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(Toronto Star)   This just in. Men more likely to pick up tab on dates. Apparently, this is more effective than praying for sex   (thestar.com) divider line 27
    More: Obvious, Community Code of Conduct, American Sociological Association, value-systems  
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3018 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Aug 2013 at 3:31 AM (35 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
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2013-08-12 04:02:09 AM
3 votes:

Altoid: This clearly bears repeating...

From Stephen Snyder, MD, Psychiatrist based in New York, advice to men:

"1. Be interested in sex.
2. Pay her some attention.
3. Be a leader.

"Most women are practical creatures. They won't mind that you're not a billionaire. Just be interested in sex. Pay her some attention. And don't be afraid to take charge sometimes. Even if you're not a billionaire, you might get treated like one."


Those rules are superseded by these:

1. Be handsome
2. Be attractive
3. Don't be unattractive

A man who is interested in sex, willing to take command, and attentive to a woman is just a stalker.
2013-08-12 03:41:35 AM
3 votes:
Benift of being gay #7687 you split the check and still fark
2013-08-12 05:09:46 AM
2 votes:
I see lots of men date the wrong kind of women....and lots of women here are still living under the delusion they are a princess to be pampered and "won".

I learned my lesson after the second date with my current gf...when she tried to pay for dinner and i refused to let her.

I got an earful in the parking lot...went something like this: "If you are looking for a spoiled princess type who expects tge man to pay for everything them u need to keep looking. Otherwise, you will have to let ME contribute to furthering our relationship as well because I like feeling like i have just as much invested in us. Second, dont be rude. I like you enough to actually WANT to contribute to this...so next time, accept it like a true gentleman would."


Yeah..knew right away she was a keeper.

2 years so far...engagement coming in Jan :)
2013-08-12 04:18:24 AM
2 votes:
If a date is going badly, I'll typically just excuse myself to the restroom and then leave the restaurant.

When a woman can't hold up her end of a conversation or eats like she's never been taught basic manners, she can pay for both of us. I'll be on my way home.

But if the date is going well, I'll generally offer to split the check. I don't want to come across as falsely chivalrous or seemingly attached to outdated social custom.
2013-08-12 04:05:41 AM
2 votes:

CarnySaur: The survey also found that 39 per cent of women wished men would reject their offers to pay.

Then don't offer.


I dislike the social dance of offers that are meant to be turned down.

I read a thing once on how to handle an incident like spilling wine on a carpet as the guest, and it went through like five plus layers of offering to pay for cleaning and the host turning you down, with various points at which either host or guest ended up being the bad guy if they accepted the other party's offer at the wrong point.

farking ridiculous.
2013-08-12 05:22:11 PM
1 votes:

garandman1a: 2) If the woman offers to pay, or pay half, explain to her that by paying, you feel that it is the least you can do to pay her back for the time she is spending with you to go to dinner with you


The LEAST you can do for someone who just deigned to SPEND TIME with you? Hahahahahahahah. Yeah, dude. Why not just hand over your balls instead? If the only way you can get women to want to go somewhere with you is by bribing them, just skip ahead a few steps and call a hooker.
2013-08-12 04:55:06 PM
1 votes:
This is why men get paid more for the same work.
2013-08-12 01:23:25 PM
1 votes:
I pay when I know there won't be a second date.  I just feel bad for wasting someone's elses money on a terrible date.  Otherwise, the check is split.  If it's in doubt who is actually paying you're not on a date and you're not getting laid.  Also, always go the coffee or drink option if it is offered.  You learn just as much about a person that way without all the messy eating.
2013-08-12 01:16:27 PM
1 votes:

bigbobowski: it shows respect for the company you keep.


Why do you think this respect should only go one way?
2013-08-12 11:52:49 AM
1 votes:
I usually just meet for drinks.. then on to meal if the drinks went well.

Sometimes, dinner doesn't go well, though, and I figure out she is just in it for the meal.

When it comes time to pay , I'll put a card in the payment book.   The card will say, 'I'll blow you if you comp my meal"

I then excuse myself to the rest room and then beat it out to the car.
2013-08-12 11:44:49 AM
1 votes:

Suede head: I've never been on a date since I was a teenager, I just screw whores and have my time and money for myself. A few months ago a friend set me up for a date with a woman he works with, very nice attractive woman who I'd met several times and she clearly liked me. But I turned it down when I thought of giving up my freedom and privacy. I know I'll die alone.


