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(Toronto Star)   This just in. Men more likely to pick up tab on dates. Apparently, this is more effective than praying for sex   (thestar.com) divider line 116
    More: Obvious, Community Code of Conduct, American Sociological Association, value-systems  
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3066 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Aug 2013 at 3:31 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



116 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-08-12 03:33:35 AM  
Say some 'Our Fathers' in the confessional, subby.
 
2013-08-12 03:40:22 AM  
Even when the girl offers to pay or tries to pay I usually have paid it all or at least my share. I understand there is social norms and some people pay no mind to them, good on those girls and all. The problem is the inherent niceness of people on a first date means the offer of splitting or picking up the tab could just be someone being polite. If I'm too put off to afford covering the tab I'd rather just go somewhere friendlier on the wallet.

Lucky with the long term relationship I no longer have this dilemma, now I know that I always pay!
 
2013-08-12 03:41:35 AM  
Benift of being gay #7687 you split the check and still fark
 
2013-08-12 03:42:41 AM  

DenisBergkamp: Even when the girl offers to pay or tries to pay I usually have paid it all or at least my share.


So you spend a lot of money and don't get laid as much as you should?
 
2013-08-12 03:44:57 AM  
I always make my wife pay the bill but mostly because she doesn't trust me with cash or credit cards. I tend to be one of those impulse buyers.

/still get to have sex though
 
2013-08-12 03:45:18 AM  

pedobearapproved: DenisBergkamp: Even when the girl offers to pay or tries to pay I usually have paid it all or at least my share.

So you spend a lot of money and don't get laid as much as you should?


It always seems to be a turn off when I search for my red lobster coupons in my fanny pack when the cheque comes.
 
2013-08-12 03:45:52 AM  
GIS for "Praying for Sex"

www.demotivationalposters.org
 
2013-08-12 03:47:28 AM  
Not in 1,000 years would I let a woman pay for me.
 
2013-08-12 03:49:58 AM  
As a women, I'd never pay for dinner with a guy.
 
2013-08-12 03:52:29 AM  
This clearly bears repeating...

From Stephen Snyder, MD, Psychiatrist based in New York, advice to men:

"1. Be interested in sex.
2. Pay her some attention.
3. Be a leader.

"Most women are practical creatures. They won't mind that you're not a billionaire. Just be interested in sex. Pay her some attention. And don't be afraid to take charge sometimes. Even if you're not a billionaire, you might get treated like one."
 
2013-08-12 03:53:24 AM  
As does this:

I don't agree with this, expert advice or not. At any rate, it doesn't say once that as a man, one has to pay for everything. All it says is be interested in sex, pay some attention to her, and be a leader, not to pay for more than one's share.
 
2013-08-12 03:53:45 AM  
I'm an old fart, so I've always paid. But now that I'm a modern father of two girls, I encourage them to pay their share.  That way, there's less pressure on them to fark the guy. See how that works?
 
2013-08-12 03:54:08 AM  
And this is why prostitution will never be legalized. Why pay for a date when you have a sure thing with whores. Course, sometimes that sure thing is herpes.
 
2013-08-12 03:54:14 AM  
I'm sure some people will tell me I'm doing it wrong...

If it's a first date and it's been a real good time and I like the girl, I'll kind of insist on paying.  If they object more than twice then I'll relent and allow them to go dutch.

If it's a first date and it's not been so good and I don't really like the girl, I'll hope she offers to go dutch and then immediately agree.  Most girls these days will offer if the guy makes no effort to pay it all.

And for first dates my rule is to meet for drinks first.  That helps me to vet the girl so I don't end up paying for dinner for those ones who have horrible attitudes and are just there for a free meal.  If she's making no effort then the dates over before I suggest we eat.

/Been on some horrible first dates where I wondered why the girl even showed up when she clearly had no interest in being there.
 
2013-08-12 03:55:33 AM  

DenisBergkamp: pedobearapproved: DenisBergkamp: Even when the girl offers to pay or tries to pay I usually have paid it all or at least my share.

So you spend a lot of money and don't get laid as much as you should?

It always seems to be a turn off when I search for my red lobster coupons in my fanny pack when the cheque comes.


