely grateful I have the space to work on stuff that doesn't belong in the house.
 
2013-08-12 06:38:44 PM  
I park in my garage every day. The amount of snow we get in the winter, I'd be worried about the top collapsing in a half decent storm. And even in the coldest months, it still stays in the upper thirties/low forties in the garage. That's way better than the ten to twenty degrees it'll be outside by that time.
 
2013-08-12 07:00:16 PM  
I'm with you guys - anyone who wants me to give up a heated garage in Northern Alberta can fark off.
 
2013-08-12 07:01:58 PM  
What's wrong with a garage?  I'd like the exterior of my car to last more than a few years.
 
2013-08-12 07:02:27 PM  
I agree with the impulse, if not the specific recommendation.  Ban things I don't like.
 
2013-08-12 07:03:01 PM  
After years of apartments, having a garage is so nice. I don't care if it is raining, snowing, hot or cold. I take my time getting in my car because I can. The problem I have with garages is people that stuff them so full of stuff that they can't park their car in it. That's retarded.
 
2013-08-12 07:03:36 PM  
Oh - and I do agree about the goddamn golf courses.  Ban them.  Or at least limit their numbers.
 
2013-08-12 07:03:39 PM  
Don't most municipalities force you to have a lawn? and to cut it? Now people want to ban them? I guess that which is not mandatory is prohibited.
 
2013-08-12 07:04:03 PM  
Am I allowed to have a lawn if I don't have a sprinkler system?

/Lives near Seattle.
//Never bothers to water lawn
///Only brown a couple weeks this time of year.
 
2013-08-12 07:04:39 PM  
Why do you need a yard, either front or back? Even if you have little kids they prefer to be inside most of the time.

For most people, front lawns are a ridiculous waste of space - nobody ever uses them

Far better to have a house built to the edge of section with a private courtyard in center, preferably with a pool
 
2013-08-12 07:04:46 PM  
Where would I smoke up at?

And my fridge of just beer?
 
2013-08-12 07:04:47 PM  
Guess what...the water you use for your grass doesn't just farking disappear.  It evaporates, or makes its way to a river, or an underground reservoir, or into the body of an animal that eats the grass.  It eventually falls back to the ground as rain.

Watering a lawn doesn't eliminate water.  It just redistributes it,  In fact, it has a MUCH higher chance of making its way to a drought-ridden area if you water your lawn with it than it does by hoarding it in a city supply.
 
2013-08-12 07:05:23 PM  
I love that my house doesn't have a lawn, but a garage would go a long way toward protecting my car from NE winters.
 
2013-08-12 07:05:25 PM  
I am a fan of xeriscaping...  Lower maintenance because, well, I'm lazy.  So you can take my lawn...  But my garage?  Only when you pry it from my cold, dead hands....  I love my garage!  I want a big shop...
 
2013-08-12 07:05:28 PM  
A garage is farking useful for so many things, particularly if you don't want to piss off the neighbors.

A lawn, though, is completely unnecessary.
 
2013-08-12 07:05:34 PM  
shiat like this getting frontpaged is why I keep Adblock on. Think about that Drew.
 
2013-08-12 07:06:00 PM  
I feel like this article is only geared towards those who it would offend.  Alternately, it is specifically geared towards those who agree with it implicitly and had no reason to read it in the first place.
 
2013-08-12 07:06:10 PM  
this guy sounds way too euro and possibly lib
 
2013-08-12 07:06:16 PM  

mjjt: Why do you need a yard, either front or back? Even if you have little kids they prefer to be inside most of the time.

For most people, front lawns are a ridiculous waste of space - nobody ever uses them

Far better to have a house built to the edge of section with a private courtyard in center, preferably with a pool


Hard to play catch or badminton in the woods.
 
2013-08-12 07:07:05 PM  
Landscaping should have functional purpose and be location appropriate. For huge swaths of suburbia across this country, a grass lawn surrounding a home qualifies in both counts.

And all else being equal, a quarter acre of grass is way better than a quarter acre of asphalt.
 
2013-08-12 07:08:24 PM  
I think a better use for watered lawns would be vegetable gardens.
 
2013-08-12 07:08:46 PM  
But if I don't have a lawn, what will I tell the damn kids to get off of?
 
2013-08-12 07:08:50 PM  
EvilEgg:

Hard to play catch or badminton in the woods.

Or Frisbee or Jarts.
 