At least with the hooker you know the price up front.  Being married costs a helluva lot more.
2013-08-12 09:39:30 AM
1 votes:
My policy: Whomever requests the first date pays for the first date. Then it switches between parties. Repeated requests to go to expensive places by whomever is not paying, especially if they go super cheap when it's their turn, are dickish.

/I get uncomfortable if a guy is always paying for everything.
//Actually dated a few guys who apparently saw my requests to pay as some sort of affront to their manhood.
///Those guys didn't last long.
2013-08-12 08:07:33 AM
1 votes:
Feminism for thee, no for me
-Every third wave feminist
2013-08-12 07:46:04 AM
1 votes:
Here's some hot dating tips that I wish I'd had when I was a youngun:

1) Don't date until you are at least 40. Sex is fun, bur it's not worth the problems it causes.

Actually, that's the whole list.
2013-08-12 07:13:49 AM
1 votes:
First date guy always pays, after that it's up in the air. That's also why you never do something expensive for the first date.
2013-08-12 07:06:53 AM
1 votes:
if i could go back and do it again it would be hookers all the way. i'd be so much more wealthier, happier and living in contented peace and quiet.
2013-08-12 05:59:50 AM
1 votes:

Gdalescrboz: I can hear cries of gender inequality from the ladies already


Only the insecure ones.
2013-08-12 05:44:20 AM
1 votes:

AverageAmericanGuy: The more you eat the more you fart: AverageAmericanGuy: The more you eat the more you fart: From The Woods: Call me crazy, but I usually get to know the girl pretty well through talking/texting/whatever long before I take her out to dinner. I'm not about to spend money on some chick I don't even know. If I'm taking her to dinner, that means we're already good friends or lovers.

Most people spend a couple weeks texting/talking first in order to weed out the crazy ones.

By the time a first date happens, you should be reasonably sure you aren't wasting your time.

One of my most memorable first dates: she wanted a new mountain bike so i helped her pick it out. To thank me for taking my one day off that week to help her, she bought dinner. At the end of dinner she said "Well...this has been one of the best first dates i've ever had...what do you think?"

Me: date?

Her: uh...yes. date. What did u think?

Me: DATE?!

Her: *blank look*

Me: um...how about tomorrow we go to dinner...my treat...and this time i'll know ahead of time it's a date and i wont wear jeans and a Red Sox hat.

Her: deal.


Lasted 6 years and and an engagement...almost got married.

Dodged that bullet!

Uh no. She died actually. Car wreck.

/buzzkill i know...but sadly true.

That right there is super sad and I feel bad for posting my flippant remark.


Nah dude...appreciate the sentiment though...no offense taken :)

She was an absolutely fantastic woman....passed 2 months before the wedding. The first older woman i ever dated, and the reason i could never date a woman younger than 40 ever again. I learned more from her during those 6 years than i had in all of my previous. All her kids were grown, and im still close to all of them to this day.

With a new lady now...i guess ive been lucky. Ive been with two spectacular women in my life...one before and one currently :)

/yes...still miss her sometimes
//new lady is an absolute blast
///wouldn't trade either of them :)
2013-08-12 05:32:49 AM
1 votes:

The more you eat the more you fart: AverageAmericanGuy: The more you eat the more you fart: From The Woods: Call me crazy, but I usually get to know the girl pretty well through talking/texting/whatever long before I take her out to dinner. I'm not about to spend money on some chick I don't even know. If I'm taking her to dinner, that means we're already good friends or lovers.

Most people spend a couple weeks texting/talking first in order to weed out the crazy ones.

By the time a first date happens, you should be reasonably sure you aren't wasting your time.

One of my most memorable first dates: she wanted a new mountain bike so i helped her pick it out. To thank me for taking my one day off that week to help her, she bought dinner. At the end of dinner she said "Well...this has been one of the best first dates i've ever had...what do you think?"

Me: date?

Her: uh...yes. date. What did u think?

Me: DATE?!

Her: *blank look*

Me: um...how about tomorrow we go to dinner...my treat...and this time i'll know ahead of time it's a date and i wont wear jeans and a Red Sox hat.

Her: deal.


Lasted 6 years and and an engagement...almost got married.

Dodged that bullet!

Uh no. She died actually. Car wreck.