A true playa pulls out his "2-for-1 coupon," forgets his wallet/asks the girl to pay, then brags to the girl how he helped her out and will always be there for her.
 
2013-08-12 03:59:04 AM  

UsikFark: Say some 'Our Fathers' in the confessional, subby.


I figure with all the altar boys praying to not have sex tonight, God can balance things out by sending a little my way. Just, hopefully not a priest.

/some hot, sluttily-dressed nuns, on the other hand....
 
2013-08-12 03:59:57 AM  
The survey also found that 39 per cent of women wished men would reject their offers to pay.

Then don't offer.
 
2013-08-12 04:00:16 AM  
Most of the time I pay for the check.  The trick is to act like you will both be paying your own way.  There is a lot of information to be discovered with that approach.
 
2013-08-12 04:00:54 AM  

Altoid: This clearly bears repeating...

From Stephen Snyder, MD, Psychiatrist based in New York, advice to men:

"1. Be interested in sex.
2. Pay her some attention.
3. Be a leader.

"Most women are practical creatures. They won't mind that you're not a billionaire. Just be interested in sex. Pay her some attention. And don't be afraid to take charge sometimes. Even if you're not a billionaire, you might get treated like one."


All women need to know really is this.

1.  If she's on a date with a man, it's already implied that he's interested in sex.  If he doesn't seem like he is, it's because he feels he should downplay the fact that he's hoping to get laid on the first date.
2.  If the guy isn't paying her any attention either he thinks she's hideous or he's secretly gay.  I've never heard of a guy going on a date with a girl he likes and not paying her attention.
3.  If the girl is on a date with a leader type, then she sure as hell better be considering putting out on the first date because in my experience those guys don't mess around.  Remember ladies, the more powerful/assertive the guy, the more options he has.
 
2013-08-12 04:01:19 AM  

blindpreacher: As a women, I'd never pay for dinner with a guy.


I was going to say you misspelled "womyn", but on second thought, no. You definitely didn't.
 
2013-08-12 04:02:01 AM  

UsikFark: Say some 'Our Fathers' in the confessional, subby.


If you're a young enough man, don't need to say anything at all in there...
 
2013-08-12 04:02:09 AM  

Altoid: This clearly bears repeating...

From Stephen Snyder, MD, Psychiatrist based in New York, advice to men:

"1. Be interested in sex.
2. Pay her some attention.
3. Be a leader.

"Most women are practical creatures. They won't mind that you're not a billionaire. Just be interested in sex. Pay her some attention. And don't be afraid to take charge sometimes. Even if you're not a billionaire, you might get treated like one."


Those rules are superseded by these:

1. Be handsome
2. Be attractive
3. Don't be unattractive

A man who is interested in sex, willing to take command, and attentive to a woman is just a stalker.
 
2013-08-12 04:05:41 AM  

CarnySaur: The survey also found that 39 per cent of women wished men would reject their offers to pay.

Then don't offer.


I dislike the social dance of offers that are meant to be turned down.

I read a thing once on how to handle an incident like spilling wine on a carpet as the guest, and it went through like five plus layers of offering to pay for cleaning and the host turning you down, with various points at which either host or guest ended up being the bad guy if they accepted the other party's offer at the wrong point.

farking ridiculous.
 
2013-08-12 04:07:06 AM  
How's that more effective than just paying for sex? Oh, wait, I see the 'r' now. Never mind.
 
2013-08-12 04:18:24 AM  
If a date is going badly, I'll typically just excuse myself to the restroom and then leave the restaurant.

When a woman can't hold up her end of a conversation or eats like she's never been taught basic manners, she can pay for both of us. I'll be on my way home.

But if the date is going well, I'll generally offer to split the check. I don't want to come across as falsely chivalrous or seemingly attached to outdated social custom.
 
2013-08-12 04:27:56 AM  
I am more concerned about picking up herpes.
 
Ral
2013-08-12 04:29:17 AM  
If it's a date, the person who does the asking should pay.  Doesn't matter what genders are involved.
 
2013-08-12 04:38:57 AM  

Ral: If it's a date, the person who does the asking should pay.  Doesn't matter what genders are involved.