2013-08-12 07:09:18 PM  
I hate yard work.  Take my lawn, please.  Wait.  My dogs need to poop somewhere.  Put my lawn back.  Just come by once in a while and take care of it.  Thanks.
 
2013-08-12 07:09:36 PM  

tenpoundsofcheese: "You do not get to have a lawn in the desert, "  just when you thought people couldn't get stupider.
If you have a house in the desert, you have every right to grow grass on the lawn.


Just like the elephants I keep at my New England urban home. Sure, the space is cramped and they die off every winter, but it's my right!
 
2013-08-12 07:09:43 PM  
The author needs to crawl back into is 60sq foot apartment and meditate a bit on tolerance and accept the fact that people have different priorities and beliefs that he does.

As a note, most water in the US is used for agriculture, not lawns.
 
2013-08-12 07:09:46 PM  

Occam's Nailfile: Guess what...the water you use for your grass doesn't just farking disappear.  It evaporates, or makes its way to a river, or an underground reservoir, or into the body of an animal that eats the grass.  It eventually falls back to the ground as rain.

Watering a lawn doesn't eliminate water.  It just redistributes it,  In fact, it has a MUCH higher chance of making its way to a drought-ridden area if you water your lawn with it than it does by hoarding it in a city supply.


Yes, it's worked so well for the breadbasket of the US.
 
2013-08-12 07:09:50 PM  
"Garages are Gawker is far less popular than they used to be, thank god. And now, it is time to take on the other suburban monstrosity that afflicts this great nation like a plague: lawns Gawker links. Ban them"
 
2013-08-12 07:10:20 PM  
Driving through the city, you can see where the older houses are compared to newer just by if and where the garage is.  The garage is the centerpiece, the focal point of the house on anything that looks like it was built after 1960.  My house is no different.  Garage is the front most part, you have to walk around it to get to the front door.

Don't ban lawns though, just provide incentives to not have one.

My incentive?  I hate mowing.  I have a lot of perennials in the front and the strip of grass that is a path around the beds is fine, and takes about 5 minutes to mow.  Edging it can be a pain sometimes though.

The back lawn is now nearly 100% garden though, with a little postage stamp that is grass.
 
2013-08-12 07:10:50 PM  
I love my garage. I don't actually park my car in it, but it does conveniently house the kid's outdoor toys, our bikes, and my workshop.

As for the lawn you can have it, but I do live in Southern Ontario so it's not that out of place and I never water it (grass is quite drought tolerant) plus I cut it with a rotary push mower (because I'm cheap).
 
2013-08-12 07:10:54 PM  
I'm going to water my unnecessary lawn with the author's butthurt tears.
 
2013-08-12 07:11:39 PM  
"There is a very simple way to determine which lawns can stay, and which lawns must go. First, a city should determine how much water can reasonably and safely be used by each resident,"

This guy thinks it's simple to get a city government to accurately determine something as vague as how much water each person can "reasonably and safely" use? Well, I guess he did say "simple", not "easy".
 
2013-08-12 07:12:03 PM  
076dd0a50e0c1255009e-bd4b8aabaca29897bc751dfaf75b290c.r40.cf1.rackcdn.com

/ Country Clubs and Cemeteries
 
2013-08-12 07:12:08 PM  

Redfish: shiat like this getting frontpaged is why I keep Adblock on. Think about that Drew.


BEARS BEARS BEARS BEARS BEARS
 
2013-08-12 07:12:08 PM  

Beemer: I think a better use for watered lawns would be vegetable gardens.


I think we'd do well with a return to formal, ornamental gardens myself. They don't have to be all that high maintenance, though ones the size of a typical suburban lot might be a pain. I see some nice ones with the small lots here in DC, though.
 
2013-08-12 07:12:18 PM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: Oh - and I do agree about the goddamn golf courses. Ban them. Or at least limit their numbers.


No, let's not.
 
2013-08-12 07:12:22 PM  

Tobin_Lam: After years of apartments, having a garage is so nice. I don't care if it is raining, snowing, hot or cold. I take my time getting in my car because I can. The problem I have with garages is people that stuff them so full of stuff that they can't park their car in it. That's retarded.


Why's that?  My one car garage is full of equipment, table saw, routing table, shelves of tools and a workbench.  I an park my motorcycle in there, but that's it.  For me, the garage is a shop, my truck can sit on the street.
 