/buzzkill i know...but sadly true.


That right there is super sad and I feel bad for posting my flippant remark.
2013-08-12 05:29:21 AM
1 votes:

The more you eat the more you fart: From The Woods: Call me crazy, but I usually get to know the girl pretty well through talking/texting/whatever long before I take her out to dinner. I'm not about to spend money on some chick I don't even know. If I'm taking her to dinner, that means we're already good friends or lovers.

Most people spend a couple weeks texting/talking first in order to weed out the crazy ones.

By the time a first date happens, you should be reasonably sure you aren't wasting your time.

One of my most memorable first dates: she wanted a new mountain bike so i helped her pick it out. To thank me for taking my one day off that week to help her, she bought dinner. At the end of dinner she said "Well...this has been one of the best first dates i've ever had...what do you think?"

Me: date?

Her: uh...yes. date. What did u think?

Me: DATE?!

Her: *blank look*

Me: um...how about tomorrow we go to dinner...my treat...and this time i'll know ahead of time it's a date and i wont wear jeans and a Red Sox hat.

Her: deal.


Lasted 6 years and and an engagement...almost got married.


Dodged that bullet!
2013-08-12 05:10:26 AM
1 votes:

frostus: From The Woods: Call me crazy, but I usually get to know the girl pretty well through talking/texting/whatever long before I take her out to dinner. I'm not about to spend money on some chick I don't even know. If I'm taking her to dinner, that means we're already good friends or lovers.

My wife still picks on me because I never took her on a real date until after we were engaged.


Was the marriage arranged? How in the hell do you not go out of a date until you're engaged? Sleepovers, giggling under the sheets while you shine a flashlight up and discuss how it resembles a boob? Playing legos, or did you just meet up for dueling raids on World of Warcraft? Christ, some people.
2013-08-12 04:48:59 AM
1 votes:
Call me crazy, but I usually get to know the girl pretty well through talking/texting/whatever long before I take her out to dinner. I'm not about to spend money on some chick I don't even know. If I'm taking her to dinner, that means we're already good friends or lovers.
2013-08-12 04:38:57 AM
1 votes:

Ral: If it's a date, the person who does the asking should pay.  Doesn't matter what genders are involved.


Absolutely correct. You ask, you pay. Easy as that.
Ral
2013-08-12 04:29:17 AM
1 votes:
If it's a date, the person who does the asking should pay.  Doesn't matter what genders are involved.
2013-08-12 04:00:54 AM
1 votes:

Altoid: This clearly bears repeating...

From Stephen Snyder, MD, Psychiatrist based in New York, advice to men:

"1. Be interested in sex.
2. Pay her some attention.
3. Be a leader.

"Most women are practical creatures. They won't mind that you're not a billionaire. Just be interested in sex. Pay her some attention. And don't be afraid to take charge sometimes. Even if you're not a billionaire, you might get treated like one."


All women need to know really is this.

1.  If she's on a date with a man, it's already implied that he's interested in sex.  If he doesn't seem like he is, it's because he feels he should downplay the fact that he's hoping to get laid on the first date.
2.  If the guy isn't paying her any attention either he thinks she's hideous or he's secretly gay.  I've never heard of a guy going on a date with a girl he likes and not paying her attention.
3.  If the girl is on a date with a leader type, then she sure as hell better be considering putting out on the first date because in my experience those guys don't mess around.  Remember ladies, the more powerful/assertive the guy, the more options he has.
2013-08-12 03:59:57 AM
1 votes:
The survey also found that 39 per cent of women wished men would reject their offers to pay.

Then don't offer.
2013-08-12 03:54:14 AM
1 votes:
I'm sure some people will tell me I'm doing it wrong...

If it's a first date and it's been a real good time and I like the girl, I'll kind of insist on paying.  If they object more than twice then I'll relent and allow them to go dutch.

If it's a first date and it's not been so good and I don't really like the girl, I'll hope she offers to go dutch and then immediately agree.  Most girls these days will offer if the guy makes no effort to pay it all.

And for first dates my rule is to meet for drinks first.  That helps me to vet the girl so I don't end up paying for dinner for those ones who have horrible attitudes and are just there for a free meal.  If she's making no effort then the dates over before I suggest we eat.

/Been on some horrible first dates where I wondered why the girl even showed up when she clearly had no interest in being there.
 
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