Absolutely correct. You ask, you pay. Easy as that.
 
2013-08-12 04:43:11 AM  
Why would I have to worry about the woman paying? She's at the kitchen cooking the meal.
 
2013-08-12 04:43:31 AM  
If the girl you are dating looks young, always have your first date in a bar that has an out-of-duty cop to card at the entrance. Best way to ensure she's at least 21.
 
2013-08-12 04:47:37 AM  

Ral: If it's a date, the person who does the asking should pay.  Doesn't matter what genders are involved.



Then who pays when she says "why don't you ask me to go to the theater to see so-and-so with you this Friday"?

/Knew a woman who claimed to follow the 'asker pays' rule, but always tried to get out of it by awkwardly phrasing everything in such a way that the guy would end up being the one asking.
 
2013-08-12 04:48:59 AM  
Call me crazy, but I usually get to know the girl pretty well through talking/texting/whatever long before I take her out to dinner. I'm not about to spend money on some chick I don't even know. If I'm taking her to dinner, that means we're already good friends or lovers.
 
2013-08-12 04:53:02 AM  

The sound of one hand clapping: Altoid: This clearly bears repeating...

From Stephen Snyder, MD, Psychiatrist based in New York, advice to men:

"1. Be interested in sex.
2. Pay her some attention.
3. Be a leader.

"Most women are practical creatures. They won't mind that you're not a billionaire. Just be interested in sex. Pay her some attention. And don't be afraid to take charge sometimes. Even if you're not a billionaire, you might get treated like one."

All women need to know really is this.

1.  If she's on a date with a man, it's already implied that he's interested in sex.  If he doesn't seem like he is, it's because he feels he should downplay the fact that he's hoping to get laid on the first date.
2.  If the guy isn't paying her any attention either he thinks she's hideous or he's secretly gay.  I've never heard of a guy going on a date with a girl he likes and not paying her attention.
3.  If the girl is on a date with a leader type, then she sure as hell better be considering putting out on the first date because in my experience those guys don't mess around.  Remember ladies, the more powerful/assertive the guy, the more options he has.


3. If the girl is on a date with a leader type, then she sure as hell better be considering putting out on the first date because in my experience those guys don't mess around. Remember ladies, the more powerful/assertive the guy, the more options he thinks he has.

FTFT
 
2013-08-12 04:53:08 AM  

From The Woods: Call me crazy, but I usually get to know the girl pretty well through talking/texting/whatever long before I take her out to dinner. I'm not about to spend money on some chick I don't even know. If I'm taking her to dinner, that means we're already good friends or lovers.


My wife still picks on me because I never took her on a real date until after we were engaged.
 
2013-08-12 05:09:46 AM  
I see lots of men date the wrong kind of women....and lots of women here are still living under the delusion they are a princess to be pampered and "won".

I learned my lesson after the second date with my current gf...when she tried to pay for dinner and i refused to let her.

I got an earful in the parking lot...went something like this: "If you are looking for a spoiled princess type who expects tge man to pay for everything them u need to keep looking. Otherwise, you will have to let ME contribute to furthering our relationship as well because I like feeling like i have just as much invested in us. Second, dont be rude. I like you enough to actually WANT to contribute to this...so next time, accept it like a true gentleman would."


Yeah..knew right away she was a keeper.

2 years so far...engagement coming in Jan :)
 
2013-08-12 05:10:26 AM  

frostus: From The Woods: Call me crazy, but I usually get to know the girl pretty well through talking/texting/whatever long before I take her out to dinner. I'm not about to spend money on some chick I don't even know. If I'm taking her to dinner, that means we're already good friends or lovers.

My wife still picks on me because I never took her on a real date until after we were engaged.


Was the marriage arranged? How in the hell do you not go out of a date until you're engaged? Sleepovers, giggling under the sheets while you shine a flashlight up and discuss how it resembles a boob? Playing legos, or did you just meet up for dueling raids on World of Warcraft? Christ, some people.
 
2013-08-12 05:16:39 AM  

Ral: If it's a date, the person who does the asking should pay.  Doesn't matter what genders are involved.