2013-08-12 07:12:23 PM  
Go with the "no watering/fertilizing lawns" and I'm all ears. The Puritans are to blame for the 17th century English concept of keeping a lawn. Why the hell does it insist upon itself? It even goes to the point of someone being bad neighbor because their lawn isn't well maintained. Pfffttt. But you may have one all you wish, the only problem I have with them are the HUGE proportions of our drinking water being used to water them, and the runoff coming from maintaining them.
 
2013-08-12 07:12:47 PM  
Incidentally, I'm not against grass frontage, but I'm against the modern idea of a lawn that needs to be imported, re-sodded, and "made" to be green with untold hours of maintenance. Use that freaking energy for a front yard GARDEN.
 
2013-08-12 07:13:58 PM  

timujin: While I do kind of miss my lawn, I really only used it for parties.  That being said, what's the author's problem with garages?  I love mine and am extremely grateful I have the space to work on stuff that doesn't belong in the house.


Duh, if you have a garage you probably have a super evil demon resource drinking environment killing machine, also known as a car.

This guy needs to listen to Phil Plait about how not to be when trying to convince others of your viewpoint.
 
2013-08-12 07:14:04 PM  
Article about garages written by urbanite trolls.    Houses in suburban and rural areas have more garage than ever.  Three car garages are very popular these days.

I hate it when people who don't actually build things or make things with their hands try to espouse a minimalist lifestyle for everyone else.    I don't mind your urban lifestyle, so leave mine alone.

I have a full metal shop in my garage with a mill and a lathe and various ancillary tooling, in addition to the truck I park in there to protect it from the elements.

Now lawns, I agree that they are a bad idea in desert climates unless they are fed with reclaimed water.  I live in the desert so I am getting a kick out of this etc.    However, people will continue to have them unless water becomes expensive and scarce.  It's very cheap here at the moment.
 
2013-08-12 07:14:18 PM  
Garages are fine. People use garages for useful things like large or messy projects, and garages save people time on their commutes when the weather is wet and drops below freezing overnight. Who wants to waste any amount of time in the morning scraping ice off your windshield? Who wants to commute with a bunch of drivers who are already annoyed that they had to do that and possibly late for work because they weren't expecting it? I sure don't.

People with kids and large animals like dogs or livestock can make really good use of yards, as well as people who garden. The abominations are the ones that are meticulously manicured and then contribute absolutely nothing else except a nice view. You don't need to have a lush green yard in order to enjoy your life, I promise. Especially, as Pocket Ninja pointed out upthread, you live in Phoenix, Arizona.
 
2013-08-12 07:14:31 PM  
I would happily get rid of most of my lawn.  There are many communities that now omit this maintenance burden.  All of them have HOAs.  Therefore, I shall stick with my lawn.
 
2013-08-12 07:14:37 PM  

new_york_monty: I park in my garage every day. The amount of snow we get in the winter, I'd be worried about the top collapsing in a half decent storm. And even in the coldest months, it still stays in the upper thirties/low forties in the garage. That's way better than the ten to twenty degrees it'll be outside by that time.


I live in WI, I do not have a garage, it is awful. I have a lawn that rarely needed watering this year, but I didn't use any weed killer this year due to my daughter being old enough to run around the yard. I regret that decision.
 
2013-08-12 07:14:41 PM  
Umm, yeah. I'll go ahead and hang onto my garage, thank you very much. Not much on having to scrape frost off my windshield every morning in winter.  Although, most people around here can't fit their cars in their garages due to all the excess shiat they have, so maybe they have a point.
 
2013-08-12 07:14:44 PM  
My freaking HOA mandates bermuda or zoysia sod in front of my house, but anything goes once you reach the imaginary line the front of the house creates.  We put up a 7 foot privacy fence so no one can see what is growing or not, whether we mulch or not, where our ac units are and only cut out front.  We even made the fence gate open on the inside and it stays locked.  But you try to make me get rid of the garage/workshop/junk catcher and I will cut you.
 
2013-08-12 07:15:29 PM  
Get off my xeriscaped communal plot?

/ Just doesn't have the same ring to it
 
2013-08-12 07:15:43 PM  

tetsoushima: I feel like this article is only geared towards those who it would offend.  Alternately, it is specifically geared towards those who agree with it implicitly and had no reason to read it in the first place.


In other words, it's your average Fark Greenlight.
 
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