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(Gizmodo)   The USDA has over 700,000 vials of sperm should we ever need to grow cows, chickens, your mom   (gizmodo.com) divider line 33
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571 clicks; posted to Geek » on 09 Aug 2013 at 4:53 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



33 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-08-09 05:18:30 PM
No eggs, though. D'oh!
 
2013-08-09 05:25:49 PM

gnosis301: No eggs, though. D'oh!


Life finds a way
 
2013-08-09 05:35:39 PM
Any bee sperm?
 
2013-08-09 05:36:04 PM

olddeegee: Any bee sperm?


Are you asking for a friend
 
2013-08-09 05:38:33 PM
700,000 vials of sperms? Come on.
 
2013-08-09 05:52:00 PM
I provided for about 1/4 of that sperm.

/yes I am a cow
//I'm on the internet.
 
2013-08-09 05:52:49 PM
I knew a girl that worked at a sperm bank.

She was fired for drinking on the job.

/I'll be here all night
//Tip your waitress.
 
2013-08-09 06:20:45 PM
Good news:  USDA had the foresight to store 700,000 vials of sperm.
Bad News:  The labels wore off.
 
2013-08-09 06:45:41 PM

Dante87336: I provided for about 1/4 of that sperm.

/yes I am a cow
//I'm on the internet.


No one knows your a cow.
On the internet.
 
2013-08-09 06:57:37 PM
I have a life dream to visit the Plant equivalent in Svalbard.

http://gizmodo.com/362789/svalbard-global-seed-vault-scoffs-at-nucle ar -winter

Seriously though. We're scientists. We have you covered. Most of the time. Sometimes it's with Nuclear Winter, and Cancerbees, but we have you covered.
 
2013-08-09 06:59:23 PM
www.cineol.net
 
2013-08-09 07:07:30 PM
FA, headline and thread show that FARK really is Beavis and Butthead meet MSNBC echo chamber.

'Your mom' shiat was tired when I first heard it, and that was 40+ years ago.
 
2013-08-09 07:45:23 PM
Hell, it even is supplied in little test tubes, like a shot of fine liqueur.
 
2013-08-09 10:08:48 PM
Vial of my moms sperm.

Yes... well.
 
2013-08-09 10:11:30 PM

SevenizGud: FA, headline and thread show that FARK really is Beavis and Butthead meet MSNBC echo chamber.

'Your mom' shiat was tired when I first heard it, and that was 40+ years ago.


Your mom liked it when I told her the joke last night.
 
2013-08-09 10:16:32 PM

SevenizGud: FA, headline and thread show that FARK really is Beavis and Butthead meet MSNBC echo chamber.

'Your mom' shiat was tired when I first heard it, and that was 40+ years ago.


"Tired" does not automatically negate "funny". As my 5yr old kid will attest, everything's ultra funny when you're tired.
 
2013-08-09 10:38:45 PM
So THAT'S how it is at the USDA.

/cute that they think after nuclear war there will be labs and skilled people to grow animals on a radioactive wasteland.
 
2013-08-09 10:47:15 PM

SevenizGud: FA, headline and thread show that FARK really is Beavis and Butthead meet MSNBC echo chamber.

'Your mom' shiat was tired when I first heard it, and that was 40+ years ago.


We-hell, boys! Lookie wut we have here! A coinosuer!

Y'all poppin' in here after a hard day editin' them readin' articles on that thar Wiki-pedia?

Y'all want me to pour y'all a nice glass o' wine an' get yo' slippers like y'all some sort-a genteel man?
 
2013-08-09 10:49:30 PM

yagottabefarkinkiddinme: So THAT'S how it is at the USDA.

/cute that they think after nuclear war there will be labs and skilled people to grow animals on a radioactive wasteland.


No, they just think that in the future post-nuclear apocalyptic wasteland, there will be a great need for bukkake. And we should all commend their foresight.
 
2013-08-09 11:18:09 PM

Suckmaster Burstingfoam: yagottabefarkinkiddinme: So THAT'S how it is at the USDA.

/cute that they think after nuclear war there will be labs and skilled people to grow animals on a radioactive wasteland.

No, they just think that in the future post-nuclear apocalyptic wasteland, there will be a great need for bukkake. And we should all commend their foresight.


Radioactive tenacles will increase in number and frequency of random encounters.
 
2013-08-10 12:27:35 AM
665880566.r.lightningbase-cdn.com

/approves
 
2013-08-10 01:07:11 AM
I rember this one the sperm is stored right next to a milk testing facility
 
2013-08-10 01:51:36 AM

Whatthefark: I knew a girl that worked at a sperm bank.

She was fired for drinking on the job.

/I'll be here all night
//Tip your waitress.


just the tip
 
2013-08-10 02:46:41 AM
If you pumped my stomach on any given Tuesday, I'm sure you'd find twice as much sperm.  The USDA ain't got nothing on me.
 
2013-08-10 03:29:49 AM
i hope they have all sorts of other seed banks as well. shiat happens, be prepared.
 
2013-08-10 04:14:37 AM

SevenizGud: FA, headline and thread show that FARK really is Beavis and Butthead meet MSNBC echo chamber.

'Your mom' shiat was tired when I first heard it, and that was 40+ years ago.


Of course you think it's tired.
Know what else is tired?
 
2013-08-10 07:07:23 AM

Dante87336: I provided for about 1/4 of that sperm.

/yes I am a cow
//I'm on the internet.


Don't you mean BULL? No, seriously, cows are the females. What is wrong with you?
 
2013-08-10 07:35:44 AM

SevenizGud: FA, headline and thread show that FARK really is Beavis and Butthead meet MSNBC echo chamber.

'Your mom' shiat was tired when I first heard it, and that was 40+ years ago.


Nope.  You mistyped Reddit.com again you DESU screaming tard.
 
2013-08-10 07:39:09 AM

olddeegee: Any bee sperm?



As apocalyptic scenarios go, colony collapse disorder kind of worries me. I mean, I don't stay up at night worrying about it, but if the pollinators go, we're hosed.
 
2013-08-10 08:42:49 AM
There is semen everywhere!
 
2013-08-10 10:15:35 AM

Bennie Crabtree: Suckmaster Burstingfoam: yagottabefarkinkiddinme: So THAT'S how it is at the USDA.

/cute that they think after nuclear war there will be labs and skilled people to grow animals on a radioactive wasteland.

No, they just think that in the future post-nuclear apocalyptic wasteland, there will be a great need for bukkake. And we should all commend their foresight.

Radioactive tenacles will increase in number and frequency of random encounters.


It'll be like Gamma World meets Overfiend?
 
2013-08-10 11:38:49 AM
encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com

VERY interested.
 
2013-08-10 01:29:32 PM
southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com

...has been VERY busy, apparently
 
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