This is what is becoming more normal.

Last two relationships ive been in, including current one, have been with older women.

They both assume(d) that is the date (or night out) was their idea, then they would pay.

Although as things progressed into more of a LTR/possible marrage-worthy stage, we often split up stuff.

"Okay...you buy the movie tickets and I'll go in and get the drinks and popcorn"

or

"You treated to lunch, so dinner is on me" kind of thing.
 
2013-08-12 05:21:28 AM  

cheap_thoughts: frostus: From The Woods: Call me crazy, but I usually get to know the girl pretty well through talking/texting/whatever long before I take her out to dinner. I'm not about to spend money on some chick I don't even know. If I'm taking her to dinner, that means we're already good friends or lovers.

My wife still picks on me because I never took her on a real date until after we were engaged.

Was the marriage arranged? How in the hell do you not go out of a date until you're engaged? Sleepovers, giggling under the sheets while you shine a flashlight up and discuss how it resembles a boob? Playing legos, or did you just meet up for dueling raids on World of Warcraft? Christ, some people.


She moved into the apartment a month after we met and we just hung out as roommates. We had no car and very little money so there wasn't any going out really. Just drinking and listening to music and watching bad TV. After a while we got our own place, got engaged, got real jobs and a car, and then I took her to dinner.
 
2013-08-12 05:27:09 AM  

From The Woods: Call me crazy, but I usually get to know the girl pretty well through talking/texting/whatever long before I take her out to dinner. I'm not about to spend money on some chick I don't even know. If I'm taking her to dinner, that means we're already good friends or lovers.


Most people spend a couple weeks texting/talking first in order to weed out the crazy ones.

By the time a first date happens, you should be reasonably sure you aren't wasting your time.

One of my most memorable first dates: she wanted a new mountain bike so i helped her pick it out. To thank me for taking my one day off that week to help her, she bought dinner. At the end of dinner she said "Well...this has been one of the best first dates i've ever had...what do you think?"

Me: date?

Her: uh...yes. date. What did u think?

Me: DATE?!

Her: *blank look*

Me: um...how about tomorrow we go to dinner...my treat...and this time i'll know ahead of time it's a date and i wont wear jeans and a Red Sox hat.

Her: deal.


Lasted 6 years and and an engagement...almost got married.
 
2013-08-12 05:29:21 AM  

The more you eat the more you fart: From The Woods: Call me crazy, but I usually get to know the girl pretty well through talking/texting/whatever long before I take her out to dinner. I'm not about to spend money on some chick I don't even know. If I'm taking her to dinner, that means we're already good friends or lovers.

Most people spend a couple weeks texting/talking first in order to weed out the crazy ones.

By the time a first date happens, you should be reasonably sure you aren't wasting your time.

One of my most memorable first dates: she wanted a new mountain bike so i helped her pick it out. To thank me for taking my one day off that week to help her, she bought dinner. At the end of dinner she said "Well...this has been one of the best first dates i've ever had...what do you think?"

Me: date?

Her: uh...yes. date. What did u think?

Me: DATE?!

Her: *blank look*

Me: um...how about tomorrow we go to dinner...my treat...and this time i'll know ahead of time it's a date and i wont wear jeans and a Red Sox hat.

Her: deal.


Lasted 6 years and and an engagement...almost got married.


Dodged that bullet!
 
2013-08-12 05:30:35 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: The more you eat the more you fart: From The Woods: Call me crazy, but I usually get to know the girl pretty well through talking/texting/whatever long before I take her out to dinner. I'm not about to spend money on some chick I don't even know. If I'm taking her to dinner, that means we're already good friends or lovers.

Most people spend a couple weeks texting/talking first in order to weed out the crazy ones.

By the time a first date happens, you should be reasonably sure you aren't wasting your time.

One of my most memorable first dates: she wanted a new mountain bike so i helped her pick it out. To thank me for taking my one day off that week to help her, she bought dinner. At the end of dinner she said "Well...this has been one of the best first dates i've ever had...what do you think?"

Me: date?

Her: uh...yes. date. What did u think?

Me: DATE?!

Her: *blank look*

Me: um...how about tomorrow we go to dinner...my treat...and this time i'll know ahead of time it's a date and i wont wear jeans and a Red Sox hat.

Her: deal.


Lasted 6 years and and an engagement...almost got married.

Dodged that bullet!


Uh no. She died actually. Car wreck.

/buzzkill i know...but sadly true.
 
2013-08-12 05:32:49 AM  

The more you eat the more you fart: AverageAmericanGuy: The more you eat the more you fart: From The Woods: Call me crazy, but I usually get to know the girl pretty well through talking/texting/whatever long before I take her out to dinner. I'm not about to spend money on some chick I don't even know. If I'm taking her to dinner, that means we're already good friends or lovers.

Most people spend a couple weeks texting/talking first in order to weed out the crazy ones.

By the time a first date happens, you should be reasonably sure you aren't wasting your time.

One of my most memorable first dates: she wanted a new mountain bike so i helped her pick it out. To thank me for taking my one day off that week to help her, she bought dinner. At the end of dinner she said "Well...this has been one of the best first dates i've ever had...what do you think?"

Me: date?

Her: uh...yes. date. What did u think?

Me: DATE?!

Her: *blank look*

Me: um...how about tomorrow we go to dinner...my treat...and this time i'll know ahead of time it's a date and i wont wear jeans and a Red Sox hat.

Her: deal.


Lasted 6 years and and an engagement...almost got married.

Dodged that bullet!

Uh no. She died actually. Car wreck.

/buzzkill i know...but sadly true.


That right there is super sad and I feel bad for posting my flippant remark.
 
2013-08-12 05:33:48 AM  

The Angry Hand of God: Most of the time I pay for the check.  The trick is to act like you will both be paying your own way.  There is a lot of information to be discovered with that approach.


You go on dates for  information?Hmmm.
 
2013-08-12 05:39:06 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: The more you eat the more you fart: AverageAmericanGuy: The more you eat the more you fart: From The Woods: Call me crazy, but I usually get to know the girl pretty well through talking/texting/whatever long before I take her out to dinner. I'm not about to spend money on some chick I don't even know. If I'm taking her to dinner, that means we're already good friends or lovers.

Most people spend a couple weeks texting/talking first in order to weed out the crazy ones.

By the time a first date happens, you should be reasonably sure you aren't wasting your time.

One of my most memorable first dates: she wanted a new mountain bike so i helped her pick it out. To thank me for taking my one day off that week to help her, she bought dinner. At the end of dinner she said "Well...this has been one of the best first dates i've ever had...what do you think?"

Me: date?

Her: uh...yes. date. What did u think?

Me: DATE?!

Her: *blank look*

Me: um...how about tomorrow we go to dinner...my treat...and this time i'll know ahead of time it's a date and i wont wear jeans and a Red Sox hat.

Her: deal.


Lasted 6 years and and an engagement...almost got married.

Dodged that bullet!

Uh no. She died actually. Car wreck.

/buzzkill i know...but sadly true.

That right there is super sad and I feel bad for posting my flippant remark.


You should feel really bad! Shame on you.
 
2013-08-12 05:44:20 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: The more you eat the more you fart: AverageAmericanGuy: The more you eat the more you fart: From The Woods: Call me crazy, but I usually get to know the girl pretty well through talking/texting/whatever long before I take her out to dinner. I'm not about to spend money on some chick I don't even know. If I'm taking her to dinner, that means we're already good friends or lovers.

Most people spend a couple weeks texting/talking first in order to weed out the crazy ones.

By the time a first date happens, you should be reasonably sure you aren't wasting your time.

One of my most memorable first dates: she wanted a new mountain bike so i helped her pick it out. To thank me for taking my one day off that week to help her, she bought dinner. At the end of dinner she said "Well...this has been one of the best first dates i've ever had...what do you think?"

Me: date?

Her: uh...yes. date. What did u think?

Me: DATE?!

Her: *blank look*

Me: um...how about tomorrow we go to dinner...my treat...and this time i'll know ahead of time it's a date and i wont wear jeans and a Red Sox hat.

Her: deal.


Lasted 6 years and and an engagement...almost got married.

Dodged that bullet!

Uh no. She died actually. Car wreck.

/buzzkill i know...but sadly true.

That right there is super sad and I feel bad for posting my flippant remark.


Nah dude...appreciate the sentiment though...no offense taken :)

She was an absolutely fantastic woman....passed 2 months before the wedding. The first older woman i ever dated, and the reason i could never date a woman younger than 40 ever again. I learned more from her during those 6 years than i had in all of my previous. All her kids were grown, and im still close to all of them to this day.

With a new lady now...i guess ive been lucky. Ive been with two spectacular women in my life...one before and one currently :)

/yes...still miss her sometimes
//new lady is an absolute blast
///wouldn't trade either of them :)
 
2013-08-12 05:49:54 AM  
For the record, im older than 35, younger than 40.

*wink wink nudge nudge*

What they say about older women in the bedroom...TOTALLY true. Just sayin. Lol
 
2013-08-12 05:52:23 AM  

cheap_thoughts: AverageAmericanGuy: The more you eat the more you fart: AverageAmericanGuy: The more you eat the more you fart: From The Woods: Call me crazy, but I usually get to know the girl pretty well through talking/texting/whatever long before I take her out to dinner. I'm not about to spend money on some chick I don't even know. If I'm taking her to dinner, that means we're already good friends or lovers.

Most people spend a couple weeks texting/talking first in order to weed out the crazy ones.

By the time a first date happens, you should be reasonably sure you aren't wasting your time.

One of my most memorable first dates: she wanted a new mountain bike so i helped her pick it out. To thank me for taking my one day off that week to help her, she bought dinner. At the end of dinner she said "Well...this has been one of the best first dates i've ever had...what do you think?"

Me: date?

Her: uh...yes. date. What did u think?

Me: DATE?!

Her: *blank look*

Me: um...how about tomorrow we go to dinner...my treat...and this time i'll know ahead of time it's a date and i wont wear jeans and a Red Sox hat.

Her: deal.


Lasted 6 years and and an engagement...almost got married.

Dodged that bullet!

Uh no. She died actually. Car wreck.

/buzzkill i know...but sadly true.

That right there is super sad and I feel bad for posting my flippant remark.

You should feel really bad! Shame on you.


Oh..he couldnt have known...and..this is fark lol

Besides...its been a few years and i've dealt with it and moved on now :)
 
2013-08-12 05:54:37 AM  

The more you eat the more you fart: cheap_thoughts: AverageAmericanGuy: The more you eat the more you fart: AverageAmericanGuy: The more you eat the more you fart: From The Woods: Call me crazy, but I usually get to know the girl pretty well through talking/texting/whatever long before I take her out to dinner. I'm not about to spend money on some chick I don't even know. If I'm taking her to dinner, that means we're already good friends or lovers.

Most people spend a couple weeks texting/talking first in order to weed out the crazy ones.

By the time a first date happens, you should be reasonably sure you aren't wasting your time.

One of my most memorable first dates: she wanted a new mountain bike so i helped her pick it out. To thank me for taking my one day off that week to help her, she bought dinner. At the end of dinner she said "Well...this has been one of the best first dates i've ever had...what do you think?"

Me: date?

Her: uh...yes. date. What did u think?

Me: DATE?!

Her: *blank look*

Me: um...how about tomorrow we go to dinner...my treat...and this time i'll know ahead of time it's a date and i wont wear jeans and a Red Sox hat.

Her: deal.


Lasted 6 years and and an engagement...almost got married.

Dodged that bullet!

Uh no. She died actually. Car wreck.

/buzzkill i know...but sadly true.

That right there is super sad and I feel bad for posting my flippant remark.

You should feel really bad! Shame on you.

Oh..he couldnt have known...and..this is fark lol

Besides...its been a few years and i've dealt with it and moved on now :)


IN YOUR FACE, cheap_thoughts!
 
2013-08-12 05:58:18 AM  
I can hear cries of gender inequality from the ladies already
 
2013-08-12 05:59:50 AM  

Gdalescrboz: I can hear cries of gender inequality from the ladies already


Only the insecure ones.
 
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